Author: Lady Eliza
Characters: All Characters
Rating: T
Summary: Total AU Rory and Logan Spoiler Warning
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its characters.
AN: Thank you to all my reviewers for their wonderful feedback. Basically everyone asked me the same question: 'LORELAI?' and yes it was Lorelai who is in cahoots with Elias to get rid of Jess. She would do anything for her daughter and she will only go to great lengths when provoked. Now, someone asked me where I get the dress/outfits I put up on my blog. Well, you see I'm obessessed with fashion and anything to do with it, so I either google the designers name or check out their official website. I have tones of images of fashion on my PC and I simply go through them to find an outfit suitable for Rory's special events. I'm kinda obsessed with shopping as well (hehe). I admit I'm a shopoholic. Beeno: Thank you I got more sleep today and hopefully that is reflective on my chapter. I know I said I would post my other fic today, but I can't seem to be able to write the ending the way I want it, there has been a lot of editing going on, so most likely tomorrow or the latest Sunday. I hope you enjoy the chapter and please continue to review.
Chapter 42: Lingerie
Lorelai felt horrible for going behind her daughters back and helping Elias Huntzberger in removing Jess as a threat. She hadn't wanted to do it but had been compelled into action because Rory's happiness was at stake. She had actually done something that Emily Gilmore would've approved of, that freaked her out.
Lorelai had asked Luke if he was all right with her decision to help Elias with the Jess situation. He hadn't been thrilled but he had supported her in her attempt to help Rory. She knew Luke so she had told him about Elias' plan beforehand so Luke could take measures to talk some sense into Jess before the tapes were shown to the individuals involved.
Lorelai knew that if her daughter heard about her co-operation with Elias Huntzberger she would never hear the end of it. She truly wanted to protect her daughter and Logan from Jess, who seemed to want to break the couple apart. Lorelai hoped that should this information come out people realize that she had done this to protect her daughter's happiness.
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Rory who knew nothing about what had taken place at the wedding was studying for a final she had in a few days in her dorm room. Logan and the guys were throwing a bachelor party for Doyle that day so she couldn't even see her boyfriend.
The girl's had gotten together with Lorelai, Sookie, Emily, Shira, and Francine to plan Paris' baby shower, which was going to be held the next Friday at the Dragonfly Inn. Rory was immersed in the Russian Revolution, when she heard a lot of noise coming from the common room.
Rory went to investigate the noise and stopped dead in her tracks. There before her were Madeline, Louise, Stephanie, and Paris with shopping bags in their arms from Victoria Secrets.
"Guys, what's with the lingerie? Is someone getting married?" asked Rory.
"Oh no, this is payback for ruining our bachelorette party. The guys can't just enjoy their own party without some interference from us," said Louise.
Rory was going to regret this but she asked anyways. "What are we going to do? And will this stunt end us up in jail?"
"Lighten up Gilmore, we aren't going get arrested for anything we're about to do," said Madeline.
"I still don't understand what we're doing," yelled Paris.
"Yeah, I'm just as lost as her," said Stephanie pointing to Paris.
Louise rolled her eyes then sighed. "Fine, I will explain it again since Rory needs to be filled in. We, as in everyone in this room, are going to crash the boy's bachelor party."
"Oh I don't like where this is going," said Rory.
Madeline continued on as if Rory didn't interrupt, "We did a little research and found out the guys had hired strippers from a certain place so we took the liberty of cancelling said order without their knowledge. Instead we've booked them stripper drag queens who will entertain them for an hour before we make our appearance and laugh in their faces."
Rory let out the breath she had been holding when she realized the lingerie was for the drag queens.
Madeline and Louise looked at each then at the others before the spoke. "Now this is how it's going to be. We have a camera set up so we can watch the boy's reaction…"
The poor boys weren't going to know what hit them.
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Jess was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when Luke came barging through the front door like a man on a mission. "Jess, we need to talk, right now."
Jess looked at his mother who was cooking breakfast and shrugged his shoulders. He followed Luke into the den where the TV was still on from T.J. watching the Simpson's this morning. "What can I do for you Luke?"
