Chapter Seventeen
"Remind me why I am here." Saitoh asked frostily picking up some Head and Shoulders. He glared at the innocent bottle before tossing it down and picking up something else.
Tokio looked up mildly, "I'm not your maid. If you want food that you like then you have to come shopping with us. Don't be such a baby about it."
He didn't dignify that with an answer.
"Daddy?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"I want to go to the pet store. Sissy needs food."
Ah yes, the infernal beast that insisted on following him around dripping drool and shedding hair.
There were many things wrong with this picture.
The last time he had gone grocery shopping was gone from his recollection, it was that long again. At headquarters he usually didn't bother to do more than go to the cafeteria. Occasionally the morons would manage to drag him out into public for take out.
Then there was the fact that there was a child securely attached to the end of his left arm. She was chattering and yanking things down only to be refused by the puppeteer of this whole torment: Tokio.
He glared sullenly. Did everyone's shopping take so long? How difficult was it to secure what you wanted, pay for it, and return to your car? This was an easily accomplished task, yet here they were wandering down aisles willy-nilly.
"Hajime?" She asked turning around, "Can you take Megs to the pet store. Just get a 20 lb. bag of Science Diet dog food, okay?"
"If it gets fed then it will poop."
"Yes, that generally happens." Tokio agreed comparing spaghetti sauces.
Saitoh tried again: "Why the expensive kind? The dog will eat anything you put down."
Tokio gave him a calm look, ignoring his expression of ire, "Because the higher the quality the less the poop. Besides, I'm the one out there cleaning it up. Will you just go? Then meet me back up at the front and we can leave."
How could that woman be so infuriating and argumentative? He wasn't a busboy here. The semblance of peace was eerily turning into a real one. He really did feel as if he was married to the woman, minus, as Sagara would call them, "the perks."
"Mister Wolf?" A small voice asked and he looked down sharply. The mother-spawn usually called him Daddy with unholy delight. His old, and supposedly secret, nickname snatched his attention right away.
"What."
She pointed and he followed her directions. He noticed two things at once. The former being Sagara stacked high with boxes and bags from different stores trailing behind an enthusiastic Kamatari. The second was two young people that seemed very familiar. It only took a few seconds to realize who they were. This was why he didn't go to the local mall on Saturdays, or any other day for that matter.
"Let's get Sissy some food Daddy." Megumi chirped loudly and started to tug at his hand. The kid was wily as a fox sometimes. Using that name to get his attention, but doing so without blowing any cover. She had potential.
"Can I get some candy?" She asked as she peered into a tank filled with disgusting rodents. Why anyone would want a small ball of fur complete with beady eyes, buck teeth, and a stubby tail he'd never know. In his opinion, the only thing hamsters were good for was to feed snakes.
"No."
"Why?" She asked curiously.
"Because I said 'no.' Stop behaving like you learned your manners from the morons." Saitoh said. Oh no, he wasn't going to play the 'why' game. He remembered that well enough between his two siblings, before he left home. It was a game an adult could never win.
She pouted and eyed him shrewdly. Testing. In a way, children and the men under his command weren't all that different. He would deal with her the same way he dealt with them. Hopefully her mother wouldn't be up in arms.
He had sacrificed a lot for this mission. His solo nature felt confined in a house with two females and that nasty dog. He had been made to put away his katana. It was also a rule that he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house. In a small way the dog had been a blessing. He could "take" the mutt out without Megumi making little noises of disapproval or Tokio's "look."
His lips twisted. She had some moves, he'd give her that much, but she needed to learn that it would take more than a look to sway him.
He looked down to see why Megumi was so quiet.
That would explain it.
She was gone.
It took another moment for the alarm chimes to go off. Not so much worry for the child, or at least he didn't think it was worry for the girl. Her mother on the other hand… He would have to simply find Megumi before she got too far.
How far could a six-year-old go in five minutes?
As he circled the mall for the second time he amended that a six year old could indeed go quiet far. Either that or she was very good at hiding.
