Disclaimer: I do not own HP & Co.

A/N: HP found out about the 'novo visius adoptio' charm from the 'Magic of Adoption book'. Sorry that I didn't make that clearer.

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Chapter 21 accepted and rejected

Harry woke up early on Wednesday. It was now six weeks since he had found out about his adoption. All the physical changes should be completed by now. He couldn't wait to see what 'Aren' looked like, he thought, as he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand, put them on and jumped out of bed to run to the mirror.

His eyes were the same shade of blue that they were on Saturday.

His hair was still black, but wavy and much longer; it was now past his waist.

He now stood a little over six feet.

His skin was a golden-tan tone.

His built wasn't as thin, and his shoulders seemed wider than before.

There was no obvious changes to his facial features. If you looked close, you would notice that his smile was a little wider and his eyes weren't as close together as they were at the beginning of the summer. Luckily, the changes to his features were very subtle, barely noticeable, unless someone was comparing 'the new Harry' to a picture of him from last year.

Overall, not too bad, he thought. He was a little worried, though, that his new height would be a problem in Quidditch. The smaller, slimmer built seemed to work better for seekers. Oh, well, if it was a problem, Harry thought, Ginny could always be the seeker; she did a great job last year. Maybe he could try out for chaser. He wouldn't mind being a keeper, either, but that was Ron's position and he wouldn't challenge his friend for it.

He finally stopped his musings and got dressed to head to breakfast.

The minute he entered the hall, he saw Hedwig waiting for him. Knowing that she had come back from Sweden and possibly with a reply from Cybelle's parents, he ran over to her.

"Mr. Potter, it may be summer, but the rules still apply. No running. Be thankful school isn't in session or it would be twenty point and a week of detention."

"Yes sir." Harry said, clutching the letter and small package that Hedwig had with her. His family had written back to him and it looks like they sent him a present as well, nothing could upset him today, he thought, not even Snape's insults or comments.

Harry quickly left the Great hall, more than willing to miss breakfast to read his letter and open the package that accompanied it. As soon as he was out of Snape's sight, he ran down to the lake, opened the letter, and started to read.

As he finished reading the letter, there were tears streaming down his cheeks and his mouth hung open in shock. He couldn't believe what he read. Why were they doing this to him?

Numbly, Harry stood up. He had just enough time to bring the letter and package into his room before heading to occlumency with Snape.

Harry spent the next few days in shock. He couldn't remember anything that happened during his occlumency lessons on Wednesday or Thursday, or what potions he had worked on with Snape in the evenings.

He didn't see the worried glances shot his way from his professors. Dumbledore, Remus, McGonagle, Pomphrey and even Snape watched him with concerned eyes. Each one of them had noticed the dramatic difference in his attitude that had occurred since they last saw him Tuesday evening. All of them suspected that something had happened, but none of them knew what it was. Perhaps his nightmares were back? Perhaps he was finally coming to terms with Sirius's death? Both of these were all possibilities, they thought, but no one knew for sure. If asked, each one of them would say that the boy was clearly in a state of depression. For the last two days, he had a vacant look on his face, seemed to automatically go through the motions of life, without showing any feelings. He barely talked and when he did it was only in short phrases, usually to answer direct questions, but his voice was flat and monotone, not revealing a hint of emotion. He wasn't eating; oh, he came to meals, but mostly just pushed the food around on his plate, not once lifting the fork to his mouth. He was more oblivious than usual to what was going on around him. When he wasn't with Severus for lessons, he could be seen haunting the corridors, wandering aimlessly about, consumed by his own thoughts.

Many of the professors tried to get Harry to share with them his problems, for the most part, he ignored them. He wasn't rude about it, it was as if he didn't even realize that they were there. Remus also tried to get Harry to talk to him, but Harry spent most of his time staring at nothing. He barely acknowledged that Remus was next to him. When he did talk it was usually to answer questions, his voice was flat and monotone, showing no emotion.

Thursday evening after Harry's 'potion lesson' with Snape, Harry was once more wandering around the castle, when he came upon a conversation between Dumbledore, Remus and Snape.

"Remus, do you know what happened to make Harry so withdrawn?"

"No, I don't think it is related to Sirius's death, though. We have talked about that, and he seemed to have accepted it and had come to terms with it. There are a few other things going on in his life right now, but he was excited about them last time we talked. I've tried to talk with him, but he barely acknowledges that I'm there."

"What's going on with him?" Dumbledore inquired.

"I really can't say, Albus. It's personal. If Harry wants to share it with you, he will."

"Does it have anyth-"

"No, sir. It has no connection with Voldemort, nor does it impact the Order."

"Hmm. Well, if that changes, please let me know. Now we will just have to pinpoint when Harry started acting like this and try to find the reason why."

"Something must have occurred early Wednesday morning. Tuesday evening at dinner he was fine. I didn't see him at breakfast on Wednesday, he must have slept in, but at lunch he was extremely quiet and I don't think he actually ate anything. The only thing I could think of that might affect him like this would be a vision from Voldemort."

