Feasibility Study
Written by: Ms Maggs / Edited by: KJT
Chapter 80: Losing It – Part 9
Greg's Apartment
8:54 p.m.
Anxious to see what was upsetting Sara, Greg hurried out of the bedroom wearing a black t-shirt and distressed jeans.
"Wait!" Tawny shrieked as she yanked on her gym shorts and sports bra that she had taken off upon returning from The Fitness Den. "We need to splash some cold water on our faces so she can't tell we were crying! And we have to fix our hair!" Glancing over at his she corrected, "I have to fix my hair. Yours is really screwed up but, she won't think that's abnormal."
Detouring into the bathroom Greg remarked, "She really couldn't have had better timing. If she had knocked earlier she would have either caught us having sex or bawling our eyes out. But, if she knocked a minute later she would have buzzkilled one of the happiest moments in our life together." Grinning he added, "Assuming you were planning on answering yes."
Pleased to learn she hadn't imagined the beginnings of a proposal, she joked through a sunny smile while fixing her hair, "I was going to tell you that I'd have to think about it and get back to you."
Satisfied that his eyes didn't look puffy nor his hair too sexed, he strolled out of the bathroom with Tawny on his heels and offered a suggestion. "Now that you know the question will be coming again eventually, why don't you think about it until then? That way you'll have an answer ready when the opportunity to give your reply presents itself days, weeks or months from now."
"Months!" She covered her mouth.
"Coming, Sara!" As he hurried through the main room, he saw his hastily discarded clothes and Tawny's robe. In one swoop, he scooped them up in his arms before opening the front door. "Hey, Sara." Clutching the clothes he explained, "I have laundry duty this week. Sorry it took so long. I uh…"
"Hey, Sara!" Tawny greeted in her usual bubbly tone. "Greg said you were at the door."
Sara knew the anger-fueled half hour power walk to Greg's apartment must have cooled her off because she was able to remain calm and collected rather than make a scene like she had earlier. She even managed to fake a smile. "Sorry to disturb you, but I have a question to ask you."
Tawny couldn't stop her grin as she thought…funny, Greg had one for me too but then you knocked! "I'm really sorry I took off on you. I was talking to Greg and it was such a bad day at work that he…"
"I didn't mind," Sara assured her. "My question is for both of you to answer." Clearing her throat she readied. "After seeing Lady Heather at the gym tonight, I had this crazy theory. What if she is Jim Brass's mystery lady? What do you guys think? Do you think Lady Heather is Jim Brass's mystery lady?" She held her breath while waiting to see if they'd be duplicitous like the others.
Simultaneously, Greg and Tawny looked directly at Sara and said, "Yes."
Sara released the air from her lungs. "Thank you for not lying to my face."
"We found out after leaving your party," Greg glumly admitted. "He asked us not to tell you because he had made plans to tell you himself this week. I agreed not to tell you, but if you asked me directly, I wasn't going to lie. You asked…I told the truth."
"I didn't want to lie to you either," Tawny agreed. "And I felt terrible when she showed up at class tonight. She never comes to the Monday night one. She goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I never would have put you in that position on purpose." She felt compelled to explain further. "The only reason I went along with the cover-up was….Jim Brass is the top dog at the lab. With Greg's file already flagged, I figured it wouldn't take much to find a way to can him if the Assistant Director was pissed. Greg's job is so important to him. Plus, if he got fired his dad would think he screwed up. So I agreed to keep my mouth shut." When she felt Greg's hands land on her shoulders and give them a squeeze, she warmed, knowing exactly what it meant…he was grateful for her understanding him and thinking of him.
"See!" Sara raced to a rage. "That's the way it SHOULD be. You're not even married and you get it! Tawny…you thought of Greg's needs and feelings before a friend's. Shouldn't a husband be loyal to his wife before all others? At our wedding ceremony we promised to love and respect each other, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live! But tonight I learned my husband has known about this and lied to my face in order to preserve his friend's dirty little secret! He even joked about it in front of me. What wife wants to find out her husband was laughing at her expense?"
"How did you find out?" Greg asked.
"Brass and Heather were together outside the gym when Gil came to pick me up because my car wouldn't start. I was totally blindsided…just like I was by Suzie, just like I was when I caught Brian Anderson in bed with Miranda, just like I was when I found out Hank was engaged. Gil knows all about my history. He knows how awful I felt every time I was betrayed. I told him I never want to be sheltered because all that does is leave you unprepared. Hell, I just told him this morning when he was hiding the case from me because of the ladybug dress. He had to know this would devastate me."
Tawny turned to Greg. "Didn't I predict this!"
Greg stared clueless.
"That's right…you were wasted. I'll refresh your memory…I said to Jim Brass, that he and Gil are looking at some serious rage when Sara finds out, because women hate feeling blindsided, humiliated and betrayed."
The words were music to Sara's ears. "That's exactly what I said to them an hour ago…well, screamed really. Thank you for the empathy."
"Been there, felt your pain, Sister."
Greg noticed his neighbor across the hall was outside enjoying a smoke and the juicy conversation. "How about we take this inside? Because Puff Daddy is listening in on your personal trauma to pass the time while he's waiting for his lung cancer diagnosis."
Sara glanced over her shoulder.
Jerry the chain smoking neighbor waved. "If things don't work out at home, Sweetheart, you know where to find me."
Tawny grabbed Sara's hand and yanked her inside. "That guy is a total sleaze. He used to come into Tweeters."
"He did!" Greg shut the door and tossed the 'laundry' on the kitchen table. "Does he recognize you? Has he been scamming on you? If he comes anywhere near you I'll…"
"Honey!" She pointed to Sara. "Focus." Then she asked their guest, "Want something to drink? Decaf Iced Tea, water or beer?"
"A beer," Sara immediately answered and then she corrected her request. "Sorry…wait…I don't booze when I'm stressed. Make it Iced Tea."
