Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go.

Chapter 8 : Forever

Later Hikaru made Takamiya swear that he would never tell anyone.Well, it wasn't everyday that you greeted your neighbor and said, ' Hello, Auntie Mitsuko, What a loving day, Ah! By the way, your only son has double personalities condition,' I guessed he had no choice but swore.

That was how my life with Hikaru began. Most of the time he gained the body and I watched everything through the eyes in silent. I watched him studying, playing and chatting with his mom. I was always with him but no one knew or heard my voice except Hikaru. I became his personal ghost. I didn't mind that. It wasn't that I wanted the others anyway. The only one I wanted was Hikaru, always Hikaru. At nights, we met each other in the forest which he called " Neverland"…Yeah, just like " Peter Pan".

" Why did you name it ' Neverland' ?" I once asked him.

" So, we can be together forever, just Peter Pan who never ages," he answered with a sweet smile.

Occasionally he got tired, in that case, I would control the body and he would be the one who stay in silent. Mostly, we awoke at the same time, it was the reason why we knew what the other had done or what had happened though we didn't control the body but it didn't happen that way all the times. There was a time that we didn't know what happened, for example: when I got bored and slept in English class or when Hikaru was sleeping in Neverland recovering from a cold while I controlled the body, we called this state " Sleep".

When one of us was in "sleep state", that one wouldn't know what was going on in the real world. Takamiya was confused by this Awake-Sleep condition. He said if one of us was awake, the other should sleep, there was no way that both of us could awake all together.

" It's unusual," that was what he said.

Hikaru didn't care about this. Maybe he thought that if there were possible to have two Shindou Hikaru then nothing was impossible any longer. If he didn't care, so did I. Besides, he loved me, he wanted me, so did I.

Takamiya wanted him to be normal again. He tried to erase me but he couldn't because my Hikaru didn't let him to.

" I'd rather die than losing him," Hikaru declared without a doubt, I almost cried by hearing that.

That was how we lived. We were together days and nights..always together. I truly believed that we would never be alone again. Just Hikaru and I together, it was meant to be.

I noticed that since the day I met him, he didn't show any interest in Go again but when the time passed by, a month after my birth, he realized that he loved Go than he had ever known. At first, I wanted to give him back his fan since now it seemed that he had already forgotten how to play the game but he refused my offer, He was afraid that I would disappear if he took it back.

It was his, his talent, but he chose to abandon it because of me so I offered myself to teach him the game.That was howI became his Go teacher. In the daytime, we played Go whenever we had time, at night-time we practiced the game together in Neverland. Soon I fell in love with the game too, I knew the reason why…because it was what Hikaru loved, if not I wouldn't even know the game. Without realizing, when I looked at the fan again, it changed its color. The black fan that he hated turned to be a white graceful Japanese traditional fan.

I cherished him. I treasured every moment we spent together…every laughter, every cry. He created me, I was here because of him, yet he had never boasted about it. He had never talked down to me even though he had every right to do so. On the contrary, he treated me as his best friend. Frankly speaking, he was the one who acted like a puppy as I was his owner. He was a good boy, that was why I loved him. He gave me the reason to live, I gave him my knowledge. That was know thing worked.

Takamiya seemed to figure out that I would never ever harm Hikaru. He saw no reason to get rid of me so he let us alone and kept my existence in secret. He became my…not friend…the only friend that I had was Hikaru…he became my acquaintance and my private doctor.

The left problem now was Hikaru. He felt guilty that I didn't play as much as he did. I told him hundreds time that it was fine but he didn't listen to me. Finally, he found a way out…A net-Go and I became the greatest internet-Go player in no time.

Days went by with joy, Takamiya now became Doctor Takamiya, Hikaru became an insei since he wanted to prove his ability to Touya Akira.

Touya Akira…I never liked that kid, I never did. As Hikaru's guardian, it was my duty to protect him but that kid hurt his feeling countless times. My Hikaru always considered that cold blood boy as his friend, still he looked down on Hikaru and regarded him as his enemy.

However, Hikaru was really enjoyed being the insei, no matter how much he loved me, it was necessary that he played with other kids.

I thought the happiness would last forever, I was wrong. The day that he set up the game between Touya-Meijin and me changed everything. I won, the Meijin declared his retirement. Blaming himself, Hikaru went out of control.

It was then I made the most important decision in my life. I decided to sleep..forever.

" Doctor Takamiya, I'll go now, please take care of him, look after him for me," I said sadly. The young doctor was shocked by my statement and my heartbreaking look.

" What do you mean? Where're you going?" he demanded.

" I'm going to sleep and never wake up again," I answered painfully.

" What! Why?" my doctor exclaimed in horror.

" I'm a harm for Hikaru. I should be the one who protect him but I hurt him instead,"

" What are you talking? You always protect him! No one loves him more than you! You've never hurt him!" He bewildered by my statement.

" And what happened just now? If I didn't win the Meijin, Hikaru wouldn't be like this," I retorted back.

" It's not your fault either! Damn it! Don't you guys get it! It's no one's fault! Touya decided that by himself! Why can't you guys understand!" he yelled angrily.

" He always thinks of me. I've told him many times to do as he wanted but he's never listened to me. He wants us to be happy together. He tries very hard to do it while I can't do anything for him. I'm always his burden," I told him my thought.

" That's not true! He has never thought that way! And he will never do!"

" Yeah, he's a good heart, hasn't he? That's why I love him so much," I smiled bitterly. "But I do nothing except holding him back. That's the reason I should go,"

" You can't go! Who's going to teach him a game? Who will play with him!" Doctor Takamiya tried to stop me.

" He's getting better every single day. He doesn't want me anymore. He can walk to the Hand of God alone without me," He will find the Hand of God, I know he will.

" Forget about that damn Hand of God! What's about Hikaru himself? Don't you care how he feels? How much he will hurt? If you love him, you must stay here forever and protect him by yourself instead of asking me to do it for you!"

" Time will heal him. Soon he'll forget me," I gave him my last word. "Take care of him, promise me, protect him…" Then I closed my eyes and went back to the darkness.

A/N: This is the first time that I write a fic through…what should I say? Through the first person's view? I think I prefer the third eyes view better.

siobhn01 & kathy : Yeah, Sai is so PROTECTIVE.

gravitation gig : Now you know why it called " Neverland".

kari : Thank you, alwayslove to see a long comment( you made me blush )