He was getting slightly worried now, not that he would express it. Nothing had happened to the child and why would it bother him? What exactly did the child mean to him besides a pain and obnoxious and that stupid mutt and those cute smiles… wait, there was something that didn't fit. He thought the word cute. Purge!
As much as he was reluctant to admit it both the child and mother had found a place within him. Just what sort of place was the question.
But if something happened to the girl he would never be forgiven, and he could never forgive himself.
Coming around the corner near the Gap he stopped.
"…And then he said, no." Saitoh's eyes narrowed. If he wasn't mistaken that was his quarry, and she was talking to someone. He didn't have to guess whom. The question was how to get out of this with some dignity and pride intact.
"Well Sweetie, that's just because your Daddy cares for you. If he didn't he would just buy you the candy so you would be quiet. That's what my daddy did."
"You just bought me some."
Great, a kid with a sugar high stuck in the car with a ticked mother for an hour ride home.
There was a titter, "Ah, but that's what strangers are for. To give you candy and lure you away. Isn't that right Saitoh?"
"Daddy!" The insolent child leapt up, candy in hand, and tackled his legs. A displeasing habit she had acquired from her visit before. One he'd never been able to break her of. "This nice lady gave me candy."
"Hey, Kamatari, what the hell did you do that for? Make up your mind. Am I gay or not? Setting those women on my ass wasn't good!" The chief moron in Saitoh's life stopped and a slow grin spread across his face. Saitoh detested being mocked. "Hey kiddo. You want to come home with us and leave that bad wolf to face Mommy's wrath?"
"Pedophile." Saitoh remarked.
"Wha—what's that mean? Bastard! Calling me names like that."
"Sorry, sir," The impudent cross-dresser put special emphasis on that word, "I'm afraid he's more into big boys than little children."
"Gah! You fucker. You promised!" Sano swore dropping the bags and boxes to clench his fist.
"I said I wouldn't hit on you in public. I was merely making an observation." Kamatari replied picking up his purchases.
"As amusing," Which it really wasn't, "As this is, Megumi and I must leave. Thank you for keeping my "daughter" safe."
It was too late by then. Far too late.
"Why does my child have sugar? I said no Megumi." Tokio said with eyes narrowed. Sano gave a nervous grin and Kamatari smiled. Saitoh didn't bother. He just glared.
"I got lost and I was so scared, but these nice people found me." Megumi said swinging her legs over the side of the bench and licking the candy, unperturbed.
"I'm sure." Tokio said crisply. Saitoh felt small satisfaction in that. If he couldn't get his way the brat better not get hers. Tokio turned to the morons and gave a polite bow, "Thank you for your help. There are so many bad people out there. My husband was just distracted, I'm sure."
She hadn't even completely finished her sentence before she grabbed the kid and walked out with the bags.
"She's such a spitfire." Sagara grinned and draped himself over the bench next to Kamatari. "I bet you're having all sorts of fun. Meg pulled that one on me once; don't feel bad. I found her at an arcade with Kenshin. Boy did I get an earful." There was a light quality to his tone, but it wasn't even teasing. Surprisingly the moron was holding a polite conversation with him. Would the miracles never end?
Kamatari shoved his partner to make more room before asking in a deceptively innocent voice, "A briefs man huh. That was my guess all along, but thanks for confirming it."
He was shopping for his own clothes from now on.
Saitoh stood on the corner of the porch silently smoking. He could hear the dog snuffling somewhere off in the dark, but he was in no hurry to go back in.
Tokio had soundly told Megumi why what she had done was dangerous and wrong. She didn't, as Saitoh would have done, make the child throw the candy away. Weak.
The rest of the evening had been spent in a silence where Tokio avoided him and Megumi ignored him.
He took another deep drag. When did little things like this get to him? He wasn't a dog. He didn't roll over to please. He hadn't done anything wrong either.