"I'm on it, Sweetie," Tawny strolled into the kitchen area. "Make yourself at home."
A few feet into the apartment, she tripped over Greg's shoe. "Damn it." It reminded her of Gil's bad habit and sparked her irritation. "You do that too?"
"Sorry!" Greg snatched up his funky Pumas. "I have a bad habit of kicking off my clown shoes and leaving them."
Tawny groaned, "Drives me crazy."
With her head hung low, Sara headed for the sofa.
When Greg waltzed into the kitchen to apologize to his roommate for his umpteenth shoe-leaving infraction he saw Tawny frantically pointing toward the living room.
"What?" He whispered.
"The couch," She responded in the same hushed tone in regards to Greg's old fabric sofa that they intended on chucking before moving into the townhouse. "Remember…we got carried away and forgot to put down the sex blanket. The germphobe is about to sit in our wet spot!"
"Oh!" Dropping his shoes, Greg took off toward the living room portion of the main room and when saw Sara was about to plop, he grabbed the back of the couch with one hand, swung his legs over the top and landed smack in the middle of the couch's love zone. "Sorry…didn't want you to be alone," was the explanation he offered for his frenzied squat.
"Thanks." Initially uncomfortable by his proximity, Sara loosened up when she remembered his pregnant future-wife was only twenty feet away. "Giving me a shoulder to cry on?"
"Do you have any idea how much tear-action these shoulders have seen?" Shaking his head he revealed, "I was voted Best Shoulder to Cry On in several cities. Let me assure you…you came to the right place to mend your broken heart." He chuckled. "The really cool thing for me this time is, I don't have to worry about trying to score as your transition man, because I already have the woman of my dreams. Plus…who are we kidding?" Elbowing Sara he goaded, "You may be pissed at Gris right now, but you know the two of you aren't meant to be apart. Admit it. This isn't a…I never want to see that bastard as long as he lives and when he dies I'll show up at his funeral in a red dress and dance on his grave thing you're feeling, this is a… I still love the stupid asshole, but how could he do this to me and how can I make him see how much he hurt me thing you've got going on."
In a vulnerable voice Sara confessed, "Definitely the latter." Then she looked at Greg. "You really have done this a few times."
"Totally…and the classification up front is critical because I didn't stand a chance with a girl in the I still love the stupid asshole scenario. The girl shopping for the red dress though…if the guy who broke her heart cheated on her, she'd want a little retribution sex, in which case I gladly offered more than my shoulder." He laughed. "That only happened two very memorable times. All the other times I made the girl feel better and then she outsourced the retribution sex to a jock."
Tawny set Sara's iced tea on the coffee table and then winked at her lover. "Those girls didn't know what they were missing, Baby."
Greg gushed as his almost-fiancée eyed him adoringly.
"Watching the two of you ooze happiness is making me feel worse. I should go."
"No!" They both demanded.
"We'll tone it down," Tawny informed their guest. "We uh…had this special moment before you knocked." She opted not to go with the truth…after incredibly passionate sex that propelled us to a new level of intimacy, Greg got to telling me how he tried to take his life at thirteen and nearly died. After the intensity we experienced from crying together over his darkest secret, it prompted him to start popping the question. "We had a baby moment…I discovered I have a little pooch." She patted her belly. "I showed Greg and we've been a little mushy ever since."
Both Greg and Sara gawked at her.
"Oh my god!" Tawny's hand rushed to her mouth. "I forgot you're hoping you're pregnant."
Looking at his significant other he informed her, "Sweetie, no offense, but you stink at the comforting a girl with a broken heart thing. This is why I never had my girlfriend in the room when I was working my magic."
Trying to take her mind off her own problem for a moment, Sara asked, "Exactly how many steady girlfriends have you had in your life, Greg?"
"Two including Tawny." Glancing over at his future wife he clarified, "But I've only been in love once."
Sara sank a little deeper into the cushions. "Is Jim in a real relationship with her or is it just casual sex? How serious is it?"
Greg let his mouth speak without his mind's consent. "With Lady Heather, I doubt the sex is casual!" Now it was his turn to cover his mouth. "Maybe I'm a little rusty."
Watching the distress on Sara's face grow, Tawny decided to take a direct approach. "Hey, let's do what Dr. Myers would ask us to do." She took a seat on the one spot of couch left and sat sideways looking over Greg at Sara. "Let's define the areas of concern. There were three people involved…Heather, Jim and Gil. You are pissed at all three, but for different reasons and to varying degrees…your husband being the one you're most ticked at by far…and rightly so. Where do you want to start?"
"Let's start with the easy one…the mean girl who has been following me since I was nine trying to make me feel like shit," Sara replied. "Her current incarnation is Lady Heather. Before college they exploited the fact I was a foster care kid and that my mom killed my dad, and in..."
"I didn't know your mom killed your dad, Sara." Tawny felt a chill up her spine.
Greg looked at his friend. "You didn't say I could tell her, so I didn't."
Sara was grateful for the loyalty on a day when she felt she had very little. She was also grateful that after nearly a year in therapy and achieving closure, she was able to discuss the subject calmly. "My dad battered my mom, physically and psychologically. One day, when I was nine, she decided to end the abuse permanently. It's one of the reasons I love my job…I get to catch guys who think they're getting away with it."
"I'm really sorry that happened to you, Sara," Tawny empathized. "I know how tough it is to lose a parent and lose your home."
"I know you do." Sara found a smile to share. "That's why it was really important to me to let you stay at the townhouse. I wanted you to have a nice place to call home."
"Aww! Really! I thought you did it for Chuckles." Tawny lunged over Greg and threw her arms around Sara and hung on for dear life. "I love you for thinking of me! I'm so glad you're my friend."
Sara balked at the physical affection and when he realized it, Greg gently peeled his girl away from his friend. "Let's not smother her, Honey. Sara's never been much of a PSV'er."
