Chapter 7

The next morning, the only house that had gotten any sleep whatsoever was Hufflepuff. Gryffindor had been awakened by what was to later be called the first "Buttered Toast Ghost" incident. Slytherin had never gone to sleep in the first place, except for Zack, who had the same sleeping powers as Serena and Neo, except he could also avoid any sort of harm while he was asleep (yet another trait learned by working with Sephiroth). Lastly, Ravenclaw had been awakened during the night by a cry of "Pervert" and a very loud bitch slap. Later, Tifa would be known as "The Girl Who Cried Pervert... With Good Reason". Only Squall knew who the "perv" was, but he was getting a payoff, so he was going to tell Tifa who it was the next day. The house had already formulated an idea of who it was, but was wrong in both assumptions (Rufus isn't that desperate and Squall does theoretically have a girlfriend).

Neo was asleep at the breakfast table. Serena poked him sleepily. "Wake up lazy-head." Neo replied, "Ner." She poked him harder. "Wake up, or no food." Neo snored. Yuna and Aeris were sleepy since they had spent the rest of the night trying to get Yuffie off the ceiling. Yuffie had already had her cup of sugar and was bouncing off the walls along with Rikku and Selphie. Serena was still poking Neo, but he wasn't waking up. She was pretty close to using the Trinity way of waking him, but Neo woke up. "You took long enough," Serena said.

"I wish I'd taken longer. Did you wave some weird dream last night about buttered toast and gravy? I did. It also included someone yelling pervert... And then the world ended by an atomic bomb... But the bomb sounded more like someone hitting a floor. Wait, no, there were two bombs. One was full of radioactive cotton candy and the other with Kharl clones..." Neo then spotted waffles on the table. Serena followed his line of sight, and they ate most of the food placed in front of them. They fought about the ownership of the last waffle with their forks and spoons (Neo had the spoons).

By the time Serena and Neo had finished duking it out with the cutlery, the rest of the house had arrived (they got to the Great Hall so they could eat a lot). Aeris finally was able to find a cup of coffee and some... buttered toast. Yuna preferred to stay away from any food item that had been going through any of their friend's minds the last night, and took some pancakes and maple syrup. Hopefully, this first day would be a good one, and they would make a good impression upon their teachers. But, without being an idealist, that was as likely to happen as Neo's wacky dream would become reality.

Squall, having had no sleep at all, was sitting at a Ravenclaw table when Rufus and Tifa got there. He was drinking a concoction that looked vaguely like Jolt mixed with Mountain Dew, coffee, Red Bull, and about 10 Pixy Stix. Tifa looked at the drink and felt like barfing. "What?" Squall said. "It tastes good, and keeps you on a caffeine and sugar high for a week."

Rufus looked Squall in the eyes and said very plainly, "You really need to find a hobby other than breaking the world record on every world for staying up most nights in a row." Tifa was throwing up on the floor now.

"But I have no other purpose in life!" Squall was being sarcastic. "Anyway, I heard you went on a panty raid last night." Rufus glared at Squall. Tifa, who had finished throwing up threw an accusing look at Rufus.

"You know damn well that I wasn't the one that snuck into Tifa's room!" Rufus was really pissed. Squall took a sip from the concoction, and Tifa barfed again. "...How the hell are you so freaking calm after drinking something that should have you bouncing off the walls!"

Luckily, Cloud was passing by. "What do you mean? Squall hasn't slept for a fortnight." Squall nodded in agreement with Cloud. Tifa looked at Cloud.

"You mean you knew that he drinks this stuff! It's absolutely disgusting! Besides, shouldn't he be dead from not getting enough sleep yet!" she exclaimed. "Oh, and if you haven't heard yet, someone tried to steal my underwear last night." Cloud looked unsurprised. "Like certain other persons we know..." Tifa continued deliberately.

Cloud turned red. "T-that was only once! And I was an idiotic 16-year old! Besides! I was trapped in the Slytherin dorms the entire night! ...Wait..." Cloud glared at Rufus.

"Why does everyone automatically think that I did it!" Rufus exclaimed. Squall, Cloud, and Tifa stared at him. "Okay, so it's not all that improbable, but I didn't do it!"

Squall took another drink of the vile substance. "Oh, I know who did it, and it wasn't the one who's been hitting on you, me, or the one who's guilty of the act previously." Cloud and Rufus glared at Squall. "You wouldn't believe who it was... But, he thought you were someone else..."

Tifa was interested. "Is it someone we know?"

"Maybe..." Tifa glared at Squall and lunged at him, screaming "Tell me, god dammit!"

Rath didn't look all that great the next morning: he was covered in blue and purple bruises from the beating Malfoy's minions had given him. "Huh... Maybe If I dye my hair back to normal, no one will notice..." Unfortunately for Rath, a rather disheveled looking Sephiroth had trudged over and sat down. He stared at Rath with glowing green eyes.

"If you get to dye your hair, then I get to kill whoever had the bright idea of that little party last night..." Seph spotted an amused Cloud coming over. "...You're too happy. What happened? Sneak over to the Gryffindor dorms last night?" Rath started laughing.

