Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go.

Chapter 9 : Alone in the dark again

I didn't how long I had been sleeping since that day. All of a sudden, my eyes automatically opened. This time the first thing I saw was the ceiling. I called Hikaru but didn't get any answer. I knew right away what was going on since it wasn't the first time anyway. He must have been sick and lost his awareness. Following my instinct, I woke up.

Someone tried to help me get up, it was Doctor Takamiya.

" I can get up by myself, Doctor Takamiya," I told him calmly.

" Sai?" Hikaru had never been this polite, he knew in that second that it was me.

" Yes," I replied.

" It's been a while that you have been sleeping, And Hikaru?" the young doctor asked me anxiously.

" Don't worry, he's sleeping. He needs a rest," I stood up.

" Where are you going?" Still worried, he asked me.

" I'm going to take him back home so he can rest peacefully," I was about to leave. Then someone took my hand hastily.

" Wait! Shindou!What's going on!" Touya Akira shouted at me.

Great, he's here..Ah! His father is here too " Do-not-touch-me," Looking at him coldly, I said angrily. He slowly let go of my hand.

" Goodbye, Doctor Takamiya, Touya, Touya-Sensei," I left the room and went back home where I went straight to bed as soon as I got there.

Then I woke up again, this time I saw…

" Hikaru!" In the darkness, Hikaru was lying in a glass coffin on a stage surrounding with thousands of burning candles. There was no animal, no tree, no forest or a lake!

" Hikaru!" As I reached him, I quickly took him out of the coffin and shook him hard in attempt to wake him up, " Hikaru! Wake up! Hikaru! Wake up! What happens! Hikaru! Hikaru!" but he didn't wake up.

" Who is it!" I heard a footstep. A yellow figure came out from the dark, " Poji?" Poji was still here, he drew closer to me. " Poji! What happens to him?" Knowing by heart that he couldn't speak, I still demanded him angrily. He sat by me, I saw a white paper in his mouth. " What is it?" The moment I took it away from his mouth, he vanished into the air. I looked at the paper in my hand. It was a letter…a letter from Hikaru.

Dear Sai,

If you see this letter, it means that I'm gone. I decide to take a long sleep and have no intention to wake up for the second time. Ken-chan has told me about your decision…about your departure. You're wrong, my friend, if there's someone who should sleep, if there's someone who should vanish…disappear, that one should be me, not you. They all want you, Sai, not me. Touya wants you too. It was a mistake that I let you sleep. I'll make it right this time, I'll sleep forever.

Sorry that I always take the body. It must be hard to stay in silent all the times. I'm so self-centered, please forgive me. So, from now on, you'll get whatever you should have had all along. You deserve it. I know that it's not enough compare to how selfish I am but I want to make it up to you. I'm sorry, my friend, I'm really sorry.

I know that I've no right to ask you any favor but..please take care of mom and dad. Visit grandpa sometimes and be nice with our friends. Most important thing, please reach the Hand of God for me. I'm sure that you and Touya will find it. I know that you don't like him, am I right? Although you try to hide that from me, I know anyway. We're the same person, remember? Touya is a good guy, he isn't that bad, you know. He's not only my rival but also my good friend so take care of him, ok? I'm being selfish again, aren't I?

Even I'm sleeping now but I want you to know that I'm and will always be with you. Good luck, Sai, my friend, me best friend, my dear brother, my teacher…another me. I love you, don't ever forget that.

...Forever love,

...Hikaru

" NOOOO!" Screaming painfully, I felt like someone was taking away a half of my heart while I was still alive, I burst out into tears and woke up in our room. Takamiya was by my side. My face was wet by my tears.

" Hikaru? Are you okay? Do you have a nightmare?" Concerning him, he asked nervously. I gazed at him, he knew in that moment who I was, " Sai? What happens?"

" I'm about to ask you the same question,"

After that he told me everything. Hewas entering his house when a taxi had parked in front of ours. Hikaru had fainted again. He and Touya Akira had carried the body here. Touya had told him about his conversation with Hikaru and about Hikaru's last word.

" That Bastard!" I cursed wrathfully, " I should have known it, it's him again!"

" Sai, What happens? Where is Hikaru?"

I narrated a story from my side…about the letter. Now we switched our places, I was fully awake while he was asleep.

It took me weeks to pull myself together again. Hikaru was quite careful this time. He knew that if he just disappeared the way I had, I would walk the same path as he used to. That was why he left the letter. I decided to follow his request, I became a brand new Shindou-pro, a polite one. And yes, I still played Go.

I myself didn't want to play the game anymore. What was the pointof playing it if Hikaru wasn't here? Actually what was the point of living if I hadn't him by my side?

It was because of him! Touya Akira, Oh god! I couldn't describe how much I hated him. Hatred and anger…wasn't enough. I didn't know how to put this strong feeling into words. I didn't even know if there was a word for it. I didn't know before that I was capable of having this kind of feeling. All I knew was I hated him. I really did. From the bottom of my soul, every living cell in this body was calling out his name with hatred.

But Hikaru loved him, he loved his arrogant boy. I tried my best to love him as the way Hikaru loved him but I couldn't. Comparing to the Hand of God, loving this boy was much much harder. I had thought love was strong but hatred was even stronger. So I pretended to be friend with him, to be nice with him. If Hikaru didn't ask me to, I swore to God, I would kill him. He was the one who made Hikaru disappear.

This was my life now. I was one of the brightest stars in the Go world. I was the most talented player that they had ever seen. Not only pros but everyone admired me.

Then what? What have I got?

I had everything that they dreamt for but I didn't have the only thing that I really wanted. I didn't have to reason to live, I didn't have Hikaru, therefore I had nothing. I forgot how to laugh since I didn't have to him to share my joy. That was why I always dressed in black and never laughed. I was alone again. Every night I slept, I went to our little world but Neverland existed no more. There was only Hikaru lying on the bed surrounding by the candles. That was it. That all I got : Candles and Sleeping Hikaru who never smiled back at me.

Fin.

A/N : Woo, what a sad ending! At first, I wanted Sai to be back in the darkness again like the day he was born but it's too sad. So I left him with Sleeping Hikaru. I don't know if you notice this but the conversation between Sai and Ken-chan in chapter 8 and 9 is the same as Turn back time chapter 1-2 .

Thanks for all comment and all support. Let's enjoy Finding Seiji!

kari : Yeah, it's sad,isn't it? By the way,I'm gladyou like" I'll be back", there's a sequel called " He is back". If you read it, don't foeget to leave a review.

siobhn01 : If Hikaru didn't left the letter, Sai would have killed Akira by now.

gravitation gig : Yeah, so caring so protective.