"Sorry. Back on topic." Tawny returned to her spot. "Here's something ironic…earlier this year, when Heather was trying to convince me to work for her, she told me her life story."
Shocked, Sara asked, "She wanted you to be a dominatrix?"
"No, a submissive."
Sara and Greg's expressions sickened in sync.
"Yeah…it kills me thinking it too," Greg admitted. "A victim of multiple sex crimes getting pushed around by men trying to get off by feeling powerful over her."
"Okay, but that's not the irony, and this isn't about me." Tawny redirected the discussion. "Heather was a victim of spousal abuse. That's how she ended up in Vegas. It was psychological at first and then he started pushing her around. Eventually he got real rough and she fought back, sending him to the hospital with a cracked skull. She packed up her stuff and her daughter and bolted to here. A woman in her apartment complex was working as a dominatrix and recruited her…the rest is history."
While Sara sat quietly pondering the revelation, Greg joined the discussion. "It's a common scenario…the victim of a bully becomes a bully. Heather got pushed around, so now she pushes around other people to feel powerful. I did an extensive paper on the subject in college for a Psych class. But, Sara, don't feel bad, even though I'm versed on the subject, I still get sucked in myself. I was just mouthing off to your husband about Heather being a bitch, and take Hodges for example. Most days I don't let him get to me but, every once in a while, if I'm feeling vulnerable, I snap. Then I feel like an idiot for letting him get to me. It's my tweak. Sounds like it's yours too…everyone has baggage that sets off their hot buttons. It's just something to keep working on."
Tawny slyly slipped her hand in Greg's and gave it a squeeze.
"Thanks," Sara replied. "Because I do feel like an idiot falling into the same trap."
"Here's what you need to remember…what I'm supposed to remember….when someone bullies you, it's a sign they are insecure with themselves. People who feel good about themselves don't enjoy tormenting other people. How many people do you know with happy lives that give you shit?" He looked at both women. "Right…no one."
Tawny chimed in. "I can vouch for that one. Even though I was the most popular girl in school, before my dad died I was never mean to anyone. I was Miss Congeniality in every pageant I entered! But after my dad died and things started to get bad at home…my claws came out…especially with girls who I thought had perfect homes. I couldn't stomach their happiness. If I heard one of them going on about what their daddy bought them…look out. I'm not proud of it but, it's true. I way beyond that now."
Greg slipped his arm around Tawny. "Mean girls are insecure either in general, or there's something about you that tweaks them and they react to it by coming down on you. It could be a personality trait in you that they are scared to acknowledge in themselves so when they see it in you they feel compelled to attack. Or, it's something tangible you have which they don't. Like in Tawny's case…targeting girls with happy homes. What did you used to do, Sweetie?"
"Sometimes…if a girl was talking about something special they did with their dad, I would um…tell them they had no choice but to do stuff with their dad because they were too weird or ugly to get a boyfriend." She cringed. "I was such a bitch about it too." She felt twice as bad now after hearing that severe bullying contributed to Greg's teenage crisis.
Greg turned to Sara. "And once the mean girl sees that you feel bad about it, they feel better because they've taken the special thing away from you too. It's all about them, it's not about you. That's what you're supposed to remember. That's why it happens without provocation most of the time. You're really not doing anything to them. It's all in their head."
Sara finally commented, "Okay, but this isn't about Heather wanting Gil. If she wanted him she could have had him. She's the one that walked away when he tried to apologize. And she's obviously into Jim or what would be the point of putting up with all this bullshit? Surely she could find someone else to date that would be more convenient?"
"Yeah, I agree." Greg kicked his feet up on the coffee table while he pondered aloud. "It's not about Grissom. It's about something else you have…maybe from him? Like a commitment maybe? But if her first marriage was so awful and she's not married since, hmm…" He looked to Tawny. "Since I'm fuzzy about Saturday night, can you remember anything significant that would support or discount that theory?"
"Um…here's what happened." She turned her eyes to the ceiling as she recalled the chain of events. "You told her she was a colossal bitch to Sara…that started it. Then Heather snapped and said you wanted to sleep with her the night you were working the case. Then I got pissed when I thought you were into bondage and were gonna spring it on me one day. You reminded me not to blow up before getting your thoughts and then Heather accused you of being domineering and controlling. That set you off and you told her I wasn't used to guys being straight with me and you were just reminding me that we agreed to communicate respectfully. Then she really started needling you and you played right into her hands. You told her you can see why Sara loses it around her. By the time she was done with you, you looked like a defensive fool and she looked like the cat that ate the canary."
Greg stared in awe. "Whoa…I don't remember most of that." Then he winked at Sara. "I do recall puking everything I inhaled at your party on her boots though. Hold that happy thought in your head for a while."
Sara couldn't help but smile from the revelation and the imagery. "And you ate all that chicken. Thanks, Bro. You're my new hero."
"Uh…" Tawny groaned. "Guess who ended up cleaning up after Chuckles? I'm the real hero of the story!"
"Oh, enough about me!" Greg declared. "Back to the analysis."
Sara desperately wanted to analyze the information and find a logical explanation, but her mind was so cluttered with emotion she wasn't her usual self.
Greg, having spent a lot of time evaluating bully behavior, came to the answer rapidly. "Got it! Hearing a woman being protected by a man is her trigger. Which makes total sense since her husband did the opposite. And…from what we know about women who enter abusive relationships, maybe she didn't have her father's protection either."
"Oooh!" Tawny shrieked with delight. "You're good, Honey! That's a great theory."
Sara built on the concept. "She came into the locker room at the gym and I flaunted my wedding band and told her she couldn't upset me because I knew my marriage was solid. So, if your theory is true, it would have triggered her and because I didn't know my husband was keeping this from me, I was playing right into her hands. She went on to ask me questions…does my husband lie to me, does he respect me, do I trust him? Of course, I answered a confident yes to all of the above." Cringing, she dropped her head in her hands. "No wonder she was salivating. She knew I'd be finding out that all those things weren't true."
