Disclaimer: I don't own Marimite, but I own this fic. Onward!

Chapter 3: Innocence and Passion

And it was because of her, my best friend, that I almost killed Shiori.

It was because Youko would attempt to kill me. She would send her minions to follow and attempt to kill us. I grew afraid for Shiori--I didn't want her to die because of me. So one night, while she was asleep, I went to her silently, bringing with me my shinobigatana. I was about to slit her throat.

But I didn't.

I promised her before that I would protect her, but instead it turned out that I was her terminator after all. If she knew this, she wouldn't forgive me. If she didn't, then the gods, who were watching us wouldn't, either. I broke my oath, and my shame is unbearable. If I killed her, that wouldn't make me any different from Youko. If I killed her, I would have deprived her of everything she should have had.

Flashback

One day, we arrived in Tangou, where she was supposed to become a nun. We went inside a chapel, and nobody was inside.

Shiori prayed silently by herself. I noticed Shiori and saw her differently than before. Then she finished.

"What did you pray?" I asked her.

She giggled. I know I wasn't supposed to know, but she told me anyway.

"I prayed that you'll be able to find the answers to your questions real soon, so that you wouldn't be troubled."

"And," she added. "I thanked God for giving you to me. Without you I wouldn't be able to come here safe."

It was only then that I realized how important she was to me. It was actually her who helped me more during my time of need.

I thought that that was the only thing.

I realized, that deep within me, I did not only want her--I needed her so bad that it hurt. But she wanted to become a nun, I thought, and there is no way that she will love someone like me.

Innocence evolves into passion. And the longer I hide it, the more intense it grows.

Soon, as time passed, I told her how I felt.

"I like you too, Sei." Shiori said, and smiled sweetly.

Things changed greatly. The days that followed weren't as dull as before, because Shiori was always with me. It was fun, because being with her is like experiencing freedom, even if it is only temporary. It felt so nice thinking about nothing else, throwing aside thughts of Youko, Shiori's wish of becoming a nun, my Fate and hers--it was like redemption.

Whenever I'm with her, I'm having this sort of feeling that we have already known each other before we have met. I don't know, maybe it's what they call "the past life". Peculiar to say, but maybe during our past life, we've been separated from each other, and maybe, now is the time that we are reunited.

But if it is so, is today really our time? What will I do if we get separated from each other?

Those thoughts saddened me. I told her about it, and she felt sad, too.

"Even if we get separated from each other I will never forget you, Sei." she said.

Why does she reward me certainty despite of my doubt? Why does she let me come close to her, despite of my negligence?

End of flashback

I was still staring at the sky. The stars were spread like pebbles on the ground. I remembered the nights when Youko, some friends, and I would look at them and imagine figures that they seemed to look like.

"A star is impossible to reach, isn't it?" Youko said, her voice was so faint but I could still understand her. "We people would always yearn to reach it, we'd do all sorts of things just to achieve that. What we don't realize is that doing those things are no longer necessary." she paused, coughed out blood, then continued. "What keeps us connected to a star is its shining light. I wonder why some are not aware of it. Humans are so pathetic."

I agree to her. I AM pathetic...thinking about memories as if this would be my last. But I guess this IS my last--my breathing is slowing down, and I could hardly talk.

Maybe if I didn't battle Youko, things wouldn't have come to this. I shouldn't have left Shiori. Now she's all alone, and it is my fault.

Flashback: 60 minutes ago

Youko stood there, her arms crossed as usual. Her face showing ferocity and nobility. Her lips a mysterious light curve on her mouth.

"I'm glad you came, Sei." she said.

"Hm. So am I, Youko." I replied, burying anxiety somewhere within me where it should lay forgotten.

Could this be our final acquaintance? I'm sure she's not just standing there off-guard. But I'm ready--I'm ready whenever she is...

"Why'd you call me?"

Youko's face turned serious. "I wanted you to leave Shiori."

I was surprised. I asked back, "But why?"

"Because she will only hurt you. You know she can't be with you forever because she wanted to be a nun."

That was true, but I didn't want that fact to distract me.

"Look who's talking, Youko! Wasn't it you who hurt me in the first place?"

Youko's eyes could no longer make contact with mine. "It's a different matter, Sei.

"When I saw you were alive, I felt glad, even though it saddens me of the fact that you will never forgive me because of what I did.

But I do not regret, because the incident was fated. I'd rather follow the strands of fate than my clan."

I could no longer manage the anger and hatred I felt inside. It felt like I was going to burst into flames.

"Damn you...Youko." And with that, I attacked her without hesitation.

Youko just stood there, seeming to be calm. I know she's strong enough to parry my attack, or, counterattack me.