"Can I talk to you?" Tokio asked hesitantly, sticking her head out the back screen door. It was an unspoken rule that the back porch was solely his territory. Part of him was pleased that she would ask permission before trespassing. It was only a tiny part. The rest of him bristled that she'd dare to intrude on his private place.
"Hn." He replied staring off into the darkness.
It was odd. The Battousai hadn't been nosing around for several days now. Tokio had informed him that the Battousai took orders from his Master. So with his absence strange thoughts were entering Saitoh's head. Unwelcome, unwanted thoughts.
Tokio padded over and settled quietly on the steps a few feet away. This was starting to remind him of the last discussion they had, the beginning of their truce, their understanding.
"Megumi didn't mean to scare you."
He was silent for a moment, "She didn't."
The small, sarcastic voice in his head said otherwise. It was very obnoxious on the rare occasions that it manifested.
"I told her that the two of you would have to work out a deal. She's a very smart girl, but I'm not sure she understands that you can't just jerk people around. Hopefully she'll do better than her father in that respect." He waited patiently. This discussion was purely one-sided. There was absolutely no reason for him to interrupt her planned response, "I also want to thank you."
"For what."
"For anything. For taking the dog out without being asked."
He smirked, "Smoking break."
"I know that." She growled in annoyance. Good, that peacemaker bit was getting on his nerves. "But you don't have to take her."
"I do if I want clean floors." He retorted around a fresh cigarette.
"Can't you just accept a compliment or an apology at face value?" She said in exasperation, but she didn't sound particularly angry.
"No."
"See! There you go again. It's like your voice box is coated in acid and every word it touches gets covered!"
He gave her a hooded look. She stared back with a slight frown.
"At least practice some common courtesy." She finally snorted.
"Social skills are irrelevant."
She rolled her eyes bending down to pat the mutt who had come up during their exchange, "Maybe for you, but the rest of us try to get along in the world rather than hack our way through."
He closed his eyes letting the cloud of nicotine float around him. When he opened them again Tokio and the dog were gone, yet somehow he felt like he had lost that battle.
A/N: Apologies for not updating on Sun. I got banned from posting for a week -__- For something I didn't do. And no, they never did e-mail me back providing a good, specific reason as to why. I've had this account for three years without a problem so why would I suddenly start breaking rules now?! Oh well. That story will just be posted elsewhere because it was pretty funny.
Reviewers:
Fyyrrose: *humming Elvis* You know what? Mom said I shouldn't have The King on my playlist!! Don't feel like writing? You better hurry it up if you want Shishio to live. Yes, BS's chapters are a bit short, but she updates regularly. That's the last time I give you credit for an idea *starts laughing* not if it's going to lose me my account. There are MANY GOOD reasons why Samurai Deeper Kyo will NEVER be shown on CN, even Adult Swim. "The Birds and the Bees" was at anime-keep as an April Fools joke. Bottle fairy is funny! Watch june. I would love to bitch slap you, but I'm down here. Oh, and you know what? I can fit 15 manga and three vhs in that tiny box! Now I just need time to send it off. Will T read PSoH?
MissBehavin: I got my paper back today. It was hilarious to read my professor's side notes. He HATES Bush, really hates him. And Bush won't learn anything. The man is dumb as a box of rocks. The most we can hope for is to get him out of office. Ah, okay, well said. I had to ask fyyrrose is I was putting things together that weren't there in the anime... but the manga there are like no hints. I've read all of Barb's PMK I think, so I know which one you're talking about. Pairings are not a consideration for me either. Surprisingly (or at least it surprised the heck out of me) Okita (PMK) is my fav. char followed by Shinpachi, Sannan, and Tatsu. Saito is fifth for both PMK and RK ^__^ Go figure on that. Aoshi is very agreeable *snickers* Hiko *sigh* is himself. What more is there to say? Saitoh knows she has someone, but he doesn't know WHO. Kenshin is a nice man, but none too smart about certain things.
Wistful-Eyes: *grins widely* Ring away!