Tawny functioned as scorekeeper. "So we've got her figured out, onto Jim."
Sara didn't hesitate. "I think he was a coward who didn't want to tell me he was hooked up with the woman who berated me. A woman he ruthlessly bashed all night at The Lunar Lounge…remember, Greg?"
"Uh…" He nodded. "Most of it, but I was pretty wasted that night too. He was definitely cutting her down though…to make you feel better." He glanced at Tawny. "I must sound like such a boozer to you. It was in good fun both times. I wasn't drinking to forget or anything."
"I'm not worried." She flashed a reassuring smile. "I can see why that would be confusing, Sara."
"Yeah." She rolled her eyes. "Why would Heather, a woman we now theorize yearns for a man's protection, put up with a duplicitous guy? It makes no sense."
"Unless…" Greg theorized. "Jim means enough to Heather that she was willing to put up with it for a little while because she understood why he was hesitant to tell you."
Tawny added her own thoughts. "Which totally explains why Heather was pissed on Saturday, but Jim was able to calmly get her into the kitchen and when she returned she apologized to Greg and me and congratulated us on the baby. She wouldn't listen to a man unless she believed him or cared enough about him to put her own needs second. Kind of how I also consider what's best for Greg now when I'm making decisions, instead of only thinking about myself." Poking her man she gave an example, "Like this morning when you got that call about the job. If I was only thinking of myself I would encourage you to take it for the money."
"Job offer?" Sara's mind temporarily switched gears. "At the lab?"
"No. And I'm not taking it," He quickly informed her. "Back to Brass…there's no way he slept with Heather the night we were working the case. If he had, he would have wanted to go home and go to bed, not party with us. No offense to Brass, but let's be realistic. Maybe it was a love/hate thing. That night he was pissed at her so he goes to confront her and later when he thinks about it, he realizes he's fascinated with her or attracted to her. He wants to explore it, but he's secretive because he feels guilty because of how she treated you."
Tawny asked, "Are you and Jim that close?"
"Yes." Sara released a sigh. "In my sessions with Dr. Myers I realized I was using him as a father-figure. And he has issues with his own daughter so I think it worked for him too."
Greg nodded vigorously. "And since he knows about your past, he wouldn't want to disappoint you like your own father did. So he was waiting for the right time to break the news." Taking Tawny's hand he confessed, "I can relate to that, trust me. It's exactly why I haven't told my dad about the baby. I want to frame it right. At first Brass probably wanted to give it some time after the incident at the Dominion. Then you and Gris had some personal stuff going on. It snowballs. You start thinking…a better time will come. My dad was in town yesterday, I should have told him about the baby, but I thought…wait until you go to California, it's only two weeks away. See how that works?"
Tawny felt compelled to ask a question. "Does it bother you that it's Heather? I mean because she slept with Gil, not necessarily that she's been bitchy to you? Because her bitchiness to you is a valid reason for you not to like her, while the other is not. No one likes someone who cuts them down unless they are self-loathing and enjoy the validation."
Sara considered it carefully and then replied honestly, "I think it's kind of strange to want to sleep with someone after your friend did. Why would Jim…"
"Sorry, not to a guy." Greg jumped in. "It's all good. Especially in this scenario because Gris didn't kick Heather to the curb, so Jim's not getting sloppy seconds in the traditional sense."
Looking at her man, Tawny said, "That's such a relief because I've been worried how you would react if you found out I did the wild thing with Nick at a party once."
"WHAT!" Greg clutched his head. "How long ago?"
"Yeah…it's not a big deal until it's PERSONAL! I was proving a point." Tawny shook with laughter. "I never did the nasty with Nicky, Baby."
Once he could speak, Greg clarified, "I said a guy doesn't mind sleeping with a woman after his friend is done with her, I NEVER said a guy doesn't mind finding out his friend slept with his serious girlfriend after the fact. To a guy, that's a HUGE difference."
Sara chuckled. "The look on your face, Greg. What difference would it make if she slept with Nick, now that she's happy with you and Nick is engaged to Carrie?"
"It's squicky on so many levels…except one." He grinned. "But it would be impolite to share it."
Tawny knew exactly what he was referring to…the fact that she repeatedly told him he was the best lover she ever had.
Sara finally answered the question. "Aside from thinking it's a little gross that Jim wants someone Gil had, and even though I think what Heather does for a living is nasty, and considering she's been a bitch to me during every one of our interactions…I don't have to like who Jim dates and he shouldn't expect me to like someone who has gone out of their way to make me uncomfortable."
"Right." Tawny looked at Greg and saw he was nodding.
"It was his lying and joking about it to my face that set me off more than finding out it was her. But if I take into account the snowball effect you mentioned Greg, and he tells me the jokes were just a nervous reaction, not an attempt to hurt my feelings, I will be able to understand."
Greg nodded approvingly. "Great…two down, one to go."
Her voice turning sad once more Sara said, "Which brings us to the last of the trio…my husband's role in this cover up, which is by far, the worst part." She checked her watch. "It's nine-thirty and I…"
"Nine-thirty!" Greg jumped up. "Damn! I only had an hour break."
Staring at Greg's ass as he darted across the room, Sara commented, "I'd change your pants before you head back. It looks like you sat in something. There's a spot on the couch too." Her nose activated. "Bleach with…" She leapt from the couch. "…a hint of musk. OH! That's what you were doing when I knocked and why you vaulted over the couch to sit there!"
Tawny jumped up,pleading for clemency from the germphobe. "Usually we'd use a blanket but we're tossing this couch when we move and well…it's been six days and I was in a hurry. Seriously, I don't usually defile furniture! Great…now just like Nick and Carrie, we'll be banned from your Tahoe cabin."
