Living risky,
never scared, wander
Closer to the edge
Nothing valued think no fear,
Always wondering why you're here
All your purposes are gone, nothing's
Right and nothing's wrong
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Feel no sorrow, feel no pain.
Kiss me while I'm still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms,
Let me live and let me learn
Now I'll follow my own way, and I'll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice,
Remember when this was my life?
Looking forward, not behind
Everybody's got to cross that line
Free me now to give me a place,
Keep me caged and free the beast
Falling faster, time goes by,
Fear is not seen through these eyes
What there was will never be,
Now I'm blind and cannot see.
Kiss me while I'm still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms, let me
Live and let me learn
Now I'll follow my own way, and I'll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice,
Remember when this was my life?
3 Doors Down—"Life on My Own" (A repeat from chapter one…but with good reason.)
Cammy covered her ears but made sure to keep her eyes wide open. She loved this as did Wagner. It was kind of something they'd slowly come to do together…she couldn't even remember when it started, but it had slowly become a sort of tradition they fulfilled whenever they were together. Especially since they'd been so far apart. It was a perfectly clear night and Cammy could see the entire span of starry sky above her and Wagner. With their backs flat on the runway they had perfect seats for when the F-15's flew over, their jet fuel creating a trail of bright blue light that illuminated as far as they could see. After the plane passed Wagner scooted closer to Cammy as they awaited the next routine take-off from the Air Force Base. He spoke.
"I like him."
"You know, me too."
"The thing is…I'm a little scared."
"Scared?"
"Don't put everything into him. It's too risky and it could end up so bad."
"This is it Wagner. I really feel it. He knows everything, and he's still here."
"He doesn't know everything Cammy."
"He knows everything that matters. My miscarriage has no barring on our relationship…it happened and now it's over. I can be careful now, it won't happen again. At least not until we want it to."
"It's your choice and I understand it…but the thing is…all he could do was help you."
"I'm fine Wagner, really."
Wagner grabbed her hand.
"You'll be fine."
They sat in silence for another moment before Wagner spoke again.
"I'm done with the Air Force."
"I figured it would only be a matter of time."
"Yeah, Guile doesn't know."
"He won't care."
"I know, and if he did, he'd still respect my decision."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Well actually, I've got two months until graduation."
Cammy sat up.
"Graduation!"
Wagner sat up too, smiling.
"Yeah…I'll get my degree."
"In what?"
"Psychology and Counseling."
Cammy laughed and hugged Wagner.
"Figures… I'm proud of you."
"We're going to be okay Cammy…despite Shadowlaw….it's going to be okay."
"For the first time I believe you."
Cammy was as content as she ever thought she could be. It was even better than she had imagined. Sometimes she'd sit and think for a minute and she couldn't help but let a smile break out on her face…a genuine smile. She knew a big part of it was Cranky and she also knew that it wasn't safe investing so much of herself into one person. But she didn't care, it was well worth the risk. All good things were risky, that's what makes them so good, so rewarding. She was in love, screw everything else to hell. She pulled her body in closer to Cranky's and kissed his bare chest. He stirred a little and tightened his arm around her waist. It'd been four days since her rescue and Cranky hadn't left her side except to run errands for her so she could spend time with Wagner. Tonight they'd made love and it was wonderful. Passionate and sweet … perfect aside from her secret. Three nights in a row she had shied away from Cranky's advances, feigning tiredness but knowing herself that it was the miscarriage keeping her from making love to him. But it was over now, she'd healed and she could forget and go on with her life, with Cranky.
A sudden noise caused Cammy to jump, rousing Cranky completely. The phone was ringing. Cranky rolled over tiredly and looked at her, his light green eyes lazy.
"You going to answer that?"
She smiled at him.
"Screw you, I just wanted to make sure it woke you up."
He rolled back over and she playfully kicked him in the bare butt before she grabbed the ringing phone from her nightstand.
"Hello?"
No answer came back, she heard breathing and background noise, but no one spoke.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
"C-Cammy girl, it's me, Julian."
Cammy's breath caught in her throat and her eyes shifted to Cranky, not asleep but trying. Cammy hated what she was about to do.
"Wagner, hold on, I'm going to go to the phone in the kitchen, Cranky's sleeping."
"Huh?"
Cammy ignored Julian's confused response and spoke to Cranky.
"Would you hang this up for me after I pick up the other line?"
Cranky nodded his head and Cammy hurried from the room and followed with a yell for him to hang up. He did. He was grateful for the phone call, though it was better than before, his conscience was killing him. None of this was really his fault. Was it his fault that he had found two incredible women at the same time? Was it his fault that they each completed and complimented a different part of him? Was it his fault he didn't want to hurt either of them?
Hell no it wasn't. The way he saw it, he was the good guy, trying to make everyone happy. He'd get everything figured out before it got too serious, though things with cammy already were pretty serious. He could see it in the way she looked at him and in the way he felt making love to her. His words were involuntary at that time, he was totally uninhibited and that was what was truly frightening. No calculating, no planning or doing it with an ulterior motive…it just came out. 'I love you'. He couldn't hurt Cammy, he didn't want to, and the same with Juli. The best thing for all parties involved was just to ride it out until his mind was made up…no harm, no foul. Right?
