Hi everyone!

This chapter is a bit lame, maybe boring – but it had to be done so I hope you'll forgive me, because something as touching as the last chapter won't be found in this.

Disclaimer: They are NOT mine, will never ever be - they ARE JK's for the 16:th time

Disclaimer: The lyric doesn't belong to me - belongs in this chapter to In Flames and is called "Square Nothing"

All credit touching grammar, spelling or stuff like that goes to my beta shyngr8 (shy-n-great)

But other ways - ENJOY :)

Confusion

For all the times you left me bleeding
Clouded, weakened by the haze
Cut of my pride, enough to forgive
Reconcile, back to square nothing

All of a sudden she was awake; everything came crashing down on her. She stared numbly at the ceiling as chaos approached inside her, she felt like screaming, screaming until everything was gone; gone into nothing, gone into history, gone into her imagination.

'I did it, I did it, and I didn't even fight him… I let him…'

She drew a deep, shaky breath. She could remember everything, every little detail; it played before her eyes just like a movie. But the strange thing was, it felt like a movie, just as if she hadn't been there, she hadn't been able to control herself….just done as she'd been told.

'Oh my god, I didn't mean it to happen that way.'

'I need a shower.'

'You are behaving as if you've been raped.'

'Well, it wasn't far from it.'

She got up from Lucius' bed, he was asleep; she could hear his calm breathing emerging from the darkness on her right side. Her bare feet landed on the cold stone-floor, she shivered as the cold spread over her body. She fumbled along the bedside and grabbed a sheet; she wrapped it around her thin body. She stumbled around in the darkness, not quite sure what she was looking for. After a while she did find something though, a door handle. She opened the door in front of her, quietly stepping inside, she fumbled along the wall, felling the coldness of a tiled wall, a bathroom!

"Lumos funditus," she whispered, hoping that her little amount of knowledge in wandless magic would be enough to light up the bathroom.

Slowly and with a slightly reduced light, two or three candles started glowing; she sighed, it had to do because she was sure that she couldn't master any more than that. When focus had returned she was, for the first time, able to see Lucius' bathroom.

It was breathtaking, simply breathtaking….beautiful. The ocean blue walls matched the deep blue clinker floor with an exact colour scheme, the roof was in the shape of a vault, chalk white and adorned with blue shining stones. Lowered into the floor was a huge, if not enormous bathtub, if Hermione didn't know better she would have called it a swimming pool. In one corner she spotted a shower with golden touches and water taps. Along the walls crept green climbing plants, sprung from their huge, white and blue pots. She found a toilet, huge enough to be called a throne and a washbasin which went in a baroque style; over that washbasin she found an enormous mirror.

She stepped inside the shower, not daring to fill the bathtub. Careful, and without making too much noise, she turned on the shower, feeling the delight as hot, streaming water came in contact with her trembling body. She sighed and began rubbing her tense shoulders, letting the hot stream relax the nervous knots in her soul.

She wasn't done until her body had turned red as a lobster and her skin was wrinkled as a raisin. When she finally stepped out of the shower she saw that the whole bathroom had been bathed in fog, due to her hot shower. She found a towel and dried her body and hair, after that she walked out from the bathroom, letting the light fade away into darkness. She made her way to the huge windows and withdrew the (by now) closed draperies, letting the gentle and wan daylight into Lucius' and hers bedroom.

She heard his deep, gentle breathing from the bed, un-willingly her eyes started to look at him, her husband. He who had been a Death Eater, he who had murdered, raped, plagued and tortured numerous innocent people, he who in this strange light was… beautiful. His otherwise sneering features were calm; his wrinkles along his eyes were blended into a smooth surface. His blond hair streamed all over his pillow and his pale, soft beard stubble shimmered in the silvery daylight. Lucius' upper body was as pale as his face and his light muscular chest was adorned with pale hair which, from Hermione's point of view, seemed soft. His arms were muscular, not as if he'd been working out at a gym or something but Hermione could see his tense muscles under his soft, white and frail skin.

'It would be so easy… so easy to take a pillow and suffocate him…'

'The Ministry would investigate… but they aren't used to this kind of murder, they are used to spells, but no psychical assault…'

'To them it would look like a normal death…. no signs of magic, nothing…'

'Are you capable of murder? Would you stand it?'

