Note: Hey! This is a NejiTen story. Neji here is kinda perverted. Itachi gives him the book and he uses it on Tenten. Just read,
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
The Stupid Book
Neji and Tenten (sigh)
Gai's team was finished training and his students sat exhaustedly on the ground.
Gai: The youth will always protect you! (strikes his pose)
Lee: (crying) Gai-sensei
Gai: Lee
Lee: GAI-SENSEI!
Gai: LEE
Both run forward and hug themselves to death.
Readers: Eew!
Anonymous reader: Serves them right to die! HAHAHAHA-choke-choke (drinks a glass of water)
Neji and Tenten had disgusted looks in their faces.
Tenten: How gross can they get? (approaches dead bodies of Lee and Gai)
Neji: (picks up their bodies and calls the delivery guy) Send them to Pluto so their thick-browed bodies can be preserved.
Delivery Guy: Right you are sir! (wraps Gai and lee's bodies and hurls them to Pluto)
Tenten: (raised her eyebrow) What's that for?
Delivery Guy: Bye! (disappears)
Neji: That is for their yuckiness.
Tenten: I would've rained them kunais if you didn't send them to Pluto.
Neji: (shrugs) I would've want their faces disfigured for life but Gai and Lee supporters out there will murder us.
Tenten: (sweat drops) You're probably right. I guess I'll go some place else. Far in the deep blue sea…
Neji: Deep blue sea?
Tenten: Yeah. I gotta go and hunt my seven billion three hundred ninety nine million seven hundred seventy eight thousand and four hundred sixty fifth great white shark. (jumps to the deep blue sea)
Neji: no wonder they're becoming extinct. (sighs) how can I ever tell Tenten how I feel?
Itachi appears out of nowhere wearing a brown wig whose hair was tied in a bun and a long violet skirt and an orange long sleeved shirt.
Itachi: Man! This outfit is so hot.
Reader: Itachi, you don't have any fashion sense.
Itachi: I don't? Oh well.
Neji: Holy s. What the f are you doing here you fing baka?
Itachi: (laughs) Sexy Itachi at your service. (bows) Im here to help you about your love problem.
Neji: (eyes narrow) How?
Itachi: Naruto and your cousin married because of me. Shinji was born because of me. Gaara lost his killer side coz of me. Chouji found Kyoko because of me. Love is because of me.
Neji: Just get to the fing point.
Itachi: I wrote a book that is the best seller in a million bookstores nationwide. It's called 'Sexy Itachi's Guide to Love and Romance'. It'll help you with the shark hunter.
Neji: (seems interested) Ok. Help me.
Itachi: (gets a pair of eyeglasses and his book) My, my! I can't read with my Sharingan on. I'll lose my sex appeal if I turn it off so might as well buy glasses.
Neji: Get on and read.
Itachi: (clears throat) So to catch the heart of a tomboyish shark hunter, you've got to charm her. Here's how… (whispers to Neji)
Neji: WTF?
In a sty place…After a training session…
Neji: Tenten, could you stay?
Tenten: You forgot the magic word…
Neji: Fine. (gulps) Please.
Tenten: Okay.
Neji: Do you like a certain guy?
Tenten: (blushes) Y-y-yeah. But I can't tell that I like him.
Neji: You need to admit your feelings for him so you wouldn't feel like a caged bird.
Tenten: (narrows eyes suspiciously) But I thought you were the caged bird?
Neji: (sweat drops) Yeah. Okay. So try and tell me what you want to tell the guy you like.
Tenten: (blushes) I love you.
Neji: (blushes) I love you too.
Tenten: (surprised) How'd you know you were the one?
Neji: By Byakugan.
Tenten: But I didn't see you use Byakugan.
Neji: It's because I love you.
So Neji and Tenten lean and k…
Somewhere over the rainbow…Jiraiya was happily walking down street after completing his thirtieth Icha Icha Paradise.
Jiraiya: Lalalalala
Jiraiya looked around. He grinned when he saw almost all the boys in the street reading books.
Jiraiya: My, my1 I never thought my dear Icha's are so popular.
He looked at the boys and realized that they weren't reading his Icha Icha Books.
Somewhere under the rainbow…A loud shout was heard…
Loud Shout: WHAT THE HELL?
Kakashi: it sounded like Jiraiya… (shrugs and continues reading his Sexy Itachi Books)
A/N: Hey! So I'm finally going to compete Icha Icha and Sexy Itachi's. the next chappy will going to be it's competition. But unfortunately, everybody likes Sexy Itachi's. What book will win? Pls. Vote.
Icha Icha Paradise
OR
Sexy Itachi's Guide to Love and Romance
I'm looking forward to your reviews with votes. Ja ne!