A/N –

Iwazaru: Yay! We have reviews!

Kikazaru: To The Chichi Slaughter House and hitchhiker1, I'm working on it.

Iwazaru: By the way, there will be as little character bashing as possible in this fic. I don't want to get them too out of character.

Mizaru: Also in response to hitchhiker1, Iwazaru is insistent on having some form of kitchen utensil flung at Goku's head in each chapter.

Iwazaru: Not each chapter. Not the one(s) with Goku and Veggie—

Kikazaru: --having hot man-sex!!

Iwazaru: Err...yes. Besides, the frying pan is a classic!

Mizaru: More plot!

Kikazaru: No, more lemon!

Mizaru: Plot!

Kikazaru: Grrr...I say lemon! Random Bishie Summon! Winged Bishie Attack! Kamui, I choose you!

Kamui: ::is promptly molested by random passing Fuuma::

Kikazaru: Darn it...

Mizaru: Ha! It never works!

Iwazaru: But it looked nice...

Mizaru & Kikazaru: ::nods:: This is true.

Disclaimer-

Mizaru: As previously stated, we do not own DB-Z-GT. Also, Kikazaru does not own X/1999.

Kikazaru: ::pouts:: I don't?

Mizaru: No, you don't.

Kikazaru: Awww...

Chapter Two

"Gohan!" Chi-Chi yelled down the hall, juggling a plate overflowing with breakfast and a hot frying pan. "Hurry up! If you're late for school one more time...!"

"Coming!" Gohan cried, and a moment later rushed out of his room, mostly dressed. "Thanks for breakfast, mom!" he said reflexively, hopping up and down on one foot to get his socks on with one hand and tilting the plate towards his mouth with the other.

"Be careful on your way," Chi-Chi warned, handing him his shoes, "and don't forget to ask that Videl girl out!"

"Mom!" Gohan blushed hotly, gathering his things. "We're not like that! We're just friends!"

Chi-Chi glared at him. "I don't care! She's your best chance at giving me grandchildren!"

Gohan grinned at her feebly as he ducked for the door. "But, mom, you're way too young to be a grandmother."

Predictably, Chi-Chi's ranting stopped as she blushed and preened under his compliment. "Oh, Gohan...you're such a good son! Go on now, have fun at school with your little friends!"

"I'm off, then!" Gohan called from the air.

Just then, the phone rang, drawing Chi-Chi out of her thoughtful daze. Curious, she abandoned her cooking and went over to the vid-line. She hardly ever received any calls anymore...

"Chi-Chi! You won't believe what I've found!" Bulma crowed as soon as Chi-Chi answered the phone.

"Good morning to you, too, Bulma," Chi-Chi said pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah," Bulma dismissed propriety hastily. "Good morning and all that." She grinned widely and held up a small disk. "This is it, Chi-Chi! The answer to all of our Saiyan problems!"

"What are you talking about, Bulma?" Chi-Chi demanded. "What is that thing? A new invention?"

"No. Dad found this when he was modifying Vegeta's ship," Bulma said excitedly. "It's a whole bunch of files on Saiyan history and their charts to take over other planets!"

"And that helps us how?" Chi-Chi replied. "Bulma, dear, I thought we were trying to get our husbands to stop fighting, not spread their fighting to other planets."

Bulma smirked. "Of course we are, Chi-Chi. And what better way to get them to stop fighting than distract them with—"

Bulma broke off suddenly, looking behind her warily. She turned back to Chi-Chi, keeping her voice low this time. "Listen, I can't talk about this here, where Vegeta might overhear. Where's Goku?"

Chi-Chi cast an annoyed look out her kitchen window. "Where else? Training in the woods. Probably with that giant green monster."

"Excellent!" Bulma smiled. "I'll be over there in thirty minutes. You won't believe it when I tell you!"

Chi-Chi was still skeptical. "It can't really be that great, can it?"

Bulma smiled slowly. "I've just got one word for you, Chi-Chi, 'grandchildren'."

"I'll put the tea on. I will expect you within the hour, Bulma."

"See you soon, Chi!" Bulma laughed, then hung up.

Chi-Chi busied herself with cleaning up, humming to herself cheerfully. She couldn't wait until Bulma got here and explained herself! What could that blue-haired genius of a girl have found in the Saiyan's history that would both get their husbands to stop fighting and give her grandchildren?

It wasn't long before Chi-Chi had Bulma sitting once again at the kitchen table.

"Alright, Bulma," Chi-Chi said, setting down the two steaming cups. "I want an explanation. What's going on?"

Bulma grinned widely and produced a portable console, loading up the mating file. "Read this, Chi-Chi, and everything will become clear."

Chi-Chi eyed her suspiciously, but turned to the monitor just the same. Her eyes widened slowly, then her mouth dropped open. A light blush stained her cheeks by the time she had finished, and she turned to Bulma in awe.

"Is this even possible?" Chi-Chi breathed. "Saiyans can really...do that?"

Bulma nodded. "I bullied Vegeta into letting me harvest a few blood samples this morning. I told him it was for an upgrade on the Regeneration Tank. It's true." She tapped the monitor. "Saiyan males have the dormant genes to carry children. And if this information is accurate, the full moon holds the key to awakening those genes."

Chi-Chi frowned at the computer, confused. "How does this help us?"

"If we can't get them to be friends, Chi-Chi, then we need to go one step further. You know how much Goku calmed down when you two married. Vegeta was the same."

"You want them to get married?!" Chi-Chi screeched, standing in protest. "To each other?"

