Notes: For those waiting for it, the first part of Sam's explanation is in here. Also, as the title says, this is the beginning of the end. I'm not going to make this story very graphic, as it's supposed to be funny, so just keep that in mind as everything starts to unwind. The ending is taking a while to write because it's a strange attempt at controlled chaos. Thanks for reading, as always.

Ch 24: Beginning of the End

Sam was going stir crazy. She hadn't felt like this since shortly after being dropped off at the cabin in the first place. And she wasn't entirely sure why it hit all of a sudden, but it did. She knew, rationally, that it was a combination of many things. It was getting cold outside, which meant both she and Jack were inside most of the time. Additionally, she wasn't comfortable in her own skin anymore. She was itchy and sore and felt huge and gross.

Jack maintained that she barely looked pregnant at all, and joked that she was making all this up and had just stuck a basketball under her shirt, but she couldn't believe him. She had gained nearly twenty-five pounds and felt huge, and different. She couldn't get comfortable at night, and if she wasn't waking up to move around, she was waking up because she was hot, or cold, or had to go to the toilet for the thousandth time that night.

Sam got up slowly and awkwardly and gave up trying to take a nap. Her socks had come off while she was dozing, but getting her socks on took a looong time, so she decided not to mess with it. She went into the living room and sighed. Jack was prodding at the fire in the fireplace. He hopped up to his feet and grinned at her. "Hey, you're up. I'm gonna go grab some more wood for the fire, be right back!"

He hurried out the back door and soon came in carrying a massive stack of the wood Thor had supplied them with once it had started to get cold outside. While the cabin was heated, he always liked to have a fire going as well. Jack stacked the logs near the fireplace and carefully added two fresh ones to the fire, got up to his feet again quickly, and brushed off his sweater. For the first time since she had ever met him, Sam felt older than him. He looked the picture of health and vitality, and it really, really pissed her off.

Seemingly oblivious to the fact that his cheerful attitude was irritating her, he smiled again and said, "Hey, you lost your socks. I'll go get you some more," and had disappeared into the bedroom before she could protest.

He came back into the room and bustled her over to the couch, helping her sit down. "Okay?"

"I'm fine!"

He sat down on the edge of the coffee table and helped her with her socks. "Geez, your feet are freezing! Hey, want me to move the big chair towards the fire?"

She knew, at the back of her mind, that she was the one who had wanted to stay at the cabin in the first place. And that Jack was being absolutely perfect, and she was just tired and grumpy. But at the moment, she really didn't care about any of those things. "I'm so tired of this," she said with a sigh as she watched him swerving the comfortable chair around to face the fireplace.

He positioned the ottoman in front of it and regarded her carefully. "I know. Come on." He pulled her to her feet and guided her over to the chair. He sank into the chair and pulled her down in it with him until she was snuggled in tightly, despite the fact that her expression clearly said she wanted to be left alone.

"Come on, let's hear it." He was rubbing her lower back with the heel of his hand, and she could already feel those muscles loosening up. She had really wanted to stay mad for a little bit longer...

She sighed and said, "I don't want to be one of those whiny complainers... it doesn't do any good."

"Maybe it will. Come on, list your grievances."

"I just feel so... trapped."

"Here?" he prompted.

"Yes, but I know I wouldn't be feeling like that if I didn't feel so trapped in my own skin."

"Keep going."

"I'm... I'm itchy and I can't get comfortable and even if I COULD get my socks on by myself it would take a long time and I'd need a nap after, I feel incredibly gross, and... I just want this baby to be born already."

"You know we can go back if you want, Sam."

"I know, but we made an agreement with Thor and I intend to stick it out. It's not much longer now anyway."

"That doesn't matter, Sam, it's not like you have to prove to him or anybody else you can do this... why don't you want to go back early?"

"I just... don't."

"Why? I never understood why you agreed to it in the first place."

"I thought..." she swallowed hard and started playing with the buttons on his shirt absently. "I just... we'd been here so long already and everything was great. And... I mean we put work first for seven years. Before ourselves, before each other... I figured we deserved a little time where we didn't have to do that, and it was... nice."

"It was," Jack agreed, kissing her. "And you're right. But if you don't want to be here now..."

"I do. I'm just having a bad day. But I know I'm the reason we're still here so I feel guilty complaining about it to you..."

"Don't. You know me in the infirmary?"

"I have a vague recollection."

"Can you picture me, going through nine months of what you've gone through? I'd be..."

"A bear," Sam supplied, laughing.

"Yeah. On a GOOD day."

Sam smiled and got quiet again. "I was also... afraid. A little. I think," she admitted.

"Afraid of what?"

"I don't know... of being pregnant. And not being able to give it my undivided attention. And... wanting to work more than wanting to make sure I was doing everything I was supposed to for the baby."

