Chapter 12: Revelation

Harry was on such a high from his date that his mood did not change as the week began again, even when Tuesday rolled around and it was time for his weekly Occlumency lesson with Snape.

Actually, ever since the Quidditch match against Slytherin, lessons with Snape hadn't been bad at all, much to Harry's surprise. There had been no insults, no name calling, no belittling of any kind. Of course, this made it easier for Harry to concentrate on getting the lessons done instead of spending his time thinking of cruel and unusual ways to get back at Snape. Still, the abrupt change in attitude was a shock. Harry was even starting to have a hard time feeling any animosity to a softie Snape, which was rather alarming to him.

When Harry stepped into Snape's office, Snape was sitting at his desk, as usual, with the picture frame in his hands. This time though, he seemed even sadder than before. His head snapped up with a start as Harry entered.

"Are you early?" Snape asked distractedly as he hastily shoved the picture into his desk drawer and slammed it shut.

"No sir," Harry answered, shaking his head.

"Oh...well..." Snape pulled out a silver pocketwatch to verify Harry's answer and then reached for his wand on his desk as he stood up. He stopped and stared at his wand for a few moments as the sides of his mouth started to twitch. He seemed to be having a harder time pulling himself together this evening. "Excuse me," Snape said gruffly and quickly stepped out of the office, leaving Harry alone.

Harry watched the door close behind Snape and turned back to the desk. I wonder what that picture is, he thought. He paused a moment, remembering what happened the last time he snooped in Snape's office. Well, this isn't like the Pensieve, Harry reasoned. It's just a picture. I can take a quick peek.

After one last glance at the door, Harry snuck around to the back of the desk. The drawer with the picture in it was open about an inch, and he could see a little movement inside. Harry slowly eased the drawer open and peered inside. He gasped.

Inside was a framed picture of Harry's mother.

She couldn't have been more than fifteen years old. She was sitting next to the Hogwarts lake talking animatedly to someone on her right. Her almond-shaped green eyes sparkled as she smiled and laughed. A gentle breeze was blowing her shimmering dark-red hair back from her shoulders. She is so beautiful, Harry thought as he picked up the picture.

"What do you think you're doing?" Harry's head snapped up to see Snape in the doorway looking very shocked. He swooped around the desk to snatch the picture out of Harry's hands.

It was at that moment though that Harry realized whose desk his mother's picture was in. He glanced at the picture, then back to Snape. He wanted answers. "Why do you have a picture of my Mum?" Harry demanded as he held it out of Snape's reach.

Snape whipped out his wand and pointed it straight at Harry's face. "That is no concern of yours, boy," he snarled. "Now give me that picture, you nosy, obnoxious, accursed little--"

Harry held his ground. "This is my mother!" he yelled back. "What are you doing with a picture of her?"

Harry and Snape glared at each other for a few moments before the sides of Snape's mouth started twitching again and the sadness slowly returned to his eyes. He lunged at Harry, snatched back the picture, and turned to face the wall. Harry stayed where he was and stared at Snape's back as his anger receded a little.

"Sit down Potter," Snape suddenly said. Harry quickly skirted around the desk and sat in the chair in front of it. Snape faced the wall a few moments more and sighed before sitting down and laying the picture on the desk. He stared at the picture as he began:

"I met her during my first year here at Hogwarts. A few kids thought it would be funny to flush my head in a toilet and were dragging me to the bathroom when she saw us. Lily--" he paused a moment to collect himself. "Lily told them off for being mean to me. They threw me at her feet and left. She helped me up, made sure I was alright, and carried on.

"She probably didn't give the incident another thought, but it was the first time in my life that anyone had smiled at me and shone any concern for my well-being. As we continued our education I watched her, and I developed...a great admiration...for her intelligence, her kindness, and--her beauty." Snape tapped a finger on the picture. "I took this picture at the end of our fourth year. I snuck behind a bush near the lake to take it. Chances are she didn't even know it exists.

"But she was a Muggleborn, a fact my housemates made known to me after I met her. They constantly talked about how much they despised her and ridiculed her every chance they got. She took it very well--never let them break her spirit. But I was under a lot of peer pressure, and while I didn't participate in these actions, I did nothing to stop them. I mean, whoever heard of a Slytherin defending a Gryffindor, and a filthy Muggleborn Gryffindor at that? No one knew how I really felt about her.

"Then at the end of fifth year, Potter and his friends decided to have a little show right after the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. As usual, Lily came over and tried to stop them. As I laid there at the mercy of their wands, anger boiled up inside me--anger at Potter and his gang, anger at my housemates--anger at everyone. And at that moment, I was angry at Lily too for being so hideously kind to me so that I couldn't hate her the way I was supposed to hate Muggleborns. I yelled at her and called her a Mudblood, and from that moment she turned her back on me. She never helped me again.

"It was a little easier to despise her afterward, but deep down I knew it was my fault that she stopped defending me and I couldn't completely let go of my affections. Then, during our seventh year, I was going to the library late one evening. That was when I saw Lily and Potter kissing in the hallway where I saw you and Miss Weasley earlier this year. Seeing her there, kissing the one boy I hated most in the entire school, turned me against her completely. From that moment I loathed everything about her.

"I completely immersed myself in the philosophies and activities of my friends without hesitation. When the Dark Lord began his ascent to power, I joined with the rest of them and became a Death Eater. Every fiber of my being was devoted to the cause we pursued.

"Then one night--I don't even remember what my mission was--I came face to face with Lily again. We dueled, and I got the better of her. She fell back, her wand flying from her hand, and as her robes fanned out I noticed the growing bump on her stomach. I knew she was married to Potter now, and realizing his child was growing inside of her intensified my hatred for him--and for her. I walked slowly up to her, savoring the revenge I was about to have. I was just about to strike when she gasped and called me by name. I still don't know how she recognized me with my mask on. Then my eyes met hers.

"They say that when a woman is with child, she is the most beautiful person you could ever see. At that moment, it was like I was seeing her again for the first time. Her eyes, surprised but unafraid, sparkled, and her skin glowed in the moonlight as the wind blew her silky hair back from her shoulders. Seeing her like this reawakened emotions I had buried years ago and the hatred I had built up for her all those years melted away to nothing. My wand fell useless from my hand and I crumpled to the ground and cried.

"That was when I joined the Order of the Phoenix. Potter never seemed to trust me, and quite frankly, I didn't trust him either. However, I still cared for Lily, and those feelings made me stay with the Order. The night she was killed I was devastated, and any lingering thoughts I might have had to return to the Dark Lord's ranks disappeared."

Snape finally looked up from the picture and studied Harry intently. "When you came to this school, you looked so much like Potter that it was so easy to just think of you as his son and believe that you would be exactly like him. There were times when Dumbledore actually had to stop and remind me of how important you are to the future of our world.

"But then I saw you that day in the hallway with Miss Weasley and I flashed back to that moment when I saw Potter--and Lily--in that same hallway so many years ago. That moment--it reminded me; you're not just Potter's son. You're Lily's son too." Snape lowered his head and buried his face in his hands.

Harry stared at Snape; this man he had grown to dislike for five and a half years. He looked at the picture on the desk of a girl so full of life and love and completely unaware of what the future held in store for her. He had nothing to say.