Perfect World

Summery: We all know what happened to Trunks physically when he found Gohan's body, but what happened to him mentally?

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball is © of Toei Animation, Akira Toriyama and its respective companies, okay, it's not mine, all the prayers, wishes and temper tantrums in the world will not give me the rights to this wonderful piece of anime (believe me I have tried) and the song belongs to Simple Plan, not me. I take no credit for their wonderful creations. Yet again by some funny coincidence, the song is also called Perfect World

Hiya, I 'm back with YET ANOTHER songfic and this one is defiantly going to remain a one-shot, I'm not going to get caught like I have on 'Remember Me'. Look at me the little rebel, continuing to write songfics even after ffn have said we can't. But I'm not doing this purposefully to rebel, I'm doing it because the only place I seem to find inspiration is songs and the story wouldn't work without the lyrics.

This one is my second DBZ fic and it's based on the 'History of Trunks' movie. I have seen the uncut English version so I think I have seen the whole thing, I intend to watch the Japanese version as soon as I have the time, just to make sure. If you haven't seen ether version, some of the events portrayed may go over your head, but I'll try not to make you feel excluded.

So here we go, I warn you, it's pretty dark, but that seems to be my specialty at the moment ; P. The story may jump about slightly time wise and get a bit confusing, but this is the man thinking back over these events during and perhaps after they have actually happened and it was a very traumatic experience for the poor guy, so the order of occurrences may confuse. I didn't intend for that to happen, that's just the way the story demanded to be written.

Perfect World

I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart

"Oh God No" the words were out of my mouth before I realised what it was I was looking at. I had seen that same sight many times in my relatively short life; it's not something a child should have to see at all, never mind as often as I have.

It was a body, the body of a man, and he was lying face down in a large shallow puddle. The rain ran into my eyes as I looked at the man. This man had obviously been tall in life, with broad shoulders. He had a proud back, very short black hair, and only one arm. The rain water mixed with my tears as I recognised what was left of the gi on the man's back. It was orange, with a long sleeved dark blue shirt under it. It used to have a large white circle on the back, with a black symbol emblazoned across it. Now it had been burned off, leaving a large hole in the back of it, exposing the charred, black skin underneath.

It was the body of a man I had come to think of as my brother. I ran to his lifeless body, a faint glimmer of hope burning inside me that he was merely unconscious; I didn't want to even let the alternative enter my mind. I picked up his cold, rain soaked body, paying no heed to the puddle I was kneeling in or the rain that was running in torrents through my lavender hair and down my face, arms and back, all that mattered was the man I held cradled in my arms. I tried calling his name, willing him to wake up, to tease me, to crack a joke, for his mouth to stretch into his famous grin that mum always told me reminded her of his father, but when I looked into his dead eyes I knew he was never going to.

Why is everything so hard?
I don't think that I can deal
With the things you said
It just won't go away

I remember his last words to me, his last action as he left to fight the monsters that plague our existence. He had told me that I couldn't help, that I wasn't strong enough yet and I needed more training before I could hope to try and take on the androids, that he was more vulnerable with me there. I begged him to let me go with him, told him I was much stronger now, that I didn't feel comfortable with him going off alone with his injured, missing arm. I thought I had won. He relinquished and I thought my moment had finally come to make him proud. I remembered a sharp blow to the back of the head, then a voice telling me that he was sorry, but he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if something happened to his 'little brother' he said that I wasn't quite ready yet, then there was blackness.

The next thing I knew I was waking up on top of a cold, windy rock ledge overlooking the charred, blackened skeleton of what used to be one of the largest and busiest cities that had we had been able to maintain and repair. From the smoke billowing out from the ruin and the rain clouds gathered overhead, I knew that the fight was just recently over. I only knew it was over because I couldn't feel any power levels. I knew at that moment what had happened. He had knocked me unconscious and left me to try to fight back the waking nightmare that was our lives, on his own.

I immediately leapt up and flew to the ruin, trying to find him; the fact that I couldn't sense any strong power levels any where near me frightened me to death. There could be only one reason for that, but I didn't want to even consider that at this point.