Greg grabbed his other jeans off the kitchen table and swapped them out while he stood behind the kitchen counter. "If I see Gris, do you want me to tell him where you are? If you don't feel up to going home tonight you're more than welcome to stay here." He chuckled as he buttoned his pants. "Since the couch is out of the question, you can have my sleeping bag."
"Thanks." Sara considered the offers. "Tell him so he doesn't worry. I'll see how I'm feeing after I talk the rest of this through with Tawny and if I don't feel like going home I'll use your sleeping bag."
"And no listening to depressing Lilith Rock, Sara. Tawny has Kelly Clarkson's Thankful, that's as pissed off as you should go."
Tawny rushed over to see her man off to work for the second time that day. "Be right back, Sara, I'm going to step out for a minute. Have a donut! They're on the kitchen counter." Grabbing Greg's hand she hurried out the front door and once there, she tossed her arms around his neck. "I love you." She pecked his lips. "Don't work too late."
"I won't." He grabbed a kiss from her lips and then bent over to brush one over her womb. "I love you both." Then he hurried away, amazed at how much emotion he had felt in the course of a day. When he left that morning he wasn't sure what he could handle. Now, fifteen hours later, he felt balanced and calm…all because of the love of a good woman. As he climbed into his Tahoe and saw the photo file of the little girl in the ladybug dress, he hoped that Nick was able to find the same peace in Carrie's arms.
The Blakes
Two hours earlier…
When Carrie gained entry into Fort Knox, after she stowed her belongings in the guest room, she prepared to do exactly what she and Wendy had agreed upon…play dumb. It was a test to see if Nick would be fronting.
"He's in my bedroom reading McKenna a bedtime story," Wendy informed her. "She'll be sleeping with me tonight."
"I don't blame Nick for being paranoid with that mailing list book missing." She shuddered at the thought of a nefarious person snatching a loved one as she watched Wendy re-alarm the house. "I'll head back there."
"Have you eaten?"
"No. I'm starving."
Wendy walked towards the kitchen. "I'll make you some snacks and leave them in the guest room."
"Thanks, Sis." Smiling, she headed down the hall towards the master suite. Just a foot outside the open door she heard Nick reading in the sweetest voice…
"The Duke went from house to house, with a small glass slipper in his hand. For the prince had said he would marry no one but the girl who could wear that tiny shoe."
McKenna asked in a sleepy voice, "Aunt Carrie has a lot of shoes. It would be easy for her to lose one. Is that what happened? You found one of her shoes and took it around and when it fit you asked her to marry you?"
In the hall, Carrie covered her mouth to stifle her laughter.
Lowering the book for a second, Nick, who was lying on top of the downy white comforter, told the curious girl, "Your Aunt Carrie has more shoes than my five sisters combined when I was growing up."
Burrowed under the covers holding her blankie in one hand and her tattered stuffed bunny Mr. Peter Rabbit in the other, the little girl gasped, "Wow! You must have been really poor! Did you have food every day?"
Nick chuckled. "Don't worry, Sweetie Pie, we weren't poor and we always had plenty of food. My mom and dad just didn't believe in spoiling their kids. We had a pair of church shoes, two pair of school shoes and a pair of play shoes. Then anything extra we needed for sports or riding. That's it. When we got older we were expected to get jobs if we wanted to buy extra stuff."
"My dad says grandpa spoils Aunt Carrie rotten. Is that gonna be your job when you marry her?"
"I started doing that the first night I met her."
In a dreamy princess voice she asked, "Did you love her as soon as you saw her, like the Prince loved Cinderella when he saw her at the ball?"
Pressed against the outside wall of the room, Carrie anxiously waited Nick's reply.
"I thought she was very pretty when I first saw her and then when your mommy introduced her to me and I got to talk to her, I realized she was smart and funny too. That's when I really wanted to go on a date with her. So I asked her out to dinner and when we were out, I'd say it took me…oh…about two hours to fall crazy in love with her. And it wasn't because the shoe fit that I asked her to marry me, it was because her heart fit so well with mine."
With her hands over her heart, Carrie melted from her fiancé's loving words.
Confused, McKenna asked, "How did you see Aunt Carrie's heart to know it fit with yours? Did you get an x-er-ray like Ryan did at the hospital when he broke his arm?"
"No," He laughed sweetly again. "It just felt right."
"Eww! You felt her heart! Was it mushy?"
Outside the door, Carrie shook with laughter while wondering how her patient fiancé was going to get out of this corner he talked himself into so well.
"Not feel like in touching with my fingers." He paused to think of a way to explain it. "Like in the story…even before she loses her shoe, the Prince knows Cinderella is the girl for him, right?"
"How did he know?" She followed her question with a lion-sized yawn.
"Because they did lots of talking when they were dancing…and they found out stuff…things like…how they wanted to have the same number of kids and live in the same kind of house. When they were dancing, if the Prince had said he only wanted to live by the ocean and Cinderella said I only want to live in the mountains they wouldn't have matched. Your aunt and I want to live in the same place."
"I sure hope it's Las Vegas because I'll miss you and Aunt Carrie if you move to the ocean." Her eyes fluttered shut and she hugged her Mr. Peter Rabbit a little tighter.
"Don't worry, we're not going anywhere." Relieved the interrogation was over, he returned to the story. "Every girl in the land tried to put it on. The mean stepsisters tried hardest of all. But not a one could wear the glass shoe. And where was Cinderella? Locked in her room. Poor Cinderella, it looked like the Duke would surely pass her by. But her little mice friends took the key and pushed it under the door."
Unable to stay away a second longer, Carrie strolled into the room. "Hi, Honey." She pointed to the bed. "You can stop reading…your audience fell asleep."
