"Hey, it's Specs, I'm obviously not here right now, you can leave me a message or whatever after the beep." Dutchy clicked the phone off and slammed it down on the passenger seat next to him. "Idiot!" he said as he started up the engine. He turned the radio on before driving away. He listened to the usual Beatles, Rolling Stones, Elvis, on the oldies station. He pulled out of the parking space and decided to find Specs. He had been bugging him with his moody behavior lately, and Dutchy wanted to find out what was wrong. He first decided to check his apartment to see if he was in there and just not answering the phone.
He parked in front of the house, fed the parking meter $0.50, and ran up the stairs. He pushed in the digits to open the door and ran up eight floors to Specs' apartment. He took the spare key from his wallet, and opened up the door. The apartment looked as if it was trashed. Empty potato chip bags, and plastic wrappers and more unknown objects covered the floor. Something definitely had to be wrong, Dutchy thought. Specs was one of the neatest people he knew.
He walked in and out of every room in the apartment. Specs was nowhere to be found. He checked all the closets and even cabinets just to be sure Specs wasn't hiding anywhere. He locked the door and walked slowly back down to his car. Nervousness filled his stomach. He hadn't seen Specs lately, and he wasn't showing up to classes or anything, which was not like him at all. Specs was a straight A student, and he loved school. He wouldn't miss it, even if he was dying. Dutchy was scared, and he was determined to find his missing friend.
Once he was in his car, he tried to think of every place Specs would be. Dutchy looked at his watch, 8:58 p.m. He was supposed to be with Dutchy right now. They were going to watch a movie that night, but with Specs nowhere to be found, it made it difficult. Dutchy started up the car and decided to drive down to Golden Gate Park. Specs would sometimes go there to catch a movie or something, and it was where they first met. Actually they first met in their freshman year at college, but they became friends at Golden Gate Park. Specs was from San Francisco, so he knew where all the hot spots were. He told Dutchy to meet him down there so they could catch a late night showing of Singin' in the rain, and they had been friends ever since.
Dutchy drove by slowly, not wanting to get out of the car, looking for Specs. The park wasn't as crowded as it sometimes it usually is, and he didn't see anyone that came close to looking even in the same age range as Specs. Dutchy scowled. "Where the heck could he be?" he said to himself. He drove away, not knowing where to go. Dutchy felt he didn't know where else to look. He pulled over on the side of the road, overlooking the San Francisco Bay. He'd been to his apartment, Golden Gate Park, and he just didn't know where else he could be. He thought about places where Specs had talked about recently, that he may have gone. He talked about going to Krispy Kreme, no, he wouldn't be there. He had also talked about wanting to go on vacation to China, but he wouldn't be there either. Dutchy got out of his car, and hoped the fresh sea air would clear out his mind, and come to a conclusion on where he may be.
He looked across the street at Wal-Mart. Although it was too early for them to be closed, the parking lot was almost deserted. Then it hit him, a deserted parking lot! It's where Specs took him after seeing a movie. Dutchy was confused about why they went to one, but then Specs had told him that he came out here whenever there was moonless nights. Dutchy looked up at the sky. There wasn't a moon. He hurriedly walked to his car and started up the engine. How could he have been so stupid? Specs usually went to the deserted parking lot of the mall on moonless nights so he could look up at the stars, away from all the city lights.
He drove fast, almost 10 miles above the speed limit. Luckily no cop was in sight to give him a speeding ticket. He turned the corner very fast, and his wheels skidded off the road a bit, making a screeching sound. Dutchy didn't know exactly where this mall was, he had only been there twice. Once with his parents when he was about ten, and the other time was with Specs, but it's been a long time. He knew he was close though, he saw a diner, and remembered that's where him and Specs had an early 4:00 a.m. breakfast after a great night of stargazing. He then saw a big building with Macys on it in big red letters. He turned left and into the empty parking lot.
He parked behind Macys so Specs wouldn't see him enter. He turned off the engine, and got out of the car. The crisp air greeted him. He shivered, and crossed his arms across his chest. He forgot his jacket back at his own apartment.
He walked across the parking lot to where he guessed Specs was. He looked around and saw an old rusty car parked in the middle of the lot. That has to be him, he though. No other nutcase would be out here in the middle of December. He walked towards him slowly, trying not to cause too much attention to himself. As he got closer he noticed one of the tires on Specs' car was missing. He continued walking in silence, making his footsteps as quiet as possible.
He finally made it to the car, and saw that Specs was sprawled out on the hood of the car. His hands were behind his head and a big green blanket covered his body. His gaze was fixed on the sky.
"What are you doing here?" Specs said, his eyes remained on the sky. He startled Dutchy.
"I just wanted to look at the stars with you", he lied.
"Dutchy, in all the years I've known you, you hated stargazing, even in your own backyard you told me," he said still not looking at him.
"Yeah, I don't particularly like stargazing much, but just being here, hanging out with you, makes up for it."
Specs turned his head to look at Dutchy. Dutchy smiled at him, but Specs only looked away. "Specs, what's up?" Dutchy asked. "You've been real moody lately, and it's starting to really bug me."