His words had stung. I knew I had improved, had grown stronger, yet he still wouldn't let me come with him. Claiming that I was a vulnerability and therefore unable to take care of myself hurt. The words ran around in my head as I flew over the latest mass graveyard the two twisted beings of animated metal had created. Yet more anonymous graves for the children, their parents and grandparents. As I struggled to contemplate this fresh obliteration of life, Gohan's last words to me continued to sting, despite all of my improvements, I still wasn't far enough along. I was still too weak to be of any use to him, or the people that were still lucky enough to be alive. I was still useless and weak.

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all

As I held his head in my lap I thought about how unfair life was. How, one by one, those disgusting creatures had taken my family and friends from me. I was too young to remember any of the Z warriors, not even my own father, but as I grew, I gained friends who were killed, whether directly or indirectly, by those apparitions of horror. Each time I had mourned for them, gathered up the shattered pieces of my broken heart and moved on with my life, accepting that they wouldn't be the last loss I would suffer. I nearly became a recluse with all of the heartache and soul shattering I suffered in my short life. If it hadn't been for my mothers insistence and Gohan's personality and strength rubbing off on me, I would have never emerged from the remains of my room again.

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through

I was sure that through our training programs I had been making progress. He had even said so himself, he was proud of the progress I had made, but secretly I thought that he was disappointed in me for not being able to transform. The logical side of my mind insisted that I was just being paranoid, it had taken my father and Goku nearly 40 years to transform and Gohan had been about my age when he did it. But that little, paranoid voice was always there, whispering, insisting that I was disappointing my best friend and master.

He had always been a source of strength for me, someone I could turn to when frustration overtook me. This pain ran deeper than the pain I felt from any of my other friend's deaths. I realised that sounded callous and cold, but Gohan was so much closer to me than anyone else I had ever met except my mother. I was enveloped in a black cloud of grief, and I couldn't see a glimmer of light anywhere.

I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way

If only we hadn't lost Piccolo. With him, the dragonballs had been lost, making it impossible for us to bring anyone back. While I had lamented the loss of the balls, and the subsequent inability to resurrect the powerful warriors of the past, missing out on the chance to meet, and possibly train with my father, it had never hit me quite as hard as it did at that moment what that really meant. I would only see them again after my own death now. The tears continued to pour from my eyes as more and more revelations made themselves known to me. I was completely alone now. Alone to fight the androids that had taken down all of the most powerful fighters in the world, my father, and now my best friend. I wasn't nearly as strong as Gohan was when he…when he last fought the androids. And now, I would have to face them on my own.

Gohan was right. I didn't stand a chance against them, now I understood why he had

always tried to protect me, tried to prevent me from fighting until he considered me ready. My inexperienced, immature mind had chafed at the thought that I was being babied. I yearned to prove my mother and Gohan wrong. I was strong enough to fight, I could take care of myself, I didn't need their protection or their worries over my safety. Now I was paying the price for my arrogance.

I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go

Finally, after what felt to me like an eternity, I accepted it. I knew beyond a shadow of a dought that he was gone. The proud, strong man who had been like a father to me, my mentor, my guide, my friend, my brother. He was gone. He was taken from me by those hideous nightmares just as he said they would. He warned me that everything I held dear meant nothing to them, that they wouldn't hesitate to kill him, or my mother, if given the chance. I didn't want to believe him then, now, faced with the awful truth, I was forced to.

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all

With that realisation, I screamed. I screamed louder that I ever had in my life, I screamed so loud I thought that Gohan would be able to hear me in Other World as I dug my nails into my palms, hard enough to draw blood. I felt the hot sting of fresh salty tears run down my cheeks to be mixed, contrasted and diluted by the cold, hard driving rain that was running down my face. I felt the surge of raw power flow through my body. All of the rage and pain was unlocked from my heart in that one instant. My power level skyrocketed and I transformed for the first time. But he couldn't feel it now. He couldn't feel anything anymore.

You feel nothing
Nothing at all

Awhala, another one finito. And it was written when I should have been writing 'Remember Me' or continuing with 'Through Her Eyes'. Damn those friggin' bunnies, they just won't leave me alone, even when I'm minding my own business, ridding my bike in a car park on a Friday evening while listening to my new c.d. Must invest in some better traps, the stupid things seem to like to escape and hunt me down at any opportunity they get.

Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed. Thank you for reading.

May the Angels bless you and keep you safe

Anawiel