A/N: Wow, I am so pleased with how much everyone seemed to enjoy the first chapter! So, I rushed this one out to answer the questions as to whether this was finished or not... it is definitely not. But I do have four small children, so most updates will not be nearly this fast. Probably about once a week or so. That's the best I can do. Er, Kurnal Jack... sorry, I'm not quite sure where you got that Jack starts this story off as a General and then becomes a Colonel... he doesn't. He's a Colonel all the way through. This is Season 7, only because I referenced the cute-as-a-button mini-Jack, but I suppose it's pre-Heroes and pre-Chimera, because Pete's not in the picture and Janet is. Well, here we go!
Previously...
The next thing they knew, they were standing in the gateroom with twenty or so guns pointed at them and General Hammond was yelling at them. "COLONEL O'NEILL! MAJOR CARTER! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE GATEROOM HALF NAKED!"
Ch 2: Little Technicalities
"Uh, well, funny story, sir," Jack started, looking down at himself to make sure his boxers were still in place. Why, of all days, did it have to be the day he was wearing the ones that had Bart mooning everyone?
Thor materialized in front of them both and Jack ordered, "Stand down, Airmen!" to everybody in the gate room, while General Hammond made his way down from the control room.
He looked at his two best officers in disbelief. They had both clearly just woken up, and Major Carter was wearing what looked suspiciously like one of Colonel O'Neill's shirts... and nothing else, it appeared. And what in the hell was on the Colonel's boxer shorts? The General suddenly started laughing.
Jack and Sam looked at each other in concern. Had they finally pushed the General over the edge? Was he completely cracked? They edged closer to each other, slightly worried.
"I just realized what a strange life I lead, in that I was more surprised to see the two of you like that than by the fact that an alien just beamed himself into my gateroom."
Jack and Sam laughed nervously.
Thor spoke up. "General Hammond, I have something of great importance to discuss with you..."
"Of course, Thor. Let's all go up to my office..."
"Um, sir, maybe Major Carter and I could go get dressed while Thor fills you in..." Jack suggested.
"Yes, please do, Colonel. Major. Dismissed."
They both snapped to attention automatically at that; it was a reflex. The fact that they were so very much out of uniform as they did it made everyone in the crowded gate room and control room, who had all been watching the entire scene in shocked silence, finally burst out laughing.
Sam practically ran out of the gateroom. Jack followed quickly, trying to keep up with her,making a mental note to figure out exactly which Airman he overheard making a comment about his 2IC's legs and beat the crap out of him later.
Sam was already halfway to the locker room. "How the hell do you move so fast with bare feet?" Jack demanded, ignoring the way all the people in the hallways were stepping out of their way and watching them in complete shock.
Hell, they worked at the SGC, they should be used to seeing strange things by now. Although, to be fair, perhaps they had never seen anything quite as strange as the 2IC of the entire base in Simpsons boxers, chasing after his 2IC, who was wearing only a big gray tee-shirt and royal blue underpants.
Jack slammed the door to their locker room behind him, trying not to appear out of breath, because Carter wasn't. She was calmly but quickly getting dressed. Jack went over to his locker and forced himself to stare straight into its boring gray depths as he began dressing as well.
They should talk, right? They had to. I mean, come on, Thor was up in General Hammond's office right now, trying to convince him to let them...
"Carter, we need to..." Jackbegan reluctantly.
The doors were thrown open again and the other half of SG1 entered. Jack didn't know whether to be grateful for the sight of Teal'c and Daniel or not. It did instantly drain all the tension out of the room though. And somehow he was now able to see the humour of the situation.
"Jack, Sam, what the hell is going on?" Daniel demanded.
"What do you mean, Daniel?" Jack asked in his most-innocent voice, unable to resist torturing the archaeologist just a bit.
"I mean, Lieutenant Simmons just burst into the commissary where Teal'c and I were eating breakfast and announced to everyone that you two were beamed into the gate room with Thor and were running around in your underpants!" Daniel said quickly.
