Ch 25: Quick Trip Home
"You're in WHAT!" Jack attempted to jump out of bed, but as his legs were tangled up in the sheets, it turned into a rather ungraceful flopping maneuver that made Sam bounce a bit on the bed next to him.
While he extricated himself from the sheets, she continued calmly, "You don't need to freak out, it's okay, there's plenty of ti-IME!" Another one hit and it was worse than any of the others. Closer to the last one too.
"Hey, Sam, next time you think you might be in labor, what say you give me a nudge, wake me up and say, 'Excuse me, Jack, but I'm having a BABY!'" Jack said, frustrated with her for not telling him sooner. He pulled on some clothes in the dark, not bothering with shoes, and fumbled for the lamp by the bed. "Where's that damn thing Thor gave us..."
"Nightstand," Sam said, her jaw clenched. "Jack, you have to calm down. This isn't a sitcom, there's plenty of time."
Jack located the device and activated it, grabbed the bag they'd packed from the closet, and tossed it on the bed next to her. "Are you okay?" he demanded, pushing her hair out of her face so he could look at her carefully and make sure she wasn't lying.
"I'm okay," she promised, grabbing his arm for support while she tried to sit up. "It's not the most painful thing in the world... yet. Can you get me some clothes?"
Jack grabbed her robe off the foot of the bed and she said, "Real clothes."
"You're just going to put on a gown once we get there..."
"Jack, please."
"All right." He reluctantly helped her into the sweatshirt and pants from earlier and was just tying the string on them when they, along with the bag, disappeared in Thor's bright white light.
They had a second to catch a glimpse of his ship before he called, "I will meet you there" and sent them down to the SGC.
Sam grabbed both of Jack's arms tightly as she was thrown off balance by the rapid re-materialization. Jack dropped the bag he was carrying and helped keep her on her feet, looking around the infirmary. "DOC!" he barked.
There were plenty of people in the room, just not any he particularly cared about seeing at the moment. The two guards at the door, who were training their weapons on them and had ordered them not to move, really pissed him off. A nurse was checking on Sergeant Siler, who was in one of the beds and had a lot of gauze wrapped round both his hands.
"Sir, ma'am, do not move," one of the guards repeated.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Lieutenant, can't you see that Major Carter is in labor!"
The guard looked to the other one nervously. "Alternate reality?" he guessed.
"We're not from an alternate reality!" Jack and Sam chorused. Jack turned to the nurse and ordered, "Find Dr. Fraiser, NOW."
The nurse scurried away.
"Siler! Hi!" Sam suddenly said, smiling at him. "How've you been, it's so great to see you!"
"Hi... Major Carter," Siler said carefully.
"What happened to you, are you okay?"
"Sam, later, please," Jack muttered.
Sam ignored him.
"I'm okay, Major, but the gate is dialing out slower than normal, so I was going to check all the connections and I forgot to ground one of them. Just a nasty shock."
Sam nodded, furrowing her brow, and said, "It's probably that capacitor by the fourth chevron. It could be leaking energy, it's one of the oldest ones. You should probably just go ahead and replace it."
Siler, feeling rather foolish for not thinking of that himself, said, "You're right, Major, that's probably it. I'll have that checked out immediately. It's... good to have you back."
"Hey!" The guard who kept telling them to be still and shut up interrupted. "We still don't know who these people are, Sergeant Siler, don't tell them..."
"You know who they are," General Hammond barked, entering the infirmary. "Stand down, Airmen!"
Both guards lowered their weapons. Hammond smiled at both of them. "You're in Iso room 3. Come on."
Jack, holding onto Sam's elbow to help her balance, grabbed the bag resting on the floor next to him and started to follow Hammond out the door. As they got close to him, Sam hugged the older man tightly and kissed him on the cheek. "We missed you, sir."
"We missed you around here too, Major. Come on, let's go get you settled in and then we'll all... talk." The way Sam nodded and glanced nervously at Jack, Hammond was now convinced that Thor was right: she already had everything pretty much figured out anyway.
As they headed down the corridor to the isolation rooms, Teal'c came around the corner running as fast as he could. "I called them..." Hammond muttered, slightly alarmed as the huge Jaffa barreled down the hall towards them.
By this time, Daniel Jackson was also headed for them, although he wasn't as fast as Teal'c. "Whoa!" Jack exclaimed, intending to step between Sam and Teal'c as he saw how fast his friend was heading for her.
Teal'c stopped on a dime however and smiled, a huge smile Jack had only seen when Teal'c told a joke. "Major Carter, I am gl..." Sam launched herself at the huge man, and he lifted her about a foot off the ground in a huge hug, just as Daniel caught them up.