Bulma eyed the older woman warily. "In...a manner of speaking. From what I've read about Sayian culture, there's marriage and there's mating. Besides, Vegeta told me once that they don't hold to monogamy the way we do."

"But..."

"And if Goku got pregnant," Bulma pushed, "you would have another kid to raise, not to mention twice chances for grandchildren."

"Hm." Chi-Chi sat down again, frowning thoughtfully. "I do love having children." She sent Bulma a sly look. "Even more so when I am not the one having them!"

Bulma cackled. "Too true, Chi! So, we agree, then? The best way to get our men to stop their senseless bickering is to mate them!"

Chi-Chi nodded carefully. "But...how? I assume you do have a plan to make this work, Bulma."

"Of course I do! Who do you think you're talking to?" Bulma laughed. "Look, right here it says that the full moon triggers the mating urges for those who have control over their Oozaru transformations."

"But we don't have a moon anymore, Bulma," Chi-Chi said.

"Ah! But we do have those seven little miracle balls," Bulma grinned. "We can wish back the moon and that they wouldn't be able to transform into those big monkey things." She held up a finger as she made her point. "The tricky part will be how to get the Dragon Balls without Vegeta or Goku getting suspicious."

Chi-Chi nodded. "That's true. We can't very well disappear for however long it will take."

"We need someone trustworthy," Bulma said. "Someone who doesn't talk to too many people. Someone who could gather the balls super fast. Someone..."

"Hey, Chi-Chi!" Goku called from the doorway, Piccolo just behind him. "Are there any snacks around? Piccolo and I just finished sparring and I'm super hungry!"

Chi-Chi and Bulma turned to each other, inspiration striking them, before turning back to smile satisfactorily at the large green man.

Piccolo shivered violently under the predatory looks the two human women were giving him and suddenly felt the need to be away from there. "Ah...you know, Goku... snacks are overrated. I think I will return to my meditations."

"Nonsense!" Chi-Chi snapped, halting the Namekian's retreat immediately. "Goku! Go gather some wood for tonight! You, giant green man, come here and sit down."

Sweat trailed down Piccolo's back as he looked from Goku's wife to Vegeta's wife. They smiled at him cheerfully, and he was suddenly hit with a premonition of inescapable doom.

He grabbed Goku's shoulder as the kind man went to leave. "Don't...take too long, Goku," he said warily.

Goku grinned. "Don't worry, Piccolo! I think Chi-Chi's starting to warm up to you! I'll be back in two seconds!"

And with that, the cheerful man vanished, leaving Piccolo alone with the two smiling women.

"We don't have much time," Chi-Chi warned. "Goku only takes about five minutes to split up a tree and get it all here."

Bulma nodded shortly and turned her attention on Piccolo. "Alright, Piccolo, we need your help."

"I figured as much," he said dryly. "What are you planning?"

"We're tired of our husbands fighting," Chi-Chi stated. "We've found a way to stop it, and you are going to help us achieve our goal."

"That's it? Just get Goku and Vegeta to stop fighting so much?"

Bulma nodded. "Good. So you agree that this is a good idea?"

"They're Saiyan," he said flatly. "You can't tell a Saiyan to stop fighting completely."

"Well, of course there's going to be...tiffs every now and then," Bulma said.

Chi-Chi nodded. "After all, one cannot expect a perfect life together."

"And what is it you want me to do?" Piccolo asked.

"Gather the Dragon Balls," Bulma replied promptly. "We need to make a few wishes."

Piccolo sighed. He could see this ending very, very badly, with no way to fix it before a year's time. Still...it would be nice to get some peace and quiet after so long...

"Very well," he agreed reluctantly. "I will contact you in a day from Dende's Lookout."

Bulma cheered. "And so quick, too!" She pulled out her trusty old radar and handed it to him as they ushered him to the door. "And remember, Piccolo. Don't you dare tell Vegeta or Goku about this!"

"About what?" Goku asked, setting down the last of his load of wood against the house.

Bulma froze, her eyes darting to Chi-Chi. The dark-haired woman sighed.

"Goku..." she said, getting his attention. "Food."

Goku's eyes went wide with excitement. "Oh! Chi-Chi, can I have some dumplings? Oh! Pork-steamed rice! And fried fish, and..."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bulma," Chi-Chi said dryly, leading the way inside.

"Yeah, bye Bulma," Goku said distractedly, following his wife eagerly. "Chi-Chi, what about—"

There was a frustrated growl just before Goku yelped and Bulma absently stepped out of the way of an old, battered rolling pin that hurtled through the doorway.

Ending A/N-

Iwazaru: I'm tired. Can I sleep yet?

Mizaru: No! Back to work, slave!

Iwazaru: Aww...but I'm tired!

Kikazaru: Too bad! ::stuffs a senzu bean down Iwazaru's throat::

Mizaru: ::cackles maniacally::

Iwazaru: k'so...I don't want this new wave of energy...I want to sleep...

Mizaru: So, tune in next month for chapter three—

Iwazaru: It won't take that long!

Kikazaru: It will probably take longer.

Iwazaru: Urusai ne! It's not all my fault you know! ::glares pointedly at her two muses::

Mizaru: Well, we're blaming you.

Iwazaru: ...::sighs::

Mizaru: Besides, I edit promptly.

Iwazaru: ::glances over to the side:: Kikazaru, are you going to put them back?

Kikazaru: ::looks over to Fuuma and Kamui:: But they're so pretty!

Fuuma: ::grins and leers at Kamui::

Kikazaru: You know, speaking of kitchen utensils—

Iwazaru: No! Delete! Author's Special Attack – Rejected!