"Remind me why I am here." Saitoh asked frostily picking up some Head and Shoulders. He glared at the innocent bottle before tossing it down and picking up something else.
Tokio looked up mildly, "I'm not your maid. If you want food that you like then you have to come shopping with us. Don't be such a baby about it."
He didn't dignify that with an answer.
"Daddy?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"I want to go to the pet store. Sissy needs food."
Ah yes, the infernal beast that insisted on following him around dripping drool and shedding hair.
There were many things wrong with this picture.
The last time he had gone grocery shopping was gone from his recollection, it was that long again. At headquarters he usually didn't bother to do more than go to the cafeteria. Occasionally the morons would manage to drag him out into public for take out.
Then there was the fact that there was a child securely attached to the end of his left arm. She was chattering and yanking things down only to be refused by the puppeteer of this whole torment: Tokio.
He glared sullenly. Did everyone's shopping take so long? How difficult was it to secure what you wanted, pay for it, and return to your car? This was an easily accomplished task, yet here they were wandering down aisles willy-nilly.
"Hajime?" She asked turning around, "Can you take Megs to the pet store. Just get a 20 lb. bag of Science Diet dog food, okay?"
"If it gets fed then it will poop."
"Yes, that generally happens." Tokio agreed comparing spaghetti sauces.
Saitoh tried again: "Why the expensive kind? The dog will eat anything you put down."
Tokio gave him a calm look, ignoring his expression of ire, "Because the higher the quality the less the poop. Besides, I'm the one out there cleaning it up. Will you just go? Then meet me back up at the front and we can leave."
How could that woman be so infuriating and argumentative? He wasn't a busboy here. The semblance of peace was eerily turning into a real one. He really did feel as if he was married to the woman, minus, as Sagara would call them, "the perks."
"Mister Wolf?" A small voice asked and he looked down sharply. The mother-spawn usually called him Daddy with unholy delight. His old, and supposedly secret, nickname snatched his attention right away.
"What."
She pointed and he followed her directions. He noticed two things at once. The former being Sagara stacked high with boxes and bags from different stores trailing behind an enthusiastic Kamatari. The second was two young people that seemed very familiar. It only took a few seconds to realize who they were. This was why he didn't go to the local mall on Saturdays, or any other day for that matter.
"Let's get Sissy some food Daddy." Megumi chirped loudly and started to tug at his hand. The kid was wily as a fox sometimes. Using that name to get his attention, but doing so without blowing any cover. She had potential.
"Can I get some candy?" She asked as she peered into a tank filled with disgusting rodents. Why anyone would want a small ball of fur complete with beady eyes, buck teeth, and a stubby tail he'd never know. In his opinion, the only thing hamsters were good for was to feed snakes.
"No."
"Why?" She asked curiously.
"Because I said 'no.' Stop behaving like you learned your manners from the morons." Saitoh said. Oh no, he wasn't going to play the 'why' game. He remembered that well enough between his two siblings, before he left home. It was a game an adult could never win.
She pouted and eyed him shrewdly. Testing. In a way, children and the men under his command weren't all that different. He would deal with her the same way he dealt with them. Hopefully her mother wouldn't be up in arms.
He had sacrificed a lot for this mission. His solo nature felt confined in a house with two females and that nasty dog. He had been made to put away his katana. It was also a rule that he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house. In a small way the dog had been a blessing. He could "take" the mutt out without Megumi making little noises of disapproval or Tokio's "look."
His lips twisted. She had some moves, he'd give her that much, but she needed to learn that it would take more than a look to sway him.
He looked down to see why Megumi was so quiet.
That would explain it.
She was gone.
It took another moment for the alarm chimes to go off. Not so much worry for the child, or at least he didn't think it was worry for the girl. Her mother on the other hand… He would have to simply find Megumi before she got too far.
How far could a six-year-old go in five minutes?
As he circled the mall for the second time he amended that a six year old could indeed go quiet far. Either that or she was very good at hiding.