Quietly she made her way to the bed, with trembling hands she picked up a pillow. She drew a deep breath, he still slept like a baby… it would be so easy. She tiptoed over to his bedside, standing there for a minute, watching him breathe. Soon she would stop that breathing, soon she would take her revenge, soon she would avenge those women he'd raped, those men and children, mothers and fathers he'd killed.

'I hope this will hurt.'

She prepared herself and then she flung forward with the pillow. But she felt herself grow cold as his right hand, fast as a snake had her own in a tight iron grip, tight enough to make her whimper in pain. She saw how his eyes, as if in a slow motion movie, opened. They were slightly narrowed as he slowly rose from his lying position, she gulped, and all of a sudden her plan didn't seem so smart.

"Well, well, well, trying to kill me, Hermione?" he drawled, his voice dripping of sarcasm.

"Yes," she hissed, trying to wriggle her hand loose from his, still holding the emerald green pillow in a tight grip.

"But why with a pillow, I might ask?" His jaws were clenched and she could see how his smooth skin tensed around his jaw-bones.

"Because it would fit a man like you to die that way," she managed to say; rage took the better side of her, making her angry instead of scared.

"My dear wife," he spat, putting extra pressure on the last word, "I can't have you trying to kill me, and I most certainly can't have you treating me with this outrageous disrespect."

"I'll only treat those who deserve respect with respect," she spat back, making sure not to break eye contact with his blazing, grey irises, "You are nothing but a murderer, a man of violence, a despicable rapist, a villain, you're not worthy of my respect."

He stared at her, narrowing his eyes even more if possible. Slowly, whilst still holding her arm in a painful grip he crawled off the bed forcing her to back away. He rose before her, towering above her, staring her down with his icy stare which usually would have made her shiver, but right now she was too worked up by the situation to be scared or even a slightly bit frightened.

"Sooner or later you'll realise just how wrong you are… I am very much worthy of your respect, if you want to keep yourself alive," he growled, clearly about to explode sooner or later, sadly enough for Hermione, she was too angry to take notice of the approaching danger.

"You are evil, no, you're PATHETIC!" Just as the last word left her mouth she regretted it, it became clear to her with whom she was dealing with, and the fact that she'd just called the man, who's highest struggle was to gain respect and power, pathetic, was not a good idea.

"We'll see about that," he hissed and in one swift movement he had thrown her on the bed.

'Alright, this is the moment when he is going to rape you, nicely done, Hermione.'

She felt him as he, with his whole bodyweight, pressed her down into the mattress. For a while he just lay there, Hermione had problems breathing and she didn't know what he would do next. What he would do to her she could only imagine.

"Do you feel it, Hermione? Do you suddenly understand? Is it fear, Hermione?" He purred close to her ear, she felt his hot breath as it tickled her neck. "You see, Hermione, I could do what I want with you now….break your neck for instance; you know I could…..am I pathetic, Hermione? How could power be pathetic?"

"You are despicable," she whispered into the mattress.

"I am powerful," he whispered and kissed her neck lightly, "Remember that, I could break your neck, snap it in two, I could torture you for days. You know my past; don't challenge fate."

He withdrew from her, she felt how she could breath freely again. She turned around and found him standing there, watching her with a strange look upon his face; half friendly, half scary.

"I'm going to do some errands today, some arrangements have to be done," he watched her for a mere second before he continued, "My house-elves will see to your needs, you are welcome to investigate the manor but don't I repeat DON'T open doors which are locked."

He swept into the bathroom and after a while he came out fully clothed, before he left their bedroom he stopped in the doorframe and spoke.

"You'll find your clothes in a wardrobe in the next room, they've been sent here."

"Where's my cat?" She suddenly asked, remembering her pet.

"Do you really think that I would have a cat in my home?" he sneered.

"He's my friend," she wailed, "You must let me have him here."

"Goodbye, Hermione," he spoke to her in a mocking tone and then left the room.

It seems I lost my direction
don't have the strength to let it slip
Have no desire for the shore
Just let me play here for some time

Spend some quality time with the demon of mine
I like the way you struggle but you know I'm here to win
Spent some quality time with my borrowed smile
the gleam is replaced, rip me open and erase me

After quite some time she got up from the bed. For a while she just walked around the bedroom, still only clothed in a sheet. Then, when daylight shone through the windows, she finally decided to get dressed. She walked into the bathroom once again, this time she found a door which she, during her earlier visit, hadn't noticed. She opened the door and found herself in a huge wardrobe.

