When I began writing my Cammy trilogy, first off, I wasn't expecting it to be a trilogy. But most of all I expected to write something with a beginning, middle and an end. The beginning and the middle weren't so hard. It's the end that always seems to get me. Sure I can close a story, but the characters have such a life, a power over me, I can't end it for them. Maybe I just can't ever let them be happy actually. I swear I should write for a soap opera. Never ending drama and a whole lot of angst is just my cup of tea. I also never expected to have such wonderful original characters. Scott Wagner is so much fun to write for, I'm actually quite jealous and wish he was mine. (Sometimes I pretend he is, Jami.) And then there's Julian Marquez, my actual original character. He just amazes me. This poor man has been through hell and back yet I keep throwing more at him. And Cammy (not mine, but my focus), I'm surprised she's still breathing after what I've done to her.
Now that I've mentioned more I can get into what this whole 'author's note', as one would call it, is all about. With the trilogy, I've brought it full circle. I'm sure not many noticed that at the beginning of "The Real Life Cammy", Charlie was twenty-three years old and that at the end of "One More Life", Cammy was twenty-three years old? It was totally intentional, at least that's what I like the tell myself. Okay, don't lose me here now kids…the whole entire point of me writing this is to introduce the next story. (Leave it to me to tell you my story has gone full circle and then introduce the next one, huh?) This is totally separate, though of course connected to the other three, with no past there is no future. There has been extensive research done on my part into where the characters, given their pasts, should be psychologically. I'm trying to work in, slightly obvious symbolism and all that other English mumbo jumbo that fascinates me. As a Psychology major who loves reading and picking apart works, this is right up my ally and fun, so don't feel sorry for me. But also this is the most time I've ever put into something, and the biggest risk I've ever taken with characters. So what? Maybe I'm a little scared? I'm still putting it out there right? Just be kind, but don't be afraid to be frank with me. (I'll make the same mistake forever if you give me daisy scented reviews!) And for God's sake, just enjoy the story.
--
Living risky,
never scared, wander
Closer to the edge
Nothing valued think no fear,
Always wondering why you're here
All your purposes are gone, nothing's
Right and nothing's wrong
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Feel no sorrow, feel no pain.
Kiss me while I'm still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms,
Let me live and let me learn
Now I'll follow my own way, and I'll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice,
Remember when this was my life?
Looking forward, not behind
Everybody's got to cross that line
Free me now to give me a place,
Keep me caged and free the beast
Falling faster, time goes by,
Fear is not seen through these eyes
What there was will never be,
Now I'm blind and cannot see.
Kiss me while I'm still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms, let me
Live and let me learn
Now I'll follow my own way, and I'll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice,
Remember when this was my life?3 Doors Down—"Life on My Own"
A bead of sweat rolled down Cammy's forehead, but a seasoned operative such as herself knew better than to wipe it away. She only hoped it wouldn't fall into her eyes like her blonde wisps of hair had already done. It was sweltering in this jungle and all of her concentration was aimed at keeping her palms dry. Couldn't very well hold a gun securely with sweaty palms. Cammy kept her breathing soft as she waited for her signal. Now was where the math begun; two clips, eight bullets each, that's sixteen. Wolfman estimated twelve men guarding the outside. Cammy slowly moved her hands to the butts of the twin Brownings she had holstered under her arms. While a Browning was usually a two handed gun, Cammy's engineered strength enabled her to perform slightly above the norm. Point in her favor. Yet her teammates, located at various other entrances of the base, had years of training and experience on her. She couldn't help but feel misplaced. Colonel Wolfman had said she had the heart, the spirit, the drive; she only hoped he was right.
It had been a year since Cammy had been offered the position with Delta Red. Her life was totally changed. Everyday was a battle waiting to happen. She had to be strong twenty-four/seven, not something she was used to. But the biggest change was she had to be indifferent. She had joined to be personally involved, but she couldn't. Not and survive. Survival was the most important thing, and that meant kill or be killed. At first Cammy secretly missed her targets, deliberately aiming to spare the enemy's life. But that was short lived. It was her third mission when an enemy she had spared didn't get the hint. He shot back after he hit the floor, injuring her and Wolfman. Until that moment, Wolfman had overlooked her mercy, but that was the end of it. Now she just didn't look back and assumed all her targets survived. That way she wouldn't die inside. She wouldn't turn into what she feared. A cold-blooded killer.
