(Well, because I finished 'The Golem's Eye' yesterday I think I'll celebrate by posting a comedy story; don't know when I'll update though.)
Muffins and Cookies:
Chapter One
Nathaniel sighed as he walked downstairs to the kitchen. Dismissing Bartimaeus had made him suddenly tired and hungry. Of course, his kitchen was not as decorated as his bedroom and living room, but he did not mind all that much.
He yawned loudly and opened the pantry door, scanning for whatever edible substance lay inside.
There was not much, aside from a jar of peanut butter and a jar of grape jam. "Oh, why not?" he thought before removing the two items from the shelf and closing the door; he set them on a counter and opened a small drawer, looking for a knife. He took one in his hand and grasped two pieces of wheat bread from a small basket. After opening the jar of peanut butter, he took a wad of it with his knife and began to spread it on one of the pieces of bread.
Once he finished both, he was about to close the jar when there was a sudden knocking at his door. Sighing with annoyance he strode out of the room and towards the door, unlocking it and jerking it open.
Nathaniel stared blanking at the dark sky; no person stood there, or so he thought before a strange growling noise emanated from near his shoes. He glanced down to see a small muffin with red eyes and sharp fangs hissing at him.
He raised his right eyebrow and glided over to the window, peeking out to see all hell breaking loose. Thousands of different, demonic muffins were flying through the sky and all of the commoners were squabbling about in panic.
"What in bloody hell is going on? Can't I make a sandwich around here?" he muttered before one of the walls of his house blew open, revealing a black- clothed figure with a gas mask. Before Nathaniel could say anything, the person flipped over to him and sprayed pepper spray in his eyes. The magician cried in distortion as the person grasped him by the arm and led him out of the house to a small black car, shoving him into the back seat and quickly tying his hands behind his back with a piece of rope.
The person then knocked a muffin away and climbed into the passenger seat of the car before it sped off down the road.
Nathaniel took about five minutes to regain his sight and composure before kneeling down on the floor of the car. "Why did you just attack me and kidnap me!" he yelled as the man in the passenger seat removed his mask. "Oh, of course Mr. Mandrake; I am William Vogreres."
"What type of name is that?"
"It's my codename."
"I'm sure…"
"Please, Mr. Mandrake, don't act so bewildered," spoke the driver of the car; she then tore off her own mask, revealing a face Nathaniel recognized in less than a minute.
"Ms Farrar! What are you,"
"William, please explain to Mr. Mandrake our current situation."
"Of course, Jane." He then turned to Nathaniel and smiled. "Jane and I are members of a highly sophisticated organization which is hidden within the British Government; we are the true reason Great Britain has become so powerful. Now, Jane was just part of a covert operation to uncover some information. However, someone dangerous as become aware of our intentions and has released the 'Nocujin'."
"Nocujin?"
"The demonic muffins."
"Yes, they multiply and breed at a tremendous rate; we were successful in catching one; it's in that chest to your left."
Nathaniel nodded and stared at the brown box. "Well?" William asked.
"What?"
"Open it!"
"How can I open it when I'm tied up?"
"Oh, fine!" William stretched over and flipped the lid over, revealing a blueberry muffin; the muffin opened its eyes and stared up at Nathaniel.
Jane gasped suddenly. "Ah, what an annoyance!" she exclaimed. "Their intelligence is growing and they're coming after us! William, get the map out; we have to get to headquarters."
"Of course, Jane."
She made a hard right turn, which knocked Nathaniel down on his back, as well as the chest; the muffin jumped out of it and landed on Nathaniel's stomach. "Uh, someone, help!" he cried as it began to attack him relentlessly. William swiftly pressed a small button which caused a glass button to slide and separate the two sections of the car; it drowned out the noise.
"Oh, if only these pesky commoners and magicians would get out of the street! The Nocujin aren't that bad!" Jane remarked as she pressed on the brake to stop before a red light.
Everything suddenly became quiet. Except for the panic outside and Nathaniel's muffled cries from the back.
(Well, for all you Kitty fans she'll be coming out next chapter, so stay tuned.)