Disclaimer: Akira Toriyama was shot by federal agents when he went insane and killed seventy-three people, his weapon of choice was the Right to DBZ. He will be missed.

Cell: Master of Insanity-

Kibito and the Sack flew high above the streets of West City. Every time one got a hit on the other, it would send out a massive

wave of energy. It seemed that the entire planet was about to give way under their power.

"How can they keep it up?" Trunks asked in awe.

"Going by my calculations." Bulma poked away at her machine. "This fight will end in seventy episodes, where Frieza ends up dying and Namek explodes."

"A joke about how Dragonball Z fights last a while? You madam, are a genius! How do you come up with such things?"

"Trunks?" Bulma glared down at her son.

"Yes."

"Your father lost a fight once."

"You're lying! Father is the strongest there is! He would never lose a fight!" Trunks' eyes teared up and he ran off into what remained of the house.

"C'mon Kibito!" Bulma mentally cheered the man on. "If you can't do it. Only the next plot-device can!"

.-.

"Father. Stop charging up the Kamehameha. Right now!" Gohan glared.

"I'm sorry Son. I just get jumpy, that's all."

"It's okay Fathe—"

"A computer! Stand back! I'll use my Kamehameha!"

"Oh for God's sake..."

"Is that the only attack you know, Goku?" Cell scoffed at the Saiyan.

"I know the Kaioken!"

"What's that?"

"It's an ability where I can power up as many times as I like."

"But if he goes too high he can---" Gohan tried to add, but his father butted in.

"Too high? Pah! Nothing is too high for the mighty SON GOKU!"

"Show me this ability."

"Alrighty, Perfect Cell. You shall see my awesome power!"

"Father." Gohan interrupted. "Don't go too high or you might.."

"Kaioken! Times TWENTY BILLION!" Goku screamed as power errupted around him for a few moments before a massive ear-piecing boom splintered through the entire space station.

"…Explode."

"What just happened here?" Cell asked in horror as he removed his fingers from his ears.

"My father just blew up."

The android chuckled to himself "I see. Well, he certainly put me in my place by exploding and all."

.-.

"Alright Squad." Dende spoke up. "Since we are heading to Namek. Have we all remembered to bring our water?"

"WHAT?" Guru shouted out.

"Shut up, you old fart!" Nail glared.

"Anyway, did we bring the water?"

"I tell people when to walk." The green-light man raised his hand. "ROCK ON!"

"You're all idiots." Dende sighed and walked off to another part of the spaceship.

.-.

"By George I think I've got it!" Tenshinhan shouted in excitement. "Finally, my amazing device is ready!"

"What does it do?" Yamcha asked, looking at the coconut shaped object.

"It's a device that can cause the entire Universe to collapse!"

"That doesn't sound like something to be proud of."

"What's wrong, Yamcha." Tenshinhan's voice suddenly turned into a whisper. "You know we aren't popular here."

"Yes. So?"

"So. I am going to destroy the world! Since we apparently aren't good enough for it."

"B-But I have baseball games to play! ''Sasaki! Wonder-Man!' they called me."

"That's not your name." Tenshinhan pointed out.

"I know, they found out about that and had me kicked from the team. But I'm okay now. I'm sleeping under the couch on 5th Avenue!"

"Okay. I'm taking my device to Mt. Doom and am going to destroy the Universe." Tenshinhan said and slowly flew off.

"You forgot your device…" Yamcha said.

"No. I'm getting my swallow to pick it up."

"What kind of swallow?"

"Shut up!"

.-.

Goku slowly open his eyes. A dark void surrounded him. The Saiyan tried flying off in every direction, but all he ever saw was darkness. "Hellooooo. Anyone here?"

"That voice? Kakarot?"

"Vegeta?" Goku spun around to see the Saiyan floating nearby. "What are you doing here?"