"Easy there, Danny, don't have an asthma attack on us," Jack said calmly. "You seem to have been informed correctly then," he added.
"Okay, but why were you beamed into the gate room with Thor and..." Daniel started.
Jack glanced at Sam, who was taking more than enough time on her boots, which let him know in no uncertain terms he was on his own to explain this one. Teal'c looked only mildly curious about what was happening. Nevertheless, the large man waited politely for his explanation.
"Oh, just Thor's new plan to save the Asgard," Jack said casually, tucking his black tee-shirt into his pants. "He's up there trying to get permission for Carter and me to start making some super-smart babies."
Daniel stared at him for a few seconds and then laughed. "God, Jack, you had me for a second there. Good one. No really, what does Thor..."
Jack looked at Daniel pointedly. Daniel looked at Sam, who nodded grimly. Daniel looked at Teal'c, who was grinning calmly from ear to ear. That was disturbing on so many levels.
"He wants... why does he..." Daniel spluttered.
"Well we all know about my genetic superiority," Jack said with a smug smile he couldn't keep off his face whenever that got brought up. "And apparently the Asgard all have crushes on Carter or something, I guess they've got a thing for brainy blondes..."
"SG-1 to General Hammond's office!" Harriman announced over the PA system.
"That was fast," Sam muttered as they headed out of the locker room.
Jack nodded, not bothering to respond verbally. He wasn't sure if the quick summons was a good thing or a bad thing.
A stern look from Carter on the way to Hammond's office put an end to all the funny looks they were getting from various SGC personnel. Jack couldn't keep the glow of pride off his face as he watched her glare put people in their proper places. Yeah, as the Asgard felt the need to point out, she was insanely smart. But he still liked to think he'd taught her a thing or two.
"Come," Hammond ordered immediately as Teal'c knocked on the General's door. They all filed in, the office becoming slightly crowded.
Thor was seated in one of the two chairs facing the General's desk, which made him look even tinier than usual. Jack wondered if the reason they were meeting here rather than the briefing room was because Thor might have trouble seeing over the table. He had a random mental picture of Thor sitting on Teal'c's lap, or maybe even General Hammond's, and had to turn an inappropriate outburst of laughter into a coughing fit.
Hammond looked at him suspiciously. Thor narrowed his eyes slightly. Teal'c wacked Jack on the back a lot harder than was necessary.
"Thanks, T," Jack gasped, gesturing for Carter to take the other seat next to Thor. It wasn't really proper; as higher ranking officer he should have sat, but he was uncomfortable and wanted to move around anyway. He and Daniel both took spots leaning against the General's lowshelves.
Jack reached behind him and picked up a model airplane to keep his hands occupied as General Hammond began speaking. "Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, I assume you've been informed of the unique request Supreme Commander Thor has made, and I thought I'd save Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill the hassle of repeating it all to you. Besides, some of these decisions might end up affecting SG1 as a whole, so you all deserve to be here..."
"Ohforcryingoutloud, sir, you can't be seriously considering ordering Carter to..." Jack started, angry.
"Jack!" George said sharply. "Of course I am not going to order Major Carter or yourself to do anything."
"Thank you sir," Sam mumbled.
General Hammond looked back and forth between his two officers, not really knowing what to say to either of them. They certainly managed to get themselves into some pretty bizarre situations. He would have been laughing his bum off at this one if Major Carter wasn't involved in Thor's request. She just looked so uncomfortable he couldn't find the heart to laugh at her. At least not until she was out of the room. The poor woman looked like she had swallowed an overloading naquadah reactor.
"Thor's... request... is merely being put forward as that. A request," Hammond began in what he hoped was a gentle voice.
"Well, request denied!" Jack said in his most sarcastic voice.
"Colonel," Hammond corrected sharply. "I am willing to let a dialogue continue regarding this subject but only if all parties agree to behave."
"Yes, sir," Jack mumbled. This whole thing was ridiculous.