Not possessing Teal'c's impressive maneuverability, Daniel ploughed right into Jack, knocking him back several steps with the force of his hug. "Hey there Danny," Jack gasped, patting him on the back as Janet finally came round the corner, running as fast as she could in her skirt and heels, cursing her short legs with every step.
After she'd kissed him on the cheek, Teal'c set Sam down and she turned to Daniel, who hugged her tightly and kissed her head. Teal'c, in turn, hugged Jack so hard that Jack was glad Fraiser was there, as he was fairly certain he now had a couple of bruised ribs. "Glad to see you too buddy," Jack managed to get out, patting his cheek.
Janet was now hugging Sam, and Daniel was staring at Sam's stomach. "Sam, you're... you're having a baby!" he finally exclaimed. "And your hair is long!" He turned to Jack and said, "And... and you don't have any shoes on!"
"And you're supposed to be the bright one," Jack commented, rolling his eyes. Why did not wearing shoes get the same inflection as having a baby? He had missed the Spacemonkey.
"Everybody, please, let's get Sam on a bed first before we continue this!" Janet ordered.
"Jan, I'm okay, really, I don't think we even needed to be here this early..."
"Let me be the judge of that, Colonel, grab her other arm. Teal'c, carry that bag. Sir, you might want to get Thor."
Everyone scrambled to follow her orders, and soon they were all in the Isolation room that had already been equipped for the delivery. Janet made Teal'c and Daniel wait in the hall while they helped Sam into one of the lovely gowns that tied in the back. "Hey, how come Jack gets to stay!" Daniel demanded as Teal'c all but forcibly pushed him out the door.
Janet, Jack, and Sam shot Daniel and exasperated look and he rolled his eyes and said, "Fine!" sounding like a petulant child.
"Jan, I want them in here after this, we've missed them so much," Sam insisted as they helped her into the bed and propped the whole bed up into a sitting position.
"I know, and I'm sure Daniel's about to pee his pants for an explanation of all this."
"All right, honey, you have the sex talk with Danny and I'll have it with the next one," Jack joked.
Sam ignored that because she was looking at Janet, "How long have you known..."
"Not very long," Janet said. "It's been so hard not telling them though! The juiciest secret the SGC ever had... it was torture!"
"I can imagine!" Sam agreed.
"I saw your wedding," Janet said with a fond smile.
"You did? Janet, I'm so glad..."
"I signed as one of the witnesses and you'll never believe who..."
"Ladies!" Jack interrupted. They both looked at him as though shocked that he would dare interrupt their conversation. "Not that I don't have a lot of questions about all of this too but... SAM'S HAVING A BABY!"
"Colonel, you do know it's going to be hours. And hours," Janet said mildly, picking up her stethoscope.
"I know, but..." Sam drew all the focus in the room as she grabbed her stomach and closed her eyes tightly. "See!" Jack exclaimed, pointing unnecessarily at her stomach.
"All right, Colonel, you need to calm down," Janet ordered as she started hooking Sam up to the fetal monitor. "Sam, you're doing fine," Janet encouraged quietly. While she did a preliminary examination, she said, "Cassie, General Hammond and I are the only ones who know besides Thor. Daniel and Teal'c had no idea. They kept asking where you were, of course, but nobody would tell them anything."
"What? You knew where we were this whole time and nobody... cared?" Jack asked.
Janet covered Sam's legs with a blanket and said, "You're definitely in labor, but this is going to take a long time. Shall I let everyone in for some answers?"
"Yes," Sam said firmly.
Janet nodded and opened the door. It was like opening the floodgates. Daniel, Teal'c, Hammond, and Thor all poured in and surrounded the bed.
"Sam, are you okay?" Daniel asked immediately, coming over to the side of the bed next to Jack.
"I'm fine, Daniel. We got here really early, don't worry. My water hasn't even broken yet," she assured him.
"Well, I'll still do this as quickly as possible because obviously we all have more important things to be worried about here, but I'm sure there are a few details everyone needs cleared up," Hammond said.
"A few?" Jack and Daniel both asked. Sam smiled at them both. A year apart, for Jack at least, and they were back into their old rhythm again already. Well, it had been the same when Daniel returned from being ascended as well, she figured. Even before Daniel could remember who he was, he and Jack had fallen into the same old rapport.
Janet hedged over towards Hammond and Thor, whilst SG1 huddled closer together. Daniel perched himself sideways on the foot of the bed. Teal'c stood beside the head of Sam's bed like he was keeping guard over her, and Jack lowered himself to a stool, pulled as close to the other side of the bed as he could get.
