Obscuring Tears
Blinding


I'm stepping out into the world
Without your hand in mine
Why must things happen to us
How did we ge into this bind?

"Matt? Are you sure about this?" Sarah Camden asked her husband as her bustled around their small bedroom, extracting his clothes from the dresser and closet.

Matt stopped in front of his wife and rested his hands gently on her narrow shoulders.

"Sarah, I have to go to Glenoak. I have to be there for my family."

Sarah searched Matt's eyes desperately, finding only herself unable to read him. "I understand that, Matt. But what I don't understand is why you have to drop out of school."

Matt removed his hands, letting them drop carelessly to his side. "I'm not 'dropping out.' I'm just taking some time off. It's okay, I checked."

"How much time?" Sarah asked, sounding worried.

Matt shrugged. "A month or so."

Sarah threw up her hands. "'A month or so?!' Matt you are going to be extremely behind in your classes! You can't afford 'a month or so!'"

Matt's voice was calm, but he was furious. "Sarah, do I have your support in this or not?"

Sarah seemed to think for a moment, then, her voice even, replied, "I'm sorry, Matt. I understand you having to go see your family at a time like this. I support that. But I'm not with you on the 'school' thing."

Sighing angrily, Matt zipped up his black suitcase. "Fine," was all her said to Sarah as he left his apartment and his wife.

Changing things for the worse
Won't help anything
Leaving things the same
Will keep my heart in a sling

Kevin Kinkirk arrived home that night tired and hungry. He had just finished a twelve hour shift of Roxanne swooning over her new boyfriend, Greg, and was comparing him to Chandler. Apparently, Greg was "so much better than that minister guy." Greg was a brain surgeon - how ironic. No more using the phrase "it's not brain surgery" around Roxanne. She would probably just give him a free "Greg quote."

Kevin opened the refrigerator and took out a jar of strawberry jelly that Lucy had made herself. He was spreading peanut butter - the chunky kind - on a slice of white bread when Lucy came in.

She was dressed in her pajamas ( an old pair of sweat shorts and a large, white T-shirt), Lucy smiled and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

"I thought I heard you come in," she said.

Kevin smooshed the two slices of bread together. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

Lucy sighed. "No."

Kevin took a huge bite out of his sandwich, forcing Lucy to raise her eyebrows and giggle.

"What?" Kevin asked, his mouth full of peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Lucy just shook her head and reached up to Kevin's mouth. She brushed away a bit of peanut butter.

Kevin grinned, his cheeks puffing out. "Thanks."

Lucy nodded and went to the fridge. She took out a gallon of two per cent milk and poured Kevin a glass.

He smiled his thanks and guzzled down the cold beverage.

Lucy leaned against the chilly countertop and watched her husband eat.

"Is there something wrong?" Kevin asked her, his mouth rid of any food.

Lucy shook her head, her smile gone.

Kevin was about to take another bite of his meal when Lucy spoke:

"I think we should move to New York."

Kevin's eyes widened. "Come again?"

Behind these eyes of mine
Is a world of extreme hurt
Though you can't see it
I know you are alert


Sam had awoken to use the rest room when he heard what Lucy and Kevin were talking about. Forgetting all about his reason for getting up in the first place, he hurried to Ruthie's room down the hall. He pushed open the door and shook his sister's shoulders, rousing her from her unpleasant sleep.

When she saw who had disturbed her, Ruthie rolled over trying to ignore Sam's small hands pushing on her body.

"Ruthie, Lucy wants us to move to New York!" Sam explained in a hushed and excited whisper.

Ruthie pretended not to hear him. Eventually, Sam gave up and left her alone.

When she was sure Sam had gone back to bed Ruthie got up, closed her door, and flicked on the light.

Her eyes watered from the sudden brightness, but Ruthie wiped at them vigorously.

She was angry. Angry at Lucy for even suggesting that they leave Glenoak. Her parents were buried here. There was no way that she was leaving to New York just because of her sister.

Quickly and quietly, Ruthie shoved a few mis-matched clothes into her backpack. Before she fled the house through the small window, Ruthie left a note on her pillow addressed to Lucy, who found it the next morning.

Why must things be different?
Why must things be the same?
Is there ever a compromise?
Will I always be to blame?

To some, spending the night in a cemetery would seem frightening, and a person would be considered crazy to do it. To others, it would be comforting and oddly reassuring...but only if your parents were buried there.

Ruthie had found her mother and father's graves relatively quickly in the dark and, after straining her eyes to scan the headstones, she set her bag down and sat and the foot of a large tree that was nearby.

Ruthie leaned her back against the rough surface of the trunk of the tree and closed her eyes. No one would, or could, make her leave Glenoak. Not even Lucy.

I plan to stay here
In this very spot
I'm never moving
This is my lot.

Simon Camden rang Lucy and Kevin's doorbell around 10:30 A.M. Saturday morning. His twins brothers, Sam and David, had raced to answer the door. Lucy and Kevin appeared behind them seconds later.

Simon smiled a sheepish hello at his brother-in-law as he was hugged by his sister, Lucy.

They were all seated in the living room when Simon noticed something. Someone was missing.

"Where's Ruthie?" Simon asked.

Lucy shrugged. "Still asleep, I suppose. I haven't heard anything from her all morning," she explained. Lucy rose from her seat on the couch. "I'll go wake her."

Simon watched his sister leave before turning his gaze to Kevin.

"So, how's school going, Simon?" Kevin asked him.

Simon shrugged. "Oh, you know. School's....school." Simon forced a smile and Kevin nodded.

Nothing else had a chance to be said, for Lucy came back into the room, her face pale, a piece of white paper in her right hand.

"What's wrong?" Kevin asked, getting to his feet. Simon followed suit, and stood.

Lucy's shakey hand held out the paper.

Kevin looked confused, but took the page from his wife. He read the words, then handed the note to Simon.

Lucy -

I know what you were planning, and it isn't going to work, I am never going to leave Glenoak. Mom and Dad are buried here, and I'll never leave them. You were crazy to even think that moving to New York was a good idea.

- Ruthie

P.S. -

I hate you.

Simon looked up from the paper to Lucy. She was sobbing in Kevin's arms. The boys were still sitting on the couch. David just looked confused, but Sam was fidgetting.

Simon set the letter on the coffee table and kneeled in front of Sam.

"Sam, how did Ruthie find out about New York?" Simon asked slowly, softly.

Sam's bright, blue eyes looked into he worried green ones. "I told her."

Simon let his head fall, a dull pain creeping up the back of his neck. It turned into a throb when it reached his temples. He stood and went to look out of the window.

"Ruthie, what have you done?" he thought to himseld as a shiny, black Eclipse sped by.

The sunshine hits my face
Sunny and very warm
It gives my heart some feeling
My cold heart that's been scorn

Warm sunshine bathed her pale skin as she slept under the tree. Footsteps were approaching her, but she ignored them, just wanting to enjoy the quietness and the black of her eyelids.

Soon, the footsteps grew close and stopped beside her. Ruthie opened her eyes and looked up. The person's face was blocked out of her vision by the bright sun, but immediately knew who had come when he spoke.

"Ruthie. Now, what are you doing out here?"