"If I'm bugging you, then why are you here," Specs said. "I'll only bug you more."
"It's not exactly you who is bugging me, it's your attitude. You've been acting like piece of shit lately, and its really pissing me off"
"I just don't feel like doing much right now, is that a crime?" he asked Dutchy.
"No, it isn't a crime, but being so that you can't even tell your own friend what's wrong, that should be a crime. I care about you Specs, more than you know."
"Of course you do, Dutch, I care about you too, but there's just a few things that I can't tell you right now, not without giving it more thought first."
"Ok." Dutchy said. "I guess I'll just leave you here to think about whatever it is you need to think about", he started to walk away, making his sulking as visible as possible, and all his years in drama helped a lot. Specs stared after him. "Wait", he said barely above a whisper, but that was exactly what Dutchy was waiting to hear, so he heard it as if he had yelled it out. He turned around to face Specs.
"What" he said.
"You can stay here, if you want", he said.
"Is that alright with you?" Dutchy asked, knowing he would stay even if it wasn't alright.
"I guess." Specs said.
Dutchy walked over to Specs and propped himself up onto the hood of the car and laid down next to him. Specs moved the blanket over more onto Dutchys' side so he could be covered too. A couple silent minutes passed them by as they stared fixedly at the sky.
"There's the Big Dipper" Specs said, as he pointed to an arrangement of stars above them.
"If that's the Big Dipper, then that must be the Little Dipper" Dutchy said, pointing to another, smaller, arrangement of stars, pretty close to the Big Dipper.
"Yep", Specs said. "So, how'd you find me anyway?"
"Well you could say, this wasn't the first place I looked, but eventually common sense caught up with me, and I remembered you coming out here on moonless nights, and I checked the sky, there was no moon, and so I came here." Dutchy said.
Specs laughed. "Where else did you look?" he asked curiously.
"Your apartment, and Golden Gate Park", Dutchy said.
Specs smiled.
The streetlamp cast a light that reflected off of Specs' glasses onto Dutchys for a just moment. The two boys laughed.
Dutchy sat up, and saw a tire in the distance.
"I'm guessing that's yours?" he pointed to the object.
"Huh!" Specs asked, sitting up. "Oh, yeah. I had a bit of an accident when I got here."
"Yeah, I figured that much." Dutchy said. "Do you want me to fix it for you?"
"That's ok, Dutch, I've seen you do stuff like this to your own car, and you ended up with an oil leak, and four broken tires in less than fifteen minutes."
Dutchy laughed at this. "Good point, my brother was the mechanical gifted one in my family."
Specs smiled again. "Yeah, I remember you telling me about him once, something about how he took a whole car apart, and put it back together in like a week."
"Yeah, and the parts were scattered everywhere around our living room, it drove my mother off the wall."
Specs laughed then started coughing a lot. He put his hand over his mouth and sat up. Dutchy sat up too. "Specs, are you ok?" Dutchy asked him, rubbing his back. Specs nodded, still coughing. After what seemed like a long while, he finally stopped. He made to wipe his hand on his pants but Dutchy grabbed it first. "Why do you have blood on your hands?" he asked. Specs quickly yanked his hand away, and wiped it off. "I cut myself today, I guess the cut opened up again," he said. Dutchy grabbed his hand again, and looked at it.
"I don't see a cut, Specs?" he said. "You weren't coughing that blood up were you?"
Specs didn't respond. "….because my uncle once coughed up blood, because he was dying of a lung problem or something."
He looked at Specs.
"Specs?" he said. "Is something wrong with you? Are you sick?"
"No, nothing like that", he said. "You shouldn't be worried, please, it's nothing."
"It is something" Dutchy said. "I've read articles about this. Specs, you could die if you don't do anything about it!" Dutchy said.
"That's no news for me", he said. He turned to look at Dutchy. His dark chocolate eyes stared into Dutchy's ocean-blue eyes.
"I am dying," he whispered.
"I don't think I understand", Dutchy said. "Y-Y-ou just can't be, Specs. I mean you have to see a doctor, they'll tell you you'll be fine."
"They just can't tell me its all going to be fine, Dutchy. Life doesn't work that way. I'm dying, and that's that, there's no more I or you can do about it."
"Don't talk like that", Dutchy said. "Don't talk like that! It's not over Specs and you know it. Come on, I'm taking you straight to the hospital right now, and their going to give you medication, and you're going to be alright!"
"No Dutchy, I won't. I've already went to the hospital, and to about four different doctors, and they all told me the same news."
"No Specs, No!" Dutchy yelled. "You can't talk like this and just assume your dying, because you can't be, you just can't be." Tears trickled down his cheeks. "Dutchy, look—" Specs said.
"No, you look" Dutchy said. "When were you going to tell me all of this if I hadn't shown up here tonight? Where you just going to die and let me find out all by myself?"
"Dutch—"
"Were you going to make me turn on the news one day, and they found a body of a teenage boy lying on his car, dead, and it happens to be you?" Dutchy said.
"Dutchy!" Specs yelled. "Can you just listen to me for one minute?" Specs asked.
