Third Act
Further to my previous note, I have now learned that what I mistook for colloquial youth-speak in Billy Shakespeare's work is in fact archaic, medieval English. I guess he really loved to play with language like that… Check out his poetry!
On a different note, Harry Potter, his friends, enemies, teachers, and everyone and everything else he tends to encounter belong to J.K. Rowling and not to me.
When Ginny left the Transfiguration classroom, she was surprised to find Cho Chang waiting for her.
"Ginny, can I have a word please?"
"Sure, what's this about?"
"Harry, of course, what else. Listen – you fancy him, right?"
"I don't fancy Harry, I love him with all my heart! I know he only has eyes for you, but I will never stop loving him!"
"Yes, well, that's all very well… As I was saying, you fancy him. I don't. Trouble is, he just doesn't take the hint and keeps pursuing me. Cedric and I haven't had a private moment all week."
"I know, I've been pursuing him all week. Harry, I mean…"
"So we were wondering… We would like to have some private time in the rose garden tomorrow night. Do you think you could distract Harry for a while so we can slip away without him noticing?"
"I will do my best to distract him with my feminine wiles."
"Erm, sure… do that… Thank you."
In an unused classroom in the dungeons, Professor Snape addressed a handful of Slytherin students.
"The Headmaster has expressed his concern that the standing of Slytherin House with the other Houses has reached an all-time low. He attributes this deterioration of our House's noble reputation largely to the conduct of those present."
"Why would we care what the other Houses think of us?" Draco Malfoy snorted derisively. The other students nodded.
"I do not care one iota what the other Houses think. However, I do care when the Headmaster feels the need to involve himself directly in the matters of Slytherin House. And the easiest way to prevent this is not to attract his attention in the first place."
"So what are we supposed to do about it then? Become a bunch of Hufflepuff goody two-shoes?" Flint asked with a sneer.
"Nothing of the sort, Mr Flint. We are going to stage a play at the Yule ball. It will demonstrate our commitment to the school as a whole and defuse some of the ill feelings the other Houses currently harbour towards us." Snape declared.
"You can't be serious, Professor!" cried Theodore Nott.
"I most assuredly am, because the Headmaster is. And you better play along nicely, Mr Nott. If the headmaster is displeased with me, I assure you I will know exactly where to turn to vent my own displeasure. Have I made myself clear?"
"Very clear, Professor" Malfoy replied as the group of students nodded sulkily.
"Um, Professor Snape?"
"Yes, Mr Goyle?"
"Can I play a lion? I like lions."
"Mr Goyle, as much as the Headmaster would treasure such a statement from your mouth, I do not believe that there is need for a lion in the play I have envisioned."
"Oh" Goyle replied with a disappointed look on his face.
"We will stage the tragedy of Helena Ravenclaw and the Bloody Baron" Snape declared "Mr Malfoy, you will play the Bloody Baron."
"Well, at least I get an appropriately aristocratic role. I think the Baron and I have a lot in common. A certain air, a graceful stride… I will be the perfect nobleman."
"You will be a blood-splattered murderer."
"Yes, and that, of course."
"You, Mr Crabbe, will play Helena, Rowena Ravenclaw's daughter."
"WHAT!?" Malfoy and Crabbe shouted in unison.
"You heard me right."
"But, Professor,… Can't I play both roles? I mean, Helena was a noblewoman… I'd be perfect for that role! The air, the graceful stride… And if I do it in a high-pitched voice… Like this…"
With those last words, Malfoys voice had risen about two octaves. Judging by the pained faces of the others, they did not enjoy the display.
"I don't know anything about noble people. And I don't want to be a woman." Crabbe sulked.
Snape decided to ignore him and move on.
"The scene we will act out is the couple's final confrontation in the Albanian forest. Mr Flint, you will play the forest."
Flint decided that there was no point in arguing and just nodded dumbly, beginning to wonder whether this might all just be a horrendous nightmare.
"The murder of Helena happened in a moonlit glade deep within the forest. Mr Nott, you will play the moon."
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Nott asked, perplexed.
"We could just get the enchanted ceiling to display a full moon" Malfoy suggested.
"You will represent anthropomorphised moon, a man-in-the-moon" Snape answered, ignoring Malfoy's suggestion.
"Fine" huffed Nott "And what about Goyle? He doesn't have a role yet?"
"Ah, erm, Mr Goyle could perhaps play an Albanian villager?"
"I want to be a lion" Goyle replied.
"Yes, I think a villager would fit into the play nicely" Snape answered himself, again ignoring the muttering.
"But I don't know no lines and all, and I don't even speak Albanian" Goyle whined.
They had now spent close to half an hour in the unused classroom and Professor Snape felt a headache beginning to rise from all the bickering.
"Fine, Mr Goyle is a lion! One of the famous Albanian lions that we have all heard so much of…"
"Have we?" asked Crabbe.
"No, you dunderhead! There are no lions in Albania, but Mr Goyle wants to play one and I want to get all of you out of my sight, so he will be a lion! We will practise tomorrow night in the rose garden where no one can see us. Now get lost, the lot of you!"
"In that case, can I play a male Helena?"
"Can I play Helena, too?"
"Do we really need a forest? I don't mind sitting this one out…"
"How am I supposed to represent the moon?"
"ROOOOOOAAAAR!"
"OUT! EVERYBODY OUT!"
Fred and George exchanged a quick look before knocking on the door of the Charms classroom.
"Come in" Professor Flitwick called from within.
"Ah, success already?" he asked when he looked up from the parchment he had been studying and noticed the two redheads that had entered the room.
"We were lucky."
"We just wanted to scout the area when Professor Snape suddenly left his office in a hurry, mumbling something about a 'bloody circus play'."
"Must have been seriously upset about something, didn't even lock the door."
"Well, congratulations to both of you – I presume you got the potion? Excellent!"
The twins handed over a small crystal flask which he quickly pocketed before pausing and retrieving it.
"I wonder… Could I ask another favour of you two…"
"Sure, Professor."
"Anything we can do to help, as long as it's not legal."
"Here, let me… Hold on a second…" He decanted a small amount of the potent liquid into a second flask which he held out for the twins to take. "If you could slip this into the drink of our young Triwizard champion. Just make sure that the first person he sees after swallowing the potion is your sister Ginny."
"It will be our pleasure, Professor."
As they left the Charms classroom Fred turned to George.
"I had no idea that Flitwick is so full of mischief! Getting Diggory to fall in love with Ginny – I mean, even we wouldn't have thought of that one…"
"I wonder whether he might be one of the Marauders…"
"Harry? Harry!" Ginny called.
"What is it, Ginny? Please don't let it be another of your horrendous poems! And that includes songs!"
"No, Harry, I've got some information that might interest you. But first I want a kiss."
"In your wildest dreams! I don't even know whether that information is true or really interesting."
"A hug? Just a quick one? It's information about Cho…"
"Fine. First your information and then a very quick hug. As friends."
"As friends. Ok. My information is – can't we do the hug first?"
"No, first the information, then the hug."
"Ok, ok… Cho and Cedric are planning to meet up in the rose garden tomorrow night and they want me to distract you so they can slip away without you stalking them."
"I see… thanks for letting me know, Ginny… This requires some proper planning..."
"But first you have to hug me."
"I don't have time for that right now, remind me later."
"I knew I should have insisted" grumbled Ginny as Harry walked away without a backward glance.