"Jack, how did you get the assignment at Cheyenne Mountain?" Rachel Martinez asked, as Jack and his friends walked out of the building.
"Well, I… uh…." Jack began.
"Never mind that," Amy Cranston butt in. "Just how close are you to Colonel Carter?" she asked, jealously.
"Colonel Carter?" he asked before sending a pleading look toward Brad. His friend took pity on him and came to the rescue, or at least tried to.
"Come on, you both know that Cheyenne Mountain has more high security stuff going on there than the White House. We're lucky we even know the facility exists. And Amy, you are all Jack talks about. Really, nonstop, even in his sleep. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Colonel Carter, believe me. Besides, she's his CO."
"Even in his sleep?" she asked with a smile and Jack couldn't help but roll his eyes as he gave his friend a relieved smile.
"Yeah, he keeps me and our other roommates awake all night long as he talks about you," Brad said, heaving a dramatic sigh. "All night long…"
"All right already Brad," Jack rushed in to say. "Don't overdo it. Jeez, you are definitely going to have to work on your act."
Rachel giggled as she slipped her arm through Brad's. The two of them had been developing a close relationship from the moment they had met and Jack was glad for them, although he sometimes felt a twinge of jealousy. She was a beauty and Jack had secretly coveted her from the moment he'd first laid eyes on her. They had even spent some quality time together. That was before she met Brad. Jack knew he was out of luck the moment his two friends looked at each other when he'd introduced them. It had been awkward when they'd confronted Jack, but he'd eased their minds by verbally stepping back, telling them he was happy for them. They didn't have to know that he had to keep himself from beating Brad into a bloody pulp the few times when jealousy had him gritting his teeth in anger.
Jack turned to smile at Amy. Unlike Rachel who was majoring in Astronomy, Jack didn't have too much in common with Amy. She was a spitfire, though, a trait that Jack admired and he knew without a doubt that she was going to make a fine officer. The fact that she was warm and willing worked great for him, as well.
Amy smiled back at him before grabbing his hand and dragging him toward their destination. "Come on," she said. "We'd better not be late. Besides, we need to get there before Grady spreads more of his bull for the others to wade through. That guy can be such a jerk," she said, then grinned at Rachel, "Although he is kind of cute."
This time it was Brad's turn to roll his eyes. "If you say so, darlin'," he countered. "Personally, I can't see it. I mean, puhlease, what about that long nose and…?"
"Shifty, beady eyes," Jack added as they continued to walk toward the parade grounds.
"…his bushy eyebrows," Brad continued as if Jack hadn't interrupted him. "Not to mention his…"
"Weak chin," Jack said.
"And hairy nostrils," Brad felt compelled to say.
"Enough!" Rachel said laughing. "He'll be a troll by the time you two get through with him."
"Well, if the shoe fits," said Jack. His mood had definitely improved thanks to his friends, including Sam Carter. Now if he could only get through the training exercises without having Grady finding some fault with him, he would be a lot better off.
The good mood Jack was experiencing had completely evaporated the next day. He found himself sitting next to his friends in a lecture hall listening to an instructor lecture about the evils of the enemy, whoever it might be, and the fact that the students may find themselves in a prison, subjected to the whims of said enemy.
This topic was something Jack knew of from first hand experience, having spent four months in an Iraqi prison as well as suffering at the hands of several Goa'ulds. He didn't need to hear it from this guy and he most definitely did not need to be dealing with the memories this lecture was bringing up.
He stared at the instructor, desperately trying to block out his words, as well as the memories they conjured up. He was concentrating so hard on burying the memories that he flinched when Rachel touched his arm. He smiled at her when he saw her concern, hoping to convey that he was going to be all right. He knew better though, and he sighed inwardly even as he squeezed her hand to let her know he appreciated her concern.
"There is no way anyone can prepare you for what you may encounter in such a situation," the instructor was saying as he continued his lecture. "Horror stories and pictures will give you an idea, but they still won't prepare you for the pain and humiliation brought on by some of the more sadistic wardens. We're going to attempt it, however," the professor continued as he went over to a slide projector. "Would someone dim the lights please?" he asked politely.
Jack spent the next 15 minutes staring at his hands, avoiding the images that were being projected on the screen at the front of the room. Occasional glances at the slide show told him all he needed to know. His own memories were much more effective in scaring the crap out of him. He didn't need the pictures.
It got worse though, as the slide show ended and the instructor told them all of his efforts in obtaining speakers for the class. "It's extremely difficult to find anyone who would be willing to talk about their experiences as prisoners of war," he said. "Almost all of them understandably want to bury away those memories, preferring to not have to relive the trauma. I've personally asked several local men who had been incarcerated in a POW camp during their career to come speak at these lectures, only to be turned down, usually vehemently. One General, in particular, heard me out, then got up and left me sitting there without ever having said a word."
O'Neill, Jack thought smugly, as some of the students laughed. That sounded like something he would do. Hell, Jack was having a hard time keeping himself from doing the very same thing. But he knew it would be the wrong thing to do – on so many levels.