"I wondered why the questions suddenly stopped." While gently slipping away, he glanced over at McKenna. A chill raced up his spine when he saw her lying still on her back under the stark white cover. Bolting to his feet he clutched his chest. Luckily his hasty departure disturbed the little girl enough for her to shift and snap him out of the trance.
"Nicky?" When Carrie placed her hands on his shoulders and gave them a squeeze she felt the tension. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah…I…" By the time he turned around he was calm. "Did Wendy tell you about the missing mailing list book and this killer on the loose?"
"Yeah, when I showed up."
"It has me a little jumpy is all."
She knew immediately he was fronting. "So, tough day?"
"Some of it." Taking her in his arms he asked, "How was your day? Your secretary said you were unexpectedly in court for most of it." He started walking her out of the room. "What happened?"
Pretending she didn't know he had a nervous breakdown that morning she replied, "My day stunk. You know that jerk I work with, Clive Braxley?"
"He's your Sofia…irritating as hell."
"Right! He was blowing a statutory rape case and asked me to tell my personal story to the girl because…and I quote…he heard it worked like a charm and I could make her testify." She shivered thinking about Tawny sleeping with the arrogant ass TWICE, including once to avoid the hassle of telling him no. "Needless to say I blasted the pig. By six o'clock, I elevated his status from jerk to supreme asshole."
Pissed that any man would toss around Carrie's story so insensitively he grumped, "I think I'll pay Mr. Braxley a visit the next time I'm at the courthouse to testify."
"You gonna rough him up for me, Tex?" In the hallway she saw Wendy approaching. "I found him."
"Is my daughter asleep?"
Carrie purposely replied, "Snug as a ladybug."
Nick swallowed hard, trying not to think of the little girl and her ladybug dress.
"I'll see you two in the morning," Wendy announced. "And, Nick, you really don't have to take Sean running at five a.m."
"It's not a problem." He shook his head. "The exercise will do me good and he's really looking forward to it."
"Okay then, I'll set the alarm." She winked at Carrie. "Have a good night."
Walking down the hall he whispered, "What was that wink for? She doesn't think we're gonna get it on under her roof, does she?"
"This isn't your mama's house, Nicky." She giggled. "She gave us permission as long as we keep it down to a low roar."
"Not gonna happen." Taking her by the hand he led the way to the guest room.
"Actually, what I really want to do is talk wedding plans!" She informed him as they entered the guest room. She knew it would be the last thing he wanted to discuss.
"Wedding plans?" It was the last thing he wanted to discuss, but since she had a rough day, he wanted to make her happy. "Great, let's have it." He took a seat on the edge of the bed. "What's the topic?"
"Music." Walking across the room she turned on the portable stereo.
"We already decided on the band."
"The playlist." She readied the special song. "There's a specific song I want the band to sing and I'd like your opinion."
"Okay." Since his shoes were already off, he kicked back on the bed. "Let's hear it."
After pressing play, she raced to the end of the bed, dove next to Nick and spoke quickly so she could get it all in before the lyrics. "It's my song to you. I didn't want you to hear it until the reception, but a little birdie named Sara told me you had a really tough day in the field and I wanted to do something special to cheer you up. Taking a cue from Chuckles…I decided to play you a song from the heart."
He turned on his side to face her. "You know about what happened in the field?"
"I know." Running her fingertip over his lips she whispered, "Listen to the words." It was Sara Evans, I Could Not Ask for More.
"Very appropriate song." He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "I guess I shouldn't be smiling." He tried to stop. "Cause I'm in trouble for pretending nothing was wrong when you came in, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but I still love you…" Bringing her lips to his she whispered, "…even when you're fronting, Tough Guy." The last thing she wanted to do for him was play the part of the loose woman, so she was relieved when the tenderness of his kiss demonstrated it wasn't what he needed that night. He needed what she could give him without any effort…a hefty dose of love and affection.
"I love you, Carrie." He caressed her cheek. "Thank you for the song…and for your heart."
"I sure hope you don't want to feel my heart." She wrinkled her nose. "Eww. I've heard they're mushy."
"You were listening." Now it was his turn to explode into a smile.
"Eavesdropping in the hallway and falling a little harder for you every minute. I started imagining you were reading to our little girl."
"Today Greg was having a rough time dealing with the fact he was becoming a daddy." Intoxicated by the love in his fiancée's eyes Nick confessed, "I can't wait to be one. Even on a day like today when I'm reminded of what's out there. Even when I'm obsessed with the pressure of being a husband and father." Securing her in his arms he closed his eyes. "I also can't wait to dance to this song with you at our wedding. I'm picturing it in my mind. You do it too and we'll compare notes."
After listening to half the song, Carrie opened her eyes. "How was it for you?"
"Fantastic! Amazing! Best damn day of my life. Everything was perfect…" He beamed. "…except the napkin color…I'm rethinking the teal."
Rolling on her back she convulsed with laughter.
"Hush now…Wendy's gonna think we're gettin' frisky."
"OH!" Carried shrieked with pleasure to goad him. "Stokes you're too much! OH!"
If asked an hour before, he would have thought it impossible to feel this happy on a horrible day. "Roxie's acting up." Covering her mouth with his hand, he rolled her on her side toward the wall. "Such a naughty girl." The tension in his body was melting like ice on July asphalt. "If you promise to behave like a lady, I'll let you go."
Still laughing uncontrollably, she nodded frantically and when he released her she informed him as she faced him, "Good thing you let me go, because I have another surprise for you."
"Really?" With his thumb he wiped away her mascara, which had smeared from her tears of laughter. "Well get to it, Baby."
Rolling over Nick, she bounced off the bed and over to her bag. "First I need supplies. While I'm getting them, you need to strip down to your boxers, Stud. Then just lie there with your eyes closed."
He tossed his blue pullover, shed his pants and socks, and then collapsed against the paisley comforter with his eyes closed and his hands locked behind his head. "Look at the level of compliance you're getting here. Impressive from a control freak, don't you think?"
