Don't own. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Chapter 4

I felt a distinct sense of foreboding as we approached Shinra mansion. I had mentioned it to Nanaki, and he had told me he felt it too. He had also added that maybe a part of my mind was apprehensive of going back into the place where I had lost so much. I had nodded in agreement, before taking the lead.

"Planet, this place hasn't changed in the slightest" I observed, shivering at the memories. I glanced around at Vincent, who was frowning. Deciding not to disturb him, I led the way to the staircase.

Searching the wall for the crack, I thought back to the first time I had done this. Sephiroth had been in the basement, trying to work out who he really was. What he really was. Jenova...it was her fault that they had both ended up like this. Both he had Sephiroth were more similar than he liked to admit. They-

"Got it" I hissed, temporarily distracted by the door. Nearly everyone jumped, that I could see. Nanaki merely looked at the stairs apprehensively, while I couldn't see Vincent. Wondering briefly if Vincent had left, and then dismissing it, I nodded for everyone to follow me.

"Kuraudo, are you alright?" Yuffie asked, tugging gently on my sleeve. I blinked as I realised she had slipped back into Wutaian, calling me by their interpretation of my name.

"Hai. Arigatou, Yuffie" I replied. She grinned happily at the use (albeit small) of her native language and hugged me. I nearly tripped down the last few steps from the force of it. I smiled anyway and ruffled her hair, to which she screeched and attempted to flatten it. I felt a bit more relaxed for a second. Yuffie's cheery-tempered-with-kindness attitude could do that to anyone.

I set out down the corridor, cringing at the memories these walls contained. By now I was seriously thinking that Vincent had stayed outside. Not that I could blame. He had as many horrific memories of this place as I did. I nudged the door upon, cringing at the sight. I glanced back at the party that had come with me. Yuffie, Tifa, Cid and a now missing Vincent.

"Well, Cloud?" Tifa asked softly from her position in the doorframe. I turned to them.

"Yuffie, Cid, take care of any monsters. Tifa, you come with me" They all nodded and Tifa followed me as I went towards the bookcases.

"See if there are any books on effects of Mako and Jenova on living organisms" I told her, ignoring the odd look she sent me.

As I searched the piles on the floor, my mind dragged me back to the thought process of earlier.

'You're the same as Sephiroth' A part of my mind hissed 'You're both creatures, with no future. Look at what you've done. You both deserve to die'

"No. I'm not like him!" I muttered to myself. I felt a headache begin and rubbed my temples. It didn't help that the distinct smell of mako assaulting my more acute senses was making me nauseous. Tifa, Yuffie and Cid weren't bothered by it, but Tifa noticed my expression.

"We'd best get out of here soon. Even if we can't smell the mako doesn't mean it won't affect us" She observed, not aiming this comment at me. Glancing at the book I held, I memorised a paragraph that sounded useful and straightened up. I hadn't noticed how long we had been here, but the cramp in my legs informed me clear enough.

"Cloud? You ready to-" She was cut off by a beastial roar. We both ran outside, to find YinYang advancing on us from all sides. Cid and Yuffie were struggling to hold back the waves of monsters as we joined them. We stood back to back, trying to attack and cast spells at the same time.

"Where the hell did they all come from?" Cid growled, knocking them back slightly with his limit break. He finished off the attack with a stream of swearing.

"Yuffie!" She twisted around "We're gonna need help if we want to get out of this in one piece!" She nodded, leaped clear of the battle and started tapping furiously on her PHS. I grimaced as Tifa was thrown against the wall. Ducking under an attack, I cast a Phoenix Down in her direction and swung around just it time to prevent myself being killed. Tifa, now back on her feet was pushing them back, along with Cid and Yuffie.

"Trying to get killed already, Strife?" Somebody yelled from the stairs. I hid a grin and mock-scowled at Barret.

"Are you going to stand there all day or help?" I yelled back. He grinned and started firing from his safe position. I hissed in pain as a YinYang dragged it claws along my outstretched arm as I swung. I managed to twist round and kill it, jumping back as its acid-like blood dripped to the floor.

Now that I could concentrate properly, I heard the sound of two guns firing. I saw Barret and Vincent taking care of the last few YinYang. I went over to Tifa, who was sitting on the floor, my uninjured hand. She smiled brightly and took it, noting the blood on my shirt.

"Cloud, you're hurt!" She exclaimed. I extended my arm, wincing at the marks. She gasped quietly, reaching into the pack on her back. She frowned as she searched it.

"I haven't got any potions. This'll have to do" She produced a bandage and some salve out of her bag. I watched her apply it without wincing. I watched the others carefully. None of them seeming to be badly hurt, seeing that both Cid and Barret were chasing a laughing Yuffie down the corridor.

"There" I smiled gratefully at her.

"Thanks Tifa" She smiled back, packing up her bag. I followed her to the others, folding my arms.

"Well, that was certainly entertaining" I commented. Yuffie grinned, jumping from foot to foot.

"Yeah! You both woulda gotten your asses kicked if I wasn't here!" She flashed me a 'v for victory' sign. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Last time I checked, the 'Great Materia Hunter Yuffie' owed me for hauling her out of a fight" I replied. She scowled darkly and muttered something inaudible. She turned and headed up the stairs, giving me a dirty look as she did so.

"Didja find anything, Spike?" Barret asked. I sighed and shook my head.

"Not really. Most of it's just what happens when jenova is injected not how to reverse it. Seems like I'm screwed, doesn't it?" I sighed.

"Best look again Spike. You never know, you might've missed something" Barret suggested. I smiled wearily at him, nodding.

"You can go back up if you want" I paused "It seems like the mansion is completely empty, now" I indicated that I would be fine on my own, and they turned at set off, though Tifa gave me an encouraging smile before leaving.

'Does she still think I love her, I wonder' I pondered, going back into the study. I had a flashback to Sephiroth doing exactly what I was doing. Looking for answers. It didn't help that every step I took, I got a sense of déjà vu.

"Cloud?" I started, turning towards Vincent. He moved slowly, uncomfortable about something. I straightened up slowly, gesturing to the desk. Vincent, however, did not move. I stood quietly, waiting for Vincent to speak, not knowing what was coming.

"I apologise" I frowned at him, not sure I had heard the softly spoken words right.

"What for?" I asked, setting everything down. He lowered his head, raising a hand to his chin. It was a stance I attributed to him thinking, so I kept silent. I could tell he hated this place as much as me, and I got a feeling this was what he was apologising about.

"Vincent...it's about here, isn't it?" I said, gesturing to our surroundings. He hesitated, and I sighed.

"I forgot that you have just as bad recollections of this place as I do" His face displayed annoyance at himself.

"You didn't need to be down here with me. I hate this place too"

"However-" I leaned forward, covering his mouth with mine. In reply he reached up and held me there by the back of my neck.

"Zip it" I stated when we parted "I don't need to hear it"

"But-"

"Ah" I put a finger to his mouth "I don't need or want to hear it. I can understand you fine. I don't need to know. I don't care. Just...stay here, with me?" I asked him.

"Very well" He smiled, more relaxed now. It never ceased to amaze me how...open he was, when not around the others. I smiled, looking down at the desk. My attention was pulled to a small, leather bound book, the fading letters proclaiming it's subject to the world. I leaned past Vincent, picking it up.

"Gotcha" The book's dulled letters made me smile. I had found what I wanted – for the letters spelled out 'J-E-N-O-V-A'...

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That's why Vincent/Cloud stuff is so great. They understand each other, and can snap the other out of angsty-ness. Plus, it's just damned adorable giggles like the child she is mentally (8 years old)