I apologise in advance if the characters are somewhat...OOC, I suppose. Don't own Final Fantasy, and I never will, either.

Chapter 2

I barely noticed when Barrett stole up behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder I smiled faintly at him. We had just pulled up at Kalm and I was slumped over the rail outside, wondering distantly what time it was. I could always drag myself up and go ask one of the crew but I couldn't be bothered to make the effort.

"Let's go" He muttered. I nodded and we strode into the small town, leaving the crew to repair the damage the Highwind had taken.

"Hey Strife" I turned to look at Cid who was standing slightly behind us. "Who knows?"

"Hojo, Aeris and Tifa" I winced "So just Tifa now"

"They'll all be well informed then. That woman can never shut up" I smirked. Tifa would talk endlessly if you let her.

"Cloud!" A voice shrieked.

I winced again and I was nearly knocked over when Tifa jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck. I patted her back, trying not to roll my eyes as I did so. Yuffie grinned like a Cheshire cat who had just been offered a lifetime's supply of catnip and Red XIII rubbed against my hand, purring gently. I was dragged by my arm (which I was slowly starting to lose the feeling in) towards the inn when I turned to Tifa, who was happily clinging to my arm chatting ceaselessly, oblivious to the fact I was not interested in her or whatever she was talking about.

"Tifa?"

"Mmmm?" She smiled faintly. It was then I noticed that everyone seemed...sad. Yuffie was not having arguments with Red in Wutaian and she didn't seem bothered enough to start one. I frowned at Tifa who shrugged helplessly.

"I had to tell them" she whispered "They deserve to know" I sighed again.

"Saves me the bother then" I replied and turned my attention back to Yuffie. She wasn't even trying to remove Vincent's materia...speaking of which, where was Vincent? I hadn't seen him since I left...

"Tifa, where's Vincent?" she frowned slightly, and I couldn't tell whether she was thinking or if she was just annoyed.

"Up in the cliffs" she said at last "watching for monsters"

I nodded my thanks and as the others trooped into the inn I headed towards the cliffs on the North side of the small town. I scanned the rocks for a familiar dark figure. I leaned against a wall facing the cliff, knowing he would find me sooner or later. Sure enough, he dropped beside me and I smiled up into crimson eyes. The sad, distant look he always had seemed to have intensified since I had last spoken to him. I rested my hand on his cheek and he started slightly. The dark look fled and he smiled.

"If I'm not mistaken, I think that Vincent Valentine is smiling! I might die of shock!" I said in mock astonishment.

"I might do more than that" he murmured. He leaned downwards and I reached up and then...

"Guys!" Tifa. Damn. I whirled around to see her skipping towards us. She stopped and watched us curiously. She seemed about to ask a question but she just shrugged

"Could you come to the inn?" she asked, but before I could answer she had turned and was out of hearing range.

I turned to Vincent who also shrugged then headed back up the cliff. He seemed to have developed claustrophobia (probably the after-effect of being stuck in a coffin for years) and the inn wasn't his favourite place. He followed Tifa to the inn, waiting for the 'why didn't you tell us before?' lecture as I stepped inside. Instead, they were gathered around a table, discussing something. I stood next to Yuffie, which turned out to be a mistake as it took an hour and a half to get my KOTR materia back.

"We're talking about what to do...hey that's mine!" she whispered as I removed Cid's comet materia from her possession.

"I'm going back to Midgar" Barrett said "Help rebuild it"

"Shera would never forgive me if I didn't go and see her" Cid grumbled. I coughed and he glared at me "Shut up, Strife"

"I'm going to defend Cosmo Canyon just like my father did!" Red (or Nanaki, as we should call him) announced proudly.

"I'm gonna get loads of materia for my people!" Yuffie said, stealing most of Barrett's as she did so.

"I'll stay here. I can open up 7th Heaven again. It won't be too hard" Tifa mused. She then looked over at me. "What about you, Cloud?"

"I'll wander. I don't really have a home and I can't go back to Nibelheim" I shook my head. "It's not the same anymore"

"You could come with me" Tifa offered. I glanced at her, and I was about to make a nasty reply when I realised that she was just worried. "I'll think about it" I managed, knowing I wouldn't. Everyone nodded and either went outside or upstairs to rest. Tifa sat on the table and watched me thoughtfully. I looked at her.