Once everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to begin, Hammond said, "Well, everyone knows about Thor's proposal. The President was hesitant to consider it, but Thor and I privately felt that Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill... would actually be pleased with the... opportunities accepting the proposal could present, if they were given time and space away from the SGC and their military obligations to think about it."
Thor picked up the narrative. "The solution was obvious. We transported Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill to his cabin and encapsulated them in a time-dilation bubble similar to the one used on the human-form Replicators."
Jack and Daniel both started to ask questions but Thor held up one long grey finger for silence and continued. "This seemed ideal, because they were able to have as much time as they needed to work things out between themselves, while the rest of us did not have to wait very long for them to..."
"Stop being so damn stubborn," Hammond interrupted, smiling at them fondly. Daniel's mouth was hanging open. "Even I underestimated how hard-headed the two of you are. Thor had to fiddle with his device several times, increasing the distortion to give you more and more time..."
"So... Daniel, how long did you think we were gone?" Jack asked once he understood what they were telling him.
"Eleven days," Daniel answered. "You guys?"
"About... fourteen months?" Jack turned to Sam for confirmation and she nodded.
"Wow," Daniel said.
"I will let you catch each other up on all the details yourselves. Major? Colonel? It's good to have you back."
"Thank you, sir," Sam said quickly.
Jack nodded, still a little stunned. And the thing that he was having the hardest time grasping was... "You figured it out?" he asked Sam.
She glanced at Janet nervously and then turned back to him. "I suspected. I wasn't sure but... Thor's response times and... when he wouldn't let us put a date on the marriage certificate..."
"You got MARRIED!" Daniel interrupted.
Sam wanted to squeeze his hand, but leaning that far forward was just not practical. "We'll have another ceremony so you can all be there," she promised him. "We missed you guys SO much."
"Then why didn't you come back when you figured it out?" Daniel asked quietly, clearly upset with her.
"I'm kind of wondering that too," Jack added.
"Maybe Thor and I should let you all talk now. Major Carter, we'll be checking on you regularly, but I know you'll get through this just fine," Hammond said with an encouraging smile.
Thor couldn't think of anything to say, so he just tilted his head and followed Hammond out the door, his small grey feet making a slight smacking sound against the cool floor.
"Jack, we talked about..." Sam broke off, wincing and grabbing his wrist as another minor contraction hit. Janet moved over to the monitor to watch.
Teal'c joined her. "This device tracks her birth pains?"
"Yes, see... you can actually see from the readout when another contraction is about to hit and when it's going to end... almost done, Sam," Janet said as it levelled off. Sam breathed heavily and slowly relaxed her grip on Jack's wrist.
"Okay?" he asked.
"Yeah. Still not as bad as say... a Goa'uld pain stick."
"Well, that's something," he said sarcastically.
"Sam, when did you figure out you were in a time dilation bubble?" Daniel prompted.
"I didn't really 'figure it out.' I mean I started to suspect... there were clues, like Thor not letting me put a date on the marriage license. I guess that was the biggest tip-off... well and the fact that he promised if we were needed back here he'd bring us, and then he didn't. I mean I'd like to think we're not that expendable."
"But how long ago was that, to you?" Daniel pressed.
"About ten months," Sam admitted. She turned to Janet curiously. "How long was it to you?"
"About three days," Janet said with a smile. "Thor really cranked it up at the end."
"Wha- Janet, you knew! I told you she knew!" Daniel said to Teal'c. "Everyone knew but me!"
"I did not know, Daniel Jackson. I merely knew that Dr. Fraiser knew."
"I wanted to tell you guys so badly but Hammond ordered me not to."
"Nobody told you not to tell me," Jack said quietly to Sam.
She turned to him, looking sad. "I'm sorry, Jack, I just wasn't sure and... I figured if you knew you'd want to get back here so you could let Thor and Hammond have it, and I... wanted to stay."
"That's the part I still don't understand," he said.
"Me neither," Daniel put in.
"Well... once the time dilation bubble idea occurred to me, I felt so much better, because before that I just kept thinking, wow, what the hell were Jack and I so worried about preserving our professional relationship for all those years, if nobody at the SGC even needs us back there after months of being gone. So once I realized that to you guys, we weren't gone as long, even though I did think it was probably a little bit longer than eleven days... I just figured we were already in it, we might as well see it through."
She turned all of her attention back to Jack and continued, "We talked about that some, yesterday. And I said there was one other thing... it was this. I just figured, I might actually miss less work by staying away. It was a win-win situation... we had over a year of just... being with each other, and I didn't have to balance working and being..." She scrunched her eyes shut again and Jack gave her his hand to squeeze.
