Lucius Malfoy had never been one to beat around the bush. If he did, then he either felt impulsed to do it after a long day of boredom, or he did it because he felt like it, and did not give a damn about how it affected the receiving end of the bad news.
But honestly, who gives a rat's ass about Lucius Malfoy? Well, maybe Nar… no, no, couldn't be. His son? Hell no. Voldemort? Couldn't happen, he's never given a flying fuck about anyone. Oh! I've got it! There was that one hamster, at that one time… Yes! That hamster! "The most loyal thing I've ever met," says Lucius.
Amazing, isn't it? Hurry! Alert the presses! My god, the world is going to end! Its… Its… dare I say it? IT'S THE FIRST OF APRIL! RUN AWAY! THE HORROR!
P.S: The green bunny wearing the straitjacket –yes, the green bunny- made me write that. So onto the real story.
A day in the life of a death eater:
1 Awaken
2 Shower
3 Feed yourself
4 Walk the hamster
5 Grovel at the dark lords feet
6 Have your wife and/or husband feed you
7 Grovel more
8 Gurgle mouthwash
9 Grovel. Bring shrubbery.
10 Nap
11 Wake the hell up
12 Put straitjacket on, but not without resistance.
13 Get force-fed fish food
14 Entertain yourself. In the bouncy room. Just not near me. I wish to retain my remaining sanity. No matter how hard it will be.
15 Act vain and gay. Mostly gay. It'll get you out in a hurry. I should know.
16 Eat more plastic.
17 Review. No matter how pathetic this result of insomnia and writers block is.
18 Leave me alone.
19 I
20 Mean
21 What
22 I
23 Said.
24 There's
25 A
26 Voice
27 In
28 My
29 Head
30 And
31 It
32 Doesn't
33 Want
34 You
35 Here,
36 …Get brains
37 Peanut butter
38Chicken
39 Pizza
40 Coconuts
41 Shrubbery
42 Fish food
43 Plastic
44 Quit typing grocery list
45 Quit typing daily schedules in front of grocery list and note to self.
46 Memorize numbers 44 and 45.