(Yeah, it's a really long chapter this time. It took about seven hours to write, so it should be. Anyway, there are some Japanese words used later on as fake last names of some characters, and I've decided to give you a key now: means as an adjective, means , and and you can just look up since I shouldn't be saying either in a PG rated fic. But the first is the second word plus in English.)

So you're saying that the coffin has a body in it?! Draco was more than taken aback. Maybe it would have been smarter to have just left the brown-haired exchange student face down in the mud.

Why wouldn't it? It is a coffin, after all. The exchange student seemed to be more than amused, but was hiding it very well. Draco doubted Crabbe or Goyle were picking up on that. The idiots probably thought that there was a vampire in the coffin. Wait, what if it was a vampire?! What if the exchange student was a vampire?! Wait, he couldn't be a vampire. The guy didn't look crazy enough, but the scar on his face was a little odd. The exchange student smirked. Got you, didn't I? There's not a dead body in the coffin. Mr. Valentine's just a little... interesting... If you get my meaning. He absolutely hates sunlight, hates garlic, transforms into various creatures when pissed off, he looks pretty weak but can kick some serious ass, his eyes are red, he's pretty cold, he's pyrophobic, and if you drop poppy seeds on the ground, he has this weird urge to pick every single one up individually. He's a little obsessive compulsive in that respect. He also likes to sleep in coffins. He likes to call it atoning, but everyone knows he's just lazy...

Draco was officially scared of the person in the coffin. Maybe the exchange student was just being a trickster or something. Just because the person described a vampire didn't mean that the person was one... Hopefully. Whatever the case, the exchange student seemed to be completely enjoying the effect of his words on the other people in the carriage. Draco decided to confront the student about the others. So, aside from the possible vampire, what are the other exchange students like? The now mysterious student (who seemed a little sadistic) cracked a smile.

Well... There's the blonds, the brown haired ones, and the black haired ones... Oh, and Other'. Who do you wanna know about...? Wait, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Squall Leonheart. I'm just guessing, but you don't happen to be Draco Malfoy, do you? Draco was obviously disturbed that this guy knew his name without ever seeing him before, but then realized that he was rather famous. Squall could tell the others in the carriage were officially unhinged by his oration. No, I'm not psychic, or psychopathic for that matter (although some of my acquaintances are). Anyway, back to what I was saying, who do you want to know about?

Draco realized that this might be a good ally to have. Maybe he affected his friends in the same way he affected Draco and his goonies. Hm... Who are the easiest to talk about?Most of the blonds. Excluding Choco-boy. And someone else. But, the rest are pretty simple. Literally. Anyway, starting off the blonds are the insane Al-Bhed girl and the air headed school girl. The former acts like a monkey and the latter never acts like a princess but is annoying as hell and refuses to help with anything. Both are on a permanent sugar high. Neither have a weak point that's easily exploited.

But, if you want to piss most of us off, all you have to do is call any machines . It also annoys anyone who has ever played FFX, most likely. And Mr. Highwind. He hates it. He also cusses a lot. It's fun to discuss stuff with him. You usually get side tracked, and he starts cussing about whatever. It's even more fun when he's in a bar and its Happy Hour. Anyway, Mr. Highwind's the blond guy who smokes a lot. I think he got in an argument with Ms. Organa on the train. At least, that's what Luke said it sounded like, and he's generally right about those things.

Anyway... You know the guy that was trying to help the three that were buried under the luggage? Malfoy nodded. He's... just, well... him, but don't dis his father. That's one of the few things he has a temper about, and bad things happen when he gets pissed.

Last blond is Choco-boy. ...Yeah. He's a lovesick idiot. The girl he likes is the brunette he was following around. You know, the one that traumatized the thestral? Malfoy nodded again. I just don't like Choco-boy. He's an idiot... Wait! I forgot Rufus... Oh well, there's nothing to really say about him... He's just a simpleton with an evil cat.

$Break$

Rufus sneezed, which caused Dark Nation jumped up and scratched him. Tifa laughed. Cid thought this gag was already completely overused since he had just sneezed a few seconds ago, which had caused Dark Nation to scratch him too. Leia was having the time of her life because she finally had enough peace and quiet to listen to her favorite rock band: AC/DC.