Cloud, thoroughly embarrassed, glared at Seph. "No! Dammit, you have a dirty mind! Squall was just freaking Tifa out with the disgusting brew he calls 'coffee on drugs'."

"Does it have drugs in it?"

"No, just enough caffeine and sugar to make a normal person high as a kite."

"He pulling another all monther?" Cloud nodded, and grabbed a cup of tea. Sephiroth decided to get a cup of the other caffeinated substance on hand. While they were doing so, Rath fell asleep at the table with his face in a plate of eggs. Neither noticed until Zack neared.

"How long have you guys left Rath like that?" Cloud and Seph looked at Zack like he was insane, and then looked at Rath.

"He was talking about ten minutes ago," Seph remarked, then went back to drinking his coffee. Zack sat down and started eating breakfast. They all sat in silence for a few minutes, until the others from Slytherin showed up. "At the risk of sounding like the vampiric one, they're too loud. I can't eat."

Cloud stifled a laugh. "Vince is going to get you for that one..." Seph hit Cloud. "Ow! That hurt!"

In the meantime, Rath woke up. Zack got a good look at what Rath's face currently looked like. "Holy Mother of God! Did those idiots really hit you that hard! You look like you fell off a cliff!"

Rath sighed. "No... I don't look like I fell off a cliff. Falling off a cliff is a lot less painful. Trust me, I know from experience. Those numbskulls are supernaturally strong. ...I must look like Nightcrawler."

"More or less. You're less fuzzy, and your hair's red, so you don't look exactly like Nightcrawler." Rath stared at Zack.

"He's always like this, isn't he?" Rath addressed his question to Cloud and Sephiroth, who nodded.

Yankee, the girl that had defended them in the convention of stupidity the night before, walked over to try to make some conversation with the only seeming sane students in Slytherin house. "Hi! My name's Yankee," she said.

Rath looked at her, stared for a few seconds then looked for a cup of coffee. Zack, on the other hand, was more friendly. "Hello. I'm Zack. The one that looks vaguely like Nightcrawler is Rath, and my two other friends are Cloud and Seph."

"You know, you're one of the first people at this school that hasn't completely blown me off the first time I talked to them." She smiled and sat down. Rath, who had finished his first cup of coffee found the pot and poured himself another cup. "I take it they're antisocial?" She gestured at Cloud and Seph.

"'Antisocial' is not strong enough a word for Seph. Cloud's just shy... and somewhat distrusting." Cloud glared. Seph hid a smile and murmured to Zack, "This is the lamest conversation I've ever heard you participate in in order to pick up a girl." Zack elbowed him, and decided to change the subject. "So... Interesting name. Your parents baseball fans? I thought that no one really liked baseball in England."

"I'm American, not English, and, yes, my parents are obsessed with the 'great American pastime'. You guys don't really strike me as people who'd put up with any crap from assholes like Dick or Draco." Rath stared at her deliberately. "Does your face hurt?" she asked him.

Rath thought about it for a bit and replied. "Sorta. Not really. It just looks like crap. It hurt last night, but someone was kind enough to cast Ice-3 on my pillow." He glared at Seph, who whistled nonchalantly. Sephiroth's hair suddenly caught on fire at the ends. He noticed, cast Ice, and glared at Rath. "This means war," Seph said. "You do know that, don't you?"

Yankee was not particularly surprised that Rath cast a fire spell without a wand or anything. She still thought wands were ridiculous and that the robes were even more so. Not to mention the uniforms... "So, why did you not use any magic last night? I think that Draco and his minions would have backed off."

Rath stared at her. "I thought we weren't allowed to use magic out of the classroom. Or, in this stupid house, is it don't tell what happens inside, even under pain of death?"

"It's if you side with Voldermort, you get away with everything, and if you despise everything that they stand for, you better stay on the straight and narrow if you don't want to get in trouble with the teachers. Or the gestapo, as the rest of the houses call the prefects from Slytherin. I prefer to call them stormtroopers."

"What kind? German storm troopers from the world wars or Galactic Empire stormtroopers?" Luke, who had just appeared, asked.

"Duh. Imperial troopers. I mean---" She turned to stare at Luke.

"Not our fault," Cloud stated before any accusations could be made. To enforce the point, Zack hid under the table. Seph stared at the place where Zack had hid under the table, and kicked him. Rath spotted a bag of ice that had mysteriously appeared and started to wonder what type of forces were in control of what was deposited and removed from the table.

Luke looked at Cloud. "What the hell are you talking about! I'm not really in the mood for mind games. I couldn't get to sleep last night because of all of the fricking chatter going on in the commons."

"Too much telepathic chatter or were the idiots too loud?" Seph asked.

"Both. I still have a headache," Luke replied.

Yankee didn't even want to know what they were talking about, but had a vague idea. Unfortunately. Suddenly, the bell rang for everyone to go to their first class of the school year. Rath, however, was still staring at the bag of ice that had appeared in front of him. This was going to be a strange year indeed.