"We wouldn't let you do that, Sam. And you're the best multitasker I know, I'm sure you would have worked out a proper balance in no time."

"There's something else, too, but I don't want to talk about it right now. I'm starting to feel better."

"Okay." Jack relaxed, pleased that he had helped her feel better, and said, "Good. And some of those things we can take care of. The itchy, for a while at least. Maybe the comfortable. What exactly does 'I feel gross' mean today? I mean, I know what it means when we come home from a really muddy planet. Or a sandy windy one. What does it mean now?"

"It means I would love to take a scalding hot bath but I know I can't. And all I've been thinking about lately is how badly I'd like to shave my legs."

He laughed at that. "Why do you want to shave your legs, it's winter and we're alone!"

"I know, but... I'd just feel so much better."

"Oh. Well... I could do it. I think. I mean I'm afraid I might cut you but... I could try. I think."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I don't know how we'd work that out though... I mean a warm bath is okay for the baby, right? Or maybe in the shower?"

"I think it would probably be easier for you in the shower."

"Okay then, let's go. We're going to have you feeling not itchy, squeaky clean, and comfortable before dinner!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dr. Fraiser was paged over the PA system. Teal'c paused the movie while she went to the phone and called Hammond's office.

"Sir, is everything okay?"

"Yes. Your... supplies... have arrived."

"Thank you, sir. I'll have them sent to Iso room 3. Is there anything else, sir?"

"Not yet. Aren't you off duty now?"

"Yes, sir, but I wanted to remain on base until..." she paused and looked over at Daniel and Teal'c, who weren't even trying to pretend like they weren't eavesdropping. "Until SG-12 comes back from their month-long mineral survey," she lied quickly. "So if you need me, sir, I'm in Teal'c's quarters watching a movie with the remaining half of SG1," she said pointedly.

"I see. Not giving away anything, I hope, doctor."

"No, sir," she assured him. And it hasn't been easy! She screamed internally.

"Very well. Good night, doctor."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh my God, I feel so much better," Sam declared, tucking her hair, which was still damp, behind her ears.

"We aim to please," Jack smirked. "Come on, let's see what's left to fix for dinner."

"I'm not really hungry. I think I'm too comfortable to eat."

Jack gave her a puzzled look. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "But I just feel like... if I eat something right now, I'll get all cranky and uncomfortable again."

"Okay," Jack said patiently. "Well... I'm still going to fix dinner. Maybe you'll want it later."

"I'm going with you," she said firmly, getting up and following him out of the bedroom.

Jack had gone so completely overboard that evening Sam now felt even worse than ever for the way she had been complaining earlier. Aside from shaving her legs (and only nicking her once, near her knee,) there had been the rest of the shower, and he'd used up the rest of the baby oil on her back and tummy, trying to make the persistent itching go away. Now bundled up in drawstring sweat pants and an old Air Force Academy sweatshirt that had to be his or she wouldn't be able to get into it still, she felt warm and comfortable for the first time all day. She hadn't even had a Braxton-Hicks contraction in a while either, and the baby, who usually spent most of the evening kicking up a storm, was apparently taking the night off.

"You sure you can't think of anything you want for dinner?" Jack asked again as he messed around with the fireplace, adding another couple of logs and poking everything around so that it flared up spectacularly. Sam was too distracted by watching him, and the fire, to respond.

"Sam? You okay?"

"Yeah, I just... can we stay here for a little while? Have dinner later?"

"Sure." She nodded to the chair she was leaning on, that they had sat in earlier while she complained, and waited for him to get really comfortable before sitting down next to him, halfway on her side but not completely in his lap like before.

Watching the fire helped calm her further and nearly put her in a trance. Jack draped a blanket over both of them and settled one hand on her tummy, the other one absently running up and down her arm. He eventually realized the patterns she was tracing on his chest were actually numbers, and finally figured out she was writing out pi to a ridiculous degree. He was positive if he asked, she wouldn't even have been aware of it.

"Jack, I know you don't like to hear this kind of stuff," she started.

"Sam..."

"No, I have to say this. Don't worry, I'll keep it short and to the point," she said lightly, kissing his cheek.

He glanced at her suspiciously. "No prattling."

"No prattling, I promise. I just... I can't say I'm surprised at how you've handled all of this, because I've known you for a long time, and I know how compassionate you are even though you do a pretty good job at hiding it most of the time. And I know how protective you've always been of all of us when we've been hurt or injured, and I know that this is somehow connected to all of that. So it hasn't been surprising but it's still been... incredibly moving. And I just wanted to say... thank you. It's an inadequate thing to say but..."

"Sam, you're having a baby. I should be saying those types of things to you but it would sound stupid if I tried..."

"Haven't you ever heard that actions speak louder than words, Jack?" she teased.