$Break$

Squall was having the time of his life too, since he was creeping out Malfoy and the goonies. Of course, it was pretty fun to slam Cloud and Rufus behind their backs. And the whole vampire thing with Vince was seriously hilarious. Especially since everything he said was true. Except maybe the poppy seed thing. That wasn't necessarily true, but Tifa had said once that Vince had actually done that. Of course, he and Tifa had just finished reading Bram Stoker's Dracula while they were on the train, so that was a little questionable. Squall also wondered if Malfoy had picked up on the fact that he had called Vince Mr. Valentine and Cid Mr. Highwind instead of the names, trying to hint that they were the teachers. But, after all, this guy was a blond. However Squall couldn't tell if he was a cliché blond or not.

Malfoy was starting to look a little agitated, but Squall knew that he was going to ask more about the others. Well, the blonds seem to be... colorful... Squall was very happy that he could control his own emotions. Unfortunately, Vince was having some problems. Squall could hear some faint laughing. The goons were getting scared all over again.

They're nothing compared to Seph---I mean Seth. Squall couldn't believe that he had almost slipped. Even in the backwater worlds, Sephiroth's name was pretty well known. To some at least. To be more specific, anyone even associated with evil. Meaning Dark Nation knew very well. Aside from the fact that Dark Nation was Rufus Shinra's pet, and therefore would know Sephiroth anyway.

Well, continuing... The people with brown hair are normal and we aren't really worth talking about. Except the other two cohorts of the crazy Al Bhed girl. They are more of the same as her, but one's a thieving kleptomaniac and the other likes a certain blond who's favorite food is hot-dogs. Also, Choco-boy's girlfriend is in this category. She's pretty normal, but has a vendetta against Seth'. And Rufus likes Tifa, but she's just using him. He knows, but doesn't want to admit it. Poor fool... Not. Malfoy was staring at him like Squall was in need of psychological help. I don't like Rufus' cat. It's evil.

$Break$

It was the third time Serena and Neo had gone through 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, and Luke was almost on his last nerve. Rath, however, was thinking about how useful their horrible singing would be in a war. Yes, the enemy would instantly know you were there, but they would be driven insane by the singing and most likely surrender faster. Broadcasting it over a loudspeaker and radioed in from a remote location would be even better. But, there would then be a very large expense for earplugs.

...44 bottles of beer on the wall... Neo was singing horrible off key. Serena was off key too, but they were off key in different keys. The thestrals were starting to get spooked by the ethereal . As was everything else in the area. Luke knew he was going to snap after a few more minutes if this racket continued.

Shut the hell up! Serena and Neo stopped and stared at Luke. He stared back. Rath decided that there would now be silence for the rest of the ride if the staring contest continued. If they were lucky.

$Break$

Yuna had been the smartest of the group. She had brought earplugs and reading material. It didn't matter that the other three in the carriage were talking nonstop about absolutely nothing. She was off in another world. Plus, she was $1000 richer. All she had to do was make sure she didn't fall asleep. If she did, there was no telling what Rikku, Selphie, and Yuffie would do, but it probably involved permanent markers... and Rikku's duct tape.

$Break$

The second to last category is the idiot hacker, the goof ball SOLDIER, and the vampire-like one. Draco somehow still wanted to know about the strange people that Squall was talking about. There couldn't possible be anything weirder than he had heard during the carriage ride so far. The idiot hacker is friends with the air head blond girl. They fight like hell and have horrible singing voices. They're some of the most feared people in the universe. Draco wasn't liking how the monologue was going now. But... It's only because they're some of the most clueless people ever. The hacker's girlfriend's afraid to go out in public with him because she's afraid he'll do something so stupid, she'd have to deny knowing him. And then pick him up at the police station later with a paper bag over her head.

The next is the goof ball. He used to be Choco-boy's girlfriend's boyfriend. He occasionally says something worth listening to, but sometimes makes equally stupid comments. He's also the only person that can even marginally keep the peace between Choco-boy and I've already gone over Mr. Valentine, but, trust me, he's not really a vampire. He doesn't really age and does look and act somewhat like the undead, but he's not a vampire. He just likes to sleep a lot and make snide comments about Choco-boy's complete obliviousness to how women act.

Goyle and Crabbe were obviously overloaded with information, but Draco was still following. He wasn't so sure about the whole vampire thing, though. Wait, you're saying that he has all the characteristics of a vampire, but isn't?! How does that work?!

Squall shrugged. I dunno. Why don't you ask him during Defence Against the Dark Arts class?What?! He's the new DADA teacher?! A bloody vampire?! Crabbe and Goyle were understanding the last few exchanges of dialogue, and were so scared they were white as sheets.

