And here they were: The Sound Four, about to play their first important live.
"We're changing the name," Sakon said as he strode into the dressing room, a towel drapped over his other half.
"What the fuck's wrong with our name?" Tayuya said, leaning against the wall.
"Our leader doesn't like it because Kimimarou made it up," Kidoumaru said as he tuned his massive, 24-string double guitar with a grin.
"Hey! That's not it!"
"Oh yeah? Ever since he went on the Shinobi Idol show and left us, you've lost it."
"Shut up! It has nothing to do with him! Sound Four is a lame name, it always has been. It's small time, we need something big, something grand!"
"Like that hole in your ass, faggot?" Tayuya said.
Sakon rubbed his temples for a long moment, "Tayuya, shut up. Kidoumaru, shut up. Jiroubu, shut up."
"Jiroubu's not even here," Kidoumaru said without looking up.
"You're kidding me? We go on in ten minutes!"
"The fucking fat ass is still in the bathroom, I'll go get him," Tayuya said, putting her sticks on the chair and standing up.
"Be gentle! I don't need him breaking down before we go on," Sakon said.
"I'll be fucking gentle, don't tangle your pearls." Tayuya said as she strode off.
Sakon folded his arms with a sigh. "We'll stick with the sound theme so we don't have to change our stage show, but the name has to go."
Kidoumaru plucked on a few strings, "Sound of Rock?"
In the background, Tayuya could be heard slamming on the bathroom door.
"Nah...Sound Club 4?"
"...You serious?"
"Not really..."
"Shit or get off the pot, lardo!" Tayuya bellowed.
"Heartbeat Brigade?"
"What the hell does that have to do with Sound?"
"...Heartbeats make sound."
"I'm fucking serious! Don't make me fucking come in there! I will give you the fucking swirly of your fucking life, bitchtits!" Tayuya again.
Sakon paused for a second, "Heartbeats make sound..."
Kidoumaru paused and looked up at the band leader, "Uh..."
"Heartbeat sound..."
"Oh...don't..."
"Heartbeat Sound 4!" Sakon stood up quickly, his lips curling into a wicked smile.
"That's like the same name."
"It's a great name!"
"You've fucking killed everyone in the goddamn arena with the smell of ass, you tubby piece of shit!" Tayuya's voice again, followed by a loud smash, a girlish scream (not Tayuya's) and the sound of splashing water.
"You named us what?" said Tayuya, returning from the bathroom with a soaking wet Jiroubu. "That's the gayest fucking name I've ever heard. You're so fucking gay, you lipstick wearing pussy!"
"The name stays. Stop arguing and get ready to go on. Oh for...Jiroubu, stop crying! There's nothing more pathetic than a fat person crying! Tayuya, I told you to be gentle!"
"The lard wouldn't fuckin' listen."
"I-i-it's okay...I-I-I can still play, I'll show you g-g-guys how good I am!" Jiroubu said, tears streaking his face and snot leaking out his nose.
Sakon
turned away, ignoring Jiroubu's blubbering. Honestly, a dead housefly
would make the guy cry. But he was a decent bassist, and he put up with
Tayuya's abuse, which made him indispensible. It had been a long, hard
road from Sound Village, made even harder when Kimimarou left the
group. He and Sakon had put the group together, gotten them off their
feet and written all the songs. Without Kimimarou, Sakon was driving
this ship all by himself. Sure, Ukon was there, but he mostly just hid
in his back, emerging only for lives and the occassional groupie.
Tuning everything out in his head as Tayuya yelled at him, Kidoumaru,
Jiroubu, an ill-placed houseplant, God, the population of the Country
of Fire, and the Honor Bar, Sakon closed his eyes.
Tayuya. Loud,
abrassive, abusive, destructive and alcoholic. Also possibly the most
musically gifted member in the entire group. She could play any
instrument known to man, and had sold out arenas playing the flute at a
young age. However, she settled on the drums, the perfect outlet for
her inborn hostility.
Kidoumaru. His four-armed lead guitarist. He
was genetically made to play guitar, his four arms doing the work of an
entire string section. The prankster, the sardonic core.
Jiroubu.
The weak link. By far the least talented, but the tension between him
and Tayuya added a special fire to the rhythm section and, if pressed
to admit it, was the secret to their recent success.
The lights
flashed a few times as Sakon's eyes snapped open. Pulling the towel off
his back, he tapped Ukon on the head. "Time to rock." Ukon sat up,
his upper body emerging from Sakon's back. Sakon walked to the guitar
rack and handed one back to the rhythm guitarist and fifth member of
the Heartbeat Sound 4.
"This is it..." Sakon said, addressing his troops. "This is the time of Heartbeat Sound 4"
"That name is beyond gay"
"Tayuya!"