"I thought you told me that your relationship with Theresa Cromwell was over," said Luke.
Jess hesitated for just a moment and Luke saw the truth. He hadn't liked that Lorelai was teaming up Elias Huntzberger to get Jess out of Rory and Logan's life, but now he was disgusted with Jess. Theresa Cromwell was a married woman with a couple of kids, did he not think about their well-being.
"Listen Luke…" Jess didn't get a chance to finish.
"No you listen Jess I want you to know something, I am utterly disgusted with your behaviour as of late. You go after Rory knowing full well that she is engaged to Logan and now you sleep with a married woman again. You are way over your head," said Luke.
"Luke I know what I'm doing," Jess tried to reassure his uncle.
"Don't give me that crap. You want to know how far you've pushed certain people, here watch this," said Luke. He then pushed a DVD into Jess' hand and walked up the stairs to wait for him in the living room.
Luke was pacing the living room floor and he kept looking at the clock every few minutes. When Jess made his way up the stairs he was pissed as hell. Someone had taped a personal moment in his life and he wanted to punch something really badly.
"Where the hell did you get this or do I not want to know," ask Jess.
"I got that from Lorelai, the original is with Elias Huntzberger who is going to show it to Preston Cromwell, Rory and Logan. Now do you understand the people you are dealing with? These are powerful individuals that have a lot of connections?"
"I need some time to think this through, then I will get back to you, all right?" asked Jess.
Luke really looked at his nephew and realized he was scared out of his mind, but he just didn't want to admit it because he had a reputation to protect. "I'll give you 24 hours to think things through then I want an answer. You will not go running to your father or anyone else. You will stay in Stars Hollow or so help me god I will come after you and it won't be pretty. Do I make myself clear?" asked Luke.
"Crystal," said Jess.
Luke stormed out of the house and Jess sat on the couch with his hands on his head, a true sign of defeat.
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Logan was helping Finn set up for the bachelor party that was supposed to happen in less than and hour. Finn always left things to the last minute and Logan always ended up helping him, it was a sad state of affairs. Colin had gone out to get change since most of the boys attending wouldn't be able to break any change for their entertainment.
Finn had said that Doyle was coming with Seth and Robert so that rounded out the group of merry men. Logan had not heard anything about when the strippers were arriving, but he had to be on his best behaviour or else Rory would deny him sex like she had been doing on a regular basis after the stunt he and the guys had pulled during the girls bachelorette party.
"So Finn when is the entertainment arriving?" asked Logan.
"Oh don't worry mate it's all taken care of. I made a few phone calls to the right people. Nothing can go wrong with the entertainment for this evening," said Finn.
"I hope so," said Logan.
"You worry too much. I think the lovely Rory has rubbed off on you." Finn paused before he asked, "Did that sentence sound dirty to you?"
"Yeah it did," laughed Logan.
As the two boys were laughing the rest of the group showed up all at once. "Hello all, welcome to the bachelor party of one Doyle Goodrich," said Finn.
"Let the party begin," yelled Colin.
Right at that moment there was a knock on the door and Finn went to answer it. The other guys sat down on the sofa and waited for the entertainment to begin. Finn opened the door to a bunch of women, but they looked rather big to him. He'd never met a woman with masculine muscles and who was tall, but right before him were several women who shared the same male-like features. It was quite odd.
When the 'women' walked in the other guys were getting ready to dole out the cash but when they saw the entertainment they froze. One of the 'women' came up to Seth and said, "Well, hello handsome. Would you like me to give you a lap dance?"
Seth visibly swallowed and shook his head no. Colin was getting uncomfortable at the situation, Robert was scared that the strippers might attack him, Doyle was moving closer to Logan since if one of the 'women' were to grab him, he hoped Logan would save him and Logan was the only one who understood that the 'women' weren't strippers, but in fact drag queens.
"Finn, you idiot you got drag queens to strip for us?" yelled Logan.
"Drag queens? Logan these ladies aren't drag queens. Ladies I apologize for my friend's rude outburst. Logan you know very well what drag queens look like. You remember seeing father dressed up, don't you?" asked Finn in a conversational manner.
