Notes: First: I OWN ZIP! GOT IT? Second: All right, your Authoress has NOT snapped. She has NOT lost her ever-loving mind. I SWEAR. I so don't like Nakago. Period. But you have to kind of think him and Soi make a cute couple—in a… well… way. Anyway, any good Fushigi Yuugi Fanfiction writer needs to do a Soi/Nakago piece, it's good for 'em. This isn't like… Romantic or anything, And trust me, I LOVE HOTO-SAMA. BELIEVE ME I DO. I don't mean to down-play him here, and I'm sorry if I offend, but I really wanted to focus on the two of them here, and not on the Suzaku side. But I think my leanings came out a bit, because I do drag a lot of Hoto in ;;
Warnings: this is NOT… I repeat NOT correct to the manga or anime! Some things might HINT at the actual events, but I intended in NO way for them to mirror actual events (Except for Soi's death, which we all know happened….) I took great plot liberties, call it artistic license. I don't want people complaining about that—you HAVE been warned.
Summary: Nakago loses someone he realizes is the most precious thing in the world to him. What events follow? Will he pay for his sins? Will he avenge his wronged love? Will he ever see her again?
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
She saw the sword from across the field, she saw the intent in the Suzaku Seishi's eyes, and she knew there was only one thing she could do to stop the one she loved from dying in front of her. She had to sacrifice herself.
Soi darted forward, leaping high into the air in front of Nakago just in time to come between the sword and the Shogun's chest. The crack in her armor rattled his ears almost as loudly as her gasp and her cry did as she flew back against his saddle. He caught her, and held her, unbelieving what he had just witnessed. "Soi." Was all he managed to say.
"Naka—go," She choked out. The air around her was crackling with her energy—even as she was passing from one realm to another, her ki was strong and was a force to be reckoned with.
He knew he had loved her, but had not, until this moment, realized how much. Still, he could not bring the words to his mouth; sufficing to simply comfort her quaking body as shock and pain seeped into the farthest reaches of her limbs. He was angry. Groping at her flesh for a better hold he touched her face delicately, lovingly(as he never had shown her love before), he looked into her dying eyes, and promised her with his own life-force that he would avenge her death. Soon, her form slumped against him, and he closed her eyes and covered her face with his cape. Never letting her body touch the earth. He wanted her to have a Lady's burial, for she was his partner, if not his wife.
The pain in himself was unbearable and Nakago knew that it was because he had only experienced this kind of pain once before in his life. Before, this was a war between countries. But now, after Soi, it was a war between men. He pushed the painful memories out of his mind and forced himself to focus on his task at hand—his will power was strong enough to keep the emotions at bay until the job was finished.
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Hotohori knew that the final battle between himself and Nakago would result in the death of one of them. He had told his wife before he left the palace that he might not return form the battlefield and she knew that the possibility was a great one. Now, as he fought alongside two of his fellow Seishi, Tasuki and Chichiri, he kept replaying her words to him over and over again in his mind. Secretly, he knew that she expected the worst—that she had prepared for it. He had too. But all of his training had never taught him to be a coward; if he was to die, he was to die honorably.
Tasuki passed a glance between himself and Chichiri, noting the Emperor's reverent silence despite the battle surrounding them. Hotohori had barely acknowledged the arrival of the bandits, Tasuki's friends and confidants, to help fight. "He's waiting for the Shogun, no da." Chichiri said, once he was close enough to the flame haired Seishi, "He knows what happened yesterday determined their fates, na no da." Tasuki, who usually had a million snide remarks tucked up his sleeve only nodded, watching the Emperor battle one man after the next, his red aura glowing brighter and brighter around him.
Hotohori never took his eyes off the horizon.
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
'There he is. He wasted little time in finding me, once the dust around us cleared.' Hotohori thought sadly to himself meeting Nakago's cold glare across the battlefield. 'My time has come.' He thought, resolute, accepting his fate. With a sigh Hotohori took a moment to survey what was left of the fields outside his palace walls. As he looked around at his kingdom, his heart sank. 'So this is what is has come to. So much hurt, so much pain. And it's not finished yet.' He thought, with a solemn shake of his head. He began to wonder as Nakago slowly approached on his horse, Soi still draped across his lap, if he should speak.
There is little time for words in war. Nakago knew. And he was a man of few words himself. He thought much, but said only what needed to be heard. "Today, Emperor, is your last." Curt.
