Notes: Sorry for the delay before this update, but the good news is that the next chapter is nearly finished already - this is another one that began as one and ended up as two. Reviews are cherished as always, particularly as I try to deal with overly cliched devices in moderately amusing ways;).
Ch 18: Plans
Sam sat down on the edge of the coffee table and took in the sight before her. Jack was stretched out over the length of the huge couch. He just fit perfectly, and she wondered if he had tried it out in the store to make sure he could stretch out completely before he bought it. It seemed like something he would do.
Making a mental note to ask him when he woke up, she carefully slid the half-empty beer out of his relaxed hand and muted the television. On-screen, Homer was stretched out on his own couch, asleep, drooling and snoring, with a beer of his own, wearing only his underpants. Jack looked considerably better taking a nap than Homer did.
Sam still couldn't believe all the effort Jack had gone through the night before. She had truly been surprised when he asked her to marry him, and even more surprised at how nervous it had made him. She didn't understand how he could possibly think she might have said no. They had, after all, pretty much already planned to have kids, but she still hadn't really been expecting him to propose, especially so soon. She would have been perfectly happy to have kids with him without getting married, understanding that he might not have a very optimistic opinion of marriage after what had happened to his first one.
She thought back, quickly, over how they had come to this point. It would have been a lot easier if both of them weren't so stubborn, she had to admit. But then, that was who they were, and they were both more than okay with that. Still, she couldn't help but think about how adamant Jack had been that everything be done 'right.'
For the first time, it really occurred to her that he was quite a bit older than she was. She knew how old they both were, of course, but it was just something that didn't matter to her. If anything, it was just that much sexier. He kind of had the whole Harrison Ford, Sean Connery thing going on, except he was actually real, sleeping right there in front of her on the couch, wiggling his toes in his sleep.
But she was reminded of their age difference because it had suddenly occurred to her that maybe Jack was concerned about getting married before she got pregnant. Not that he was old-fashioned or anything, but it was possible that whether he realized it or not, he would feel better about everything if that were the case.
Whether she was right or not, she also knew him well-enough to know that he would never mention any of this to her, even if she flat-out asked. When she woke up that morning, she was the happiest she had ever been, and she knew Jack was happy, but he was also right: the situation that had brought them together, finally, had been out of their control, and definitely strange. She wanted to make things as perfect for him as she possibly could, because whether he believed it or not, he deserved it.
"Whatcha lookin' at?"
She jumped slightly and realized he was watching her stare at him. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"
"No. How long was I asleep?"
She glanced at the clock. "Just an hour."
"Sorry. Didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night," he said with a smirk.
"I wasn't complaining," she shot back.
"I remember."
"Jack, when do you want to get married?" she asked casually, looking down at her hands.
"Whenever you do." He reached out for her hand and tugged her onto the couch next to him. "Something tells me you weren't one of those kids who put a pillowcase on her head and had a pretend wedding with the little boy across the street, but I just want to marry you, Sam. So whatever else goes along with that is up to you."
"I did put a pillowcase on my head a few times actually," Sam admitted.
"Really?" Jack asked, grinning slowly in surprise.
"Yeah, but it wasn't a veil. It was a parachute."
He chuckled and said, "That seems more appropriate. I didn't mean to sound like I don't care about the wedding though, I just meant..."
"I know. Thank you." She bit her lip and continued. "So... if we were actually free to leave, you wouldn't have any preference on when we got married?"
Confused as to why she was asking, he answered, "Uh, no. I don't think so. I'd marry you right this second if I could, or wait till you got permission to invite every alien we've ever met."
She laughed, picturing the SGC flooded with aliens trying to grasp the concept 'bride's side, or groom's side' and squeezed his hand.
"Hey, I'm gonna go take a quick shower, okay? I seem to remember someone complaining about my stubble this morning. Wanna keep me company?"
"Hmm, tempting offer, but I think I'll take a rain check," Sam said, watching him go.
She waited until she heard the shower come on and then hurried outside with the Asgard communicator. "Thor, if you're listening to this, I need to talk to you ASAP, some time when Colonel O'Neill isn't in the same room..."
Thor appeared in front of her and she jumped. "Wow, that was fast. This is a hologram, right?"
"That is correct, Major Carter. How may I be of assistance?"
"I have a favor to ask. It's kind of a... big favor."
