Notes: Thanks for all the feedback on that last chapter.After this chapter I'm thinking there will probably be about two more.

Ch 26: Little Progress

Ultimately, it was neither Teal'c's stoic guarding outside the door nor Janet ordering everyone who didn't need to be on the floor to stay away that kept the rest of the SGC from turning up to find out if a) Jack and Sam were back, b) they were their Jack and Sam, and c) they were somehow married and in the middle of having a baby.

It was the loud, colorful swearing periodically travelling down the hallway that did it. Sam was cursing up a storm with each contraction as they gradually got worse. Daniel frequently raised both eyebrows at her language while Teal'c only raised one, and Jack kept apologizing to the baby for 'Mommy's potty mouth.'

Janet had made the mistake of laughing at that only once. The look Sam had shot her shut her up quickly.

Sam had been in labor at the SGC for four very long hours, and little progress had been made. She was starting to get frustrated, and the rest of SG1 knew it. Janet marvelled at how patient Sam was being. All three men were fussing and hovering around her, constantly wiping her face with a cool cloth and offering her ice chips. She looked positively smothered and about ready to strangle the next guy who was within reach.

"Guys, give her a little room to breathe," Janet warned for what felt like the thousandth time. Jack and Daniel were both on the raised bed with her and Teal'c was looming over it, wiping her brow every other second. Janet was concerned that Sam was about to snap.

Jack's forearm was already covered with tiny little half-moon shaped bruises, four to a row, from Sam's fingernails as she squeezed his arm, and that damage had been inflicted unintentionally. Who knew what would happen when she suddenly didn't want that many people hanging on her every breath.

"It's so hot in here," Sam moaned.

Jack looked to Teal'c, who nodded and said, "I will get Sergeant Siler to adjust the temperature on this level."

"Siler's in the infirmary, find that other guy," Jack called as Teal'c yanked the door open.

"Consider it done, O'Neill," Teal'c said, leaving quickly.

Jack pulled Sam's hair, which just brushed her shoulders now, up off the nape of her neck and pressed the towel there. "That's better," Sam said gratefully.

Jack nodded and turned to Daniel. "Check that bag for one of those hair things," he demanded in the same tone he used to order C4 in the field.

Daniel scrambled for the bag, shoving things aside and pulling things out until he found an elastic, which he passed to Jack, who gathered Sam's hair up into a messy ponytail while she twisted the fabric of his tee-shirt in her hand as another contraction hit.

Daniel, in the meantime, had found the book they had brought, the one they both thought was the best about delivery. Physically incapable of holding a book in his hands without reading it, he started flipping through it as Teal'c returned.

"Sam, I'm going to go call Cassie and let her know you guys are back, okay?" Janet said.

Sam nodded. Jack looked at her like she was crazy. "I'll be right back, Colonel," Janet assured him. "It's better to do this kind of stuff now, believe me. We still have lots of time."

"Great," Sam muttered quietly as Janet left.

Daniel, skimming the book quickly, said, "Hey, this stuff about dimming the lights and focusing and all sounds like kel-no-reem. Teal'c, if you could teach it to Sam maybe it wouldn't hurt so much."

"That's ridiculous," Jack snapped.

"You've done it before, Jack," Daniel reminded him. "So have I."

"I will go get my candles," Teal'c said, disappearing again.

"Can't hurt to try," Sam gasped.

Teal'c returned with his arms full of candles. He and Daniel quickly placed them around the room, lit them all, and turned off the overhead lights. While Daniel shrunk against a wall and continued to read the book, Jack sat back down on the bed and Teal'c sat at the foot, legs crossed, facing Sam.

"Major Carter, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and try to clear your mind," he instructed, demonstrating.

Sam tried hard, but she couldn't do it. She did start to feel a little relaxed for a while, but really thought that was more due to Jack rubbing her shoulders than kel-no-reem.

"This isn't working," she finally said, getting frustrated.

"Relax your mind. Focus on nothing, or focus on one thing in particular."

"Sorry, Teal'c, I'm finding that a little hard at the moment," Sam said through clenched teeth, grabbing Jack's arms again.

"Breathe, you're okay," Jack muttered, feeling like it was a stupid thing to say.