"O'Neill, I am sorry to have made you so uncomfortable," Thor began. "We have studied your species closely. We have studied you, O'Neill, closely. We saw how much you cared for the life of your own clone a few months ago. We do not understand why this request is being considered so controversial. Surely you would enjoy having children of your own? And Major Carter, you are much younger than O'Neill, I understand you have more time to procreate. The council merely consider you to be one of our favorite humans."
"Thank you, Thor, I'm sure you mean this as a compliment in your own way," Sam started, trying her best to be diplomatic. She suddenly wished Janet had been invited to this meeting as well, so that she wouldn't be the only woman in the room.
"May I say something?" Daniel asked.
"Of course, Daniel Jackson. Your opinion is highly valued by the council as well. While you do not possess the Ancient gene, we would consider it a detriment to your species if you never procreated as well."
"Uh... right. Thanks. I... think. Okay, Thor, if I understand this properly, you need people who carry the Ancient gene to procreate, to pass along their DNA so that it can continue to evolve naturally..."
"That is true in a very basic sense."
"Okay, well, a lot of people have this gene, many of whom must have children already. We know you study... us... so I think what we're trying to understand here is why you feel it's so important for Jack and Sam specifically to uh... to..."Daniel trailed off, uncomfortable. Geez, it was almost as bad as thinking about your parents having sex.
"We do not believe it is only O'Neill's possession of the Ancient gene that makes him important to us. It is a combination of many things. For example, he has survived carrying the knowledge of the Ancients in his brain. Major Carter is the only known human to survive, both physically and mentally, from having a Tok'ra symbiote die inside of her. She was also possessed by another alien entity several years ago, I believe. More important than any latent knowledge she may have retained from being a host, she has shown intelligence on a scale which you do not even measure by your Earth standards. We believe she and O'Neill both think in ways that are beyond the way normal humans think, and this also is an important step between our ancestors and yours. We cannot think as you do now, but at some point, we did. Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill are both important steps in that direction."
Sam looked embarrassed. Jack just looked proud. It wasn't very often someone complimented his thinking abilities.
"I realize you think differently than we do," Daniel started in his smooth-diplomat voice. "But I think that's the biggest problem here. You are clones. You transfer your consciousness from one body to another and have for thousands of years. So I don't think you understand the emotional repercussions of what you are asking them to do. You can't just tell people to create a child. Even people who have been married for yearsoften aren't ready for that."
"We thought that Major Carter and O'Neill would create children on their own without interference but they have not, so..."
"Woa!" Jack interrupted. Sam didn't say anything, she just wanted to disappear into the floor. This was the most uncomfortable conversation ever in the history of the world, she was sure.
"It is our assessment," Thor continued, "That the reason that Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill have not procreated is because your government believes it unwise..."
"And illegal," Hammond put in.
"And has made rules that forbid such relationships. However, as I have been trying to explain to General Hammond, we feel that these rules should be nullified for this unique circumstance. We are willing to negotiate most generously with your government if you will agree to these terms."
"Negotiate!" Daniel and Jack both said at the same time.
Hammond rubbed his temples and said, "They're offering a whole lot of technology. Upgrades on Prometheus, medical advancements, communications technology... the works..."
"Sir, you can't do this," Jack said desperately.
"Jack," Daniel said gently. "Would it really be that bad?"
Everyone turned to stare at him as if he had just grown another head. "I mean... come on, Jack. You can't honestly tell me you like the frat regs?"
"Daniel," Jack said in a warning tone.
"We all know how you... okay. I won't go into that. I'm just saying. You and Sam both want to help people. It's what you do. You've helped Thor a lot in the past. This would be a way to help the Asgard, get a whole bunch of new technology for Earth to help defend against the Goa'uld, and you and Sam could finally..."
"Shut up, Daniel!" Jack snapped angrily. "This is so stupid! This whole thing! It is ridiculous that we're having a meeting about whether or not Carter and I should be allowed to have children! This isn't the way this is supposed to happen!"
On that note, he got to his feet angrily and left without waiting to be dismissed, slamming the door behind him loudly on his way out. The noise made most everyone in the room wince, but Sam was only one to actually jump in her seat as she flinched. The plexiglass star chart wobbled strangely, and Hammond wondered idly how many more O'Neill-door-slams it would be able to endure.
