Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ characters. They are all Akira Toriyama's work; I know this because I spoke to him on MSN. He wanted to cyber. It was scary.
----------Cell: Master of Insanity----------
Deep, deep in the bowels of Hell. The villains of the past were up to all sorts of evil schemes, they knew that one day they would escape. And when they did, oh god were they going to mess up the physical world.
"Oh Zarbon!" Jeice called out to the green alien. "Your cookies are ready!"
"....No"
"Oh come on Cell, you know you enjoy the cookies!"
"Don't make me go into GT form and absorb you!" The android snapped back. "One of these days I'll get my revenge on Gohan, just you wait!"
"How? You haven't increased in power since you got here 6 years ago." Jeice pointed out.
Cell crossed his arms. "I'm just waiting for that Zenkai to kick in."
"Uh..." Jeice began "You don't get a Zenkai if you die."
"What!? Seriously?" Cell looked up "Hmm. I see you're knowledgeable. LET ME ABSORB YOU!!"
Jeice coiled in terror as a massive tail burst out of Cell's back and went straight for the alien with a bizarre Australian accent, to prove this. Jeice screamed out "Crickey!""HAHAHA!" Cell laughed. "I absorbed you; now I'm the strongest form of Cell! No more message topics about if I can beat Dabura!""You just absorbed a rock" Zarbon pointed out.
Frieza decided to join in the conversation. "Why Cell! I always knew you rocked! GET IT... GET IT!?!?!"
"Oh Frieza!" Zarbon laughed his laugh. "You should make a movie!"
"No!" Jeice slapped his hand over Zarbon's mouth. "Never encourage him!"
"Maybe I will Zarbon... Maybe I will" Frieza stroked his chin.
----
Vegeta decided to have a change of pace when it came to training today, and went into the gravity chamber. He knew the only way he could beat Kakarot was to train for 7 years straight, then he'd become to prince of all Saiyans once again!
"Take this Kakarot!" He punched into the air. "Oh Kakarot! You were smart to dodge that punch. FINAL FLASH!"
The gravity machine exploded as Vegeta took to the sky. "No Vegeta, you've gone to far this time! Don't blow up the Earth, you'll hurt my best friend, Krillin!"
Trunks and Bulma ran outside to see what the problem was. At this point Vegeta was screaming obscenities and trying to perform the Kaioken and Kamehameha. "Why isn't it working? Oh, I know. BURNING ATTACK!! Take that Mecha-Frieza!"
"What's with Dad?" Trunks asked his mother.
"Who are you?" Bulma looked down at the child oddly.
"I'm Trunks. Your son"
"Noooo" Bulma crossed her arms. "I wouldn't have a kid this annoying!"
Trunks ran off crying as Vegeta slammed himself into the ground headfirst. "Clever move Frieza! But I fused with Nail, so I'm stronger than you! NO! DON'T TRANSFORM!"
----
Cell paced around Hell, trying to think of a way out. He already tried sending mass hordes of Ninja Viking Elves to find an exit, but Brolly crushed them. He liked crushing things. He also liked Goku, crushing Goku. Being able to crush Goku, that is.
"I'll get out of this place!" The android told himself. "I know it!"
Cell's concentration was ruined by a massive siren going off and Jeice flying over head.
"What's going on?" Frieza looked around. "Time for an orgy? FINALLY!"
"I have no idea" King Cold swirled his wineglass.
"Brolly has escaped!" Jeice called out. "Run, run! Or you'll be well done!"
"KAKAROTTO!!" Brolly burst out of a massive rock. He only had one thing on his mind. Crushing Goku. "KAKAROTTO!!"
"No, I am Raditz, Kakarot's brother." The Saiyan spoke out to the beast.
"KAKAROTTO!!"
"My word he's mad!" Lord Slug pointed out before running.
"KAKAROTTO!!"
"I am Turles, though I certainly look like him..." The Saiyan took a few moments to contemplate this. "Oh crumbs."
"BROLLY CRUSH TINY MAN!" The Super Saiyan picked Turles up and used him to smack Frieza over the head. Cell decided it was best to just avoid this, though he could kill Brolly in an instant, it was more fun having him crush everyone. After a tiny bit of walking around, in which Cell saw a couple of birds and a cowboy. The android came across a massive door of some sort.
"What is this?" Cell questioned the door, although that was a silly thing to do, as doors are inable to talk and all that.
"That?" King Cold explained, swirling his wineglass. "That leads to a Plot Device that can take any soul back to Earth."
"And why haven't I heard of it... wait, scratch that. Why hasn't anyone used it?" Cell asked.
"Because the door knob is cold" King Cold cried to himself. Soon he was going to lock himself in the shower, listen to Linkin Park and write poetry. Cell decided that his brain was worth saving and entered the door. Ending up at King Yemma's desk.
----
Gohan and Goten were busy sparring up in the mountains; the second spawn of Goku had already managed to go Super Saiyan. Not that he knew what that was, after many sleepless nights, he decided to ask his older brother."Hey Gohan!"
"Yes, brother of mine who will never be as strong as me?"
"What?"
"Nothing... What did you want to ask?"
"What's a Super Saiyan?"
Gohan had to think about this for awhile, he didn't really know what a Super Saiyan was himself. So he decided to give Goten the answer that his father told him way back when Cell was destroying the Earth. "Goten, a Super Saiyan is-"
----
Outside Capsule Corp, a massive explosion occurred as Cell was flung into the realm. Now it was time to get his revenge, firstly on Vegeta, for it was he who distracted Cell during the Kamehameha duel. The android decided to don a false moustache and knock on the front door.
"Stupid woman, chaining me to the wall like that" Vegeta sulked as he opened the door, large chunks of the living room wall still attached to his legs. "Hello?"
"Hello good Sir!" Cell said. "Did you know that you're not the master tactician. HA, I SAID IT!" The android laughed insanely then ran away.
"But, I'LL SHOW YOU A GOOD TACTIC, RUSH INTO THINGS!!" Vegeta screamed and slammed his head into a wall, pretty much knocking himself out. He was the prince of all Unconsciousness once more!