Daniel shifted at the foot of the bed. It was terrible watching her in pain. He knew it was going to get worse, of course. He'd delivered three babies himself. But with everything that had just happened... he was a little overwhelmed, to say the least. Jack and Sam were married and having a baby... it was just unbelievable.
"Janet!" Daniel suddenly exclaimed, turning to her.
"What?"
"That dress, when I knocked you down in the hall..."
"Was for Sam," Janet finished.
"Jan, I knew you had to have picked that out," Sam said as she caught her breath.
"Cassie helped. General Hammond said he needed a fast shopper, so I went to the expert. She's been shopping all day too, getting things for the baby."
"Blue things or pink things?" Jack asked quickly.
"Don't tell him!" Sam exclaimed.
For some reason, this made everyone laugh. They looked at each other, confused, and shrugged.
"We just... haven't had as long to get used to the idea of you two as married as you have," Janet tried to explain. "And I've had longer than the Hardy Boys here."
"The who?" Jack asked, confused. Sam laughed as Daniel narrowed his eyes at Janet.
Teal'c announced calmly, "Major Carter, I believe you are about to have another contraction."
"To answer your question, Jack, I don't know," Janet said, watching as Sam clenched her jaw and squeezed Jack's hand again. "Only Thor knows the sex of the baby."
"Damn," Jack said.
Janet looked around the small room and sighed. There were way too many people in here, but there was no way she could split them up now, at least not for long.
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Janet gave them an hour to catch each other up. She considered these people her closest friends, but they still had a team dynamic that was beyond her comprehension. Sam's labor was progressing very slowly, and it was obvious to Janet that although Sam was loving their little team chat, she was starting to get antsy.
"Sam, do you want to walk in the hallway a bit?" she asked quietly.
"Yes!" Sam said gratefully.
"What? Walk around? Now?" Jack looked at them both like they were stark raving mad.
"It's perfectly fine, Colonel," Janet assured him. "As long as someone is there to help her."
"We'll all go," Daniel said immediately.
Sam was touched by the instant devotion of Daniel and Teal'c, but honestly, the idea of traipsing around the hallway with three bodyguards orbiting around her just wasn't appealing at all.
"Why don't you take turns," Janet suggested. "It might help speed up the delivery."
"I'll go first," Jack said firmly, helping Sam sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed.
"Colonel, you don't have any shoes on," Janet reminded him.
"So? Neither does she."
"Why don't you and Daniel go to the locker room and you can get changed, let Teal'c walk with Sam first, then you can fight over who gets to go next."
"But..."
"No buts, Colonel."
"It's okay, Jack. I really can't sit here anymore right now," Sam tried to explain.
"Okay," Jack said reluctantly. "But we'll be right back. Come on Daniel."
He squeezed her hand and left with Daniel. Janet started taking all the monitors off of Sam, who smiled at Teal'c as he gave her a hand up. "Thanks, Teal'c."
"Of course, Major Carter. I spent many hours helping Drey'auc anticipate the birth of our son. I am sure you will be fine."
"Thank you," Sam said gratefully.
"Um, Sam, hang on a minute," Janet suddenly said.
"What?"
"Well... if you're going to be walking around the halls I think you might want to put your sweatpants back on," Janet said delicately.
Sam blushed and said, "God, thank you!"
Teal'c wisely said nothing, but helped her back onto the edge of the bed and then stepped back to let Janet help her.
"It's so hot here though, I don't want those things back on," Sam suddenly realized. She spotted her bag and said, "Grab me some shorts, Jan."
"You packed shorts?" Janet mused as she went over to the bag and unzipped it, peering inside. Spotting a pair of the Colonel's boxers on top, she suddenly blushed as she realized that's what Sam meant.
"What, Janet?" Sam demanded as Janet helped her into the shorts and pulled them up to her knees, letting Sam do the rest.
"It's just... I mean it's one thing to know that you guys are married and having a baby and everything... it's just another thing entirely to think about you sharing underwear. And to see you wearing it."
"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.
Sam tried to remember that to them, she and Jack had only been gone a little over a week. Laughing, she said, "I guess it must be really weird for you guys. Sorry, it's hard to remember that things used to be different sometimes... everything changed so gradually, and so many things didn't have to change at all..." she tried to explain, glad that a contraction interrupted her, because she hadn't really known where she was going with that anyway.
Teal'c kept his arm around her until it stopped. "Okay, I'm ready to walk now." As Teal'c helped guide her to the door, Sam called, "Everything covered now, Jan?"