"Why should I? You're just going to die pretty soon, how can I trust you, maybe you're making all of this up, and you want me to commit suicide and then after I die you take all my insurance and---"
Specs kicked Dutchy hard in the shins. Dutchy whimpered in pain.
"Ok, now as long as you're in pain, you will listen" Specs said. "Ok….I only knew about my sickness--- Dutchy will you just shut up and listen to me?"
Dutchy had turned his head and was humming to the tune of All in the Family. "Ivan!" Specs yelled. That caught Dutchy attention. No one ever called him Ivan except for his teachers and parents.
"What is it, Mark" Dutchy shot back.
"Listen to me, please," Specs said. "and if you don't like what you hear you can leave at anytime, but can you, will you, just listen to what I have to say?"
"Fine." Dutchy agreed sourly.
"Ok. As I was saying before, I only knew about my sickness a couple days ago. That's why I was not around. I was in the hospital. I tried calling you at least fifty times, but no one picked up."
"That's impossible, Specs." Dutchy said. "I always have my phone on, and if I'm not there it lists my missed calls, and you weren't one of them."
"That's actually impossible. I spent over $20 on phone bills trying to get a hold of you."
Dutchys forehead creased, as he thought about this. "I don't know", he said. "I don't know why, but none of this seems to make much sense. But that's not the point! What were you going to tell me even if I did get your calls?"
"The truth, obviously. I only have less than a week, Dutch, maybe more if I'm lucky. I wanted you to come down here so we could spend some time together before… before---- well, and you did come, and yeah."
"How much longer do you have?" Dutchy asked quietly.
"Not long."
Dutchy turned his head as his eyes became watery. Specs moved over, and tried to comfort him as best as he could but he was just as afraid as Dutchy was. A cold breeze passed by, and both boys shivered. Specs held Dutchy even closer, using their body heat to warm them up. After awhile, when their body temperatures went up, Specs leaned in and kissed Dutchy on the check.
"What was that for?" Dutchy asked.
"There's something else you don't know, Dutch."
"What?"
"This one, you may not be as understanding about. Well not that you were understanding about the last one, but, this one is probably going to freak you out, and gross you out, and the whole nine yards." Specs said.
"I'm sure I'll handle." Dutchy said.
"Ok," Specs said nervously. "Well, here goes…."
"Well, it's just, I like you, Dutch."
Dutchy stared at him in confusion.
"I don't think I understand."
Specs took a deep breath, he really did not want to explain this to him.
"I like you Dutchy, like really really like you. As in a more-than-a-friend type deal."
A more-than-a-friend type deal? Dutchy still didn't understand. Was Specs coming out? Was he telling him that he was gay? That he liked guys?
"You mean to say, you're umm… yeah, you know, umm…."
"Gay?" Specs finished his sentence.
"Yeah."
"I don't like to consider myself that, bi maybe, but not gay. I don't really like any other guy, but you. I guess its because we're really good friends."
By the look on Dutchys face, Specs expected a big outburst like the last time, but this time, he was quiet. An eerie quiet, that creeped Specs out a bit.
"Dutchy, are did you hear what I said?" he asked cautiously, knowing that Dutchy was pretty violent when he was confused or mad.
"I heard you. I heard you alright." He turned his head to look at Specs. For a moment, Specs thought that Dutchy might punch him, a hard punch, that would knock him out for days. But instead, what Dutchy did, was way beyond Specs' imagination. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Specs' in an awkward first kiss. This startled Specs, but after a few moments, he quickly gave in and returned the kiss. When they pulled apart, they stared into each others eyes, as if lost in another dimension, for hours it seemed.
Specs laid back down and stretched his arm out and Dutchy laid down too, using his arm as a pillow. Specs stroked Dutchys' soft blond hair. Specs looked down at Dutchy.
"Dutchy", he said.
"Yeah?"
"I want you to know something."
"What?"
"I want you to know I'll always love you, as a lover, and best friend. Even if the worst comes to worst, what happens tomorrow will never change the way I feel about you Dutchy. It never will, not the tomorrow after that, or after that."
"I love you too Specs", he said. Specs gave Dutchy, a small kiss on the lips, before drifting off to sleep.
The next morning abanker on his way to work at the mall, parked not far from a car already in the lot. He saw two boys lying on top of it. Those damn bums, he thought, as he made his way over to tell them to beat it. When he got over there, he noticed that one boy didn't have his shirt on, and the other was lying next to him, a bit too close for any straight man. Damn bums, and queers, he thought. He walked over to the blonds' side and shook his shoulders, the boy didn't budge. He then walked over to the other boys' side and shook his shoulders. He didn't wake either. For a moment he figured they must be heavy sleepers, until he reached for the shirtless boys pulse. There was none. This startled the man. He ran to the other boy and tried his too, same thing. No pulse. They were dead. The man panicked and called the hospital right away, then fainted after running into the rear bumper of the car.
4:34 a.m. was the estimated time of death for the boy who the police identified as Mark Davidson.
The other boy, identified as Ivan "Dutchy'Damien died only a matter of minutes later. The cause of his death was unknown.Some believeit would have been the presence of his loved one, gone from this earth, and he too, let the last breath out of his body, around the same time as his lover. But to this day, his death still remains a mystery.
The End