He was getting slightly worried now, not that he would express it. Nothing had happened to the child and why would it bother him? What exactly did the child mean to him besides a pain and obnoxious and that stupid mutt and those cute smiles… wait, there was something that didn't fit. He thought the word cute. Purge!
As much as he was reluctant to admit it both the child and mother had found a place within him. Just what sort of place was the question.
But if something happened to the girl he would never be forgiven, and he could never forgive himself.
Coming around the corner near the Gap he stopped.
"…And then he said, no." Saitoh's eyes narrowed. If he wasn't mistaken that was his quarry, and she was talking to someone. He didn't have to guess whom. The question was how to get out of this with some dignity and pride intact.
"Well Sweetie, that's just because your Daddy cares for you. If he didn't he would just buy you the candy so you would be quiet. That's what my daddy did."
"You just bought me some."
Great, a kid with a sugar high stuck in the car with a ticked mother for an hour ride home.
There was a titter, "Ah, but that's what strangers are for. To give you candy and lure you away. Isn't that right Saitoh?"
"Daddy!" The insolent child leapt up, candy in hand, and tackled his legs. A displeasing habit she had acquired from her visit before. One he'd never been able to break her of. "This nice lady gave me candy."
"Hey, Kamatari, what the hell did you do that for? Make up your mind. Am I gay or not? Setting those women on my ass wasn't good!" The chief moron in Saitoh's life stopped and a slow grin spread across his face. Saitoh detested being mocked. "Hey kiddo. You want to come home with us and leave that bad wolf to face Mommy's wrath?"
"Pedophile." Saitoh remarked.
"Wha—what's that mean? Bastard! Calling me names like that."
"Sorry, sir," The impudent cross-dresser put special emphasis on that word, "I'm afraid he's more into big boys than little children."
"Gah! You fucker. You promised!" Sano swore dropping the bags and boxes to clench his fist.
"I said I wouldn't hit on you in public. I was merely making an observation." Kamatari replied picking up his purchases.
"As amusing," Which it really wasn't, "As this is, Megumi and I must leave. Thank you for keeping my "daughter" safe."
It was too late by then. Far too late.
"Why does my child have sugar? I said no Megumi." Tokio said with eyes narrowed. Sano gave a nervous grin and Kamatari smiled. Saitoh didn't bother. He just glared.
"I got lost and I was so scared, but these nice people found me." Megumi said swinging her legs over the side of the bench and licking the candy, unperturbed.
"I'm sure." Tokio said crisply. Saitoh felt small satisfaction in that. If he couldn't get his way the brat better not get hers. Tokio turned to the morons and gave a polite bow, "Thank you for your help. There are so many bad people out there. My husband was just distracted, I'm sure."
She hadn't even completely finished her sentence before she grabbed the kid and walked out with the bags.
"She's such a spitfire." Sagara grinned and draped himself over the bench next to Kamatari. "I bet you're having all sorts of fun. Meg pulled that one on me once; don't feel bad. I found her at an arcade with Kenshin. Boy did I get an earful." There was a light quality to his tone, but it wasn't even teasing. Surprisingly the moron was holding a polite conversation with him. Would the miracles never end?
Kamatari shoved his partner to make more room before asking in a deceptively innocent voice, "A briefs man huh. That was my guess all along, but thanks for confirming it."
He was shopping for his own clothes from now on.
Saitoh stood on the corner of the porch silently smoking. He could hear the dog snuffling somewhere off in the dark, but he was in no hurry to go back in.
Tokio had soundly told Megumi why what she had done was dangerous and wrong. She didn't, as Saitoh would have done, make the child throw the candy away. Weak.
The rest of the evening had been spent in a silence where Tokio avoided him and Megumi ignored him.
He took another deep drag. When did little things like this get to him? He wasn't a dog. He didn't roll over to please. He hadn't done anything wrong either.