"Are you sure you're alright, Cloud?" Tifa asked. "I'm fine" I replied. She nodded, satisfied, and went upstairs.

'For now' I whispered to myself.

It was very dark now, as I made my way up to Vincent's lookout point. I was sat facing the sea, cloak flapping behind him. I seated myself next to him, and one of his eyebrows twitched in acknowledgement. The silence went on for several minutes before he decided to speak.

"They're dead set on saving you" he glanced at me and I sighed in exasperation.

"Why can't they accept that they can't do anything?" I grumbled. I twitched slightly as I felt Vincent get extremely angry. I frowned, then blinked worriedly at his still stoic fury.

"What do you feel?" He asked me finally. I blinked at the odd question. What did I feel? I was struggling to answer when a sentence from my precious few real memories waded to the surface.

/ Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to act as though you're angry either. Because, Cloud, you are.../

I shook my head. If he was right then what did I feel about Vincent? I was about to reply when another comment from Sephiroth resurfaced.

/You are a puppet. You have no heart and cannot feel any pain/

I began to shake that thought off but I hesitated.

What if he had been right? What if I really am just another unfeeling creation of Hojo's? I was certainly treated and used like a puppet by Sephiroth and his 'mother'.

But...I felt pain when Aeris died...at least...I thought I did. I hate myself for that. For letting Aeris die. I hate myself for letting Sephiroth control me. If I had been stronger I could have done something earlier. But I didn't. So now hundreds of innocent people are dead because I gave Sephiroth the black materia. He didn't take it by force, he didn't have to. He just got one of his unknowing 'puppets' to do his dirty work and give him the prize. Everyone thinks I'm a hero, but I was the one that started it all. I started it, and it cost us the last survivor of an ancient race to stop it. Aeris...everyone probably hates me for not saving her too, or even dragging her into this in the first place...

"Cloud?" the cool voice startled me out of my thoughts and I focused on Vincent's face to stop myself slipping into them again.

"Sorry" I looked away to see a sliver of pure gold break the dark sky in the east. "Lost in my thoughts I guess"

"You still blame yourself, don't you" It was a statement, not a question. I frowned at him.

"Of course I do! It's my fault anyway!" I snapped. "If I won't take the blame, who will?"

"Nobody wants you to take the blame for others' actions" He said, unbothered by the fact that my materia were glowing in my slots, reacting to the surge of mako my frustration had brought on.

"Others' actions? I echoed. I laughed bitterly "My actions, you mean"

"Cloud..." I barely heard the whisper over the several voices in my head telling me it was my fault, and not to listen.

"If I hadn't given him the materia, Midgar might not have been destroyed and Aeris would still be alive"

"If you had not given it to him, one of the other clones would have done" He said reasonably. His logic only made it worse.

"If I had taken care of Hojo when I had the chance, there wouldn't be any clones" I retorted. Vincent fell silent and I twisted round so I could see him properly. He was watching the sunrise with a detached interest; his face had been carefully schooled into a mask of nonchalance and it was impossible to know what he was really thinking.

"Izuku to mo mi wo yaru kata no shirareneba ushi to mitsutsu mo nagarauru kana" I murmured, more to myself than to anyone else.

"You have done what you wanted to do. What else is there?" He sounded genuinely curious. I shrugged.

"I can't sit around and do nothing...and it's not like I haven't got a time limit" I said grimly. He brushed raven strands out of his eyes and I watched appreciatively as his eyes twinkled as the light hit them. I flinched as a sharp pain seared through me. I had been standing up and Vincent was supporting me before I realised that I had staggered and nearly fallen.

"What..." he asked, though he knew what I was going to say.

"I don't have much time" I smiled into blood red eyes before darkness rushed in.

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'Izuku to mo mi wo yaru kata no shirareneba ushi to mitsutsu mo nagarauru kana' translates to 'Which way should I go? Where should I put myself? Not knowing the answer, I continue wearily existing'. I thought it suited the purpose; I took the quote from Liza Dalby's book, The Tale of Murasaki.