"I was successful, however, in getting someone to come and talk to you all about his experiences as a POW during the Vietnam War. He spent 14 months in a prison in Vietnam and his story is not a pretty one. He is one of the few who have used his experiences to help others though. He now counsels victims of child abuse and rape, helping them to come to terms with their anguish and the traumatic memories of their experiences."
Jack struggled with staying in his seat as the urge to run overtook him. He wanted out, needed to get away, but knew he was well and truly stuck. The feeling of being trapped was overwhelming and he closed his eyes in an effort to gain back control of his emotions. He was going to have to listen to this guy relate his experiences and Jack was terrified that the memories those words may bring up would escape from the prison he had put them in. He had locked them up in his mind, dealing with them only during his nightmares when they snuck out to torment him.
"Jack, are you going to be okay?" Amy asked, as she grabbed his hand. He saw the fear in her eyes and he realized that he had been clenching his fists. He tried to smile at her, to ease her mind, but he didn't think he was doing a great job of it. She watched him with concern for a few seconds longer before turning back toward the instructor, never letting go of his hand.
He was able to get through the rest of the lecture by concentrating on trying to remember every single chemistry element. When he had exhausted that topic, he began going over the constellations they were currently studying in his Astronomy class. He was just about to start naming all the planets he had visited in chronological order when he was nudged on both sides from Rachel and Amy. It was time to go and he had successfully avoided dealing with his worst fears.
He couldn't get out of there fast enough, practically dragging Amy along with him as he hurried to get out of the room. "Cadet!" he heard someone call out just before he got to the exit and he stopped and turned, along with everyone else. He felt his heart sink in his chest when he realized that the guest speaker was looking straight at him. Just peachy, he snarled inwardly.
He waited where he had stopped, his heart racing with fear. This was so not good. The speaker came up to him and nodded at his companions before saying, "I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment."
"I'm going to be late for my next class," Jack said, hoping his excuse would be accepted. He did not want to talk with this guy.
"It will only take a moment," the speaker said. "Please."
Jack finally gave in and nodded, hoping that the guy just wanted to know where the best Chinese restaurant was. He knew better though and he stood there warily, waiting for the bomb to drop.
"You know," the guy began, "I have spent the last forty years working with people who have suffered at the hands of others and I can tell by the look in your eyes that you are one of those people. I've seen the same look in the faces of my fellow prisoners, as well as the people I work with on a daily basis and I just wanted to let you know that I am available if you ever need someone to talk to. Just give me a call," he said, handing Jack a card.
This was all Amy's fault, Jack raged inwardly. She was the one who insisted on sitting up front. Damn, he had spent the last fifteen years fighting off the memories of his imprisonment and this guy felt it was his obligation to bring all those memories back.
"Thank you sir, but I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about," Jack said, his emotionless mask firmly in place. "I appreciate the concern though."
"Abusive parent?" the man asked, not giving in nor believing him for a minute. "Believe me son, you are better off talking about the trauma. Keeping it in only allows it to fester and sometimes the memories can manifest into delusions. I can help you Cadet."
Great, Jack thought. This guy wasn't going to give up. He looked over toward the door, wondering if he could make it without too much trouble. Brad was leaning up against the door waiting for him and Jack resolved not to keep him waiting much longer. "I'll keep it in mind," he said waving the card at the man. He stopped waving it to look at it, then told him, "Thanks again Craig."
"You're welcome Cadet," Craig said, watching Jack with concern. Jack nodded and the man turned to walk back up to the lectern where the instructor waited. Jack just knew he was going to be the main subject of their conversation. He sighed as he looked back at the card again before turning to join his friends.
All three of them were about to burst with curiosity, but Jack didn't know what to tell them. He couldn't tell them anything about his past, unless, of course, he made something up. It was bad enough that he was lying to them as it was, he didn't want to add to his deception any more than he had to.
Craig had been way too receptive to his fears and this bothered Jack. He had always thought he held his emotions in check, never letting anyone see his insecurities and the fears he dealt with whenever his memories showed up. He supposed the last few years working with the Stargate program hadn't helped him in healing at all. He had suffered greatly at the hands of several System Lords - Hathor and Ba'al immediately coming to mind. How was he supposed to get rid of all the horrible memories when he kept adding more of them to his already impressive list?
He continued to dwell on these thoughts as he, Brad and Rachel headed off toward their next class. Amy's next class was in a separate building and she had hugged him tightly when they parted company. He knew she was trying to make things better for him and he was glad for it.
They were almost to the building where their classes were being held when Grady showed up. Jack immediately went into defense mode, waiting for the attack he knew was coming. Grady didn't disappoint him. He started in on Jack, reprimanding him for some trumped up grievance, which Jack paid no attention to. Instead he stood his ground, glaring at the Cadet, waiting for his chance to kill the jerk. He didn't need this on top of his already overworked emotions.
Brad, being the good friend he was, recognized the danger within Jack and stepped in between the two Cadets, while Rachel grabbed Jack's arm to hold him back. Grady, who didn't realize he was in trouble, tried to push past Brad to get to Jack. It wasn't a good situation all the way around, but Jack was past caring. He reached past Brad and grabbed Grady's jacket just as a blinding light surrounded them all.