Yeah. And Mr. Highwind. We'll have a vampire wannabe and a drunk as teachers. I doubt anyone'll learn anything this year. Neither have ever taught anything before. In my opinion, they'll drag some people they know into fighting then make us watch the fights and comment on what is a good idea and what isn't. Of course, they'll probably only get people that don't know magic. Or we'll watch movies. Or research wars.

Draco couldn't believe that Squall was being so flippant. Watch real fights? Watch movies? The muggle's moving pictures? Learn about warfare? That was preposterous. Wizards don't need to know about any of the muggle's fighting habits. Or their technology. So, you're saying that we might be in danger while watching the fights? If they were, Draco knew his father could get the teachers fired.

But, Squall wasn't that stupid. Yes, but learning anything having to do with the defence against evil has a certain element of danger to it. Besides, the good guy would make sure that no civilians were hurt, and the bad guy would use that to cause the good guy to incur damage on behalf of them. It's a universal foible. Look, I don't want to talk anymore about it. I don't really know what would happen. Do you still want to know about the last two of my ...'friends'?

Draco was a little upset that he couldn't push Squall anymore about the teachers, but he did want to know about the last two. Of course.Okay. Well, the last two are disturbed. The redhead with the patch of white hair is suicidal and completely intent on ridding the world of demons. He generally dyes his hair, but it's a really crappy dye that turns his hair purple and blue and this school doesn't allow hair to be dyed unnatural colors. The last guy (with the silver hair) is a real piece of work. Seth, as I implied before, hates Choco-boy and thinks Choco-boy's girlfriend is out to get him. The goof is the only person from where Seth's from that he doesn't think is a complete idiot. With the possible exception of Tifa. And that's everyone.

$Break$

Zack was the only one awake in the carriage. Seph and Aeris were asleep out of boredom, and Cloud had passed out from pain after Seph kicked him in the leg again. He was actually quite happy, but Seph and Aeris were arguing with each other in their sleep. It was actually quite funny. If you ignored the fact that they were threatening to kill each other. But, overall, it was a nice day for Zack.

$Break$

By the fourth time Neo and Serena had gone through 99 Bottles, they arrived at the castle. Rath was, by then, completely convinced that any sane person would run away at the cacophony that the two made. Luke, however, wanted to strangle them, but was overjoyed that he didn't have to be confined in a small space with the two anymore. Rath and Luke got out and went to find the others, not really caring that Serena and Neo were still in the carriage. After all, they should be able to get out by themselves.

Zack was helping Cloud out, but Sephiroth had said that it would be just as expedient to push him out. Aeris had then smacked him. Yuna was standing around near Aeris, trying to keep tabs on the three hyper ones. Squall walked over, dragging the coffin Vince was in. Eventually, everyone congregated near the entrance to the castle and prepared to enter.

$Break$

Harry, Hermione, and Ron were already seated at the Gryffindor tables. The other students were already talking about the mysterious transfer students. Hermione almost felt like telling everyone who the new kids were but decided it was a better idea not to. Who knows what Sephiroth would do? Maybe it's not so great to have Sephiroth going to our school...

Ron shot Hermione a look. I told you so! What is so great about it? Who knows how dangerous this guy is!He can destroy a planet.

Harry's attention was caught at that point. What?! He can destroy a planet?! Could this get any worse? Ron started to answer, but Harry cut him off. Never mind, don't answer that.

As they were speaking, three adults tired to stealthy creep toward the teachers' table, and the woman started talking to Professor Dumbledore. Other two sat down in the seats reserved for the DADA teachers. The students noticed the three and started talking about them. All of the prefects recognized the woman and the blond man as the two who had been arguing on the train, but couldn't place the other man. Luna knew who the two guys were, but, like Hermione, was still trying to figure out who the woman was. Malfoy and his cronies guessed that the man with the dark hair was the not a vampire and made a mental note to avoid him as much as possible.

Ron thought this was now the perfect time to spring the way he thought that this year could get even worse. Hey, the only way the year could get any worse is that this Sephiroth dude was working for He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

Hermione instantly glared at Ron. Don't even think that! That would mean the apocalypse! We'd all be seriously screwed over. Sephiroth is almost completely unstoppable! ...But Cloud is here... So we might be all right.And Cloud is who? Harry asked.

The only guy who could ever defeat Sephiroth....Was he the blond with the broken leg?

