Hey guys, I'm back writing, after a looong hiatus…well, more of me being really lazy. Eheheh…I have to make new chapters for FoD and Madness too…especially Madness, since I'm definitely not abandoning it after so long…although for some goddamn reason, chapters 1 of Madness and like chapter 4 of FoD just disappeared, they're not there, it's going to be a pain in the ass to upload them again…
Oh nevermind…they're back I suppose…crazy internet…And now I have a new fanfiction up…Check it out… Super Evangelion Friends Forever Ultimate X…weirdest fic ever…you'll see…
Well, let's start the show:
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL!
The Ruins of Tokyo 3, Japan
Misato Katsuragi's Apartment
Shinji Ikari yawned and shivered, stretching out like a cat, his hand touching something warm and soft.
The former Third Child's eyes widened in disbelief as he beheld his hand laying upon a creamy white thigh. Slowly, he lifted up his hand and turned his head to the right.
There, sleeping quietly was Asuka Langley Sohryu, the subject of his love, his hate, the cause of his madness. But for now she looked like any ordinary girl.
If any ordinary girl is unbelievably beautiful.
Shinji lifted himself out of the bed and slowly walked around the girl, to the kitchen to make breakfast, as long as Asuka did not wake with him beside her, he would be a little safer.
He sighed as he remembered the night before. He could still remember her soft lips, if only barely, he had been quiet tired and delirious the night before, and for a few minutes he doubted if it was real or just a dream. He still couldn't understand this reality.
"Then... where is my dream?"
"That is the extension of reality."
"My... where is my reality?"
"That is at the end of the dream."
Shinji shook his head.
"What is this Rei…what is this!"
He heard a familiar snort behind him and a soft but grating voice.
"Talking to yourself Third Child? You must have really lost it now…"
Shinji stiffened, he did not mind most things, but that label, that rank, those memories, he could not bear it.
He spoke softly with a hint of pure aggression, turning to face Asuka.
"Asuka…breakfast is ready…"
They had found a nice amount of bread and a few jars of honey a few days ago, and that had proved sufficient for all their major meal needs.
Asuka wrinkled her nose and shook her head.
"Can't you find something else to eat other than this damned honey and damned bread everyday, baka Third Child?"
Shinji stiffened and peered at Asuka with a strange look on his face.
"Don't…call…me that…"
Asuka's eyes brightened in recognition of what he was referring to and she scoffed.
"What? Third Child? You are the Third Child, a no good little child…"
Shinji stiffened and slammed his hand on the table, turning to put on his jacket, and speaking in a cold voice.
"I'm leaving to get supplies…Second Child."
Asuka shook her head as the boy left the apartment, gazing at the food that he had neglected to partake of.
The Ruins of Tokyo 3, Japan
Shinji sifted amongst the rubble, not really searching for anything in particular. He needed air, he needed to get these living nightmares out of his mind. His mind's eye ached. And Asuka was not helping. He hadn't had sleep for ages, it seemed, he wasn't sure that his eyes were reliable anymore, he couldn't trust his mind, it talked way too much.
He stumbled among the dislodged stones and metal, occasionally coming upon the shell of a person, as in their bodiless clothes, often accompanied by a pool of yellow fluid.
These haunted him, he felt he had caused their fate, but inside him, a shell of apathy was slowly growing. If he could hate them more than he hated himself…then…
Then…everything will be fine, Shinji.
The Third Child sat upon a large piece of concrete, the wind swaying through a clothesline, making an eerie sound in the emptiness.
He clenched his fists, and staring down at the ground as if the secrets to nirvana itself were there.
He could feel something snapping within him, but he could not understand why, why there was anything wrong with him. Or was there anything wrong with him? He barely even knew himself.
Someone…someone help me…Rei…Misato…Help…
"…Help".
A weak voice spoke those words, sending Shinji stumbling forward with a yelp.
It was eerie to think that there were others alive, he remembered what they had said…he remembered, but still, he couldn't believe it.
Curled like a baby in front of the crumbled department store was a lean, lanky man, nursing a bleeding wound to his gut, and staring at Shinji with pleading eyes.
Shinji steadied his nerves, and peered at the man with a manic hilarity.
"Welcome to hell."
The man moaned, and reached out towards Shinji.