Hotohori nodded. Nakago was so loquacious when he wanted to be. The bit of wit, forced a smile on his face. "Perhaps it is, Shogun, if fate decides so. Truly you know what happened to her was an accident." He said, motioning with his head toward the woman resting in the General's lap.
Nakago's brow furrowed angrily, "You will not mention her!" he said, raising his hand, his ki forming a blue ball.
The first few blasts Hotohori dodged easily, but subsequent blows were taking their toll. A crowd had gathered around them, from either side, to watch the spectacle before them. It was obvious the Seiryuu Seishi had the upper hand.
Hotohori took a moment to brace himself; forcing his Seishi friends to stand aside. This was his battle, and he was sure that if they interfered, they would be killed. Leaning his forehead against the hilt of his sword, as was his custom in battle, he gathered his strength. But it was then that it struck him that Nakago did not want Konan—but Miaka's world as well. This wasn't a battle over Chinese Lands… this was a battle to avenge a loved one. Hotohori understood fighting for love completely. He had done it too, once. Opening his eyes, with a renewed clarity and purpose, he finished his chant and braced himself for impact.
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
The ki blast hit the Emperor full force, and he fell. Hotohori didn't try to block this time. Lying on the ground, Houki's words rang again in his mind, and he heard her voice soft in his ear, telling him not to go, telling him, she loved him, telling him—"Emperor—Heika no da!" Chichiri reached him first. Hotohori smiled faintly up at his friend and fellow warrior.
"Chichi—ri."
Tasuki joined them on Hotohori's other side, a worried look on his face. "Hotohori, you're alive, we're gonna get you help, buddy—we're—" but Hotohori cut him off.
"No. It is finished. There are more important things to be done now. You must…contact…Miaka." And with that, the Emperor joined Chiriko and Nuriko.
Nakago watched the passing of the Emperor with mild interest. 'There are some things I wish I never had to experience.' He thought to himself, cradling Soi's head in his arms. 'And there are others I am glad I did.' He turned around and walked from the battlefield uninterrupted, the fighting had mostly ceased, bodies were scattered everywhere, some still alive, most dead.
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet the end
Laying her body to rest was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life. He didn't know how to tell her good by. He didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to lie down with her, to join her in her enternal sleep, but he knew there was much more that needed to be don if Seiryuu was to win this Great War. He could not afford to be this week, and he did not know why he had allowed this weakness to penetrate him. He did not know how he had let it.
She had been obvious about her love. And she had been hurt for it, several times. Every time he had lain with her, every time after every battle she told him she loved him, he would simply grunt in response, or say nothing at all—but really he knew he cared for her in return. She had pierced his glass heart, she had made him shiver when he had thought it was impossible, she had gotten beneath his skin when he was beneath hers, and she had—healed him. In more ways than one. Her powers were wonderful, he had no doubt of that, but he did not realize that they had done such a fantastic job, until he needed them—until he needed her.
That as her pyre burned, he made a pact with Seiryuu God himself. He pleaded that if the God was called, if the Miko was able to do her job, and the world was made His, he wanted to join her. He wanted to join her in Heaven or Hell or where ever she was. Without her he was not a man, without her he was not a General, without her, he could not be the Seishi Seiryuu deserved—a tear slipped from his eye, and he did not know what to make of it. Even when his mother had died, when he had killed all of those people, he had not cried. Now he had nothing—and now he was nothing.
Nakago was an evil man, an evil man caught in an evil game on the wrong side of things. But he knew love. He knew love too late—true, but he knew it, and he decided to fight for it. When he crossed into the Mikos' world, when Yui called Seiryuu, when Miaka called Suzaku when Tamahome appeared, Nakago knew it was his turn to die. He was a prideful man, and he never betrayed his God or his Seishi. When Tamahome delivered the final blow, relief washed over him—and Tamahome saw it in his face. Looking around at the people gathered he almost smiled through the pain. "This is your world now." He said simply, to the man standing before him. "Take care of her."
Tamahome was shocked to hear the words fall from the lips of the man he was looking at—the man he'd assumed had no heart.
"I go to her, now. She's waiting for me." Nakago said, looking somewhere beyond the Seishi he saw in front of him, and into the sky above them, still filled with dust from fallen buildings. "Thank you." He said, finally, before shutting his eyes, and slumping back against a slab of concrete. Miaka ran to comfort her lover, as Tamahome tried to comprehend what had just taken place.
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
Somewhere else, Soi opened her arms to the blond haired man, the smile on her face, was unmistakable. "I've been waiting for you, my love, what too you so long?"
(Never sleep never die)
June 8,2005
Wordslinger