The signal to move beeped in her earpiece. Furrowing her eyebrows into a scowl, Cammy stood as she drew the Brownings. The noise from the guns was instant, ringing out before her fingers felt like they were done pulling the triggers. Instantly the two men closest to her initial position fell; wounded or dead, she didn't know. She rolled behind a wall as the remaining enemy returned fire. Now was the tough part, no element of surprise on her side. Shooting as she came out from the wall, another two men went down and she gained ten yards. Cammy continued forward, rolling and shooting simultaneously. Only one man fell and only one gun shot. The Browning in her left hand clicked empty. After her first stab of fear, Cammy's mind flashed to her last target practice, and not finishing the clip. Thanks in most part to her strategic rolling, the soldier who she had targeted with the empty guns shot missed. Once again behind the safety of a wall, Cammy had no time to freak out. She dropped the empty Browning and held her remaining one with two hands. She had to get in the building. In a surge of adrenaline, Cammy bolted for the door, shooting more to distract rather than kill, praying the whole way. The Browning clicked empty after five quick shots, and she had roughly fifteen feet to go. Cammy threw the gun as a makeshift sixth shot as she dashed the remaining distance, bullets trailing after her.
She leapt the last few feet. As she hit the floor, Cammy skidded on her side before her body roughly hit the wall. Before she could even breathe a sigh of relief, she saw men approaching. Kicking to her feet, Cammy readied herself for a type of battle she was more accustomed to. Within seconds of standing, she had slammed the closest soldier's head into the floor. Running towards the next man, she smashed her elbow into his stomach. He doubled over and she grabbed his hair with one hand, his throat with the other. He would have cried out if his breathing hadn't been restricted. She yelled as she pushed him towards a digital pad on the wall, near the door.
"Shut the door!"
He stuttered what sounded to Cammy like, 'I don't know the code!' She tightened her grip on his throat as she yelled again.
"Do it and I won't kill you!"
He fumbled his arm towards the keypad and pushed the code. Cammy mumbled as she slammed his head into the now closed door.
"Thought so."
She paused for a moment, letting everything sink in. It was quiet now, the hardest part was over. She had almost screwed everything up. Now she just had to make her way into the control room. Cammy jogged down the long hall, the 2-D black and white map coming to life as she ran. She approached the door and pulled out her digital defragmenter, setting it to work on cracking the code to the control room. Cammy's heart raced as she waited. It was too quiet now. Of course that really just meant her teammates had done their jobs correctly. The door beeped and slid open.
Before she could step inside, Cammy felt a foot slam into her spine and she flew forward into the room. Tucking her body into a roll, she bounded back to her feet and faced her assailant; a young woman, her age with short brown hair cropped under her chin and rage written all over her face. Cammy recognized her instantly; her name was Juli, and she was a Shadowlaw Doll, just like she herself once was. Cammy realized this mission had already gone terribly wrong due to her carelessness, but it hadn't failed yet, and it wasn't going to if she could help it. Even if it meant battling this woman.
Cammy quickly covered the distance between them, leaping at the last moment and launching a kick into the Juli's chest. She absorbed the impact, using the wall behind her to bounce back at Cammy, who had gracefully landed from the jump kick. Cammy dodged her initial thrusts before jabbing her elbow into her chin. Blood splattered on Cammy as Juli's lips busted under the power of Cammy's blow. Cammy grabbed for her neck, but she ducked and rolled past Cammy's legs. Cammy turned just in time to scoot back to avoid a jab into her stomach. Juli turned a full circle and tried the same thrust. Cammy dodged again, thinking how stupid it was for her to attempt the same failed move. At least that's what she thought to herself before she felt her shirt tear and blood dribble from a new wound on her abdomen. Cammy caught herself before she cried out, instead playing it off as a small sound of amazement. Juli took a step back, again in her fighting stance, but this time with a large switchblade. She couldn't help but speak in a morbidly sarcastic tone.
"Not another weapon. One in a lifetime is enough."
Juli looked puzzled, which Cammy expected. But it was a momentary confusion. Juli yelled as she rushed Cammy.
"Deal with it!"
The blade was headed right for Cammy's neck with the force of Juli's rage behind it. Cammy could do rage. Rage was her second nature. As the Doll was about to deliver a killing blow, Cammy moved quickly, grabbing her wrist and slamming the blade into the wall behind her. Still with a hold on Juli's wrist, Cammy flipped her body over, forcing her into the floor. She kicked her hard in the stomach, a coward's blow, but Cammy didn't know what was coming over her.
"See how you fight without your claw!"
Juli looked up at her like she was crazy. Cammy knew she must have looked crazy, something came over her on missions. But it was the mission that was important. Cammy reached down the pick the woman up and finish her, but before she could, powerful arms went under her armpits and around the back of her neck. She immediately tried to flip the unseen enemy, but whoever it was he was too strong and too heavy. Wolfman's voice filled her ears.
"Don't, we need her."
Cammy calmed instantly as Luwanda bound Juli's wrists. Cammy grabbed her stomach, feeling that her cut was just a flesh wound, before speaking.
"Someone had better tell me what the hell is going on."