Gesch! sighs this was the most boring chapter I've ever writen... that has to be Ron, he's ruining my fiction angry sigh but he's nesessery so... ah - whet evrer - enjoy.

As usual I have to thank my beta, she's just the greatest :)

And just as usual - The lyric writen in italic style isn't mine, it belongs to The offsprings and is called "Gone away"

Thanks to all my Reviewers - you're the greatest!

Gone Away

Maybe in another life
I could find you there
pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair

He was alone; alone in the darkness, lost without light. He was so afraid, so lonely, it felt almost as if he was dead; the living dead. Sanity or insanity, he gambled with death, searched for a reason to live, a reason to die.

"Hermione!"

An echo bounced in his head, a word, a name repeated in his dark loneliness. It twisted, hunted and reminded him. Reminded him of a warm embrace, a lovely smile and a pair of warm, chocolate brown eyes. He could almost feel her gentle touch as if she caressed his cheeks and twirled his hair around her soft, fragile fingers.

"Hermione, my Hermione!"

In his darkness a light of sanity lit up, the name of his beloved echoed in his mind, that echo held him sane in a world of weird darkness that kept him prisoner. It ached, hurt, tormented and plagued him every second, every minute and hour of his living-dead state.

"Ron…?"

A weak voice spoke in his mind, soothing his pain, reaching out for the sane part of his mind. He felt like he was falling down, falling in a black shroud of emptiness. He just wanted to rest, wanted some peace and someone to comfort him.

"Hermione… Hermione, my Hermione," he mumbled and the soft light overwhelmed him, slowly he returned to the reality.


And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away

Truth be told, she didn't know why she was there. What was she hoping for? A miracle? He lay there as if he was dead; the only thing that told the surroundings that he was alive was the faint sound of his thumping heart and the irregular puffs off his breath.

Her fingers searched for his hand, they were cold as if all blood were drained from them and the rest of his body… and the only thing that kept his body from rotting away was some magical power. She sniffled behind her napkin, trying to be brave. But it was hard… so hard seeing him lying there like a corpse before a funeral. His copper red hair was spread all over his pillow, like a crown but he did need a good haircut she noticed. His freckles seemed to be fading away from lack of sunshine, his skin was deadly pale, so pale that he almost disappeared amongst his white sheets and pillows.

On the table beside his bed she saw a bunch of white roses in a crystal vase; they still seemed to be brand new and Hermione knew that Molly came to visit her son every now and then, even though there was no hope for him. It hurt deep inside Hermione to know that Ron would lie here and slowly fade away… be forgotten. That life would pass him by and that he would die without anyone noticing, until the bad smell of a rotting body would alarm the doctors about his state.

She twirled his hair around her fingers, almost tugging at it, as if she secretly hoped that he would wake up from the little amount of pain she caused him. Maybe she wished too hard because she thought she saw his eyelashes blink one or two times.

"Ron…?" She breathed in a faint voice, not daring to hope for an answer.

There was no answer, just as she expected. She sighed and thought about her own destiny. Today was that day, the third time she would be forced to meet Lucius Malfoy before their wedding. She didn't want to meet him and that was the main reason to why she was here at Ron's bedside. No one would chance upon finding her here… no one. And that, at least, comforted her a bit.

"Hermione… Hermionemyhermione…"

She almost had a heart attack, this was a sick joke… he wasn't? Could he? Was he about to wake up? She drew a shaky breath, titling forward and placed a hand upon Ron's pale, white forehead. She heard another sound from his chest, he coughed she realised.

"RON!" She screamed, as if a faint coughing sound was the sound of heaven's golden trumpets.

His eyelashes blinked once again, this time she was sure. Her heart raced in her chest, she felt like crying and laughing at the same time. With a shaky hand she caressed his cheeks, this time she could feel warmth, as if she touched a living creature.

"Hermione?" Her names on his lips made her feel warm inside and she started crying.

"Yes, Ron, I'm here… I'm with you," she whispered still caressing his cheek.

"I'm dreaming…" he mumbled and finally opening his eyes, his blue irises sparkled in the faint light that streamed from those horrible hospital lamps in the ceiling.

"No you're not," she spoke frantically, afraid that he would fall back into his darkness.

"No I'm not," he said and smiled a faint smile, he raised his right hand and captured her hand in his, "No I'm not… this is too real to be a dream."

"Oh, Ron! You have no idea but how much I've missed you," she cried.

"Hey… its okay, Hermione, see I'm awake now and nothing can separate us again," he said and smiled again.


Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me

I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would

'Oh he's got no idea but how hurtful that sentence was!' She thought and sniffled, refusing to meet his eyes, 'He is so wrong, there's one large THING in our way.'

"What's the matter, Hermione, why are you crying?" He asked.

"I… I'm…" She couldn't tell him, simply couldn't… such shame and such pain.

"You've got someone else?" He asked and she could almost hear how his voice broke, "is it Harry?"

"No…" She answered in a dead voice, "He'll soon marry your sister."

"Well that's… that's good, isn't it?" Ron stuttered.