"Finn these are drag queens. Ask them yourself," said Logan.
Finn was about to answer when his cell phone went off. He answered it and Madeline was requesting he meet her at Rory and Paris' dorm to speak to him about something of utter importance. Finn looked frightened when he told the rest of the guys about his talk with Maddy.
"I think she's going to tell me she's pregnant. If that turns out to be true mother is going to come after me with her shotgun and demand that we wed post haste. Then she's going to plan the perfect society wedding after the baby is born," cried Finn.
Logan wanted to laugh since Finn was being overdramatic once again. "Finnegan don't you use protection when you sleep with her?"
"Logan, we are in the presence of ladies, really where are your manners this evening. Yes we do use protection, but those things aren't that reliable," said Finn.
Doyle butted in before they ended up talking about sex the whole evening. "Finn, go see what Maddy wants then come back here when you're done. Don't overreact."
Finn sniffed in disapproval at Doyle then bowed to the 'women' and left the dorm. The other guys were stuck with the drag queens that were adamant to put on a show.
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"Oh God, I can't believe I had to watch that," said Robert.
"I will never in my life do anything to piss off the girl's again," said Colin.
Through the whole performance the guys had realized that the girls had changed their evenings entertainment from female strippers to drag queens. Logan was mad that he hadn't recognized the stunt the girls pulled when the 'women' first entered the room.
"I'm so glad there gone since the blond scared the crap out of me," said Doyle.
"I know what you mean, that one gave me the heebie-jeebies," said Logan.
"I'm going to kill Finn for leaving us behind while he had to go meet Madeline," ranted Robert.
The 'ladies' had left and the guys were sitting on the couch relieving in the fact that they had come out of that unscathed. There was a knock on the door and before anyone could answer it the door burst open and Finn walked in wearing an expensive set of bra and panties with those wiry contraptions and stockings.
The guys let out an audible gasp at seeing their good friend in such little clothing. They wondered how he could be dressed in drag once again. Before anyone could comment the girls: Louise, Madeline, Stephanie, and Rory walked in wearing similar outfits to Finn. Logan groaned at what Rory was revealing, Colin wanted to run to Stephanie and cover her up, and Doyle was just happy that Paris didn't walk in with a skimpy outfit on.
Paris walked in last dressed normally but with a stereo player in her hand. She played the music before anyone could comment on the reason for everyone including Finn dressing up in lingerie. The music began to play: Where's all mah soul sistas, Lemme hear ya'll flow sistas, Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista, Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista.
"Oh god, I think I know what they're doing," said Logan. He could only watch as Finn started to sing in his off key voice.
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey), Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here), Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea), Creole lady Marmalade. He squeaked out the last word and the guys had to cover their ears.
The five guys could only watch while their significant others were strutting their stuff along with Finn trying to imitate the Lady Marmalade video. Logan was fascinated with Rory's dancing ability in four-inch heels and thong underwear. Colin was salivating as Stephanie winked at him. Robert only had eyes for Louise who was giving him the come-hither look. Seth was just enjoying the show.
Finn was enjoying himself immensely since he was surrounded by four women dancing around him in barely there underwear, and people said dressing in drag wasn't fun. He especially liked the way one Madeline Lynn was moving. 'Yep, he was in heaven, or an equivalent to it.'
When Finn sang the last verse, off key of course, the girls started dancing more provocatively. Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir), Voulez vous coucher avec moi (all my sistas yea), Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir), Voulez vous coucher avec moi (C'Mon! uh)
On the last high note Finn tried to do a high kick, but he missed and fell on Madeline who fell on Louise who fell on Stephanie who grabbed onto Rory who tried to balance her, but that did not happen. They ended up in pile on the floor and the guys watched in rapt fascination as they tried to scramble back up.
'Oh yeah, this is one hell of a bachelor party' thought the guys.
AN1: The song 'Lady Marmalade' does not belong to me or am I in any way affiliated to to it.
AN2: Please, Please, Please, Review.