"If it was a vision, I would think that he would share it. Surely he knows to do so by now, especially after the events of last term." Severus stated automatically, starting to think about his interactions with Harry yesterday morning.

"Severus," Albus said, seeing the expression on the potion master's face. "Do you know what this is about? Did something happen during his occlumency lesson on Wednesday?"

"What?" Snape asked as he was brought out of his thoughts. "No, sir, nothing happened during occlumency. I was just wondering if this was connected to the letter his owl brought him on Wednesday."

"Letter?" Remus said, sitting up straighter. "Hedwig brought him a letter on Wednesday? How do you know?"

"Because I saw it, wolf. He arrived early to breakfast yesterday, saw his owl waiting for him with a letter, ran over, grabbed the letter and left."

"How was he in occlumency that morning?" Albus asked.

"Quiet, but that's been normal. He's trying to learn how to impose false memories in his mind for someone to see. It requires more concentration on his part."

"Remus, can I gather from your reaction that something in that letter might have triggered this episode?" At Remus's reluctant nod, Albus continued, "Well, then, for now we will assume that the letter is the reason for this change, and not Voldemort. Remus, try to see what was in the letter and let us know if there is anything we can do. Hopefully he will talk to you about it. Now, Severus, how is he doing in occlumency? If Voldemort did try to plant a vision into Harry's mind, could Harry fend off the attachk?"

"The boy is doing surprisingly well. He can resist me, blocking me out for several minutes. If I am able to get into his mind, he can quickly push me out. However, if there are repeated attacks, his resistance is lower and it is only a matter of time before it is broken and he is no longer able to block me or push me out. If he keeps writing in the journal and clears his mind every night, he shouldn't have any more visions from the Dark Lord while he sleeps."

"Wonderful! Now you mentioned imposing false memories?"

"Yes, sir. This defense is best if he were to meet the Dark Lord in person again. He can protect the most important memories without revealing that he can block someone out of his mind. I do not think it is wise for Harry to try to keep the Dark Lord from his mind if they were to meet in person. This would only let the Dark Lord know that you thought it prudent that he learn occlumency. From what I know of the Dark Lord, this would make him believe that Harry has information that could be valuable if the 'wrong people' were to know it. He would stop at nothing to get this information from Harry, perhaps even causing irreparable damage to the boy's mind. However, if the Dark Lord sees less important memories or even false memories that Harry is controlling, then most likely he will assume that there is nothing of importance to gather from the boy's mind and that the information he seeks simply isn't there."

"That is great news. Hopefully, we can keep an eye on Harry this year, and won't have to test that theory. Now Severus, about letting him into your NEWT class-"

"No need to discuss it, Albus. I have already made my decision." Snape smirked.

"Surely, we can discuss this?" Remus asked, knowing how much Harry needed that class if he wanted to be an auror.

Albus ignored Remus's words and asked Severus, "and what is that decision?"

"Actually, I have realized that the boy is quite talented when it comes to potions. I suspect that with the smaller class and without Weasley to distract him, he could pass a NEWT potions class with honors. The skills he learned during his occlumency lessons should benefit him in the classroom as well. If he is able to keep the Dark Lord out of his mind and his emotions under control, then there should be no reason why he shouldn't be able to keep distractions in the classroom from hindering his work. I will let him into the class under a few conditions. First, neither of you mention to anyone what I just said regarding his talent for potions. Second, as far as he is concerned, the only reason I am letting him into the class is because the headmaster requested I do so. Along with that, he is held to the same standard as everyone else in the class-no special rules for the boy-who-lived, if at any time his grades in my class fall below the standard, or he is a danger to himself or other students in the classroom, due to improper technique, or if he cannot control his temper, he is out."

Hearing Severus's conditions, Albus's eyes twinkled and the older wizard smiled. "Agreed. I will let him know that he has been accepted at my request, much to your dismay and against your judgment. Remus, I have an assignment for you, if you are willing. Please meet me in my offices tomorrow morning and we can discuss it. Right now, maybe you should try to see how Harry is doing. Try to get him to talk with you about that letter. Hopefully he will discuss it with you and will return to his 'normal' disposition" Ignoring Severus's muttered 'I rather like him quiet like this', Albus continued, "He isn't going to be able to stay here the next few weeks, since all the teachers will be busy preparing for the new term, and I would like to see him eating and being aware of his surroundings if he is to spend the last few weeks of summer holiday at home. Severus, I need to discuss a few more things with you, will you join me in my office?"

"Of course, headmaster." Severus said as the three left the great hall, two of them heading towards the gargoyle leading to the headmaster's office and one of them following the scent of the only teenager currently in residence in the castle, who had left the hallway just moment's before.

XXXX

"Harry, Harry. Open up."

"Harry. Let me in." Remus said as he knocked on the door to Harry's room. "I know you're in there and I know that you are still awake."

"How did you know?" Harry said as he opened the door. "Or did you only suspect and I just proved you right by opening the door?"

"Harry, I leave those tricks to the Slytherins. I'm a werewolf. I followed your scent from the great hall. How much did you hear?"

"About all of it, I think." Harry said as he looked down.