"Kill…me…"
The Ruins of Tokyo 3, Japan
Misato Katsuragi's Apartment
Asuka had been lounging about the house for hours, unsure of what to do. She had no idea what was keeping Shinj, she had no idea what to do. She feared the loneliness, as all must.
Suddenly Shinji burst through the door, a man latched weakly onto his shoulder, who was apparently too weak to walk in by himself and had a large bandage across his lean stomach.
Shinji peered at Asuka and smiled, which seemed to stun Asuka for a few minutes.
"There…are others?"
Shinji smirked.
"Why…yes? Why wouldn't there be? This man is Kariudo, Kariudo Kiriyama, I found him injured, and I decided to bring him here. The damned have to…work together after all."
Asuka frowned and turned back to the kitchen, anger evident on her face.
Shinji settled the unconscious man onto the couch, after a good amount of labor, and then turned to the Second Child.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Leave me alone…baka…"
"No, tell me, what's wrong with you, dammit?"
Shinji's voice took on a tinge of rage that almost made Asuka flinch. Almost.
She felt weakened by a combination of lack of sleep and good nutrition, they hadn't eaten any fruit or vegetables since they'd…come.
The Second Child fell to her knees, and Shinji quickly dashed forward, grasping her and supporting her, their warm bodies touching and sharing in warmth, if only for a few seconds.
Kariudo lay against the couch, blinking, and gazing at Shinji.
Shinji meanwhile cradled Asuka, his eyes wild, energy gained from his soul, his soul…his feelings for this girl.
"It'll…be okay…"
"Right…baka…I can't have him here.."
"Who?"
"The newcomer…"
"Why? What are you talking about?"
"If he stays…I'll be gone…"
"Huh? You're not sounding right here, Asuka…"
But then neither am I…it's getting to us…they're getting to me…
Shinji slowly led Asuka to her room, and lay her against the bed. His lips hovered over her cheek as her eyes closed and she descended into sleep's embrace. But he chuckled to himself and hesitated, instead standing up and walking back out to Kariudo.
He just now noticed the various features on the other survivor. Kariudo Kiriyama was a long, lanky man, with a trimmed mustache and tanned, weathered skin.
He gazed up weakly to Shinji, staring at him quizzically.
"Who…were you talking to…Shinji?"
Shinji broke from his train of thought and turned to Kariudo, confusion on his face.
"If he stays…I'll be gone…"
"Uh…no one…no one at all…"
Kariudo peered at Shinji, and Shinji thought he saw an odd glint in the man's eyes.
Fear? No, confusion?
Kariudo nodded, and all of a sudden Shinji felt a ripping noise in his head, as if someone was in his mind, and shook it away, squinting and feeling dizzy.
"Alright, Kiriyama…I'm going to bed…You'll be fine in the couch, right?"
Kariudo nodded silently, and turned, closing his eyes.
The Ruins of Tokyo 3, Japan
Misato Katsuragi's Apartment
Shinji's Room
Shinji lay against his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was familiar…but alien, in one single gaze. He didn't want to remember, he couldn't remember. All those lost memories…
Kaji…Rei…Asuka…Misato…his father…father…mother…mother…Asuka? Wait…Asuka was here…but he still felt like he missed her…Asuka...Misato…Kaji…those voices.
"Now Shinji, to the heart of the story! I haven't told you're the reason why I'm spying on NERV."
Shinji stared at Kaji in the small cramped bunker and then turned his face away.
"Well, I don't really care you know."
"Now, don't say that….otherwise, what are we going to talk about?"
Kaji grinned sheepishly and then began.
"The…Second Impact was the beginning to everything. The aftermath was pure hell. Try to imagine it…Cities under tidal waves…disease…starvation, and of course, war. For a year, every horseman rode, until three billion people were gone. My mom and dad were two of them. My brother and I lived. He was four years younger".
Shinji's eyes hardened as Kaji mentioned his parent's fate, his eyes falling on Kaji in attention as the man calmly continued his story.
"Orphaned kids like us were everywhere back then. The government rounded up as many of the children as they could. But what were they supposed to do with us? We were dumped into mass shelters. That didn't solve a thing. There were hundreds of thousands of us. The facilities were soon bursting at the seams. There wasn't enough food or clothes. We kicked and punched each other over who got to sleep in the beds, or who just got the floor. There weren't enough adults to watch over us so they tried to make up for it with harsh rules and…"
Shinji's looked down as he began to remember his own childhood, he felt uncomfortable and…
"So, when does the spy thing start?"