"I'm in awe," She teased while setting an aromatherapy ceramic pot on the nightstand.
"Hmm…the strike of a match." Before the oil even heated, the fragrance caught his nose. "I smell lavender."
"Kind of foofy thing for a tough guy to know."
"It's part of the job." Peaking out of one eye he cautioned, "You're not thinking of tying me up to get me to have some kind of intense emotional breakthrough and release, are you? Because I still have a little of the control freak in me and…"
"No! Now keep your eyes closed." She smirked. "But I don't see why that should bother you because I heard from Wendy you're very talented when it comes to knots."
With his eyes clamped shut again, he chuckled. "Yeah…she wasn't too happy to find out about my little arrangement with Sean. But then when she heard him plead, she said we could continue the lessons. Hopefully he'll never find himself tied up again, but if he does, he'll know some tricks." Breathing deeply he savored the relaxing scent. "Maybe I should get some of this aromatherapy stuff for my office."
"A lavender scented office won't ruin your manly image?"
"Uh…not any more than having twenty cops witness me losing my mind, no."
She knew that had to be killing him. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been if his dad had been there to see it. "They'll forget eventually. When the next scandal hits, you'll be off the radar, especially if it involves sex or someone who outranks you." After shedding her clothes down to her panties, which were purposely the same color as the fragrance, she pulled on one of Nicks white v-neck t-shirts she had brought from home. He always liked when she swiped one to lounge in around the house.
"Well then, hopefully Jim does something scandalous tonight and spares me some time in the spotlight."
Lastly, she grabbed the bottle of Eucalyptus Spearmint massage oil she purchased at Bath and Body Works before driving to Wendy's. "Open your eyes." She was dangling the bottle. "I'll be your masseuse this evening. Roll over, Stress Boy."
Thrilled by the look of her in the white tee as well as her plans, his voice was thick with approval. "I wish I would have known you would do all this special stuff. And hey, if you're doing this much because you heard from Sara that I wigged out at work, I'm truly sorry I didn't leave you a voicemail when I was bawling my eyes out for Greggo and rambling about crayons. Lord knows what you would be doing if you heard me oozing vulnerability first hand." With that he flipped on his belly. "Hell, we might be at a chapel right now."
"That's right." She straddled his thighs. "Let that be a lesson to you." Pouring a hefty dollup of oil in her palm she told him, "When I was talking to Wendy she told me I need to teach you that it's okay to let your guard down. You're not going to believe her analogy. Bear in mind she knows nothing about our sex life."
"Uh…I'd beg to differ, Baby."
She vigorously rubbed her palms to warm the lotion. "Why?"
"Earlier this evening, Kenna announced that she heard you tell Wendy I was the biggest man you ever had and then she heard the two of you giggling."
"OH!" Her palm flew to her mouth. That's when the bitter oil on her skin seeped into her mouth, making her leap off the bed and reach for one of the glasses of lemonade Wendy had left on the dresser with the snacks. "She did not!"
Amused by her panic he guffawed, "What I want to know is…did you contextualize your comment for Wendy? Does she know you were only with two other guys or does she think I'm in the number one spot of Carrie's Hot 100?"
"HA!" She mounted him again. "Sorry, Honey, she knows you're the best of three. And that was the only time I've discussed my sex life with her…except for earlier on the phone." Still blushing, she confessed the details while smoothing her oil-covered hands over the tight muscles of his back. "It was the day after our first time together and I was over here. We were splitting a bottle of wine while making ten dozen cupcakes for some charity bake sale. She dropped a tub of frosting and when I bent down to pick it up, I groaned. She asked what was wrong, and in my wine bliss I blurted why I was sore from our night together, explaining that I hadn't been with anyone for two years and also sharing the detail McKenna obviously overheard. Just my luck, the one time I share stuff I get busted. The good girls always get busted!"
"Speaking of good…" Nick gave an extended moan of approval. "You're rocking my world with this massage. I hope you don't mind, but this is definitely going into my wedding vows as a requirement. Will honor and cherish as long as my wife gives me nightly massages."
"I've already written my vows a dozen times on my laptop. It calms me down at the office when I'm having a crappy day." She kneaded his Traps. "When that doesn't work I think about us in Kauai."
"On your laptop, huh?" He snickered, "And you're supposed to be a crafty lawyer type."
Squeezing extra hard she threatened, "You better not peek!"
"Ow!" When she released her death grip he pleaded, "Now do that again because it hurt so good."
While she tortured him she remarked, "I'll be changing my laptop password."
"We can override that at work and head straight for the hard drive." When her nails dug into his flesh he caved, "I promise I won't peek!"
"So, do you want to talk about what happened today? Or do you just want to bliss out and not deal?"
"Options!" He celebrated with an infectious laugh. "Do I really have a choice?"
"I promise both options are valid." She reached for the oil bottle and shook out another dose.
After a minute he presented a counteroffer. "I'll talk about it if you promise to keep working out the knots and you don't push to make me answer any questions I don't feel like answering. Because I'm lovin' the mood here and I'm tired of thinking."
Leaning down she dropped a kiss on his cheek. "I'll take your plea bargain."
"Thank you, Counselor." After another lavender-tinged inhale he said, "There are some parts I still can't remember…"
Crime Lab
9:56 p.m.
Greg hustled straight to Trace with his paint samples. Since it was five minutes to shift change he was hoping to drop everything off to Mandy from Swing rather than Hodges. "Hey, Mandy." She looked especially cute with her new spiky two-tone hair. "Are you dandy?"
"With you here how can I be anything but randy?"
"Sorry…I waited for years, but you took too long to come around."
They shared a laugh because she knew Greg was totally into his girlfriend and Greg knew Mandy was a lesbian and had just moved into a new house with Carol, her partner for the last two years.