"I believe I have asked you and O'Neill for a rather large favor myself, Major Carter. I will help you in any way that I can."
"Thanks... Do you think you could let us out of here, just for a day or two? We'd stay away from the SGC, we'd only go into town."
"I'm sorry, Major Carter, but that is one thing I cannot do. I am very sorry."
"Oh," she said, visibly deflating. "That's okay. I understand."
"May I ask why you wanted to leave for such a short time?"
"Er, well... we wanted... to get married."
"That is wonderful news. Congratulations."
"Thanks."
"You can get married here. I will arrange everything."
"But..."
"I will handle it, Major Carter. Do not worry. Is there anything specific that you require?"
"Well... I guess I need something white to wear... not a fancy wedding dress or anything, just... something... Thor, are you sure you can..."
"Do not worry. I will have it taken care of. I will return ASAP, as you would say."
"Thank you," she said gratefully. "And, don't mention any of this to the Colonel, okay?"
"You have my word," Thor promised, ending the transmission.
Sam went back into the cabin humming.
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"Dr. Fraiser, I have an important mission for you," Hammond said once the doctor had taken a seat in his office.
"Yes, sir?"
"I need you to go shopping."
"Sounds like my kind of mission!" Janet said happily. "Sir," she added quickly.
"I thought you might enjoy it. Now, as quickly as possible, I need you to get something for Major Carter to wear for a very casual, very private wedding."
"WHAT!" Janet squealed/yelled, practically bouncing in her seat.
Walter poked his head into the office and asked if everything was okay. Hammond dismissed him quickly and looked at Dr. Fraiser, slightly exasperated.
"Sorry, sir. So..."
"Colonel O'Neill asked Major Carter to marry him last night, and for some reason they want to do it as fast as possible, according to the conversation I just had with Thor. Now, for that to happen, I need you to go shopping immediately. Thor's getting Jack's dress blues and everything, so just get something appropriate for Major Carter to wear. Apparently O'Neill already had rings up at the cabin for her..."
"How?"
"I have no idea, we'll ask him later, doctor, please, we have to do this quickly."
"Sorry, sir. So I have to pick out a wedding ring for Colonel O'Neill? That's kind of... weird."
"My advice would be to get his old one. It should be in his locker, in a cigar box, on the top shelf. That way you'll know the proper size, and I would suggest getting one that is noticeably different from that one."
"Of course, sir. May I make a suggestion?"
"Go ahead."
"If you want this done as fast as humanly possible, sir, I'll need backup."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Well, luckily, I happen to live with the fastest shopper on the planet, sir. You wouldn't believe how quickly Cassie can do some serious damage at the mall."
Hammond considered for a minute and said, "Do it. Major Carter was adamant about using her own credit cards for her purchases. I assume you can get her wallet out of her locker?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good luck, Doctor. And I know this is exciting, but please, remember. Time is of the essence."
"Yes, sir."
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"Uh, Sam? You've been really jumpy the last few days, are you sure you're okay?" Jack asked cautiously.
"What? Yes, I'm fine. Never better. You?"
"Peachy."
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Janet practically ran through the halls of the SGC with a green dress bag slung over her shoulder and a shopping bag in her other hand. She rounded a corner and ploughed right into Daniel, who was walking briskly himself, his head down and buried in the memo he was reading.
The petite doctor was knocked to the ground, and Daniel was sent back into the wall before regaining his balance. "Janet, Jesus, are you okay?" Daniel demanded, hurrying to help her up and gather her things.
"I'm fine Daniel, it was my fault..."
"No, it was mine," he insisted, looking down at the bags in his hand in obvious confusion.
"Were you... shopping?" he asked.
"Er, no," Janet said quickly, trying to come up with something. "I wish," she stalled with a nervous laugh.
"Er... that's Cassie's dress. Big homecoming dance this weekend, you know, and... I picked it up from the tailor this morning and forgot that it was in my trunk... I didn't want it to get wrinkled so I thought I'd bring it in and hang it up in my office. For the day. So it doesn't get wrinkled."
He was looking at her like she was speaking one of the few languages he didn't understand. Finally, he said, "Um, okay. Well... see you around then. Sorry I knocked you down."
"Thanks, Daniel, see you later!" she said enthusiastically, hurrying off.
Daniel watched her go and muttered, "What the hell was that all about?"