The room contained one small corridor which had to be at least fifteen meters long; there lain an emerald green carpet over the dark brown oak parquet flooring. One couldn't see the walls in this enormous wardrobe, because from floor to roof it only contained closets….closets that were made of oak and ebony.

'Sweet Merlin! Who owns so much clothing? One wouldn't have time to wear all of them in one lifetime.'

'I bet that Lucius has at least a thousand different suits.'

She opened one of the (at least) hundred closets and found it stuffed with beautiful vests in silk, velvet and in some rare cases linen, all of them were rare, extraordinary and smelled as if they were newly bought. She kept on opening doors and found out how Lucius organized his life; he had five, five closets stuffed with undergarments. In at least ten of his closets she found vests and other 'lighter' clothing, she found twenty full closets containing; classical wizard robes (they looked like night-gowns) and trousers in different colours, mostly green and black. In thirty of his closets she found shirts, cotton shirts, cloaks and one box full with silk ribbons in different colours. In one closet she found shoes, boots and some sandals. When she reached the last closet (on her right side, there was still fifty closets remaining on her left side) she found it locked, locked with a complicated spell. This fact made her very, very curious.

'I wonder what he's keeping in there; this isn't some easy handled wards. They've been made with extra knowledge and cunning… worthy for a professor's chamber… I wonder…'

"Accio wand."

She waited impatiently for minutes, nothing happened. She growled deep down in her throat, that bastard had prevented her from having her wand. She drew a deep breath and then, with all the force she was capable of she called again.

"ACCIO WAND! A-C-C-I-O W-A-N-D!"

Then she heard a weak thumping sound from one of the closets on her left side, she turned around and followed it. It sounded like a pen tapping on a traditional school bench, or like marbles that fell to the ground. After a while she found the suspicious closet and then opened it. She was about to be hit in the face when a wand with ultra speed flew through the air, she ducked quickly and her piece of magical wood hit the closet behind her before falling with a clatter to the ground.

'Now, Lucius, I'll investigate what you're hiding behind those wards,' she thought as she picked up her wand from the floor and started to walk slowly toward Lucius' last closet.

She stood in front of his closet for minutes, only investigating which spells he'd been using, after about thirty minutes she felt that she had all the knowledge she needed to open the door, without trigging the alarm or leaving any traces of her visit.

'First of all he's using a simple warding charm, probably to conceal his next, much heavier ward which must be the Medusa's ward. Now this ward turns the intruder into stone, leaving them petrified until the one who cast the ward returns to un-petrify them,' She thought and tapped her wand against her chin in a thoughtful gesture.

'After that I'm pretty sure that he's combined a Fear ward with an alarm ward…… but after that… my, my, my, this one's complicated, I think it's a Wildsmith ward…'

She drew a deep breath and began with careful movements un-warding the two first wards, they came off easily, she had even had Medusa's ward on her N.E.W.T's. The double ward created some problems, due to its double nature, she had to take detours around the alarm ward but then she had to face the difficulties with the Fear ward. After that she had to confront the Wildsmith ward, a ward which would take her directly to Lucius or some place elsewhere where he would keep intruders until he had time to deal with them. But she overcame that ward too, even though it brought sweat that tickled down her back.

Then it came, the shock. Behind the Wildsmith ward she sensed another, heavy and very, very dark ward. It felt like she had walked directly into a deep blackness when she touched it with her senses. It didn't take long for her to figure out what it was that she'd discovered; it was dark magic, evil magic, forbidden magic.

"Voldemort's guarding charm," she breathed.

This charm was invented by the Dark Lord during the war, it caused the Order many problems during the aftermath of the war, after Voldemort had fallen and they had to free all of his prisoners deep down in his dungeons. This ward, spell, curse or whatever one would like to call it was hard to break and it caused an enormous amount of pain to the one whom made a mistake in the un-warding process.

'Sweet Merlin, don't let me make a mistake now,' she thought and began, with trembling movements and with sweaty hands to undo Lucius' last, heavy and evil ward. After what seemed like an hour she made it. With a welcoming 'click' it swung the closet door open and revealed…

Is this how I want to spend my days?
Shadowed, it fears me, my utopia
Try to find some peace to destroy

These are my sins, I'm heading to fall
Never understood though I accepted
All the weakness that I discover
You gave me a place to hide and lost the key
Drowned my head just to see it sink

"Oh my god… Holy Creator… shit…" she breathed as she studied what was inside.

