Disclaimer: Akira Toriyama owns the rights to DBZ.

HA! You were expecting something different weren't you?

What? You weren't?

Positive?

Oh, okay then. I'll leave.

….

I was kidding, get back here!

.-Cell: Master of Insanity-.

Vegeta continued to block his ears as Goku rambled about his funny story. Well, it was originally a rather amusing story, let me tell you! But after a few seconds the Saiyan got bored and just started rambling, he was currently going on about how he saved the world from a gigantic robotic Bulma who's purpose was to steal Christmas and give it to the Namekians. Yeah, he was stupid like that.

For the love of God, why doesn't he stop?

"The madness! The madness!" Bardock started twitching as he sucked his thumb.

How are we meant to help save the Universe if all he does is ramble?

"The Universe needs saving?" Goku suddenly stopped his story, much to the relief of everyone nearby. "I'll do it! I love saving the Universe! Remember when I saved it from that crazy Legendary Super Saiyan? What was his name?.. Nappa?"

"Brolly. And you didn't kill him, Gohan did." Vegeta pointed out.

"I helped!"

"No you didn't, you were just an image used to stress the fact that Gohan still cares and respects you after all those years."

"… I don't exist?"

"I never said that."

"Oh yes you did!"

"When did I say that?" Vegeta asked.

"Oh, it was way back when we were fighting Raditz, I remember it perfectly."

.-.

"I say, old bean!" Goku exclaimed while adjusting his monocle. "This uncivilized Saiyan is quite the rough costumer!"

Vegeta took a quick puff on his gentleman pipe and twirled his cane around. "Indeed."

"GRAH! I AM RADITZ! LOOK AT MY CRAZY HAIR! ISN'T IT JUST WACKY?"

"What a philistine!" Goku scoffed. "He certainly won't be getting into this social club, what do you think of this development Vegeta?"

"I say it's downright disgraceful, old spice! We should have the guards escort him out of the premises forthwith!"

"I agree wholeheartedly!" Goku pointed into the air for no reason.

"Also, Kakarot?"

"Yes."

"YOU DON'T EXIST! HA!"

.-.

"Then for some reason everyone got naked and started Morris Dancing."

"Kakarot. That never actually happened, did it?"

"…No."

Uh.. The Universe still needs saving you know. Kibito is too busy fighting the plastic bag.

"Oh, what could happen?" Goku laughed.

.-.

Elsewhere, on the planet Sitysuna-3, inside an innocent café. Trevor, the loveable sausage creature dropped a bagel, he loved those things. Anyway, his bagel dropped and wouldn't you know it, the entire solar system just exploded, killing billions of people.

But that has nothing to do with our story, moving on.

.-.

"Ha! Foolish Kibito!" The Plastic Bag laughed his evil, non-mouth laugh. "I am the master of the entire Universe!"

"Only a master of evil, Darth!"

"Darth?"

"I have no idea myself. Just felt like saying it, you know."

"No. I don't."

"Oh. Well never mind then!"

Kibito and the Plastic Bag flew at each other once again, their energy destroying many planets. Now fans everywhere rushed to internet forums and asked if Kibito could beat Superman or Neo.

… Well they would of if the Earth wasn't already destroyed. Oops.

.-.

"There it is! New Namek!" Piccolo pointed dramatically.

"Yes, I know." Nail sighed. "I've been there before."

"Oh, have you?" The Namek glared. "So you've been there before, and now there just so happens to be a crisis now. How very odd, wouldn't you say so Dende?"

"No, Nail went there years before this, plus you've been there before, so that would be like saying that you did it."

"Trying to put the blame on someone else, eh?" Piccolo put on his detective cap. "Not a smart move Dende, or should I say... META-COOLER?"

"How could I be Meta-Cooler? I'm organic."

"Sounds like Old Man Cooler is trying to disguise himself again!"

"Again? Cooler disguised himself a first time?" Nail asked.

"Indeed! It just so happens… THAT I AM META-COOLER!" Piccolo shouted. "I will now prove it by ripping my own head off! … AGRH!"

"Well, that was disgusting." Nail shuddered. "Guru, clean this up, will you?"

"WHAT?"

"…I hate you."

.-.

"Tenshinhan! Don't do it. There has to be another way!" Yamcha screamed at his three-eyed friend as he laughed maniacally from the top of Mt. Doom, which is on Vega-3. Not many people know that. Tell your friends! They'll be amazed and give you money!

"This is my time to shine!" Ten cackled. "Now I will… DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

"That was a horrible line, you know."

"Yeah… Okay, here's a better one… THE THREE-EYED COWBOY IS GOING FOR ONE LAST RIDE!"

"…Okay, I was against this at first." Yamcha started thinking after hearing those two lines. "But go ahead Ten, destroy the Universe."

"Don't mind if I do!"

.-.

"Now Gohan, it has been fun." Cell chuckled. "But I'm afraid I have to destroy the entire Universe now."

"Okay, knock yourself out."

"… Uh... Okay?" Cell looked at the Saiyan oddly before grabbing a table and smashing it against his head, rendering himself unconscious. Unfortunately his body fell on the Doom-ray start up button.

"Well…" Gohan clicked his fingers. "Shit."

.-.

"You know why you are going to lose Kibito?" The Plastic Bag asked. "It's because I have the ability to destroy the entire Universe right now!"

"You lie!"

"Oh no. In fact, I'm going to do it right… now."