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Janet hurried into Hammond's office. Thor was already in there.
"Shut the door," Hammond ordered.
She shut it loudly with her foot and pulled up the dress bag to show them the dress. "Cassie picked it out," she explained. "It's from some movie with Kate Hudson or something. Apparently it was yellow in the movie, but people made a big deal out of the dress, so they started making them in other colors."
"Major Carter does not like yellow," Thor chimed in.
Janet wanted to ask what he was talking about, but Hammond spoke. "It's great, Doctor, more importantly, will it fit?"
"It should, it's Sam's size and everything... unless she's gained or lost weight."
"She has not," Thor supplied.
Okay, Janet thought. It was a little creepy Thor knew that right off the top of his head.
"You got everything, right doctor? Dress, shoes, ring, uh... I don't know, what else... pantyhose?"
"Everything is in this bag, yes, sir," Janet promised him, smiling at his reluctance to say 'pantyhose.'
"Excellent. Take a seat, Doctor. You're about to be one of the witnesses to the first wedding ceremony on Earth performed by an alien."
Thor stepped next to the pile of bags and nodded at them both before beaming away.
"Sir, is this legal?" Fraiser asked as Hammond set a little Asgard display device on the desk between them.
It was off; Thor would activate it remotely when they were ready to begin.
"Yes, it is. Thor was ordained over the Internet a few minutes ago, but the marriage certificate will actually be signed by the President himself, to assure Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill, once we explain all this, that it was all completely authorized. Thor is going to get them to sign the license, but of course not put the date on, bring it back with him, and then you and I will sign as witnesses."
"Wow. This is so unbelievable!"
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Jack eyed the huge antique bathtub that took up most of the space in the bathroom warily.
"You never said anything about bubbles," he stated.
"Suit yourself," Sam said with a shrug. "Nobody's twisting your arm here."
Jack looked back and forth from Sam to the tub. True, he had been mocking her about her obsession with the bathtub for months, and she had finally agreed to share a bath, but she hadn't said anything about bubbles. Flowery-smelling bubbles on top of that.
"I warned you that you wouldn't like it," Sam reminded him mildly.
"Well… I didn't know about the bubbles."
"Whatever you do, please make up your mind before it cools off."
"All right, I'll get in. But you better not mention this to anybody. Ever. Especially Daniel. Or Teal'c."
"Of course."
"Or Janet," Jack remembered to add as he got into the tub.
"Of course, Jack," she repeated, smiling sweetly. "Besides, I highly doubt they'd believe me anyway," she added as she got in the tub across from him.
"Okay, now what?" Jack asked after they were settled. The tub was large, but it was still crowded.
"Now, you close your eyes and relax," Sam said, grabbing the rolled up towel from the edge of the tub, positioning it behind her neck, and closing her eyes.
He stared at her, hard, sure she was joking. "For how long?" he finally asked when he determined she wasn't going to move.
"For… fifteen minutes."
"Sam!" He moved to get out of the tub, disturbing the water and her legs, which were on top of his.
"Okay, okay. Ten."
"Five."
"Seven."
"Fine." He copied her movements on the opposite side of the tub, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly as he closed his eyes.
When he was finally still, Sam cracked one eye open and looked at him, trying not to laugh. Colonel O'Neill in a bubble bath… who would have thought? She hadn't been entirely flippant earlier - nobody would buy it.
"So this is your version of fishing then?" Jack asked after nearly two full minutes of silence.
"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I suppose it is."
"And you really just… sit here? And do nothing?" He knew he was being incredibly irritating - he was doing it on purpose. Annoying Sam was now more fun than it had ever been - now that she knew for certain he never really meant it and he didn't have to worry about really upsetting her.
"Well, no. Sometimes I read."
"You could have told me I was allowed to bring a book!"
"You didn't ask. This past minute doesn't count. Five more to go."
"Then will you come over here?"
"Maybe, perhaps if…"
They both froze and looked at each other in shock.
"Did you just hear…" Sam started.
"I thought I heard…" Jack continued.
The noise repeated itself. A strange, muffled voice from somewhere else in the cabin, calling, "Major Carter! Major Carter!"
Their eyes went to the closed bathroom door for several long moments. Then, turning back to one another, they both said, "Thor."
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Note: I have no idea whether or not the President of the United States can legally marry people or not, but I'm assuming he can.