All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Companion to our demons
They will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
Making darkness in the day
It will be easy to look in or out
Upstream or down without a thought
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Peace in the struggle
To find peace
Comfort on the way
To comfort
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
I won't fear love
I won't fear love...

Sarah McLachlan –"Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"

Cranky was going stir crazy sitting in this office alone. The office looked basic, like a cop's office, but at the same time it was richly furnished, almost formal. His street instincts told him to get out of here, or in the least search around for something of value to steal. But these were the instincts he was going to have to start fighting if he really wanted this new life Cammy was dangling before his eyes. Now there was an enigma. The woman was simply infatuating. It was like something felt wrong when he wasn't touching her, and with her constantly pulling away from him this morning, everything had felt wrong. He was uneasy. Maybe it was he didn't understand his own feelings for her. Sure, she'd been a great lay, he'd had plenty of those in his lifetime, but it was the other times. It was way she'd offered him help, fully, honestly, holding nothing back. It was the strength he saw in her ready to crack and destroy everything around her. It was how she hid her feelings but wore them on her face. It was her extremes. It was simply her. She was in his head and wouldn't get out.

Suddenly the door to the office burst open. Cranky popped to standing in an instant, mostly to cover the fact he'd been briefly frightened. A large man barreled through the door with Cammy in tow. He met Cranky's gaze and dropped Cammy's wrist as he moaned.

"What now?"

Cranky stepped forward trying to ignore Cammy rubbing her wrist behind this man and held his hand out.

"Craig Crankurt. I'm assuming you're Colonel Wolfman?"

Wolfman shook Cranky's hand and dropped it as he looked back at Cammy, who instantly started to explain.

"Colonel—"

He yelled.

"NO! No, no, no, NO! You get out and I'll deal with this."

Cammy protested gently but soon the door was slammed in her face and locked. Cranky was alone with a very angry Colonel. After a moment, Wolfman motioned for him to sit down as he himself, took a seat. Wolfman then spoke.

"So to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I need your help."

"Join the club."

"No. I mean, I have to confess."

"Then go to the police, I don't have any time for this."

Wolfman stood to leave the room and Cranky blurted.

"It has to do with Shadowlaw!"

Wolfman stopped in his tracks. Cranky hadn't wanted to reveal that he knew he was dealing with the organization, but knowing very well what MI-6's purpose was, he knew it'd get his point across. Wolfman spoke slowly.

"What do you know?"

"Names, places, you know, all the good stuff."

"And what do you want in return?"

"Protection."

"Not immunity?"

"I haven't done anything illegal, at least not to the good guys."

"Which means you…"

"They gave me ten thousand dollars to close a deal with some weapons traders."

"And you?"

"Kept it."

"You do need protection."

Wolfman looked lost in thought for a moment before he began again.

"What is Cammy to you?"

Cranky was nervous for a moment before he laughed it off.

"I don't know really. You see—"

"Say no more. Did you tell her it was Shadowlaw you were involved with?"

"No, why?"

"Whatever you do, don't tell her."

"Ooookay. Anything else?"

"Yeah, I'll have to have an official documented meeting with you to get all these names and places. I'm assuming you are staying with Cammy, so just stay put. I'll contact you through her."

"Sounds good."

He stood and Cranky followed suit. Wolfman pulled a file out of a drawer behind him and handed it to Cranky.

"One more thing Craig."

"Yeah?"

"Treat her right."

Wolfman left the room and Cranky heard him giving Cammy directions. He looked at the file Wolfman had given him before he tucked it into his bag. It was labeled Camilla White.

--

"Oh God! Please, you've gotta help me!"

Tears fell from her eyes with every syllable she screamed as she pulled away from the man who had her in his grips. He was just too strong. She was pulling towards the girl she saw; the only person who looked as if she had a soul. It was total intuition, but Juli knew, like herself, this girl didn't belong here. This girl wasn't one of them. Yet there she stood, rigid and cold, green eyes unmoving and uninterested as she looked on. The man holding Juli spoke to the girl.

"She struggles much the same way you did, Camilla."

Camilla didn't react physically, but her eyes changed before they shifted away. That slight breach in emotion was the last thing Juli saw before the blue light ended everything.

Juli woke on the floor of her room, or her prison. She was sweating and panting loudly. Had she been screaming out loud? It didn't matter; she had a name now. They'd have to believe her. Camilla. Someone here had seen her then. Someone here had to know exactly what had happened to her. Everyone had been saying that she had to remember, that she was the only one who knew what happened. But Camilla was there. Juli saw her, Camilla had seen her. Nothing else mattered right now except talking to Camilla.

