Disclaimer: It was Akira Toriyama in the dining room with the rights to DBZ. I win!

-Cell: Master of Insanity-

The Final Flash flew it's way through the living room of Capsule Corporation and slammed right into the bag. Triggering a massive explosion, which blew up half of the building. Once the rubble had fallen, Vegeta looked in awe as the sack stood behind him.

"What?" Vegeta gasped. "He knows the Instant Transmission!"

"No…" Bulma twitched with anger. "You aimed it the wrong way."

"You blew up my house?" Vegeta screamed at the sack. "Don't touch me! I'm burning with rage!"

"Actually you destroyed the bloody thing!"

"I did?" Vegeta looked blank for a moment. Then he started laughing. "Oh, woman! I think I would remember if I blew up the house. I have a very good memory, you know."

"Oh really? Then who killed Frieza?"

"Gotenks?"

"GAH!"

-

Gohan walked through the streets of Satan City, on his way to High School. When all of a sudden. CELLS! THOUSANDS OF THEM! Appeared out of nowhere.

"The hell?" Gohan leapt into a defensive stance.

"Hahaha!" The Cells laughed in unison. "You might have beaten one of us! But you'll beat a thousand!"

"How did you multiply?.. Wait, you just said I can beat a thousand of you."

"I did? Oh blast!"

"Real smart, Cell."

"Oh shut up, you!" The Cells snapped back. "We are just cheap clones of the original Cell. The only reason we exist is to give you a message!"

"Wait... Cell made a thousand of you, just to relay a message?"

"Yes."

"Am I the only one who sees the problem with that?"

"We have a bloated budget."

"I see… So, what's the message."

One Cell stepped forward with a piece of paper. He was also wearing a monocle. "Ahem. FOOL! GOHAN! MINIUMUS POWER! The mighty CELL is forming a GIGA KAMEHA-MEHA above the planet EARTH. You are timid like a little gentleman. So you can do nothing, son of SUPER GOKU and Chee-chee! Unless you grab 3 rare items from across EARTH!"

"That's the most idiotic message I've ever heard."

"Dr. Gero only gave the original Cell the Dragonball Z: Ultimate Battle 22 manual to learn English from"

"Interesting" Gohan moaned in boredom. "So what are these items?"

"Your father knows. And now, we explode!" The Cells screaming before flying into the air and exploding.

-

"What's this all about?" Tenshinhan set down in confusion.

"Well it seems Puar isn't as good as we originally thought!" Yamcha declared.

"What are you talking about?" Tenshinhan pointed. "Everyone has known that 'Puar' is evil."

"Everyone?"

"Yes, you keep referring to him as Puar, the cunning! While everyone else has known him to be Dr. Apocalypse, reaper of souls!"

"So I was the only one who didn't know?"

"That's what I said."

Yamcha started laughing. "You almost tricked me Tenshinhan, or should I say… TENSHINHAN?"

"Yes, that's my name"

"Oh… Wanna save the world then?"

"But we aren't Saiyans" Tenshinhan pointed out.

"Yes, but they are gone now. So now we can save the day!"

"But we aren't Snipers."

"Or... ARE WE?"

"No, we aren't"

"Oh shut up, Ten!"

-

"Sack!" Vegeta called out. "You can't hide forever! I will find and kill you one of these days!"

"Vegeta! He's gone, shut the hell up already!" Bulma screamed.

"I know he's… THE HELL?" Vegeta looked behind him and the sack appeared with a massive Ki ball inside it. Vegeta knew he had no chance of escaping. "Clever girl!" The sack fired the massive blast and Vegeta was erased from existence.

"How the hell did a sack do that?" Chi-Chi wondered.

"Hello!" Kid Trunks walked into the destroyed room with Goten. "Where's father. He's the best! I know he could never be defeated!"

"Trunks." Bulma sniffed. "He is gone."

"Haha!" Trunks laughed. "To an amateur, it seemed like he was killed. But we all know he used his teleporting ability to escape."

"No Trunks" Goten poked the Saiyan. "That's my father."

"Oh! Then who's mine?"

"Vegeta."

"THAT'S MY FATHER? OH, GOD DAMN IT!" Trunks punched the floor in anger.

-

"Quiet on the set!" Frieza called out.

"You're not going to get me this time, take-marker!" Cooler giggled as he surrounded himself in titanium armour. "And action…OH GOD! IT GOT MY EYE! HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN?"

"Great morning isn't it, Dodoria?" Zarbon walked onto the set. "Dodoria?"

"Sorry, Zarbon" Frieza interrupted. "Dodoria is missing, so we replaced him with a twenty story tall homicidal Behemoth with Berserk casted on it."

"You're kidding right?" Zarbon spun around, seeing the Behemoth inches from his face. "Oh, son of a b—"

The Behemoth then closed its jaws.

-

"Oh, Sharpener!" Eraser hugged the boy. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I don't know. My Duodena was like an extension of myself."

"Do you even know what the hell it is?" Videl asked.

"Of course I do!" Sharpener scoffed "I wouldn't be able to breathe otherwise."

"But if it exploded—"

"Oh god!" Sharpener leapt out of the bed. "I CAN'T BREATHE! What if I'm a zombie? They can't just go around saying 'Want some brains Sharpener?' nor 'Would you like some crumpets, Fillips?' My name isn't Fillips you know, that would lead to mass confusion! The universe would crumble! Think of it! Think of it, damn you!" Sharpener started shaking Eraser like mad.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Videl slapped the boy.

"No, go away!" Sharper pushed the two girls' aside. "Go! Before I turn into a zombie."

"But you're not.."

"JUST GO! I can already feel the a weird feeling inside me!"

"That's because your bloody Duodena exploded!" Videl screamed, pushing Sharpener back into his bed. "Now shut the hell up!"

"Yes'm" Sharpener sniffed as Videl walked out of the room. "Oh Eraser?"

"Yes?"

"Come closer."

"What is it?"

"BRAINS!"

"AIEEEEEEE!"