On an otherwise empty and central shelf lay one black cloak with black robes. At the bottom of the closet she found one pair of special made black boots that carried the Dark Mark, on one simple hook a white mask hung. Its empty eyes and grimacing mouth stared at her, she felt herself grow cold as she saw it, and she felt the panic which dwelled inside the darkness of its empty eyes. She could easily replace those black tunnels with one pair of sparkling, blue-grey irises…

'Close this door, Hermione, close it and don't open it again,' she thought and closed the door with trembling hands. All of a sudden she felt cold, sick and afraid. Afraid yet the man who had hidden inside those clothes and mask wasn't present.

"Ron. No, RON!"

The redhead fell to the ground; he was hit again, his body cramped. His hands reached for the sky, his cry mixed with thousands of other cries.

"And where do you think you're going, Mudblood?"

"Don't die, Hagrid, please don't die," Harry bent over the half-giant's massive body, the black haired, enormous man on the cold stone floor drew a husky breath and smiled weakly as he, with one hand, gave Harry a friendly pet on his head.

"…Every one has to, Harry… every… one… oh, it hurts…"

"You're going to die, Mudblood. Scream for me."

Hermione's body lay listless on a dark dungeon floor, a man in a white mask stood bent over her; he had his wand directed at her throat as he, with enormous satisfaction, screamed a curse. She screamed, screamed for him and he laughed, laughed as if there was no tomorrow.

"Scream for me."

"Scream."

She had closed the door, re-installed his wards and was now sitting in one corner of his huge wardrobe, still wrapped in a deep blue silk sheet and with tears streaming down her cheeks. She quivered uncontrollably, her mouth went dry and she felt cold, deadly cold.

'I can't stay here…I must get out… I must…' a panicked voice whispered inside her head.

'Calm down, C-A-L-M DOWN,' her logical voice told her irritably.

'He's going to kill me, I'm sure of it. He's a Death Eater, he hates me.'

'Scream for me… scream,' an echo from the past shouted in her head, mixing with her own pictures and memories from her visit in the Death Eater's nest.

'Calm DOWN.'

'SCREAM FOR ME!'

'Stop it,'

'Scream, Mudblood, scream for me….. let me see your pain….. scream,'

'Sto-'

'Scream.'

"ARGGGGGGGGG!" she threw her head backwards and screamed, screamed at the top of her lungs, panic gripped tightly around her throat. A jolt of pain shot through her body, her mind made her repeat her worst traumas, it felt so real.

'Scream… scream… that's right… scream,'

"Mrs? Mrs!"

Some one shook her shoulders violently; she opened her eyes and found herself face to face with the poorest creature in history. The house-elf had a brownish skin, it was dirty and here and there she recognized cuts, bruises and half healed wounds. It had lost one ear, the other one hung at the right side of the creature's head making a wounded expression. It wore a dirty, feeble towel around its thin and starving weak waist.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry to awake, Mrs, but she screamed, yes she did," it stuttered and withdrew from Hermione, crawling backwards and backed up against a closet, making sure not to face Hermione or meet her eyes.

"Nothing to worry about," Hermione spoke weakly, her chest tightened at the sight of this poor creature, her own sorrows were forgotten, she'd found her new project.

"N-n-nothing t-t-to worry about? Mrs says it's nothing to w-w-worry about?"

"What's your name?" Hermione politely asked making sure that her tone was a soft one.

"Dust," he answered and made a terrible excuse of a bow, "at your service, Mrs… you are master's new wife aren't you?"

"Yes I am," she confirmed, "And you can call me Hermione, not Mrs, not mistress, nothing but Hermione, do you understand?"

"No, no, no, I can't call you by your first given name. I can't even call you by your surname……nonononono! I'm not allowed to do that, master will-"

"My name's Hermione, you're free to use it," Hermione assured, "And I won't tell your master."

"Dust will gladly call Mrs Malfoy Hermione. Dust like master's new wife. Would Hermione like Duster to help her get dressed?"

"I would be delighted."

Spend some quality time with the demon of mine
"I like the way you struggle but you know I'm here to win"
Spent some quality time with my borrowed smile
The gleam is replaced, rip me open and erase me

Spent some quality time with the demon of mine
"I like the way you struggle but you know I'm here to win"
Spent some quality time with my borrowed smile
The gleam is replaced, rip me open and erase me

Feedback on reviews :)


Vera-Sabe:

Hi Vera-Sabe! And thanks for a marvellous review, I must tell you that you've just beaten all records, your review is by far (in my fanfic) the longest and most adorable :) even though I suspect just a little bit of exaggeration. But I have to share your credit with my beta, because she's the one who are making all the corrections (I'm from Sweden and my grammar could be better )

Yes, I've had some very great responses on chapter 15, I liked it to, and my first "erotic" scène in my writing ever so I'm pretty proud of it. So you liked chapter eight? You have to be the first; I got very few reviews on that one – even though I laughed the whole "shower" scene because I just had this very funny picture of a soaking wet Lucius playing inside my head.