Watching Greg unpack his bag she said, "Tell me whatcha got so you can scoot before your pal struts in. Because you look far too happy tonight to get pissed off."
"I am happy!" He declared as he set the last of the samples on the counter. "Tawny and I just found out we're expecting." On the way in he decided he'd start sharing the good news.
"Congratulations!" She gave him a hug. "Carol and I are batting the idea around, but we keep getting stuck on the donor issue. Someone we know versus anonymous. Hey, maybe you could volunteer, Greg," She joked. "You're smart, funny and have great teeth."
"I'm flattered, really, but knowing I have one kid coming into this world has me overloaded."
"How far along is Tawny?"
They didn't see Hodges coming through the door.
"Two months. She has her first ultrasound next week. We're hoping to see the heartbeat."
"Say it isn't so," Hodges feigned an intense shiver. "A mini-Sanders is on the way? Hmm…maybe he trapped her to prove something."
Mandy choked on her laughter as she crossed the room to her desk. "I might believe that if he was in a ballet company…in the 70s." Still laughing, she picked up the phone to dial out.
Hodges leaned in and whispered, "If the slipper fits…"
"I did a thorough search of my closet years ago and didn't find one in there." Pissed at himself for retorting, Greg huffed, "How about we just end this right here, right now?"
Raising a brow Hodges curiously inquired, "Are you saying your selective memory problem has been rectified?"
"Look…" When he saw Grissom in the doorway he changed topics. "We need all the paint samples processed ASAP and compared with the ones from the dollhouse."
Hodges stood tall. "I assume you're looking for me. Don't worry, your stuff goes right to the top, Master."
"I was looking for Greg actually," He replied in a distant voice. "We need to hit the road."
It was apparent to Greg from the expression on Grissom's face that he was fighting off emotion. "Page me when you have the results, Hodges." Stepping into the hall, Greg glanced left and right, when he saw the coast was clear he revealed, "Sara's at my place with Tawny. She's cooling off and working things out in her head." Maybe that would calm him down.
"Thanks for letting me know." Grissom hurried down the hall. "We've got to go. You don't need your kit."
A little surprised at the lack of interest, Greg followed in silence until they were in the parking lot climbing into Grissom's Tahoe. "Where are we going?"
"What did Sara do when she first arrived at your place?"
Buckling up he remarked, "Okay…I guess we're switching back to that topic. She asked Tawny and me if we thought Lady Heather was Brass's mystery lady. We both answered yes, because we didn't want to lie to her face." As they left the parking lot he said, "You had to know she would be floored if she found out by surprise." He noticed Grissom was driving faster than normal and commented, "It's not like you to speed. Where are we going?"
"Where did you go after you left the McGuire residence?"
"And you accuse me of being manic?" He gave a light laugh. "You keep changing the topic. I stopped to grab something to eat and then I realized I had put in twelve and the county requires me to take an hour...not that we necessarily follow that rule but, I really wanted to see Tawny, so I went home to chill. Is that okay?"
"Absolutely." Grissom breathed deep. "Did you have a nice time…that is until Sara arrived?"
"A great time." Trying to reign in his enthusiasm he said, "You really want to hear about this when you're in the middle of something with Sara?"
"Yes."
"Okay." Completely baffled by the Master's erratic behavior he went on with his story. "Between you and me…I was about thirty seconds away from proposing to Tawny when Sara knocked on the door. Although, now that I'm out of the heat of the moment, I'm glad it didn't happen because I didn't have ring and I really want it to be special. Anyway…something great did come out of it, I think she finally realizes it's a given. Now she'll relax. I told her forever, I meant it and she believes me."
Grissom pulled into the emergency entrance of Desert Springs Hospital and pulled right up to the door. "Greg…"
"What are we doing here?"
"It's a really tough case. Promise me you'll hold it together?"
"Sure, I mean I'll do my best. Is it worse than this morning's?" When he saw the emotion building on his coworkers face his heart skipped a beat. "Gris? Are you okay?"
"Sara phoned me at the lab."
Greg couldn't believe they were changing the conversation back to personal. "Good news or…"
"She called because she had to rush Tawny here. Apparently, after you left the apartment, she went to the bathroom and discovered she was bleeding."
Without a word, he yanked on the door handle and bolted.
"Greg!" Grissom rushed out to follow him. "Sara specifically said you need to stay calm because Tawny is hysterical."
The plea didn't stop him.
Racing through the automatic doors Greg flew to the triage desk. "Greg Sanders here for Tawny Cooper."
"One moment."
His heart pounding in his chest he paced the floor. "Can you tell me where she is, please?" Rushing his fingers through his hair he begged, "Just tell me which way to go, please. Please!"
The grey-haired lady politely requested, "Keep your voice down, Sir. I promise I'll get someone to bring you right back."
"Greg!" Grissom caught up. "You need to calm down."
Whirling around he snapped, "I'm trying, dammit!"
"Then try harder!" Grissom barked in a paternal tone. "Right now! Do the breathing exercise you learned in Anger Management."
Stunned from the force of the command, he instantly did as instructed.
After watching Greg take a few deep breaths he soothed, "Much better. You can do this. I know you can." Grissom placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just think of it as your responsibility to stay calm for her. I'll be out here if you need anything."
Robotically he responded, "Got it. Thank you."
A young African American nurse wearing a smock covered in pastel smiley faces hurried over. "Are you Greg?"
He nodded while continuing the breathing exercise.
"Right this way." She pressed the automatic door opener to gain access into the ER. "We're all counting on you to get her to calm down, but you don't look so good yourself."
When they turned the corner, he heard her crying out. After breathing even deeper he answered the nurse, "Don't worry about me, I'll hold it together."
Next Chapter: Losing It – Part 10
Teaser: In times of crisis, it takesa little heart to make things right.
Posting: Wednesday evening 5/18
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Maggs