Some kind of a note: I was really bored when I was doing this story. Forgive me for errors and whateverers. I did this on lunchtime and was extremely hungry 'cause there was no food in the ref. Forgive me if this fic contains so much ramen and food and stupidness. Pls. forgive me! WWWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH! By the way! (stops wailing) How do you talk to other authors? I'm kinda new here so please tell me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I wish I did though. (tears start falling) I wish I own Naruto! I wish I did! I wish! I wish! I wish! (Naruto appears out of nowhere wearing a gown and holding a magic wand with a star in it)
Fairy Naruto-mother: Don't worry! You can always write a story.
Me: (stops crying) Oh yeah! Well, here's the story!
The Stupid Book
Chapter One: Shikamaru and Ino, in a barbeque store?
Authoress: Team 7 was waiting for their usually, I mean, always late sensei, Kakashi.
Naruto: Yep! That's right! How'd you know anyway?
Authoress: (sighs) it's because I watch the series.
Naruto: You do? (Pauses) Yay! Are you my fan? (jumps up and down with joy)
Authoress: Not really. But I somehow like you.
Naruto: Yay! Yay! I love you! (rushes to authoress and gives her a big hug)
Sasuke: Dobe…
Authoress: (a little tinge of red appears on cheeks when Naruto hugs her) Now, now, Naruto! I only said I like you. Besides, Hinata likes you more.
Naruto: (releases authoress from hug and scratches his head) Yeah! Hinata-chan thinks of me as her best friend.
Authoress: (sighs) You know nothing…
Naruto: (narrows eyes suspiciously) What do you mean? What do I don't know?
Authoress: You see Hinata l (But Sakura covers her mouth)
Sakura: Ah, er, nothing!
Sasuke: You don't know anything, dobe.
Naruto: What does that mean, Sasuke-bastard?
Sasuke: See? You don't know anything.
Naruto: Shut up, bastard.
Sasuke: Make me, dobe.
And before they could even start fighting, there was a loud POP and…
Kakashi: Hey guys!
Naruto and Sakura: YOU'RE LATE!
Kakashi: Sorry! You see, I was walking here but I saw this shadow on a wall. It was big and monster-like. I was scared. But it turned out that it was just a snail. But to make sure, I fought the snail and the snail had the spirit of the Fourth Hokage. (Stops and looks at his students. Vein were popping in their heads.)
Naruto: (growling) LIAR!
Kakashi: (sweat drops) Okay. We have no training sessions or missions today. Do anything you want. Bye! (disappears in a puff of smoke)
Sakura: (more veins popping in her head) I waited here for nothing?
Naruto: (says gleefully) Oh goody, good, good! I can eat my ramen all day long!
Sakura: (looks at Naruto curiously) How? You don't have that much money, right?
Naruto: (cackling almost evilly) I don't. But the old man had a promo that the millionth customer will have a month-long supply of ramen.
Sakura: (looks at Naruto unbelievably) Is that true? How'd you do that?
Naruto: (daydreaming about running in a field with a bowl of ramen but Sakura snaps him back to reality) Oh yeah! Yes, It's true! I was the first and millionth customer.
Sakura: (sweat drops) Oh, er, okay! (turns to Sasuke and smiles at him) You wanna go out with me, Sasuke-kun?
Sasuke: No
Sakura: (puts on a cute puppy dog look) Please? Pretty please, Sasuke-kun.
Sasuke: No.
Sakura: Please! C'mon. I wouldn't be boring.
Sasuke: No.
Sakura: Plea-
Sasuke: SHUT UP! YOU'RE SO DAMN ANNOYING! NO WONDER NO ONE LIKES YOU! WOULD YOU JUST GET A MILLION GALAXIES AWAY FROM ME? AM I JUST UNFORTUNATE OR WHAT? YOU'RE SUCH A DAMN STUPID B!
Sakura: (hiccups) I'm-hiccup-sorry! (runs away)
Naruto: (growls angrily) Look at what you did to Sakura-chan! You hurt her feelings! I don't know why she gives a damn about you anyway. You're such a bastard. (runs after Sakura)
Sasuke: (guilty face) Damn it! I just hurt her feelings again! How will I ever confess my feelings for her if I keep on hurting her?
To Where The Heck Sakura is:
Sakura: (Crying)
Naruto: (approaches Sakura) Hey Sakura!
Sakura: (looks at Naruto) Hey-hiccup-Naruto!
Naruto: Don't mind what that Sasuke-bastard tells you! He's just a fing bastard. He doesn't know how to appreciate.
Sakura: (smiles wryly) Yeah. I think I should-hiccup-forget me feelings for him. Now, I officially-hiccup-hate him!
Naruto: (Smiles) That's the spirit! Sorry but I need to go and eat ramen!
Sakura: (smiles) Yeah! Go on Naruto!
Naruto: (runs to ramen store)
Sakura: (stands up, dusts herself) I guess I go visit Ino-pig and tell her she's got Sasuke-sama all to herself. (walks toward Yamanaka flower shop)
Sakura reaches the Yamanaka flower shop but finds it empty…
Sakura: (scratches her head) I thought Ino was here?
So she walks towards the Yamanaka compound…
Sakura: Is Ino here?
Mrs. Yamanaka: Sorry but Ino isn't. Shikamaru and she went to the Eat all you can Barbeque Store.
Sakura: (bows politely) Thank you, Ms. Yamanaka.
Sakura walks towards the Barbeque store…
Sakura: (enters store and finds Ino and Shikamaru side-by-side) Hey Ino-pig! Hi Shikamaru!
Ino: Hey Sakura- big forehead!
Shikamaru: So troublesome…
Sakura: So what are you doing here? I went to the flower shop and your house but you were not there.
Ino: You should be the one to ask. Why are you here, anyway?
Sakura: I'm here to tell you that you get Sasuke. I don't want him anymore.
Shikamaru: (in a nervous voice) Huh? What?
Ino: (laughs) Don't worry, my Shika. (turns to Sakura) You get Sasuke. I have my Shika here.
Sakura: You sure look cute together.
Ino: Ya! I know that.
Sakura: They sure look sweet!
In a crappy park…Sasuke: How the heck do I tell Sakura that I like her? I just keep on hurting her. (Overturn a bench)
Suddenly, Itachi pops out nowhere…
Sasuke: (so surprised) Holy s! What the damn heck are you fing bastard doing here?
Itachi: Now, now, my little brother. Don't get so excited by seeing me here. I'm here to help you.
Sasuke: You freaking bastard! You killed the whole clan!
Itachi: But they told me to kill them.
Sasuke: (Eyes widen) They…did?
Itachi: (nods his head) Yeah! Wanna talk to them?
Sasuke: No way in hell! They're ghosts. So anyway. How can you help me about love problems?
Itachi: (gets a book from his pocket) By this! (hands book to Sasuke)
Sasuke reads the cover…
Sasuke: Sexy Itachi's Guide to Love and Romance? Will this really work?
Itachi: Yes! Read it now, my little brother.
So Sasuke drowns himself in a book called, erm, Sexy Itachi's Guide to Love and Romance.
A/N: So the chappy's done. How the hell do you talk to other authors? Thanx for reading this story. R&R. Ciao!