"Funny story, really. I was trying to defend the Earth from Bill Murray and his legions of Ghost Robots when all of a sudden I found myself on the world of the moon-pies. Needless to say I exploded from not using the Kaioken. Nope! And then everyone got naked and started dancing!"

"… What the hell?"

"Yes I know. Woo! Crazy."

"Kakarot." Vegeta started to back away. "I do not know why I consider you my rival."

Who is this creature?

"Hi. I'm Son Goku!"

What are you doing here?

"Funny story, really…"

"SHUT UP, KAKAROT!" Vegeta screamed.

"Vegeta! Don't worry. I'll stop him with my Kamehameha!"

Goku. We have someone here who would like to meet you.

"Superman? I've been meaning to get into a fight with him. I've always wondered who would win!"

No. Not Superman. Bardock!

"Bardock?" Goku scratched his head as the Saiyan appeared before him. "Who's Bardock."

Do you know anything about your father?

"I know he died a long time ago. But I'll never see him again!"

"No Goku." Bardock shook his head. "I am your father."

"No, that's not true! That's impossible!"

"Search your feelings. You know it to be true!"

"That's it!" Vegeta spun around and flipped his arm into the air. "I'm out of here."

.-.

The battle raged on between the Sack and Kibito. Three quarters of the entire planet had already been ravaged by their awesome power, neither side even showing the slightest hint of fatigue. The only sign of life left on the planet was the spaceship that carried Tenshinhan and Yamcha away from the planet and towards Mt. Doom! But that's another story-arch.

"Give it up, Kibito!" The sack spoke as it charged up an instant Spirit Bomb. "You will fail!"

"Never! I am on the side of puppies and vomit!"

"You nearly destroyed the Universe last time you were awake."

"I was drunk! Anyone would make that mistake! I was young and reckless!"

"Hahaha. You really do not know what's I have planned do you?" The Sack laughed evilly. Being evil and all. Yeah.

"A transformation."

"How did you know?"

"You're a Dragonball villain, you have to transform at some stage."

.-.

"So Gohan. If you can so be called that." Cell started up.

"Yes I can be called that. Seeing as that is my name."

"SILENCE! Once I fire this machine, your entire planet will be destroyed!"

"Um. You might want to look behind you then."

"What?" Cell spun around and saw nothing but a small chunk of rock behind him. "Someone beat me to it! Oh God damn it! Now what am I supposed to do? That was my planet to destroy." The android started to cry. "It's not fair! I never get to wipe out planets. Frieza did! And I'm stronger than he could ever be."

"There, there." Gohan patted Cell on the shoulder. "Tell you what. You can destroy Mars. Would you like that?"

"Don't patronize me!" Cell glared. "I am Perfect Cell! I CAN DESTROY THE SOLAR SYSTEM!"

"What is it with you and the Solar System?"

.-.

Kibito floated among the ruins of Earth as the dust around the Sack started to vanish. His transformation was powerful enough to cause the entire planet to explode. Kibito could sense that his foe's power had increased by at least twenty times. Yes. His opponent had transcended into… A PLASTIC BAG!

"Kibito! You fool! Now I am at full power and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

"Is that so?" Kibito grinned as trillions of Ninjas appeared behind him. They were the Space Ninjas from before. See? Continuity. And you thought I couldn't do it. Well I should you! I SHOWED YOU ALL!

"You think you're the only one with an awesome army?" The Plastic Bag ruffled for a few moments. Signaling the appearance of trillions of Space Vikings. "Now we shall see who has the superior army of awesome!"

"Yes. Yes we will." Kibito chucked as all the Space Ninjas activated their Lightsabers. While the Space Vikings took out their Viking Warhammers. For a few minutes, an eerie silence fell upon the entire Universe. As if everyone knew that their lives could come to an end at any moment. Except the people of Vega 3X. Who knew their lives were coming to and end as they were being sucked into a Black Hole! But no one cares about them. So let's go back to being dramatic, shall we?

No?

FINE THEN!