As he raises his hand you begin to understand
That no love is worth the hate that you feel
Now you're running out of pain
And all these feelings feel the same
So you close your eyes and wish it all away

And I lie awake and I try to say
Anything I know just to ease your pain
But you hide away where no one can see
And it's only you that can set you free

Now the time has come again
So you reach deep down within
To find the strength that you have buried there
As you turn to walk away you can still hear him say
You'll never make it in this world alone

You try to fight (you try to fight)
You hide the pain (you hide the pain)
You walk away (never again)

12 Stones "Running Out Of Pain"

-

Wiping condensation off of her bathroom mirror, Cammy looked at herself seriously as she began to braid her hair. Keep your head on straight. Her reflection was still somewhat clouded as she stared. The next few days were going to be huge. Bison was weak; Juli had clearly recalled that fact to her. Juli had even remembered him going through radical and bizarre procedures at his weakest points, which had been coming more and more often. The time to strike was now, while he was down, while he was weak like a child. Like me and Juli were she thought bitterly. Delta Red was meeting at 0500 hours to go over mission procedures. She had this evening to prepare, but had yet to tell Cranky. He'd left her alone to shower while he grabbed a bite to eat. Cammy couldn't imagine eating, just the thought of food made her queasy. But that was usual for her before big missions. All she was really worried about now was Cranky not freaking out. This was her job after all. Yet every time she got close to someone, something happened to screw it up. All her old wounds were still raw. She wasn't too sure what she felt for Cranky, but she somehow knew she couldn't take being hurt by him. He'd just have to understand.

Cammy sighed and left the safe solitude of the bathroom to tell Cranky about the mission. He stood waiting for her in the living room. Immediately he came towards her and pulled her into a tight hug. Cammy laughed as she spoke.

"I was only gone for twenty minutes."

Cranky pulled away slightly from the hug and grabbed the sides of her face before he kissed her. It was soft and sweet. He took a care in the kiss that Cammy had never felt before. Her stomach became tight with need for him. He pulled away, letting his hand linger on the scar on her left cheek and smiled as he spoke.

"I'm not allowed to miss you?"

Cammy felt guilty all of the sudden. She stepped forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead. She had to tell him, it was now or never.

"I got my job back."

"So it worked?"

"Yeah. You know, it's like with newspaper reporters…we got a lead and now we've got to follow it."

"What's with the analogy?"

"Cranky, I know you're not stupid and I'm not going to treat you like you are. You've seen me…the scars, the gashes, the bruises…you know what my job entails."

"Yeah, so you're back to work. Big deal."

"That's the thing, it is. There's a really big mission leaving at five o'clock in the morning tomorrow.

"Big as in?"

"We're launching an assault on the terrorist organization, Shadowlaw."

His eyes grew wide suddenly before his entire face went stern. He spoke.

"No."

"No what?"

"You're not going."

Cammy laughed as she pulled away from him.

"I'm not going huh? And you're going to stop me?"

Cranky grabbed her wrist tightly and spoke.

"Yes."

They stood like that, with him holding her wrist, for a long moment before Cammy roughly pulled her arm away, making her strength apparent.

"You have no right to say that."

Cranky yelled.

"God dammit Cammy, they're going to hurt you again!"

Cammy whispered.

"Again?"

Cranky kept his face firm but his eyes gave way to hid guilt as he spoke.

"Don't you see I care about you?"

"No, no. Don't pull that. What did you mean again?"

Cranky shifted his eyes to a folder on the coffee table and Cammy quickly grabbed it. Upon opening it she discovered it was her file. Everything that had ever been documented about her was here. She felt her anger rising as she read through the documents. After she finished, she closed the folder calmly and looked at Cranky. He spoke.

"I don't want Vega to hurt you again."

"He can't."

"You're not invincible."

Cammy roughly threw the folder at Cranky's head. Papers flew everywhere as she yelled.

"He can't hurt me because I killed him! I stabbed him in his black heart and felt his blood on my hands. I watched the life drain from his face and felt happy. Oh God, I was happy! Did my file tell you that, Cranky? You didn't think you knew everything about me just from reading that file did you? Did you think that this folder, these pages, held everything?"

Cranky was silent a moment before he answered.

"Of course not. But it doesn't change the fact that, in your case, this is too dangerous. Vega isn't the only one who harmed you."

Cammy crossed her arms across her chest.

"So you know it all now, huh? Well tell me this, what about the other eleven girls this happened to? Do we just leave them to the dogs? Let them live in that hell?"

Cranky rubbed his hands down Cammy's shoulders as he spoke.

"No, but why does it have to be you?"

"Have you ever been driven to do something? It's like you have to do it, no matter what it takes. I owe it to them."

"You don't owe anyone anything."

"Don't I?"

"No."

"I don't know what in your life has led you to think that, but I'm sorry for you."

"Then don't go, please. Stay with me."

"I'm going and once this is through I'll be here. I do care about you and I know you care about me. So you can either stay with me here tonight and deal, or you can leave."

"You asked me if I knew what it was like to be driven to do something. You're that for me, Cammy."

"If you can just wait until I finish this, I'll be here. I'll be who you need; I'll be there for you."

"No one has ever been there for me. Thanks for reminding me of that. I've always been fine on my own."

"Cranky…"

Cranky spoke as he turned around, heading for the door.

"And you, Cammy…you'll never make it in this world alone."

Cammy stood in shocked silence as the door slammed behind Cranky. She felt tears welling up in her eyes but forced her jaw tight. She was strong and had been doing fine with life on her own. He was the one who came in and screwed everything up. Kneeling down she began to pick up the papers from her file as a sob escaped from her throat. Suddenly she felt nauseated and ran for the bathroom. There was nothing in her stomach to throw up. So she dry heaved, her tears being the only things that fell into the water.

-