"Can I talk to you?" Tokio asked hesitantly, sticking her head out the back screen door. It was an unspoken rule that the back porch was solely his territory. Part of him was pleased that she would ask permission before trespassing. It was only a tiny part. The rest of him bristled that she'd dare to intrude on his private place.
"Hn." He replied staring off into the darkness.
It was odd. The Battousai hadn't been nosing around for several days now. Tokio had informed him that the Battousai took orders from his Master. So with his absence strange thoughts were entering Saitoh's head. Unwelcome, unwanted thoughts.
Tokio padded over and settled quietly on the steps a few feet away. This was starting to remind him of the last discussion they had, the beginning of their truce, their understanding.
"Megumi didn't mean to scare you."
He was silent for a moment, "She didn't."
The small, sarcastic voice in his head said otherwise. It was very obnoxious on the rare occasions that it manifested.
"I told her that the two of you would have to work out a deal. She's a very smart girl, but I'm not sure she understands that you can't just jerk people around. Hopefully she'll do better than her father in that respect." He waited patiently. This discussion was purely one-sided. There was absolutely no reason for him to interrupt her planned response, "I also want to thank you."
"For what."
"For anything. For taking the dog out without being asked."
He smirked, "Smoking break."
"I know that." She growled in annoyance. Good, that peacemaker bit was getting on his nerves. "But you don't have to take her."
"I do if I want clean floors." He retorted around a fresh cigarette.
"Can't you just accept a compliment or an apology at face value?" She said in exasperation, but she didn't sound particularly angry.
"No."
"See! There you go again. It's like your voice box is coated in acid and every word it touches gets covered!"
He gave her a hooded look. She stared back with a slight frown.
"At least practice some common courtesy." She finally snorted.
"Social skills are irrelevant."
She rolled her eyes bending down to pat the mutt who had come up during their exchange, "Maybe for you, but the rest of us try to get along in the world rather than hack our way through."
He closed his eyes letting the cloud of nicotine float around him. When he opened them again Tokio and the dog were gone, yet somehow he felt like he had lost that battle.
A/N: Apologies for not updating on Sun. I got banned from posting for a week -__- For something I didn't do. And no, they never did e-mail me back providing a good, specific reason as to why. I've had this account for three years without a problem so why would I suddenly start breaking rules now?! Oh well. That story will just be posted elsewhere because it was pretty funny.
Reviewers:
Fyyrrose: *humming Elvis* You know what? Mom said I shouldn't have The King on my playlist!! Don't feel like writing? You better hurry it up if you want Shishio to live. Yes, BS's chapters are a bit short, but she updates regularly. That's the last time I give you credit for an idea *starts laughing* not if it's going to lose me my account. There are MANY GOOD reasons why Samurai Deeper Kyo will NEVER be shown on CN, even Adult Swim. "The Birds and the Bees" was at anime-keep as an April Fools joke. Bottle fairy is funny! Watch june. I would love to bitch slap you, but I'm down here. Oh, and you know what? I can fit 15 manga and three vhs in that tiny box! Now I just need time to send it off. Will T read PSoH?
MissBehavin: I got my paper back today. It was hilarious to read my professor's side notes. He HATES Bush, really hates him. And Bush won't learn anything. The man is dumb as a box of rocks. The most we can hope for is to get him out of office. Ah, okay, well said. I had to ask fyyrrose is I was putting things together that weren't there in the anime... but the manga there are like no hints. I've read all of Barb's PMK I think, so I know which one you're talking about. Pairings are not a consideration for me either. Surprisingly (or at least it surprised the heck out of me) Okita (PMK) is my fav. char followed by Shinpachi, Sannan, and Tatsu. Saito is fifth for both PMK and RK ^__^ Go figure on that. Aoshi is very agreeable *snickers* Hiko *sigh* is himself. What more is there to say? Saitoh knows she has someone, but he doesn't know WHO. Kenshin is a nice man, but none too smart about certain things.
Wistful-Eyes: *grins widely* Ring away!