"Yeah… I guess," Hermione said, still avoiding Ron's eyes.

"What is it, Hermione?" Ron said in a weak voice, "Don't you love me?"

"It's not about that, Ron… it's… oh!" She started crying again as she gave him her ministry letter, the letter that contained the marriage law, the letter she always carried with her and read when she got a chance, always hoping that she would find a loophole.

"I can't read… my vision is all blurred, I can't see properly," Ron mumbled in a calm voice as he handed the letter back to her.

"A-a-alright," she stuttered and drew a deep breath, bracing herself and then started reading, "According to article 20, purebloods are called upon this law to find an appropriate wife or husband amongst the muggle born and half blood witches or wizards whom have reached appropriate age…"

Ron kept calm all the way through the letter, not interrupting her one single time. He closed his eyes and Hermione had to stop, still fearing that he would fall back to his former sleep, but he was still awake and she kept on reading.

"According to the second item in article 20, when the proposal has been made the couple will meet twice a week under a cycle of four weeks, in the fifth week the ceremony has to take place… signed, Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister of Magic…"

"So you are… um… engaged with someone else?" He finally asked, still holding her hand.

"Yes," she answered, lowering her gaze and stared at her feet.

The room fell silent, Ron didn't speak, and Hermione didn't even dare to look at him, not him, not anywhere but at her feet. After a long time of silence Ron finally spoke.

"Who?"

"It's… it's… I mean, he…" Lucius' name stuck in her throat, it was like his name would poison everything in their nearness. She swallowed and concentrated on her feet which today wore a pair of red socks with green spots.

"Is it anyone that I know about?" He asked, still sounding calm but Hermione feared the storm that his temper could cause.

She nodded, still not daring to take her eyes of that green spot on her socks, that spot seemed very friendly and interesting. She heard Ron draw a couple of deep breaths before he asked.

"Is it someone in my family? Fred? Gorge? Bill? Charlie? Percy!"

"At first it was Fred," She admitted in a whispering tone.

"At first?" Ron asked, raising his voice one octave or two.

"I received more then one offer," She admitted, her voice broke. She was close to tears once again.

"More then one. Hermione, who made the other proposal?" Ron whispered. She could feel how he stared at her, probably in shock.

"L-l-l… it was… Lu…" She stuttered. His name felt like dirt in her mouth.

"Lu-Lu-what? Hermione, WHO are you going to marry?" Ron almost shouted now, he was about to raise his head from his pillow but Hermione stopped him halfway up and pressed him down in the mattress again.

"Lucius Malfoy," She answered in a low tone, hiding her face in her hands.

"Oh… Lucius Malfoy, come on, Hermione! Who are you going to marry?"

"I'm telling the truth, Ron," she whispered.

"Lucius Malfoy… b-b-but didn't the good side win? I thought, I thought that if you were alright a-a-and I'm here at the hospital… then… then?"

"We won, Ron… we did… but so did Lucius," she spat.

"That… that BASTARD!" Ron shouted and this time he rose from his bed, capturing Hermione's wrists with strength she didn't know he was capable of after such long time in a living-dead-state.

"Stop, Ron, you're hurting me!" She shrieked.

"Why, Hermione? WHY?"

"He's got the money, Ron, he wants the primary post… he needs me to… he needs me because he needs to marry a powerful witch so that he can produce a healthy magical child and…"

"You are going to marry him!" Ron shouted and his cheeks were as red as his hair, "You're going to marry him just like that?"

"Marry him or end up in Azkaban…" Hermione whispered, "Do you wish that I ended up in Azkaban, Ron… rather than marry Lucius? I… I'll do it for you…"

"No, Hermione… I… I didn't mean that… I don't want you in Azkaban… I want you here beside me! You were meant for me, Hermione! FOR ME!"

"That's… that's impossible," she whispered.

"I love you," He said and embraced her; Hermione buried her nose in his chest, smelling the scent of his body, feeling the warmth of his embrace, listening to his heartbeat.

"I love you too," she whispered, "I love you, love you"

"I'll kill him…" Ron threatened, stroking her head with his palm, "I'll kill him and then we can be together, I promise."

"Just don't do anything stupid, it wouldn't help much if you ended up in Azkaban instead of me."

"Don't worry, Hermione… my Hermione…"

"Please let me stay with you tonight," she whispered, "Don't tell anyone that you are awake. Let me stay with you… one night, one night completely for ourselves."

He didn't answer; he just kissed the top of her head, then her cheeks and her mouth. She answered with a passion she didn't know she was capable of. Their tongues danced, clumsy of course but full of passion, love, sorrow and hate.

"This was unexpected…" A silky voice drawled from the doorframe, "Young Mr. Weasley, don't you know that it's totally forbidden too kiss another man's wife?"

"Malfoy…" Ron hissed. His grip around Hermione tightened whilst Hermione buried her face in his chest, not daring to meet the other man whom she knew now approached from behind.

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away

sighs boring? I know and i'm sorry for that mr. Malfoy just got one or two words in this one sad but true...