Obscuring Tears
Sinking








It seemed like just yesterday
When you were here with me
I guess I should be happy
Now your soul has been set free

She flicked off the light switch with a lazy hand and picked her way back to her bed where her husband, Carlos Ponce, already lay. Mary slipped noiselessly under the deep emerald bedcovers and snuggled close against Carlos's arm. She sighed.

"Something wrong?" Carlos asked her, his Spanish accented tiredly pronounced.

Mary ran her index finger along Carlos's upper arm and replied, "Well, it's just that Thanksgiving is coming up and we usually meet at my parents' house."

"Oh."

Mary still her hand. "Should we have it here this year?"

Carlos grunted, "Why don't we wait and call Matt and Sarah. We can check it out
with them."

"All right." A pause. "It's just going to be so weird this year and for the rest of our lives."

Carlos kissed Mary's forehead. "I know. Are Kevin and Lucy adopting Ruthie and the boys?"

"Mary nodded. "Yeah. Luce called and said that Ruthie wasn't very happy. They're worried about her."

"It's understandable. Things are going to take some time getting used to."

"You're right."

Carlos knew that Mary was crying although her couldn't see her tears in the dark. He gave her a final kiss.

"Everything will get better. I promise."

Mary sighed. "Thanks, Honey. I love you."

"I love you, too."

They were just about to drift off to sleep when their three year old son, Jacob, came padding into the room and got into bed beside his mother, announcing that he had had a bad dream.

You said you would never leave me
Said you would always be here
But the time that I need you most
You are nowhere near

"Mommy? Are you gonna die like grandma?"
"Oh, not for a very, very long time. I'll always be here when you need me."

That was her promise. She said that she would always be there for me. A lie. That's what it was. A flat-out lie.

Ruthie found herself angry at her mother while she sat on the back porch of Kevin and Lucy's yellow abode. She had sat herself on the middle cement step and was scanning the green and cheery grass with hardened eyes. A plastic doe in the corner of the yard, shadowed by trees, watched her out of one eye.

"Ruthie?" The back door slid open and Lucy poked her head out. "The boys want to go down to the cemetery. Do you want to come with us?"

Ruthie shook her head and twisted her white shoelace around her pinkie. She hoped that Lucy wouldn't try to make this moment into some sappy heart-to-heart. Ruthie just felt like being alone.

Lucy sighed disappointedly, but she didn't say anything more.

When Ruthie heard the boys and Lucy drive off in the car, she glanced back at the doe. It's little, beady, black eye was still on her. Ruthie narrowed her eyes. She stood and walked in directly to the statue. With all her strength and anger, Ruthie shoved the deer onto it's plastic, brown side and walked away, feeling slightly better.

The inside of the house was quiet. It seemed as if everything had lost it's sound. Had forgotten how to annoy her. She had the voices in her head to do that now.

"I'll always be here for you, Ruthie."

"I love you, Ruthie."

Ruthie fell to her knees in the middle of the kitchen and pressed the palms of her hands into her forehead.

"Shut up! Shut up!" she screamed. A sob sounded from deep in her throat.

Ruthie rocked back and forth, trying to shake the voices from her head. "Get out," she moaned. "Get out. Get out." The tears she had shed fell onto the white linoleum and formed a small puddle.

When Lucy and the boys arrived home twenty minutes later, Ruthie's sobs were just beginning to die out.

Lucy told Sam and David to play outside for a while when she saw Ruthie in the kitchen. Afraid of what was going on, the boys obeyed willingly and headed out into the backyard.

Lucy knelt down by her sister and pulled her close, trying to comfort her.

"Shh," Lucy cooed. "It's okay." She smoothed Ruthie's silky hair and rocked her softly.

Ruthie didn't object, but was grateful for the welcoming arms that were so much like her mother's.

I cry one tear for every time
My heart calls out for you
But you will never answer
I shall forever be this blue

No one knew what had actually happened that day or why Eric and Annie had crashed. The investigators had blamed it on the slippery road. Not feeling creative, everyone had gone along with them. No one had wanted to relive the accident and think of another possible explanation.

Our family had gathered together after the funeral. Or funerals, if you wanted to get technical. Mom and Dad had both been killed in a tragic accident last Monday. And on the first school day too.

I had been in class when I was called out and sent home. I wasn't told anything for a long time. Then Detective Michaels and Lou had come over to our house and I had received the news. I only heard that my parents had been killed and the rest of the words just seemed to fade away.

At first, I didn't believe it, but then people began to come over and my siblings called to say that they were coming home. Sam and David were only in pre-kindergarten, and now they had to deal with this.