Ron considered what that meant. So... We're as good as dead if Sephiroth's working for He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?Pretty much. But, I don't think he is. I mean, I'd have expected him to try to kill Cloud or Aeris on sight, but he seemed more interested in making Cloud's life a living hell, so I think Seph might be on our side... Hermione glanced towards the teachers table and noticed the woman who had been fighting with Cid on the train. Harry, does that lady look familiar to you? I think I recognize her, but I can't put a name to her face.You mean the lady talking to Professor Dumbledore who looks like she belongs in a science fiction movie?You think she's from a sci-fi movie? I was thinking she was from more of an anime type place, but I think I see what you mean......So, I decided to come to you to ask what the least overt way to sort the exchange students would be, Leia finished. She had been afraid that she, the idiot, and the vampire-esque one had already made a scene, but letting the others make a scene was out of the question.

Professor Dumbledore thought for a minute before answering. Well, maybe it would be best to sort them before the first years, and just explain that they are transferring into the school as sixth years. They might still have some trouble adjusting, though. But, this way seems to be the best way to prevent a scene.

Leia sighed and then smiled. Thank you. I'll go get them now. She walked off.

Professor Snape glared at her as she walked off, completely unaware that she knew he disliked her. I don't trust her. There's something off about how she's acting.I don't think so, Professor McGonagall said. She seems perfectly normal for a woman who had to travel with 10 plus teenagers, who probably were arguing or on a sugar high the entire time.I still don't trust her, or the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers, either.The teachers are a tad sketchy, but so are you....You have a point. What I don't even want to think about is what the children will be like.I'm sure they'll be perfectly normal. Famous last words.

$Break$

As they entered the Great Hall, Serena was completely absorbed in the ceiling. It looked exactly like the sky outside! It even showed the full moon! The others were amazed by the ceiling as well. Even Sephiroth. The tables were in four rows, one for each house, she surmised. There was a old looking hat on a stool. She guessed that was the Sorting Hat. Apparently, it was going to read their minds and decide which house they belonged in. She hoped she would get into Gryffindor, but was a tad afraid of being put into a different house. However, the only real reason she wanted to get in that house was that she didn't want to be separated from her friends. Well, maybe she could do without Sephiroth, but he was going to be put into Slytherin for sure.

Then, once the first years had entered, the Sorting Hat began its song. It told of how the brave and bold went into Gryffindor. Well, that's where Luke, Cloud, Aeris, Yuna, Selphie, and Rath would go. It told of how the smartest went into Ravenclaw. That's where Rikku, Neo, Tifa, Squall, and Rufus would go. It told of how the most cunning would go into Slytherin. There would go Sephiroth and Yuffie. Lastly, it told of how the rest went into Hufflepuff. Well, that's where she'd be going as well as... Zack. Serena really didn't want to spend an entire year in the same house as Zack. Sephiroth might be able to stand him, but she couldn't.

After the hat finished it's song, and Rath was thoroughly scared by it, Dumbledore announced that the transfer students would be sorted before the first years. Serena started to become really nervous as she waited for the Headmaster begin calling their names of. She didn't remember if they had ever decided on last names for Yuna, Rikku, Neo and Sephiroth, or if they'd come up with a false last name for Luke.

Neo Anderson. Neo grumbled a bit after his name was read because he really didn't like his last name anymore. He reluctantly put the Hat on, and it instantly yelled Well, to most (hell, everyone), that was a surprise.

Yuna Densetsu. Yuna smiled and walked up to the Hat. She was a little afraid of it, but knew that causing a scene was not a good way to start the year off. The Hat took longer to decide where she should go. You don't want to be put into Slytherin, and with good reason. But, what is your qualm with Ravenclaw? You are smart enough to be in it, it asked of her, telepathically. I guess I don't want to be separated from my friends...Even my insane cousin! She replied. The Hat yelled, Zack Donavon. Zack walked over and put the Hat on. Hm... I can't make any particular house out for you. You could go into any of them, the Hat told him. Can I be in Slytherin, then? I wanna be able to annoy one of my friends the entire year, and I know he'll get into Slytherin, Zack explained. O.K. If that's what you want... Over at the Gryffindor table, a girl sat completely confused.