Change for the better, eh? Well, for Hermiones sakes one could only hope, no? And I agree with you, Lucius Malfoy is by far the sexiest character in JK's universe. People keep babbling about Sirius, Remus and Snape – but to me – Lucius Malfoy is the sexiest… and the actor added to that –mmm–

So you'd like him to be a bit nicer? Well I can't promise you that, but I've got no intentions of letting him hurt Hermione (badly) – but to me he won't be Lucius if he's not evil. But at some point you're right, I can't have him being evil if they'll have a child so I'll just work that out :P

Hope you liked this chapter and I'M waiting at the edge of my seat for another lovely review from you, reviews like yours making me want to write more – it's encouraging me to do my best.

Oliver's Quidditch Crazy:
You know what? Your Review left me breathless, I was pretty down when I got it and it made me a bit happier, thanks for that. I'm very proud over the fact that I've succeeded to convert a scared fic-reader into LM/HG… now I'm only waiting for you to become obsessed –rub my hands– I'm very glad that you like my writing style :) it brings sunshine into my world.

Yeah, the Pansy/Seamus thing actually kept me laughing to for a while or so, but actually – the idea of that reaction weren't mine – I picked it up some where and modified it – but can't remember where. Yeah, I'm probably upsetting a whole world of Ron/Hermione shippers, but it has to be done, JK's going to have them end up together anyways so it's not interesting to write about it.

So you liked Draco? Yeah, I'm very proud of him to; he turned out to be just as evil as he is in the books. I hate it when people are making him sugar-cute or even nice :S it doesn't fit his character to be nice… or what do you think? –Hehe– and about that necklace… -dun dun- you'll have to stay true to find out :)

Apollonia2:
Hey, my fateful reviewer – I'm glad you liked my 15:th chapter, I liked it myself :) I hope you found this chapter just as satisfying, or at least readable.

Dark Secret1
The reason why Hermione didn't fight Lucius were that she were in a trance-like state, caused by the wedding-dress… it's a plot which will explain that later on because one piece of white fabric can change lives… that's ONE reason, the other one is that I didn't want her to fight because then he had to fight and it would have ended up as rape and I didn't want Lucius to rape her… I actually hasn't the slightest idea when I'll end this story – not yet because there's a lot to be done before I can write "THE END"

Jay FicLover

I'm sorry Jay, I can't start another fanfic right now, I'm of the opinion that one has to complete what one has started – may I suggest that you writ it yourself? There's not enough LM/HG pairings out there in the fic-world, why don't you begin to fill that empty space? Thanks for reviewing :)

Sexy-jess:
First of all – thanks – I really appreciate your reviews. –laughs– I know what it's like, I got embarrassed time to time while writing it ;)

Storygirl2009

I'm glad that you liked the fact that she liked it. Because to me Lucius has been some kind of symbol for good sex –choughs– don't know why, so to me its natural that he can satisfy a woman, even though she doesn't like him – sounds complicated, no?

And I'm also glad that you like my description, I've been working on it. I've been caught by his charms, because he's beautiful – that kind of man whom would pass 40 without noticing. That kind of man whom still would be admired by younger girls even though it's "forbidden" for them to look. Erhm, you thought this chapter would be awesome… so, here it is – liked it? I think it's a bit lame but it still caught a bit of my interest… I liked the house-elf… I'll tell my beta that you liked the grammar and spelling, she's the one responsible you know. Thanks for reviewing :)

I'd also like to thank:

Paprika, Morrigane, Mysteriousneptune17, CharmedLeoLvr, Hotskittles, xxXGoddessXofXdeadXloveXxx, Sexy she-devil and Sneezlemo for reviewing :) and the one who's been left out has to e-mail me and yell at me for doing that :) THANKS!

Thanks to my wonderful Beta, she's the best – what would I do without her?

Sneak peak:

S.P.E.W's not dead! Hermione in action, a confused Dust and a… angry, pissed off and totally freaked out Lucius?