For days, I had locked myself in my room, not letting anyone come in. I would bury my head in my pillow and cry. My bed was where I stayed. I didn't eat, or sleep. Everyone was worried about me, but I didn't care. The only thing that ran through my mind was: my parents are dead.

"You doin' okay?" Eric Camden put an arm around his wife as they stood together outside the door of a pre-kindergarten classroom, watching their boys play.

Annie sighed. She turned to him and smiled, tears glistening in her eyes. "Yeah, I suppose. They're the last ones. The end of the line."

Eric gave her a small, brave smile. "They've all grown up," Eric touched his thumb to her face, wiping away a single, salty tear that had fallen from her eye.

"I know," Annie sniveled. "Now what am I supposed to do all day?"

Eric chuckled and guided her away from the door. "I'll tell you what. When we get home, you can make me a snack."

"Oh, stop it," Annie gave Eric a playful smack on the shoulder as they walked down the empty hallway and out of the school.

It had been raining that day. Nothing out of the ordinary. Glenoak often got a bit of rain in September. The streets were wet and slippery as the rain came pouring down. As they say, when it rains, it pours.

As they drove home, the windshield wipers were turned on full blast. Swish-swish. Back and forth. Swish-swish.

Dark rain clouds covered the sky, blocking out the sunlight. The headlights on their car illuminated the shiny road that stretched out before them. Tree branches
thrashed in the harsh wind.

"Its really storming," Annie commented.

Eric, not taking his eyes off the road, agreed. "No kidding."

Annie lifted her purse off the floor and rummaged around, looking for her lipstick. She found it, but when she went to put it back, her hand bumped into the dashboard and the contents went rolling.

"Oh, shoot," Annie said as she felt around the floor, trying to find everything and put it back.

"Eric," Annie said. "my pen fell over on your side. Do you see it?"

Eric glanced down. "Yeah. It's down there by the gas pedal."

Annie leaned over in her seat, stretching to get to the pen. "I can't reach it."

Eric sighed. "Here. Let me," Eric took one hand off of the wheel and felt around for it. His feelers couldn't find it, so he took a quick glance. He grabbed it and handed it to Annie.

"Got it," he said, just as Annie had screamed.

Newton's First Law of Motion had come into action.

Eric's head jerked backward, then forward, colliding with the steering wheel. There was a blinding white light just before blackness took its place.

We all want the impossible
And I want you to be with me
Make that rainy day never happen
Come back and make me happy

Simon Camden walked the halls of USC. He had gone back to school, not wanting to stick around and be overwhelmed with sadness. At least when he was at school, he had his studies to focus on. Not his loss.

His family had been very upset with his decision, but in a way, they were jealous. Jealous because they didn't have the distraction that he had.

In a way, he regretted his actions. It was painful not to have his family around. But he was dealing with it. He would find a way to go on. Not just because he wanted to; he had to.

The February before his parents' accident, Simon had turned eighteen. That meant that he wasn't a ward of the state anymore. Ruthie and the boys were going to be adopted by Lucy and Kevin. That was one thing he was happy about. Not having to worry about his little sister and brothers took a load off of his shoulders.

Just knowing that his parents were gone made him sick. He couldn't accept that the two people who he most loved in the entire world, were gone. The people who had raised him and taught him his morals that he stuck to, were no more.

Simon reached his dorm and turned the knob.

He wondered how Ruthie was doing. How the boys were doing. Even though he wasn't with them right now, didn't mean that he didn't love them.

His fingers quickly dialed Lucy's number. It took three rings before someone finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kevin. It's Simon."

"Hey, Simon. How are you?"

"I'm fine," Simon lied. "Can I talk to Lucy?"

"Sure." Simon heard Kevin set the phone down and call for Lucy.

"Hey, Simon." Lucy sounded exhausted.

"Hi, Luce. What's going on? You sound tired."

Lucy sighed. "Oh. Ruthie's having a hard time, and I can't seem to help her."

Simon's eyebrows knitted together. "What's the problem?"

Lucy's voice tightened. "Guess."

"Oh." Simon's heart sunk.

He contemplated what he was about to suggest after he had tried to hard to not do it.

"Should I come and stay with her?" Simon volunteered.

Lucy sounded grateful. "Thanks, Simon. But, what about school?"

"It'll be fine. I'll explain what's going on."

Simon hung up with Lucy five minutes ago. His roommate had come into the room and asked where he was going.

Simon looked at the half full suitcase and explained.

"I'm going to stay with my sister for a few days."

Michael nodded and left him alone.

Simon buckled the suitcase and hoped that his coming would help not only Ruthie, but himself.