Aeris Gainsborough. Aeris walked over and put the Hat on. You are dead, aren't you? it asked. Yeah. Zack was, too, she replied. I just wanted to check. How'd you die? it asked. Stoopid Sephiroth killed me. The Sorting Hat remembered that name from the last person. He sure to get into Slytherin? I think that was why the last person wanted to get in. Aeris smiled. Yeah, that goof'd do something that stupid. Seth Hidoikuso. Sephiroth went over to the Hat, glared at it, then put it on. The Hat figured this was the guy that the two before had been talking about. Rath Illuser. Since Rath was scared shitless by the Hat, Luke had to use a little bit of mind control to get him over there. When he finally got to the Hat, Rath poked it a few times before he put it on. What was the poking for? the Hat asked. You scare me. Rath was to the point. Okay... Well, as you probably figured, I have a problem. What house would you like to go in: Gryffindor or Slytherin? The Hat was to the point too. The house that doesn't have Neo in it, preferably where I could be all dark and suicidal and still fit in. Yuffie Kisaragi. Yuffie had been convinced by Rikku that the hat was like Cait Sith and was a machine with artificial intelligence, so she walked over and put it on. The Hat wasted no time again, and shouted Rikku Kyoukino. As she was walking over, the Hat shouted A few people were having trouble containing their laughter, so Rikku glared at them, but that gave Squall and Cloud even more trouble. So, she just rolled her eyes and walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat next to Yuna.

Squall Leonheart. Squall walked over and put the Hat on. The Sorting Hat was having some trouble and decided to consult Squall. What house do you think you should be put in? Squall replied in some of his stock dialogue: ... ... ... ...whatever. If the Hat could glare, it would have. Fine then. What's the cubed root of 125? Squall answered automatically. 5. Tifa Lockheart. Like the rest, Tifa walked over and put the Hat on. Please! Anything but Gryffindor! I can't take the incessant babbling of Rikku or Neo! Tifa begged of the Hat. Ravenclaw work? it suggested. Sure. Squall's okay. He's not big on talking. Rufus Shinra. Rufus was getting bored, so he was seriously happy when his name had been called. He, following suit, put the Hat on and waited for it to pick what house he'd be put into. You're the son of a president of a power company, among other things. Well, this shouldn't be too hard. Tifa instantly regretting saying yes to Ravenclaw.

Cloud Strife. Cloud was a little cautious of the Hat, but, because he had to, put it on anyway. The Sorting Hat was having a very hard time trying to sort all of Cloud's memories out into the real and the fake. Finally, it gave up and asked him his opinion. What house do you wan to be in? Cloud, being in one of his moods, answered. Whatever I deserve... So, not Gryffindor. ...Definitely Slytherin. Lucky for Cloud, the Hat remembered what Aeris and Zack's opinions of him were. Your friends don't seem to have thought you should be put into Slytherin. Cloud was still playing the tortured, depressed hero. Yeah, but for letting them die, I deserve to be in Slytherin. The Hat decided that there was no use arguing with Cloud and gave in. Serena Tsukino. Serena was really antsy by this point and skipped over to try to dispel her anxiousness. She put the Hat on, and it yelled, Serena was very happy that she got to spend the entire year plotting with the hyper ones and Neo.

Selphie Tilmitt. Recognizing the name as one linked to Yuffie and Rikku, before Selphei could get to the Hat, it yelled, Luke Walker. Luke walked over to the Sorting Hat and put it on. The Hat immediately started talking to him. You know, you're the second person today with a normal name, and like that guy, I bet you want to get into Slytherin for some odd reason like he had. Luke was pretty good at second guessing why and who wanted to get into Slytherin. Lemme guess... Zack asked to get in to annoy Sephiroth? The hat was stunned. Wow. You know your friends well. Luke had to correct the Hat. Er... I wish I could say that, but I doubt some of them even know themselves all that well. I'm just psychic. The Hat was even more impressed by Luke. Oh. Okay. So... what's your reason for going into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor? Trying to get away from annoying classmates? Wanting to annoy classmates? Feel as if you don't deserve to belong in Gryffindor? Luke cracked a smile. Hell, no. I'm suicide watch for Rath and Cloud. If I leave them with Sephiroth, they'll surely kill themselves. And Zack won't exactly help... Well, he'd keep Cloud from killing himself, but Rath just has problems. The Hat now understood somewhat of what Luke was trying to say. Ok... If you want to be stuck in Slytherin, it's your choice, but the fact that you're making the choice to sacrifice your own preference to help your friends gives you even more merit to be sorted into Gryffindor. As Luke walked away, he said to the hat, Besides, my father was a Dark Lord. Leia was as surprised to learn her brother got himself sorted into Slytherin as one would be to find it cold in Antarctica.