Disclaimer: The rights to DBZ have been kidnapped by Akira Toriyama, are you a bad enough dude to rescue the rights?
-Cell: Master of Insanity-
"Now, son!" Goku pointed at Gohan. "These are the giga-important items you will need!"
"I'm listening!"
"Four to five hundred bagels…"
"Okay, now I'm not." Gohan glared at his father and walked away.
"Wait! Come back! I'm Goku! I need food for comedic scenes, which show that I eat more than a normal person! It's hilarious!"
"No it's not. Bye."
"No… my precious!"
-
Down in Hell, people started quickly walking out of the cinema, discussing all sorts of random topics. Frieza sat on the floor in depression. He hadn't been this depressed since the time he found out that Zarbon was a man, baby!
"Why did they hate my movie?"
"It's probably because of Vegeta. He ruins everything." Dodoria answered.
"Explain!" Frieza raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Well, you remember that time Vegeta attacked Cell, only for it not to work and Gohan had to jump in the road. Costing his arm?"
"No. None of us were ther—"
"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!"
"But—"
"I AM DODORIA! LOOK AT MY BELLY! IT'S THE BELLY…. OF TRUTH!"
"Um." Frieza looked at his henchman in horror. "I'm going to go change subject now. Cooler!"
"What?"
"Why the hell haven't you left?"
"I'm rusted. You son of a bitch… Wait. Damn it!" Cooler cursed at himself.
"Well un-rust yourself!" Frieza poked his brother in the head.
"I can't, I'll need four to five hundred bagels to do that!"
"Goku should have been back with them by now!" Frieze mumbled. "Oh well, me and Dodoria will have to get them ourselves!"
-
"Hey Videl!" Gohan walked up to the wench.
"What is it Gohan? Or should I say… GREAT SOY-MAN!"
"Soy-man?"
"Don't try to hide it!" Videl screamed "I HAVE CAMERAS, YOU KNOW!"
"I'm sure you do, crazy-lady." Gohan mumbled. "Anyway! Videl!"
"What is it Gohan? Or should I say… GREET SAIYA-JIN!"
"Is that all you can say?"
"What is it Goha—"
"Okay, I'm leaving now."
"No wait! I need answers! It's my role for this saga to get answers from you in comical ways!"
"Don't care. Leaving!"
"No…" Videl sunk to her knees and Goku came crawling up beside her. In unison they both muttered. "Precious…."
-
"Haha!" Vegeta laughed as he punched air. "I am training to become the strongest in the universe! Just you wait Sack! And you, Kakarot! I will defeat you all. For I will become powerful, SO POWERFUL I will become it will be just silly! Damn you Kakarot! For being better than me, but that will change. OH YES! THAT WILL CHANGE! I will show you the meaning of defeat. I am the horse and the line.. and.. something. I said it in GT and it was lame. Damn it… hair… gold… I will defeat you all. Damn it arm, stop twitching! No… defeat… KAKAROT… mumbeeds… sadasads… No! I will become the strongest ever. Like Frieza, only people got stronger than him, oh damn it… mufmdf… sadasd.. STOP LOOKING AT MY HAIR!"
He's lost it.
I agree. Say? Wanna send another fighter down?
Who?
Him!
Oh yes… Him!
-
"What happened here, citizen?" Piccolo stood above a destroyed car as the passengers scrambled out."
"The driver…" A woman began "He slammed into that wall of text just before."
"Ah! Dangerous things those!" Piccolo scratched his chin.
"WHAT?"
"He said the wall of text was dangerous, Guru!" Nail screamed in the elder's ear.
"WHAT?"
"Oh for God's sake."
"I have no sake!" Dende pointed at Nail. "What are you accusing me of? Huh? Huh!"
"This group sucks." Nail sighed as he looked over to see Yamcha, Tenshinhan and Chouzu walking around and helping children across the street."
"Good job, Ten!" Yamcha congratulated his friend.
"Yes, capital work, old sport!" Chouzu added.
"Wish we didn't lose that stupid contest…" Nail sighed.
"I let people know when it's time to walk." Green-light man said with a disturbingly large grin on his face. "Geeheehee!"
-
"Okay. This is just getting annoying." Gohan spun around to see three quarters of the planet following him screaming precious… "Now listen you freaky people! I have to save the Earth from Cell. I can't be bothered with you people!"
Precious…"Okay. That's it! I can only say one thing to you people!" Gohan snapped. "… ( '.') "
The crowd of disturbed people gasped in shock and ran away as quickly as they could.
"Well I didn't expect that." Gohan chuckled to himself, before someone tapped him on the shoulder.
"We are detectives #17 and #18. We heard a report of a class F-5 Vulgarity around here." The two figures said.
"Uh… I did that." Gohan looked at them oddly.
"Come with us, son." #17 lead the Saiyan to a police car. "We would like to have a word with you."
"THE WORD IS 'PINEAPPLE!'" #18 screamed out with a goofy grin.
"Don't do that." #17 replied stoically.
"Sorry."
-
"Okay, Dodoria. We are here." Frieza pointed towards a pub door. "Surely these horrible people will have an anti-rust chemical."
"But they could be mean" Dodoria sniffed.
"Don't worry. Act natural!" Frieza whispered as he walked into the bar. "Well, I say chaps! Would any of you have a spot of ant-rusting formula we could use on my mechanized sibling?"
"It's beer… or GET OUT!" Garlic Jr. snorted.
"You dare insult me, you philistine!" Frieza looked quizzically.
"BEER OR OUT! YOU BUM!"
"Oh, that does it!" Frieza closed in on Garlic's face. "I'M TELLING THE QUEEN!"
And with that he marched out.
-
"What do we do now?" Bulma screamed as the sack fell to the ground.
"I know. I'll attack it!" Trunks giggled and attacked the sack.
"Trunks! No!" Goten screamed, but it was too late. The sack has already devoured the poor child.
"Oh well." Bulma shrugged. "No loss. Oh crap! The sack is coming towards us!"
As the sack advanced, obviously ready to attack, a mysterious figure appeared and kicked it into the side of Capsule Corp. As the figure stood before the group. The sack spoke for the first time. "It's you!"