"Okay, the next thing on this list is listening to music," Daniel quickly supplied, looking to Jack expectantly.

"What, do I look like I brought a bunch of CDs with me!" Jack asked.

"Well, you've got everything else in that bag," Daniel said reasonably.

"We don't have..." Sam gasped. "Any music."

She screamed again and swore loudly, which prompted Jack, inexplicably, to launch into a loud rendition of "Row, row, row your boat." Jack looked at Daniel and Teal'c, who immediately joined in.

So it was that when Dr. Fraiser returned from her brief absence, the room had been darkened and lit by what looked like every candle in Colorado, and the three men of SG1 were trying to drown out Sam's loud cursing with even louder choruses of the song she had caught all four of them singing years ago under an alien influence.

Thinking how very strange all of their lives were, she turned on the lights, which made everyone freeze and look at her. She looked at them all, patiently waiting for an explanation.

"It made sense at the time," Jack offered finally.

"Teal'c, Daniel, blow out those candles before you set off the sprinklers," Janet instructed. They quickly complied, while Janet checked Sam again.

"Almost there?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Sorry, sweetie, no," Janet said with a small smile.

Sam nodded grimly and turned to Jack. "Keep singing."

"Huh?"

"Sing something else. It's distracting."

Jack racked his brain and the first song that came into his head was from the last movie all of SG1 had watched together, on a team night with Cassie and Janet. It had been Cassie's pick. "It's the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiife..."

"AND IT MOVES US AAAAAAAAAAAALL!" Daniel and Teal'c joined in.

"You're all insane," Janet muttered to herself as they kept singing.

Thor and General Hammond appeared in the doorway but nobody stopped singing. Janet went into the hall with the two to update them. The terrible singing could be heard through the closed door.

"Well, it's slightly better than the reports I was getting about Major Carter's colorful language," Hammond said finally.

"Sir, remember when you asked me if I thought the members of SG1 were entirely sane?" Janet asked.

"Changing your mind, doctor?" Hammond guessed.

"Yes sir."

"What of Major Carter?" Thor prompted.

"She's okay, but this is going very slowly. It's difficult to say, but at this point I would estimate around thirty hours, total. And we've only been at it about five."

"I see."

"Everything is going just fine though, although she says she was awake and having mild contractions regularly for about two hours at the cabin so..."

The singing stopped abruptly and a second later, the door was flung open and a very terrified looking Jack O'Neill yanked the doctor inside and slammed the door.

Hammond and Thor looked at each other in concern and Teal'c and Daniel soon emerged. "Major Carter's water has broken," Teal'c informed them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, Sam, let's check you again."

Hours into it, Sam had long since stopped caring if Teal'c and Daniel were in the room or not. Both had quickly become used to finding other things in the room to do while Janet checked on Sam's progress.

"Four centimeters," Janet said, intending it to be encouraging.

"FOUR!" Sam gasped, looking down at her stomach. "HURRY UP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF ME!" she ordered.

"Sam do you want some more ice chips?" Daniel offered, holding the cup out to her.

"Yeah, the ice chips are a huge help!" Sam exclaimed sarcastically.

"Throw one," Jack suggested.

"What?"

"It might make you feel better," he suggested with a shrug.

Sam scooped a few ice chips out of the cup and experimentally threw them across the room as hard as she could. "Hey, that was kind of fun," she admitted.

Jack reached into the cup, grabbed some, and threw them at Daniel.

"Hey!" Daniel objected. Sam hit him with a full handful. "Sam!" he exclaimed, surprised.

"Sorry, Daniel but this is actually helping," Sam called, hurling the entire contents of the cup at him.

"Nice," Jack encouraged, producing another full cup from the tray Janet was suddenly seriously regretting bringing in. Jack grabbed his own cup of ice chips and threw one at Teal'c. "Don't be left out, buddy, come on!"

Soon all three men were throwing ice chips at each other, and Sam was pelting all three of them as hard as she could.

"Okay, that's enough!" Janet had to order when Daniel slipped on some melted ice and crashed into the rolling tray table the ice was on in the first place. He fell to the ground with all the remaining ice falling on top of him.

