Disclaimer: Insert usual disclaimer here.
A/N: My sincere apologies to Legolas (who doesn't deserve fangirls treating him like this), Aragorn (who is actually one of my favorites), and the great and wonderful Tolkien (it's only a parody, really, I wouldn't seriously do this to your creations, I swear). By the way, "Rogwen" is Elvish for demon-maiden, because I just couldn't resist. I'm considering adding another entry; please tell me if I should. In a moment of insanity (I get those often), I submitted to my mom's considerable persuasive powers and actually agreed to perform this for a program she was doing on love for Valentines Day at our church. So, as you read this, picture a teenaged girl sprawled out on the floor, writing in her diary.
Dear Diary,
Today I watched LotR for the 28th time. Only three more times until I'll have seen it more than Marie. I can't believe she's seen it more than I have. She seems to think that that makes her somehow better than me. And she keeps telling me to read the books. As if! What's the point? I mean they're so long, it would be, like, work to read them. And there're no pictures, no pictures of my Leggy! But the worst thing about Marie, the one that makes me wonder how I could have ever thought that she was my friend, is that she thinks that Aragorn is hot. What does she see in him? I mean, he like so needs to brush his hair. Legolas is so much hotter. Don't you think so? .dreamy sigh. Tolkien was, like, so inspired to cast Orli as Legolas. Mmm.… Gorgeous blonde hair, those cute pointy ears, hotness perfected! .swoon. I have only about a million posters of him in my room. I wanted a Legolas bedspread too, but Mom said no. She is so evil. I hate her. I hate Marie too. But I luv Leggy.
Luv,
Rogwen Silverleaf
Elven Princess