Glancing at her friend's backside, she could glimpse the Simpsons boxers underneath her gown and said, "Honestly, I think your bare ass would be less embarrassing than parading around the hallway in those things, but knock yourself out, hon."
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"Daniel, why do you keep looking at me like that?" Jack demanded in the elevator.
"I just... you're... different."
"Yeah, you try cutting your own hair for a year," Jack quipped.
"That's not what I meant. You're... happy. It's... nice."
"32 languages and all you can come up with is 'happy' and 'nice.'"
"Well, what do you want me to say?"
"I don't know. It is pretty nice," Jack admitted.
"Then I'm happy for you."
"Well then... that's nice."
They looked at each other for a moment, nodded slightly, and kept walking, getting off the elevator and heading for the locker room.
"So... tell me about your wedding."
"You know, the usual. Beautiful woman, white dress, rings, vows, little grey alien."
"Thor married you?"
"Yup. On the dock."
"Weird."
"It was Sam's idea."
"That's... weirder. How'd you get rings?"
"I had my the ones my grandmother gave me in the safe up there and... huh. I don't know where Sam got mine."
"You didn't ask?"
"Had other things on my mind," Jack said suggestively with a satisfied smirk as he opened his locker.
"Oh man... Jack, just because I'm happy for you doesn't mean I want to hear all your lewd thoughts about Sam, okay?"
"Okay."
"EW! Jack!" Daniel objected.
"What, all I said was, 'okay.'"
"Yeah but then you got a... a look."
"Oh grow up, Daniel," Jack muttered, pulling on some BDU pants and a black tee-shirt. He just figured out why he'd been burning up since they got back to the SGC - it must still be spring here. He sat down on the bench to put on his shoes and socks and said, "Thor took a bunch of pictures, you should ask him what he did with them."
"I definitely will. Jack?"
"What?"
"I really am happy for you," he said sincerely. "I just... Sam's like a sister to me, ya know?"
"I know. And don't worry, I remember what you said."
"You remember something I said?" Daniel joked.
"Very funny, Danny-boy. Yeah, remember when you were stuck in old Methuselah's body and you said you wouldn't let me anywhere near your sister if you had one?"
"Machello," Daniel corrected automatically.
"I know. But he was really old."
"You know, I was actually thinking about Sam when I said that," Daniel said thoughtfully.
"You were not."
"Yeah, I was. But that was a long time ago, Jack. And... I'm just glad someone came up with a way to let you guys be openly together without you retiring again."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It would be a real pain in the ass to have to get used to a new CO at this point."
"Wow, tell me how you really feel," Jack said sarcastically, getting to his feet, dressed and ready to go.
"Okay, since you asked so nicely... I wouldn't trust Sam to anybody but you."
Jack stopped walking and turned back to Daniel. "That means a lot," he said, pulling him into a big hug.
The SG-3 marines came in, clearly on one of those post-successful-mission highs.
"Hey, Colonel O'Neill's back!" one of them exclaimed.
"Whoa whoa, did we interrupt something here?" Reynolds joked. Jack and Daniel jumped away from each other as though scalded.
Daniel started to answer but Jack said loudly, "Nah. We're just on our way back up to my wife. She's having a baby, you know."
"Jack," Daniel warned quietly while the rest of SG-3 laughed, thinking he was joking.
"What, Daniel? She is. Come on, let's go. I'll tell Major Carter you said hello, boys!" he called as he pushed past them and headed out of the locker room.
"You do know that now SG-3, and pretty soon the entire base, is going to be trying to get in to see Sam," Daniel pointed out as they headed to the elevator.
"Crap," Jack said. "All right here's the plan, Daniel. You're the one who let this slip, got it? She missed you like crazy, she'll think it's sweet coming from you."
"But you're her..."
"Yeah, she'll think I was just bragging..."
"Jack, you were bragging," Daniel pointed out as they got off the elevator.
At the end of the hall, Teal'c and Sam were walking, Sam holding onto Teal'c's forearm and sliding her other hand along the wall for support. "Daniel, that is not the point," Jack said firmly.
"O'Neill!" Teal'c called.
"Hey, buddy!" Jack called. "How's it going?"
"We're fine," Sam assured him.
"The pains seem to be increasing in frequency and intensity, O'Neill," Teal'c supplied as they met up in the hall halfway.
"Yeah, go figure," Jack said, glancing over his shoulder nervously. "Listen, we might want to go back to the room, I think we're gonna have a little company here in a minute..."
"Oh God, Jack, what did you do?" Sam moaned.
"It was me!" Daniel piped up. Jack pointed at Daniel and nodded.
She looked at both of them and sighed. "You're bad liars."
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