Chapter 3

"But don't you want to know about Yue, Keroberos and Clow? You haven't gotten to the end yet!" Meiling whined the next morning.

"I'd rather not know..maybe I shouldn't have read this thing at all." Syaoran frowned as he practiced forms.

"You are missing out. It will get better in the end..Clow will make more sense to you. You might make more sense to you.." she pouted.

Syaoran snapped up. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, it's just that I know you have been a little depressed since you found out about Sakura and Tomoyo back in Japan, but I know there is a part of you that is oddly calm about the whole thing. I know you Syaoran..you were more distraught when we broke our engagement..not to mention all the time you spent trying to confess to Sakura in the beginning. To have her break up with you now for her best friend and you spend your time reading instead of mourning..well..let's just say you might not understand it now..but you will later. So finish the book!" Meiling said with an urgency to her tone.

Syaoran dug the tip of his sword into the ground, pushing it deeper absently. He folded his arms and rested them on the hilt as his eyes looked thoughtfully at the dirt.

"I don't think I want to know why I am.. the why I am. I'd rather not deal with all of this.." Syaoran huffed.

"I didn't know the great Xiaolang gave up so easily. The one who will lead on the Li Clan gives up as easily as Xiaolin did in Japan?" Meiling taunted.

"Don't EVER compare me to him! Xiaolin gave up his life without a second thought of what might happen to Clow..what Clow would do. The pain he caused was great because he was a coward who couldn't go on living. He never knew how much Clow loved him!" Syaoran spurted out angrily.

"So then why don't you show me you're not a quitter and finish the book?" Meiling said a smirk playing on her face.

"Fine! But I'm doing this to prove you wrong!..Nothing else!" He blurted and with that said he turned heel and ran back to his room, his sword forgotten in the ground.

Meiling walked up the vertical free-standing sword and pulled it out of the ground.
"Learn to let go..right?"

Syaoran burst into his room, pulled up the book from under his bed and flung himself angrily on his sheets. In seconds he had reopened the book and flipped to the last page he had left off at. Resting his chin comfortably on his hand he resumed his reading.

"April 26th,

Today was Xiaolin's funeral.."

"August 2nd

I've felt so alone these past months. I have moved out of my families house and devoted my time to my magic abilities. I have perfected it to the point where today I tried my hand at creating something of my own. So I made a creature companion. I don't really know what he is, but I decided he would be my guardian and my friend. I've named him Keroberos, and in guardian fashion, he is strong and grand looking..but I did give him a friendly personality..kind of takes after me when it comes to silliness. I haven't felt this good in a long time. Perhaps this is my niche. Also I have started delving into accurately predicting the future. Not just the near future but the long term future so that what happened to Xiaolin never happens again. Let's see where my magic goes from here.."

"October 1st,

My family has started realizing that I am getting older and older. They are starting to ask me if I will ever marry. The thought of marriage only reminds me of Xiaolin and his fate, it's not something I think I will ever want to do. Keroberos has been growing in personality and curiosity. He also wonders what I'm so secretive about, but he does bring great joy into my life. Just giving him baths with my bubble card is enough to throw me into giggles. Still, life in China too near to my inquisitive family is weighing on me. I have considered moving to Japan and setting up my permanent home there. I want to be in the land where my Xiaolin died..where his spirit still walks. Besides I want to test out my magic further..especially since Keroberos has been feeling a little lonely and I don't want them around to see how far my magic has gone..besides I suppose he needs a brother of some type. Or maybe..I need something more.."

Syaoran raised an eyebrow. "I think I know where this is heading.."

"February 28,

'You can't stay there all alone Clow' my aunt had told me, when I told her I was leaving. Of course I told her I wasn't alone, that Keroberos was with me. It took forever to convince them that I needed to go off on my own, I convienently left out the reason why I chose Japan however. And now..here I am settling into the small town of Tomoeda. I haven't visited Xiaolin's widow. I heard she re-married, but Xiaolin has left her with a child. Either way this mansion is so large..with only Keroberos and I..it seems so empty. Today Keroberos asked me again if I would make another companion. Then he told me something that kind of got to me. He said I looked lonelier than he did. Perhaps it was his way of telling me that I should let go of the past. Maybe the time has come. I think I'll begin with that little experiment of mine."