Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., her publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life.
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My baby is growing nicely these days. I decided to name her Lucy, after her dead grandfather.
Right now Lucy is happily suckling my temporary breasts, green eyes open and swarming with life. I wish I could remember being so innocent.
No, I've never been innocent, a victim of society I was forced to be mean and ruthless, even as a toddler. It doesn't matter now though, I will live the life I've always wanted through her. She is my last hope for sanity.
I make the mistake of looking into her eyes as her tiny hand tightens around my breast. It reminds me of him. His eyes. His perfect body.
It makes me think about that night. I see his eyes half-closed and his mouth half-open as he ruthlessly pounds into my arse, sending me over the edge with pleasure that I only thought possible in fantasy novels. He collapses, he lays his head on the middle of my chest, he sighs, he dresses, and he leaves.
... He leaves...
Sans me parler
Sans me regarder.
I never see him again.
But, it doesn't hurt. No, I've become to numb for it to hurt.
"Mmm?" Lucy inquires. She's very protective of her heartbroken father.
"Shh, finish your breakfast," I state in a whisper, she does just that. I wonder if he'll ever come back, if only for her.
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"It's been a year," I whisper to the man sitting across from me. "She's three months now..."
"I know Draco," Severus Snape whispers back. He's been my only supporter through all of this. After Pansy, Greg, Vince, and Blaise died, I had no one left. Mom and Dad were taken by the Auror's. It hurts, no matter how much they deserved it...
"I miss him," I whisper, dropping my head to the child that is asleep on my shoulder.
"I know Draco." I nod my head and pull my sleeping child closer to me. I really miss him...
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It's been a year... A year since I've seen him. I wonder if he's found someone new yet. Rumor has it he's shacked up with some girl named "Lucy." What kind of a name is Lucy?
"It's been a year," I whisper to my dear friend Remus Lupin. He's been my only supporter since... that day...
"I know, Harry."
"I miss him, Remus."
"I know, Harry." I nod to him as I lie my head on a nearby pillow, contemplating my options. Is it worth (possible) complete embarrassment, just to see if he still loves me?
But I already know the answer to that, it's just working up the courage that's a pain.
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"It's been two years," I whisper to my darling child. She's gotten so beautiful. She's barely walking and already she'd bound on getting as far away from me as she can.
Just like everyone else.
Mom and Dad are back, though they aren't exactly "back." The Auror's completely erased their memories, they are as helpful as a tiger moth in a pond right now. I had to hire three people just to watch them.
Severus has abandoned me. I don't know why, he just left one day, sans me parler. I wonder why everyone is leaving me so suddenly now-a-days. I used to be so popular and well liked. Now, I have two mental parents and a daughter that prefers to be as far away from daddy as possible.
I can't take it anymore...
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It's been five years... I still don't have the courage to see him. Remus left me a long time ago. Now I'm all alone. All alone with nothing but memories.
I stay as isolated as possible. I don't care much for company after the war, makes me too jumpy...
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She goes to school this year... Oh my Lucy, now you're going to leave me too?
What did I do to deserve this?
Sure I was a bully in school, but no one's perfect, right?
It's been hard these last eleven years, not trying to think about Him, keeping her in the dark about her "other" parent. She doesn't seem to mind. She doesn't even seem to care. She's just like HIM. I can't even say His name anymore, all it does it bring a fresh wave of tears up.
I hear something... Lucy, she's talking to someone via the fire place.
"...No, not really. I'm getting tired of him, really," was the first statement Draco heard.
"So you won't miss him at school?" the faceless person asked.
"Definitely not, it'll be a relief to get away from his sulking arse," Lucy bit back.
"Oh.. That's cold Lucy, that's cold," the person said.
"YOU don't have to live with him, just yesterday..." But Draco could take no more.
My heart...
It hurts...
Oh Harry, what have you DONE to me?
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Eleven years... It took the old coot ELEVEN years to find me, now he wants me to teach. Wonderful. But, being the manipulative bastard he is, I agreed. Oh well. At least it's only flying.
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She's gone... Gone to school...
I'm alone.
I hate being alone.
"Goodbye cruel world," I whisper to the darkness.
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"Mr. Harry J. Potter?" the man in the blue and white robes asks me.
"Yes, that's me," I reply.
"I'm here to tell you that your daughter needs to be picked up, she's at the train station, her father killed herself earlier on in the year, we only found him last week," the officer stated tonelessly.
"My... m-my what?" I ask.
"Your daughter... My gosh, you didn't know?" the officer asked, suddenly interested in the conversation. "It was one of the biggest scandals eleven years ago! You couldn't have NOT heard!"
"Well, I've been here since the day I defeated Voldemort," the officer winced at the name, "so I have not had any human contact since," Harry stated coldly. Well, Remus wasn't exactly human after all... Then there was that teaching thing.
"Her name is Lucy Malfoy, she recently...are you okay?" he asked me. My mouth was wide open, LUCY MALFOY? His BEST student last year? Wow. Wait... MALFOY? Oh God, Draco...
"Draco... Malfoy... Died?" I whisper.
"Yes, sir," he replied quietly.
"How?" I croak out.
"Suicide. No note, just the word "alone" over his chest, nothing more," the officer suddenly looked uncomfortable.
"Thank you," I say and shut the door... Only to have the officer stop it with his foot.
"The girl," he states.
"Oh.. Right..."
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It's been seven years, Lucy has effectively become the bane of everyone's existence, including mine, and I am at ropes edge. Dumbledore passed away two years ago, Lucy was too much for him to handle, he finally just gave up.
As for me, I'm about to join Draco... I hope...
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A/n: in a bit of a dark mood today... I know, short and crappy.