Kaji groaned.
"Fine, a long intro, so sue me…There was only so much we could take. So we escaped...me, my brother, and five others. We did what we had to do."
"Huh?"
"You know. So we had to scrounge for food…steal, loot…anything to get by."
Shinji looked away again, raising his eyebrow.
"First a thief, then a spy."
Kaji groaned again and talking loudly.
"We didn't have a choice, all right!"
"Yeah..."
"But everywhere we scavenged was being picked over by other refugees, too…then, one day…we scouted out a military warehouse, kind of like the bunker we're in right now. There wasn't much in the way of high-tech security right after the disaster, so even kids like us managed to sneak in. So that's what we'd do, whenever we'd get hungry. Taking a little at a time, and going one by one to avoid attention."
Kaji paused, looking down, his suave face becoming hollow cheeked and grim.
"And…then, one day, it was my turn. The patrol soldiers saw me, I tried to run, they grabbed me and hit me, I was just a child. They'd known all along what we'd been doing. He asked me where my friends were, where he could find them, I denied everything but they beat me and threatened me. I still remember what the sergeant among the soldiers said…'Let me appeal to your intellect, okay? Regulations state….that deadly force is authorized…towards trespassers on military facilities…that means that no one gives a damn if we kill you right here and now.' He held his handgun to my head, pulling my body up and kept on speaking in that…low…damned voice. 'Tell us where the others are and we spare you. For your information, the manual states the trigger pull on this is about two and-a-half kilos. One. Two.'"
Shinji's eyes widened in horror as Kaji pulled out a handgun as he counted to three, pointing it at his head and then throwing it against the wall at 'three'.
Kaji grinned grimly and spoke again.
"You know what, Shinji? I found out I was afraid of dying. There's never been a moment when I was more afraid, not in all my life."
Shinji stared at Kaji, stricken with terror.
"Did…Did you tell them?"
Kaji looked down, the shadows absorbing his handsome face, his eyes drooping as if to answer in affirmative.
"What…What happened?"
"They left after they found out…they were going to kill me anyway, but I managed to get past the guard and sprinted towards where my friends were, to warn them…When…When I got back to our building...I saw soldiers burning rubber, looking like they were making a getaway. All of them…All of them…"
Kaji looked Shinji in the face as Shinji's eyes widened even more.
"I lived to tell this story…by taking the lives of my friends…and my brother. So yeah, it was simple. I had traded them for me. It's not that I didn't feel guilty. I thought about killing myself…"
Kaji's hands shook imperceptivity as he continued.
"But…I started to think about it this way…What in the hell were we all doing in that situation, anyway? It was because of the Second Impact. It was…something to go on, something to go on for. It was around that time that the U.N. published the official explanation for that event. A meteor had hit Antarctica they said. I didn't buy it. If there were people behind this, then they should be punished, or they would only make more victims…I thought I could atone for my brother…by uncovering the truth of what happened."
Kaji pulled out a cigarette and calmly lighted it.
"I was lucky, I eventually found relatives who took me back in. Got back in school, and they sent me to college. Learned a lot there…"
"To become a spy?"
"Hah…You could say that…It was then that I met Katsuragi…We fell in love right away. We were so happy. But…we were consumed by our happiness. That suddenly, one day, some fear stuck me down. I wondered…if I deserved this, when I killed my own brother."
"What!" Is that why you broke up?"
"I just couldn't spend my time being in love anymore…"
"I feel sorry for Misato…I think…she still loves you. She…She said that there are something you can't help, even if you're in love."
Kaji took a puff of his cigarette and looked intently at the floor.
"It's the same…with her, Shinji."
"What do you mean?"
"She's the sole survivor of the Katsuragi Expedition that was there when Second Impact happened. There was never any meteor. She's the only living soul who actually saw it up close. Her father was heading the investigation of the object called "Adam" that they had discovered…buried in Antarctica. And then, it happened. They were both wounded, with only one escape vessel. He put her in. She survived…he died."
Shinji's eyes widened once more as he heard Misato's past.
"It runs down her body you know…The scar, it runs deep inside. I know it's why she joined NERV, just like it's why I'm spying on it. Neither of us…deserve to be happy. And...Shinji…Neither do you."