Teal'c and Daniel were told to go keep an eye on Colonel O'Neill. As they left the General's office, Daniel asked, "What do you think about all of this, Teal'c?"
"Do you recall the occasion when O'Neill made us watch lengthy footage of the 'Three Stooges,' Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked.
"Yeah... er... what? Where are you going with this, Teal'c?"
"I believe this would be the appropriate place for us to 'clunk their heads together.'"
"General Hammond and Thor?" Daniel asked incredulously, glancing back at the still-open office door nervously.
"No," Teal'c said evenly in that 'this is the end of this conversation' tone he usually reserved for O'Neill.
Daniel watched his friend walking down the hall and finally figured it out. "OH!"
General Hammond requested Major Carter remain in his office, with Thor. She agreed numbly. By this point, her day had been so completely bizarre that she wasn't even sure this was really happening. Half-convinced this was just a freaky dream of some kind, she was content to sit quietly and try to reign in some of her crazier thoughts.
While General Hammond placed the strangest call he'd ever had to make to the President (including the one where he informed him about the black hole incident), Thor spoke quietly to Sam.
"Major Carter, it was not my wish to make you uncomfortable. I fear Daniel Jackson is right. We cannot think like you. We have underestimated many things, it would appear."
"Thank you, Thor. I know you're only trying to help the Asgard... and help us in some weird way, it's just... I guess it's one of those things about each other neither of us can understand," she said, suddenly weary. She really needed coffee.
"Like our taste in nourishment, perhaps," Thor said seriously.
Sam couldn't help it. She burst into laughter as she remembered tasting that fine Asgard cuisine when she'd been off alone with Thor several years ago. 'The yellow one' that was Thor's favorite that to her had just tasted like the bottom of a shoe. Thor looked at her curiously.
"You made a joke, Thor. A good one. To ease the tension... Colonel O'Neill would be proud," she said quietly.
"Maybe then we are really not as different as we seem," Thor said quietly. "Major Carter, do you think I have made O'Neill upset... with me? The Asgard do not fully understand the concept of 'friendship.' As much as the council would not like to hear it, I have grown fond of him in a... non-professional sense," Thor admitted reluctantly.
Yeah, join the club, pal, Sam thought ruefully. That's what got them into this mess in the first place, isn't it?
"You're right, Thor. We're not so different. And I don't think he's mad at you. Just the situation in general is... awkward. To say the least. But I don't think he's upset with you."
"That is good to hear, Major Carter."
"The President is on his way to speak with you, Thor. It will take him several hours to get here. I have to say though that at the moment, he is in much the same mind as Colonel O'Neill. You have to understand, Thor, there are some lines that we just can't cross, and interfering with the lives of our officers on such a personal level is a very big deal, no matter what you're offering as compensation," Hammond said carefully.
"General Hammond, perhaps I am misunderstanding your laws, but do you not already interfere with the lives of your officers on a personal level by having these rules in the first place?" Thor asked.
General Hammond had no reply to that. Never having heard the man rendered speechless before, Sam looked up at him in surprise and was shocked by the sad look in his eyes. He covered it up quickly and said, "Well, that's a good point, Thor. You'll have to tell that to the President. Major Carter, this is going to be out of my hands soon, I'm afraid. But please understand that nobody is going to order you to do anything. At the very most, you will be given full permission to make up your own minds in this matter."
"Yes, sir."
"Why don't you take some time to yourself now, Major? I'll inform you when there is any new information."
"Thank you, sir," she said, immensely glad she hadn't been ordered to go home. She needed to work, now. Needed the distraction... as many distractions as possible to try and stop the onslaught of thoughts currently rolling around in her brain.
"Bye, Thor," she said as she got up to leave.
"Goodbye, Major Carter."
General Hammond was left alone in his office with Thor. What in the heck was he supposed to talk about with a little gray alien until the President arrived?
"So, Thor... what kind of music do you like?"