At this moment, Tenshinhan and Cell's Universe destroying rays fired at the same time as the Plastic Bags. Also, a group of school children on the planet Cuddlebutt-XS were just about to enjoy a wonderful day at the dream factory, the place where all your dreams come true! And on the other side of the Cosmos, the people of Spira were finally enjoying peace after both Sin and Vegnagun were destroyed. True bliss.

…Well, you know. Before the Universe kinda ceased to exist.

.-.

Oh boy. That isn't good!

"What happened?" Goku looked around the place trying to find the voice. "Did something bad happen?"

… You could say that.

"Want me the blast my shirt off? It gives me a +100 STR increase, you know. Hey! Vegeta!"

"What?"

"Rip my shirt off!"

"…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Kakarot. It seems like my brain just exploded."

"Oh. You okay?"

"I no longer have that horrid mental image in my head, if that's what you mean."

Since the Universe was destroyed, it seems that all the creatures are entering this realm.

"Wha-?" Piccolo looked around oddly as his spaceship popped into view. "What the hell are we doing here? Also... why do I lack a body? DENDE!"

"What is it?"

"Did you sell my body off for money? Because if you did…"

"Well this is certainly unexpected." Cell muttered to himself as he and Gohan appeared.

"PERFECT CELL?" Goku yelled. "Don't worry! I'll use my Kamehameha!"

"Ha! I'll just use my Doom-ray on you!"

"What am I doing back here?" The Plastic Bag looked around.

There he is! Kibito, trap him in the containment field!

Kibito nodded and dashed to the Plastic Bag and threw him into the field.

"No! I'll get you next time! You and Vegeta!" The Plastic Bag screamed before vanishing.

"There was a containment field there?" Goku scratched his head.

Yes, we have several of them. I believe Trunks is stuck arse first in one now.

"This is incredibly uncomfortable!"

"Well that's just swell. But how do we defeat Perfect Cell?" Goku asked.

"I can do it, you know." Gohan pointed out.

"Vegeta! Fuse with me!"

"Okay! My brain is gone so I have no reason to dislike you now!" Vegeta smiled and pranced over to the other Saiyan.

"Vegeta had a brain?" Piccolo asked. "Why wasn't I informed, huh. WHY?"

"Hey, don't look at me!" Cell tried to swat the floating Piccolo head away from him.

"FU-SION-HA!" A massive ball of light appeared where Goku and Vegeta were standing... Well, I wouldn't call it light, seeing as this realm is nothing but darkness. But it was certainly cool looking. But this a text-based form of entertainment so you can't see it. Shame really, because it was awesome!

"I am neither Goku nor Vegeta…"

"Actually, you're both. Seeing as you fused together." Nail pointed out.

"Well thank you. Ruin my moment why don't you!" Gogeta glared. "And as for you Perfect Cell."

"Yes?"

"DIE!"

"But I don't wanna."

"Well too bad, you have to."

"That's mean!" Cell screamed back at the fused warrior before being obliterated by a point blank Kamehameha wave.

"Haha! Gogeta for the win!"

"I could have done that." Gohan sniffed. "He was after me. Why didn't I get to do it!"

Uh.. We still have the problem of the Universe being destroyed.

"Don't worry about that. I'll fix it!" Dende gloated and started dancing.

"He can do that?" Goku asked the Piccolo head.

"What, you didn't know that? And you call yourself a Namekian?"

"Actually I'm a Sa—"

"NAMEKIAN!"

"Fine. Fine."

"Okay. Done!" Dende smiled.

That was over rather quickly.

"What are you implying?"

Nothing in the least..

"Okay. Good!" Dende clapped his hands together. "Now back to our Universe!"

"Goodbye disembodied voices!" Goku cried out. "I will miss you! Be sure to write some time. Vegeta? Aren't you going to say goodbye?"

"No!"

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Fine… Goodby—FINAL FLASH!"

Uh, Vegeta. We don't have a body for that Ki blast to actually hit.

"Oh, right. Damn it!" Vegeta cursed before vanishing.

.-.

The following few weeks were rather peaceful in the Universe. A reptilian race conquered a few planets and a Supernova destroyed several nearby Solar Systems. But other then that it was nice and quiet.

Piccolo and the Namekian Squad were still heading towards New Namek. Oh yeah, Piccolo ended up getting his body back, he found Nail trying to flush them down the toilet. What a card!

The Son family was doing quite well, until Goku found a gerbil with a rather unnatural amount of Ki in it. So he decided to fly off and train the squirrel for several years, leaving his loving family behind… Unfortunately the Squirrel died a few weeks later by a sub-orbital Kamehameha blast. Goku never was the best in training others. Weeks after that, Kaioshin realized that Goku was meant to be dead still so he took him back to the otherworld.

Vegeta and Bulma were living rather peacefully. But there was that one time that Vegeta went insane and turned the entire house into a chamber with the gravity of a super-massive star, all Capsule Corp staff were instantly killed. They will be missed.

Tenshinhan went off to become a hermit yet again with Chouzu, but they are humans so the DBZ plot doesn't care about them. Moving on.

Kibito ended up trying to start a New Jedi Order. His only students were an apple, and a some sort of space-llama. The llama went on to have a love affair with one Shmi Skywalker, their son obviously grew up to become an incredibly sane individual who would save the Universe many times!

.-.

"How much longer is that going to take Frieza?" Dodoria sighed as they continued to walk along a brick road.

"Oh, we still have weeks of walking ahead of us before we reach the Queen's Palace."

"Oh God damn it..."

-THE END-

Well, that's it for this fic! Thanks to everyone who replied and the people who emailed me constantly to see when I would update. I hope you enjoyed it!

Okay, fine. There's still a continuation fic I have to write. Ruin the suspense why don't you!

See you then!