Kaji stared Shinji intently in the eyes, Kaji's eyes now gaining a harder less casual look to them.
"What do you mean...I'm not the same as you…Are…you…You're talking about Toji! That wasn't my fault. Dad did it!"
Shinji roared with all his weak voice.
"Toji died because of dad!"
Kaji slowly held the cigarette in his fingers, the smoke billowing around.
"And you, Shinji. You just watched…You could've stopped it if you tried. If you had fought before they switched over to the dummy system you might have been able to defeat the angel, and save Suzuhara's life. But…you didn't. Suzuhara died…and you survived. Just like how I survived by trading my brother's life. And how Katsuragi survived by trading her father. You have it now. You have Suzuhara's life. You've still got flesh and blood, because you took his."
Shinji stared at Kaji, tears welling up in his eyes as his right fist clenched and unclenched
"So how are you going to live that life…as if nothing happened?"
"What…am I supposed to do!"
Kaji lifted his hand and pointed towards the exit of the bunker
"You can get to the Geofront on the Linear-Rail Route 18, through the door on the end. It's your choice whether you get on it or not. But it's like I've told you before…You musn't look away from the truth."
The tears slowly trickled down Shinji's face as Kaji looked even more dark and serious.
"They say…that there will be a Third Impact…if an angel makes contact with Adam, which is sleeping underneath NERV. This time, everyone could die. The only one that can stop it…the only thing, is the Evangelion. It has power…as an angel."
He could see its monstrous face in his mind…The Evangelion…mankind's folly…had someone told him that…
Shinji stiffened as he heard a tap, and his door slowly creaked open, releasing him.
It was Asuka, a human mess, it only made her look more beautiful to Shinji, and he looked on nervously. The area underneath her eyes were damp, and her hair was a mess. She stumbled towards the Third Child, her mouth opening and closing, saying something he could not hear or comprehend.
She closed in on him, their bodies inches apart, and started to kiss up and down his neck, making odd moaning noises and whispering obscene things to him, propositions of love and lust. Love was just a hollow avatar of lust dressed up in "Compassion" and "Loyalty", Shinji knew that was true.
He slowly began returning Asuka's tender kisses, completely unable to resist. He was to insane to resist, too sane not to resist? Who could resist? He could not, it was amusing to him, it was painfully beautiful to him, it felt angelic as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, and then his pants, and then pulled down his dirty underwear. She slowly took off the little clothes she had, and they both stood there, dirty, unclean, wretches, but most of all, human.
They approached each other, and connected, both mentally and physically, their heart beats increasing, their minds pulsing with pleasure with each moan and rhythmic motion, it was doing nothing to settle their minds, it just filled them with passion to cloud their pain.
She rode atop him, groaning and moaning, whispering things so obscene, so decadent, such as love.
"Shinji…I…love you."
Shinji groaned, both in disbelief and because of the activity.
What does love have to do with it?
Then they were both overcome with hormones, they both came to a complete stop, and Asuka fell down atop Shinji's naked body, panting and breathing heavily in embrace. She smelled of sin, although Shinji could not explain why.
She smiled at him, and spoke in a soft whisper…it sounded almost like.
"Rei!"
Asuka smiled subtly, speaking in Rei's voice.
"Your reality…is as you perceive it."
Shinji's eyes bulged open, his tired brain not capable of registering all that was going on. Darkness slowly began to overcome him, but he drove it away, and swatted his hand towards the succubus of a woman that was atop him. His hand went through Asuka's body, as if it were a mere specter, and then it floated away like mist, finally dissipating.
Shinji lay against the bed, clenching his fists, and sobbing, although there were no tears. He knew it was true, Asuka was still in her room sleeping, he could hear her snoring through the thin wall that separated their room. So…what…was this damned reality?
A voice echoed in his head, familiar and soothing.
"As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist, everything will be all right."
Shinji chuckled loudly, then broke into boisterous laughing, unsettling the entire wretched household and the only other people still surviving on the planet, as tears finally began to run down his face.
"Hah…what a lie that was…"
Yeah…did this chapter seem sort of rushed or adlibbed? Or odd? Hrmmm, it's not my best, that's for sure, and if you think this is getting too weird, well…Just wait for the next chapter…
Death, insomnia, hallucination, oh my!