The Truth About James and Lily Potter's Deaths

One fine day during Harry's Christmas break in his sixth year, Hagrid decided to stop by.

"'Allo, Harry!" said the half-giant cheerily.

"Hello, Hagrid! How are you doing?" said the young wizard boy.

"That's kinda wha' I wanted ter talk to ya abou'," he replied a little bit less cheerily. He motioned to his house at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Harry took it to be asking him to come with him, so they went.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" asked Harry after Hagrid had poured them both some tea.

"Well, let's see. Where to begin…" started Hagrid.

Trying to help the poor man along, Harry asked, "What is this about?"

"It's about yer parents," Hagrid blurted out in his accent.

Harry instantly straightened up at the mention of the people lost to him at a young age.

"Yea, and it's about their death," mumbled the adult.

"I know, Hagrid," said Harry, "Wormtail betrayed my parents and Voldemort came and killed them."

"Actually, Harry, that's not what happened," said the poor man.

"Well, then, Hagrid. What really did happen?" asked Harry with curiosity.

"Well, it all started like this," the great beast-lover began, "You know about the four Marauders, right?"

"Yes, Hagrid."

"Well, yer dad, Sirius, and Remus were very close."

"I know that. They were the very best of friends."

"Well, umm, I don't know how to break it to you, but… they were gay and in a love triangle."

Harry fainted. But when his head hit the ground, he was roused awake. "So what does that have to do with my mum?"

"Well, yer dad was bi." Replied Hagrid with a grim smile.

"What?"

"Bisexual. Liked lasses and lads in a romantic way."

"I can see where this is going," said Harry with a sick look on his face.

"Yes. Well, yer dad was feeling kinda left out from the affair, so he went out with yer mum and got married when they graduated. Shortly after they had you."

"My dad was bisexual," said Harry over and over to himself.

"Yes, and one day, Wormtail decided to get revenge for being left out of everything. So he went to yer house and knocked on the door."

"Obviously, there's no electricity here," said Harry with a roll of his eyes.

"Shut up, lad and let me tell the story. Now don't interrupt me again!"

Harry remained quiet.

"Well, when Wormtail broke the news that yer father was bisexual to yer mum, she screamed until she died of a lack of oxygen."

"That explains why mum screamed when she died," muttered Harry, "but what about the green light?"

"Hold yer hippogriffs!" demanded Hagrid, "Anyway, yer dad was a little slow on the uptake, but shortly after, he ran down the stairs with you in his arms. He tripped over yer mother and was sent crashing headlong into the wall, where he broke his neck and died. You crashed into quill that scratched a scar on yer forehead. Wormtail disapparated, and everything was silent. But a few minutes later, Voldemort appeared in yer fireplace in a green puff with motives to make up for how badly he treated you guys when you were born. But he was at the right place at the wrong time late and got caught by aurors. They all blasted him with different spells. When combined, they had the effects of a badly cast Avada Kadevra spell. A great cry of 'Fuck you, Potter! I'll get you for this!' was heard and he vanished to his home for ten years of physical therapy."

"So that's why he wanted to kill me," said Harry slowly, green from the unsettling story. Either that or the red tea he was drinking.

"Hagrid, what kind of tea is this?" Harry asked, pointing to the goblet.

"Oh, shit! Yer tea's still on the stove. That there is the menstrual fluid of a Hungarian Horntail. Nasty stuff that is. If ya drink it, ye'll wake up with red sheets every month and a new bodily function, if ye know what I mean," Hagrid said with a wink.

Harry fainted.

"Just kiddin' about that. It's just cherry-avocado Gatorade," the half-giant said when Harry woke up, "Anyways, getting on with the story…"

"Are we almost done yet?" asked Harry, wary of this whole new outlook over his father and mother.

"Yep, we are," Hagrid said, "When you woke up, ye mischievous little tyke, you, ye went outside to go digging in yer sandbox. But instead ye dug in the garden and found the faulty foundations of the house. To get them out of the way, ye shook it a bit and yer house fell down. Sirius Black found ye, gave ye ter me, and sent me to find Dumbledore. And that is why yer Aunt Petunia really hates yer mum. She knew he was bisexual, but yer mum was as dense as pig fat in molasses. And now the story is over. Go back to class and don't tell Ron and Hermione," Hagrid suddenly got up and pushed Harry out of the house.

Harry recovered and ran up to his girlfriend. "Hey, Ginny! Guess what I just learned about my parents!"

Within the day, the whole school knew, and everyone was called to their houses to have their memory obliterated. But Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny escaped. Nothing was the same between the four, and it was all thanks to James Potter, and Hagrid's big mouth.

Fin

Did you like it? Me, my friend Maura, and my friend Kelly got this idea on the bus and I had to post it. I know its possessed but we were on sugar-highs!

Luv Elizabeth Rikku