Cammy yelled for Cranky to hang up the phone and heard the it click on the other end. She wasn't worried about Cranky listening in. He'd met Wagner the night after their big fight. The two got a long great and Cranky understood her and Wagner's relationship. Even more so he was probably tired of them having such deep personal conversations. He wouldn't listen in. she spoke.
"You there Julian?"
"Yeah…"
"What is it?"
"I wanted to see how you were."
"I'm alive if that's what you mean."
"Cammy, I was really messed up. You know me, I would never have done that if I wasn't. I-I just feel like shit. And all of it was in vain, all my anger about Dorian's death, and it was all a lie."
"You should be thankful your child's not dead."
"Please don't do that. I had no idea…I swear. Oh God I can't believe this has happened."
Cammy could tell Julian was beginning to cry. She hadn't meant to do that. It's just her scars were still raw.
"Julian…it was already happening."
"What?"
"Before you hit me, before the mission even, I was in pain. I had no idea what it was…I thought it was just nerves or something. But now I know it would have happened anyway."
"That doesn't change what I did."
"No, but you didn't kill my child."
There was a long silence before Julian spoke.
"You know I worked a deal out, to help you guys, to find Dorian, I can't really tell you anything about it, Colonel Wolfman said not to contact anyone I know, but I had to call you."
"I understand. I wish we could see each other sometime under a normal circumstance."
"Heh, me too."
"Good luck finding Dorian, I'll be helping on my side."
"Thanks, and Cammy girl?"
"Yeah."
"I need one more thing from you, I don't know if it's what you believe, but I believe it so if you could indulge me."
"What is it?"
"When things like what happened to you happen, there's certain things you do, like, for the baby…to make sure his little soul is in order."
"Julian what are you talking about?"
"There's a post-mortem baptism and then you say a Mass and pray like any other death. But the baby needs a name."
"I haven't thought of that."
"Well I've got the resources to handle it, if you'd let me."
"Okay….name him Charlie, Charlie Nash Crankurt."
"Alright girl, I got it. You take care."
"You too."
Cammy clicked the phone into the receiver and leaned against the wall. All her emotions had clouded her mind so much that she hadn't even thought of something like that. But now she was more at peace than ever at the thought of her would-be child being with her father. The thought even made a small smile break out on her face. She could and would handle this…what' she'd told Wagner earlier tonight before he left was true. She was going to be fine, more than fine even… happy.
Cammy grabbed a manila folder from the kitchen table and brought it into the bedroom with her. She spoke softly has she crawled back into bed with Cranky.
"Hey…you awake?"
Groggily he answered.
"Yeah…"
"I wanted to give you something."
He sat up and faced her, kissing her softly on the lips before he waited for her to continue.
"It's just that with Wagner being here the past few days, and you telling me about your little bother and missing him. I got to thinking about how I'd feel if I didn't know where Wagner was or even if he was okay and…well, I dug something up earlier today."
She handed him the folder and he looked at her, puzzled.
"What's this?"
"Just open it."
Cranky did as she said and she watched as the emotions played across his face.
"The little mother fucker…"
Cammy smiled and spoke.
"That's him right?"
"Yeah, that's Kenny alright. How in the hell did you get this?"
"He is officially reported as dead…but then another Kenneth Feng, of the same age and origin as your Kenny, popped up in a foreign exchange program. So I went to confirm and there he was, in Raccoon City, USA, working with the police department."
"So he's here, I mean there, right now."
"As we speak…and your flight leaves in the morning."
Cammy could see Cranky's shock as he spoke.
"No one has ever done anything like this for me…but Cammy, I can't leave you right now."
"Sure you can…just promise me you'll come back to me is all."
Cranky looked down at the photos she'd printed off and then to her. He smiled.
"I'm going to see my little brother…"
Cranky grabbed Cammy by the shoulders and kissed her deeply. He slowly guided her to her pillow before he broke their kiss and spoke.
"I don't deserve you."
THE END…
To the readers…
I'm pretty sure most of you are aware, but this story is continued in two more fics, neither of which are written by me. Cranky's trip to reunite with Kenny is followed up in Noctorro's Resident Evil fic, "ACT 5: Biohazard- World of the Undead File 2" and then back to the Street Fighter world with, "ACT 6: STREET FIGHTER- Return to the Shadows". Again, I'm sure you all know and love Noc's fic as much as I do already…but yeah, in the highly unlikely situation one of my readers is not reading his fics too, check them out.
Enough of that…now to the really important things…
I'm a believer in the great power of words to convey everything, and even they cannot begin to describe how thankful I am for all of the readers and reviewers who have supported me through this. I'd like to think I was one of those authors who wrote only for myself, but that'd be a lie. While I do write what I like regardless, I still crave the reviews, the insights, hell, the even cheerleaders and flames. You've helped and entertained me as much as I hope I did you. I am hoping to get the inspiration for yet another continuation soon, but for now…the hiatus has begun. Thank you so, so very much for being with me through a wonderful experience.
Karina (Vammy)