--

Cammy didn't speak to Cranky the entire walk home. Her mind was overflowing with new memories. Just when she thought she had remembered everything, something like this happened. Her dream had been right on. She had been involved with Shadowlaw at the same time as Juli. Briefly, but still, they had crossed paths. Cammy wanted to cry knowing she had stood there while a little girl was victim to the same cruel fate as she herself was. For God's sake, Juli had been screaming for help! Cammy had screamed for help. Just when she thought something was coming together in her life, it all fell apart. Julian was dead, her job was on the rocks, and she was falling in love with a man she couldn't have.

The very same man who Wolfman had told her to not take her eyes off of. Cammy didn't understand such caution for a petty thief in trouble with some thugs, but Wolfman was the boss. The bad news… Cranky was getting under her skin. She liked him around and hadn't noticed that he'd been holding her hand for the past four blocks. She was compelled by her better judgment to pull away, but didn't. It was comforting; it felt right, even though she knew it was wrong. It was wrong to condemn a man like Cranky to loving someone who would destroy him. His voice broke her thoughts as they approached her front door.

"Okay, so what's going on?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You haven't said a word to me."

"Do I have to talk?"

"No, but you usually do."

"Well I just had a fight with my boss. I always have a fight with Colonel Wolfman."

Cammy pushed past Cranky and into her apartment. Cranky followed close behind speaking.

"Don't worry about it. You're back in good with him, right?"

"I think so."

"So there you are. All you can do now is relax."

"Relax? I don't think I've ever relaxed a day in my life."

"Well there's not a better time than the present."

Before she could protest, Cranky had scooped her into his arms and laid her across the couch. He took her shoes and socks off and placed them by the door as he questioned.

"Can I call out for food?"

Cammy nodded. Cranky left the room to order and came back without his shirt on. Lust flooded Cammy instantly. She attempted to stand, to avoid him at all cost, but he softly pushed her back down and sat with her feet in his lap. He chided her.

"I told you to relax."

"I am relaxing."

Cranky narrowed his eyes at her before he spoke.

"Then close your eyes."

She did as he asked and he began rubbing her feet. He jumped a little at his initial touch but soon relaxed and he could feel the tension leave her. He'd never been this intimate with a woman. It had always been wham-bam-thank you ma'am. But he wanted Cammy; all of her, from her toes to her head. After a few more minutes he dropped her feet and crawled across the sofa, across Cammy. Her eyes were still closed and Cranky spoke as he touched her cheek.

"Open you eyes."

They were so green and showed into her soul. She'd never be a good liar with eyes like these. But Cranky didn't want a liar, he wanted her. He stared at her for a long moment, feeling his coarse fingers on her soft cheek. Finally she spoke.

"Just kiss me."

His instinct was to fall into the kiss like a madman starved for water. But he held on to his emotions and gently pressed his lips to hers. His restraint proved worth it when he heard Cammy sigh softly. As their kiss deepened Cranky held her face to his and she rubbed her hands down his back creating a sensation that sent shivers down his spine. Cranky broke their kiss only to look at her face again and see her eyes, now laced with a lust he was sure was reflected in his own eyes. He wanted her, all of her, badly.

Cammy could hardly breathe as she looked up at Cranky. His light green eyes told her exactly what he wanted to do to her, yet he was being gentle, waiting for her signal. A signal her better judgment told her not to make. Screw my better judgment. She'd deal with not falling in love with Cranky tomorrow morning. Right now nothing could stop her. No amount of tormenting thoughts of unrequited love could stop her. She spoke.

"I want you Craig Crankurt."

His smile was all the answer she needed. Within a few moments, both had stripped out of their respective clothing and returned to their previous position, now nude. Cammy reached up and pulled Cranky's into a kiss. He adjusted his body and pushed inside of her, never letting her break their kiss. Cammy heard the doorbell ring, but again Cranky didn't let her break the kiss. When she finally managed to he was still moving inside of her. She was hardly able to pant.

"The door…dinner…"

He answered.

"Don't leave me now. Everyone leaves me."

That was it. The door was forgotten along with everything outside of their love making. Cammy wanted to touch every part of his body but couldn't with just two hands. They held tight to each other, increasing their pace.

Cranky gave himself to Cammy with an intensity he'd not given a woman before, burying himself deep inside her only to pull out slowly and thrust again. His entire world, his every breath and heartbeat, was focused on the woman in his arms. They peaked together, in perfect rhythm with each other. Before he could stop himself, Cranky sighed into Cammy's ear.

"I love you."

Thankfully she answered.

"I love you, too."