"Daniel, are you okay?" Sam demanded as Teal'c pulled him to his feet and started brushing ice off of him.

"I'm fine!" Daniel insisted, clinging to Teal'c's shoulders for balance as he slipped on melting ice cubes.

"Okay, everyone freeze!" Janet ordered. Once she had everyone's attention, she turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "I need you both to do something else to help Sam, okay?"

"What?" they both asked.

"Go to my house and get Cassie. She's got a car-load full of baby stuff and when I let her know Sam was in labor she flat out told me that if someone didn't bring her up here, heads were going to roll."

Janet and Sam both looked at Jack, who held his hands up. "Why do I always get blamed for Cassie's mean streak?" he asked half-heartedly.

"Janet it's not that we don't want Cassie up here too but can't you send someone else to get her?" Daniel practically whined.

"No," Janet said firmly. "Believe me you won't miss much. It's an order. They won't let Cassie on the base without someone with clearance. Go. Both of you."

Teal'c squeezed Jack and Sam's shoulders in farewell, while Daniel dropped a kiss on the top of Sam's head. When he turned to Jack, Jack warned, "Don't even think about it, Spacemonkey."

"Yeah, you wish," Daniel said, following Teal'c out the door reluctantly.

"Okay. Now that some of the insanity is over," Janet said, taking a deep breath. "I think I'll leave you two along for a little while. I'll be just down the hall checking on everything in the infirmary if you need me."

"Thanks Doc," Jack said quietly as she scribbled something on Sam's chart and headed to the door.

"Thanks, Jan."

She smiled at them both and left, leaving Jack and Sam alone for the first time since they had been sent back to the SGC.

"What's it like now?" Jack asked. They were hip to hip on the raised bed, Jack leaning over her with his hand propped up on the mattress so he could face her.

"About like the pain stick now," she admitted. She knew he didn't want to hear she was in pain, but she also knew he would feel a little better if she could describe it somewhat, and the pain stick was something that he could register.

"You're doing so amazing, Sam."

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" he asked, taking her hand lightly. It was nice to be able to hold it without her squeezing it so hard that he was surprised not to hear his bones cracking.

"That I didn't tell you I suspected about the time dilation."

"Nah, I'm not mad." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "Although, if I had known I probably would have understood better, why you were okay with it all. Hey, where'd you get my ring?"

"I asked Thor to get it. With my..." She scrunched her face again and squeezed his hand, and this time he was positive she was bruising bones.

"Do I need to get Janet..."

"No," she gritted out.

"Okay, breathe. It looks like it's almost over," he said after glancing over at the monitor.

Sam let out a breath and sighed. "With my dress," she continued wearily. "Janet must have picked it out when she got my dress. Why, do you not like it?"

"No, I love it, I just hadn't thought about where it came from and it was one of the first things Daniel asked me about. Do you want anything?"

"Yeah, I want this to be over."

"I know," he said quietly. "I wish I could make it go faster. Looks like the baby inherited patience from Uncle Teal'c."

Sam laughed tiredly and said, "Well it's certainly not from you."

"Hey," he objected mildly. "I can't help it if I was using up all my patience on our whole... situation... all those years."

"Does that mean that now you'll actually be able to sit through a briefing without looking like you're about to jump up and run out of the room?"

"I don't know, I guess we'll have to see, won't we?" He pulled her up into a careful hug, rubbing her back in big circles. "Hey, if I kiss you are you going to pull a Hannibal Lecter and bite my face off?"

"Should be a while before the next contraction," she said reasonably.

He pretended to be weighing the risk. She rolled her eyes. "The longer you wait, the less I can guarantee..."

He laughed once and kissed her gently, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Best idea all day," she said with a smile, kissing him back. He smiled and pulled her in closer, trying not to lean into her stomach too much. Yeah, she might bite off his tongue if another contraction hit. At the moment, he was willing to take the risk.

They were so wrapped up in each other that Sam didn't even hear the door open again. Jack registered it at the back of his mind, but, assuming it was just Janet coming back, he ignored it.

The man who had just walked in the door stared in shock at the sight before him for several long moments. Finally, he demanded, "Jack O'Neill, get the hell off my daughter!"