"That's a cliché," he grumbled.

"And you are a living example of that cliché, Jack O'Neill, so you might as well get used to it." She pressed her lips firmly to his and pressed her palm to his cheek, which was warm from the fire. "And," she added against his mouth. "If you can wait on dinner, you're about to get sooo lucky."

He smiled slowly, surprised. She had been in such a grouchy mood all day... "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He barely had time to get out a "Sweet" before she was tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth, pulling him into a deep, toe-curling kiss that only ended when Sam needed to breathe. Always an excellent multi-tasker, she took advantage of the break to get him out of his sweater but hesitated when he started to remove her sweatshirt.

Guessing why the hands roaming his chest had suddenly gone still and she was holding her breath, he laughed once and said, "Sam, you are being so ridiculous about this. You are still the hottest woman I have ever seen, but you're a lot hotter without this big old sweatshirt on than with it."

She laughed and would have argued that she wasn't trying to fish for a compliment, but it was kind of hard to speak while being wrestled out of a thick sweatshirt.

"Even with that ridiculous sports bra," Jack added.

She laughed and said, "It's supposed to help! And it does!"

"You always say that. It's coming off for a while," he said firmly, feeling around the back of it. He knew for a fact that she had one with a bunch of hooks at the back. And one that even had a zip up the front. This one was an over-the-head thingy. He frowned at it. "This could take a while."

She giggled, apparently in one of those moods where he was suddenly, through no fault of his own, adorable. Still, he couldn't help but play it up a bit, just to get her to giggle again. He glared at the undergarment and muttered, "You are my nemesis."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

General Hammond was pacing his office nervously. According to Thor, it was going to happen very, very soon. He glanced at his watch. Within an hour, definitely. And Jacob Carter still hadn't shown up or contacted him at all. He'd left four messages with the Tok'ra, no specifics of course, and now it looked like not only was Jacob going to miss the birth of his grandchild, but he most likely wouldn't be able to be informed of the 'situation' gradually. Safely. Maybe Hammond could arrange to be holding the kid while he confessed everything to his best friend. Jacob wouldn't hit him while he held the man's grandchild...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Janet threw a handful of popcorn at Daniel from one side while Teal'c hit him on the head with a pillow from the other.

"What! I just asked if anyone knew when Jack and Sam are coming back!" he yelped, fixing his glasses, which the double-assault had dislodged and left quite buttery from where they had been hit with flying popcorn.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sam, come on, we should go to the bedroom."

"I like it here. By the fire," Sam said distractedly.

"Don't you think I'm a little old and you're a little... pregnant... to be having sex in a chair?"

She shrugged and pointed out, "It's a pretty big chair."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thor was realizing that one good thing about wearing clothes would have been that he could have shoved his hands in his pockets as he paced tight circles in front of the main console on his ship. As he was naked, he had no pockets.

He was getting concerned. According to her vital signs, Major Carter had most likely gone into labor. And yet there was no word from the cabin. He finally gave up waiting and switched over to another monitor. He let out a quick, disbelieving sigh.

"Thor? Did you just contact me? I was in the bathroom..." General Hammond said over the communication device.

"I did, General Hammond."

"Is Sam..."

"She is not. I am sorry, it was a false alarm. I believed she had gone into labor but I was mistaken. Once I switched diagnostics I was able to see that she and O'Neill are... General Hammond, what is the distinction when humans are engaging in sexual intercourse without the obvious intention of trying to reproduce?" Thor asked.

Thor heard General Hammond clear his throat, and he finally said, very quickly, "Oh there's lots of words for that, Thor... I gotta go, let me know when you're beaming them in. Hammond out!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam woke up disoriented. She was burning up, but no longer dozing in front of the fire, which was the last thing she remembered. She was in bed, a glance at the clock told her it would be dawn soon. She was exhausted but wide awake. She realized she skipped dinner, which she wasn't supposed to be doing at this stage, but she wasn't hungry she was...

She grabbed fist-fulls of the sheet tightly in both hands as a particularly sharp contraction hit. When it ended she bit her lip, looking over at her sleeping husband and debating whether she should wake him or not. It was almost two weeks early. This had to be false labor. That was just a bad Braxton-Hicks contraction. And even if it wasn't, and she really was in labor, she knew this would take a long time. There was no need to wake him up now and send him into a frenzy.

Two hours later, she was fairly certain she was in the earliest stages of labor. Still not having anything to compare it to, she wasn't sure. And still, she knew they didn't need to be contacting Thor for quite some time. They were getting worse though, she realized, turning on her side away from Jack and curling into as small of a ball as she could manage, what with the basketball she was already carrying in the way.

The movement woke Jack up and he turned over quickly, touching her back. "You okay?"

"Actually," she said calmly. "I'm pretty sure I'm in labor."