But she didn't. I felt relieved, but I felt annoyed.

And then she took her turn. I was a bit surprised, but that didn't stop me from fighting well.

Soon after, there were clashes of blades, punches, kicks, and ofudas. I was able to inflict a slight blow on Youko's left arm, and then she sort of tweaked. But that was her only damage, as compared to me--about several slight cuts on my arms and legs. And then the same procedure went on and on, until we were equally wounded.

I put out a flaming shuriken scroll instead, to save time, though it will cost me lots of energy. It is effective and works 88 percent of the time, however, there is also a chance that it might hit me, if I'm not careful.

On the other hand, Youko took out a healing ofuda to protect herself.

And in a matter of seconds, I have finished chanting and the shurikens came flying out of the scroll. Youko would have been burnt badly if she didn't finish chanting her ofuda. But it made her weak--weak enough to fall on the ground.

Although it seemed that I'm victorious, I wasn't. I did not notice several of Youko's kunai that landed about an inch deep on my skin. I fell on the ground, too.

End of flashback

"Sei." Youko said, trying to put effective utterance into her words.

"...yeah?" I said, catching my breath.

"I'm sorry."

I just fell silent. But I nodded to signal for her to continue.

"I was so obedient that I hurt you, my clan...and myself as well.

I thought that I would still have you even if I made you lose everything.

I obeyed even if I knew that I would lose you."

I turned my head at her. I stared at her in disbelief.

"I liked and loved you so much, Sei. But I never had the chance to tell you. Because we're friends. Because you thought of me as a sister. Because Fate did not want me to...and because it was wrong."

Then, Youko cried. "I'm sorry if I'm this hopeless, Sei."

I know I'm hopeless, too. I'm hopeless because I know I won't be able to see Shiori now...or maybe forever.

Flashback(the day before)

One day, I stopped by that chapel to find Shiori. But I saw someone else by the door. Mizuno Youko.

"I know you want to put and end to this, Sei." She said. "And so do I. Therefore, meet me at that forest by dawn tomorrow." Then she disappeared.

Those information quickly sunk into my mind. Tangou forest, tomorrow dawn.

Suddenly I remember Shiori. I quickly turned my head.

And she was there, safe.

She's kneeling and silent in her prayer, as usual. Her appearance really moved my heart.

But a thought came by my mind.

She wanted to become a nun, that's why we're here in Tangou.

I walked away, farther away from that place. I decided to just stay at the inn.

I sat on my bed, uneasy. At the corner of my eye, I could see Shiori's bed, looking really neat. Just thinking about her possessions makes me feel insecure.

The door opened, and Shiori came. I stayed the same--my legs and body curled like a fetus sitting by the wall.

She closed the door and smiled at me. I blushed, but I kept my cheeks and mouth tucked behind my arms.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

I replied coldly, "Nothing."

"Please tell me, Sei." she said then sat next to me, mimicking my position.

I continued to be speechless, even if Shiori leaned her head on my right shoulder. I just peered at her, but her eyes caught mine. I quickly looked away.

"When you've become a nun, you'll have to leave me, because you're going to move at that convent. And then I'm gonna be alone." I said, not making eye contact with her.

Before Shiori could say anything, I quickly added, "That was sort of childish, wasn't it?" I glanced at her.

Shiori shook her head, smiling. "No, it's not. But..." And then her smile fades.

"I really, really like you, Shiori, that's why I don't want you to go." I replied, feeling that air of childishness in my words. "But I know you can't be with me all your life. You have dreams to pursue, and with that you'll have to sacrifice, right?"

I smiled at her, giving her assurance of my support. Gradually, she does the same, though hers is a bit weaker than mine.

"Thank you, Sei." she said. "But you know, this is the first time I've liked someone so much."

I chuckle. "Really? With so many pursuers of that pretty face you never adored even one?" Well that was a joke. Sort of.

She nodded. "Uh-hum." And with that I leaned my face closer to her.

Our lips touched one another for a long time, and Shiori was holding on my shirt. She seemed nervous because her hands were slightly trembling.

I was a little out of breath, but I still managed to put some weight on her and pin her on the bed. Whilst doing so, I tugged at her obi and removed it slowly.

Then, we parted. Shiori was sort of gasping for breath, but then, she put her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her chest. I felt her strong heartbeat.

We kissed again, and after that I kissed her neck. I could feel her nails, digging like claws into the back of my neck, pulling me down. She wouldn't be able to handle the passion I felt deep inside, so I just stopped because she might get hurt.

"You still want to become a nun, right?" I said calmly. "Then you must pursue your dream. I...I'm sorry if I acted this way.

I won't stop you in your way anymore."

I did a quick charm, and with that I disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

End of flashback