"Harry, I know that you don't like people keeping things from you, but you also know that there are some things that don't concern you. I don't want to catch you or even hear about you listening to conversations that you weren't intended to be included in."

As Harry opened his mouth to reply, Remus continued, "Even if it is about you. Is that clear?"

Is this what a parent would sound like, Harry thought? He wasn't sure how he felt about that, even if he did deserve it for eavesdropping on their conversation. "Yes, sir,"

"Okay, now, since you know why I'm here, tell me about that letter. I'm assuming that it was from Cybelle's parents?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said, all the emotions that he felt when he first read the letter coming back to him. "Do you want the good new or the bad news?" Harry asked flippantly.

"Harry, drop the attitude and tell me what is wrong."

"They don't want me." Harry said succinctly, without any emotions behind the words, as he started to pace across the room.

"Apparently they didn't even know that their daughter was pregnant. She returned back from a 'business trip' and presented her parents with a grandchild, without a husband or the child's father in attendance, and refusing to say who the father was. They didn't see or talk to her again. They didn't even attend her funeral when she died a few weeks later. That's why they didn't want me. They didn't know who my father was and because Cybelle refused to tell them, they concluded that it was someone to be ashamed of. They decided that perhaps my father was a muggle, a squib, or even a dark wizard. Without knowing for sure, they were not willing to take a chance on me when she died."

Harry continued to pace, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I was hoping that they didn't seek custody of me because they couldn't handle raising an infant, especially right after losing their daughter. But NnnnOooo," Harry sang, "they were too afraid that I'll turn out to be evil!"

The more Harry talked, the faster he paced and the angrier he got, as he recalled the words his 'grandparents' wrote. He could feel his magic getting out of control like it did three years ago when he accidentally 'blew up' Aunt Marge.

"They figured my father had to be evil to leave their daughter alone and pregnant without a wedding ring. No respectful wizard or even muggle would leave a young woman alone and pregnant, therefore he had to be evil, just using her while she was separated from her family."

At the sound of glass cracking, Remus stood up and quickly walked towards Harry. "Harry, Harry. Calm down." Remus said as he enveloped Harry in a hug, comfortingly stroking Harry's hair like one would to calm a small child. "It's okay. Just relax. Let's try to get your emotions under control. Take a deep breath and relax."

"And go to my happy place." Harry mumbled, laughing. Remus's words reminded him of all the exercises he read about in the school's occlumency books. Soon he was out of Remus's arms and was on the floor, laughing hysterically, all the anger gone.

"Harry," Remus said tentatively, "Are you okay? Should I go get Madam Pomphrey?"

"Oh, Merlin, NO! I'm not going to be in the hospital ward before school even starts," Harry said, erupting into a new fit of laughter at that thought.

"No, I'm fine, Moony." Harry said, taking some deep breaths. "Thanks for trying to calm me down."

"Hmm," Remus said, eyeing Harry, trying to gage how 'fine' he was. "Next time, I think I'll try a calming potion instead, if you don't mind, after seeing you fluctuate between moods so quickly."

"Hey, I'm a teenager, that's what I do." Harry said, beginning to laugh again and then laughed even harder at Remus's expression.

"Honestly, I'm fine." Harry said as he calmed down and got control over his emotions.

"Okay, then," Remus said, "What else did the letter say?"

"Not much. I knew that there was a possibility that they might not want me, but to see it in writing was a shock. I didn't realize how much I wanted a family. How much I was hoping that they would accept me and want me in their life. I had visions of traveling to Sweden to visit them, spending Christmas with them, building memories of my family. It was just disappointing to know that it was never going to happen. It hurts almost as much as when Sirius died." Harry said, thinking that if this is what Snape felt at the loss of his family and his dreams, then the respect he had for the professor just went up another few notches.

"Harry, I'm sorry that it hurts. I wish that there was some way I could prevent you from feeling this pain. But remember, you have family all around you. In me, Hermione, Albus, and the Weasley's. The Weasley's alone are more than enough family for anyone and they think of you as one of their own. You can create memories here, with us. You might not be able to live with us year round or spend much time with us outside of Hogwarts, but when it matters, like family, we will be there."

"Thanks, Remus. I know and I promise that I won't forget." Harry said, his tone taking on a yearning tone, as he continued, "I just wish..."

"You just wish that you at least knew who your father was." Remus concluded, recognizing Harry's tone and the expression on his face.

"Yeah. I'm kind of hoping that there is something in the journal, but after what I read in the letter, I am not sure if I still want to know about my father. I mean, what if they're right and he was just using her?"

"What journal?" Remus asked, confused.

"What? Oh, After Cybelle died, the ministry brought her parents all of her belongings. They threw everything out, including any pictures of me or her. The only thing her mother kept was a journal that Cybelle had written in the last few years of her life. Her mother said she never read it, but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to destroy it. She said it was only right that it was passed on to me."

Remus shook his head, wondering how Harry could forget to mention something like that.

End Chapter 21 accepted and rejected

Upcoming: Chapter 22 going, going, gone

11/16/2004