A/N:I hate to start this off with an apology, but I need to. I am so sorry it has taken me this long to update, but I suddenly got some type of inspiration to try and rekindle this story.

Also, I do happen to own the stanzas of poetry that are featured throughout this story (unless I decide to use something out of a song, but I will then state who it is by, etc.).

Obscuring Tears

Chapter Five:

Unfamiliar

She has fallen apart

She has been broken

Not what she used to be

No longer soft-spoken.

"My parents are up there," Ruthie said, sounding distant and disconnected as she stared up at the bright stars in the sky.

He looked at her, reading into her pain. Ruthie Camden never seemed like the weak type. She was always levelheaded and smart and strong. She always knew what to do and what was best. That was why he liked her so much. Now, it seemed, that she didn't know what she was doing, or where she was going. She was completely lost, just waiting for someone to come along and lead her somewhere better.

He laid his hand over hers and she turned her head to look at him, but she didn't jerk away. She actually kind of smiled, and his heart felt warm, for that was the first time she had even come close to feeling happy in a very long time. It was nice. He was glad he brought her up here.

The two of them sat up on a dirt hill just on the outskirts of town where the stars shone as if they were guiding lights. And in a way, they were. Whenever he needed to clear his mind, or find it, he took the semi-long drive to this very hill where it was peaceful. He felt safe here, and knew that Ruthie would feel the same way.

"I'm glad you brought me up here, Bert. You were right. I am distracted." She felt more than just distracted. She felt as if she were in some sort of dream state and that none of this was real, it was so beautiful.

"Well, I'm glad you came." He squeezed her hand, and it was just like they were dating again...as if this was their date.

"I haven't even heard from Peter," she spat angrily.

Bert felt his heart falter as he remembered Peter. Slowly, he slid his hand off of Ruthie's to where they weren't touching any longer.

"Peter. Isn't he your boyfriend?" he asked, trying to sound as if he didn't care.

Ruthie studied his face and she recognized the look in his eyes. "No," she laughed. "He's just a friend."

Bert felt the warmth of Ruthie's hand once again, and from then on, they sat in comfortable silence as their minds filled with millions of thoughts - Ruthie's of her parents in Heaven, and Bert's with love.

You aren't listening

You don't even care

I might as well leave

You're so unaware.

"Any luck?" Lucy asked frantically as Simon came through the door, followed closely by Kevin. They both look grave and tired.

Shaking his head, Simon replied, "None such."

Kevin looked around. "Where are the boys?" he asked.

Lucy gazed down the hall. "I put them to bed after they ate about an hour ago."

"Is there anything left? To eat, I mean," Kevin asked. He hadn't eaten anything since that morning, and he was starving.

Lucy sighed. "No. I just gave them sandwiches." Lucy was slightly annoyed by her husband's careless attitude. How could he even think about food at a time like this? Well, he is a man, Lucy thought, answering her own question. All they ever think about is food and sex.

"What are we going to do now?" Simon asked.

"I guess I can make soup or something..." Kevin suggested, clearly missing the subject.

"I meant about Ruthie. What if she's hurt?"

"I'm sure she's not hurt. We'll call the police department and have them do a more thorough search for her," Kevin explained, walking over to the phone. Before he could even begin to dial, the front door opened and Ruthie stepped over the threshold. "Or maybe she'll just come home on her own," Kevin unnecessarily added. He was hoping for a laugh or even a small chuckle, but obviously now was not the time for jokes.

"Where have you been?" Lucy demanded, suddenly finding herself angrier than she had even been before.

Ruthie cocked her head to the side for a moment, blinked, then, acting as if she was completely dumbfounded, said, "You didn't get my note? Gee, you must be slipping. Mom would never have missed that."

"Ruthie, shut up," Simon said, disgusted with how much his litter sister had changed in mere months.

Ruthie turned to her brother and sneered. "Oh, look at you. Are you planning to stay this time, or are you just going to run away again?"

Simon shook his head, still not believing that this snotty teenager was his sister. "God, you've changed so much, I don't even know you anymore."

"Change..." she pondered. "It's funny how people do that. You know, maybe if you hadn't of run off to school the second that mom and dad died, you might know me a little better."

"Oh, my God. What would possess you to say something like that, Ruthie?" Lucy asked, slowly losing her patience each time Ruthie spoke.

"Don't act like you're all high and mighty. Hey, why don't you try and brainwash the boys and get them to think you're mom? You may still have a fighting chance."

Lucy slapped her sister across the face, echoing like a cracking whip in a silent room.

"Oh, that was mature," Ruthie said, trying to act as if that didn't hurt, but was not entirely successful with keeping the pain out of her voice.

"You deserved it," Lucy replied through clenched teeth.

Ruthie gave Lucy a final death glare before pushing past her (making a point to run into her with her shoulder). Seconds later, the door to Ruthie's bedroom slammed sending the sound reverberating throughout the house.

Why must I feel like this?

Why do I feel so lost?

My control is no more

I feel I'm being tossed.

Tears streamed down Ruthie's face as she leaned up against her door and slid noiselessly to the ground. She glanced to her left and her eyes fell on her box with the gold clasp. The box that she had come across just days before while she was preparing to move out of her past and into her miserable future with Lucy and Kevin. She reached for it and flipped the clasp up, lifting the lid. The ballerina danced as the whimsical music played. Ruthie's fingers ran along the edge, tracing the velvet lining. In one spot, there was a hole large enough to hide something in, but small enough to not be seen.

Ruthie pulled out a rectangular blade that shone dully in the light. As she looked up, she caught a glimpse of her tearstained face in the tiny mirror behind the miniature dancer. Her cheek was still red from where Lucy's hand had met it. Rolling her eyes, she slammed the box closed, the blade still in her hand.

Carefully, she rolled up her sleeve, exposing her wrist, and along with it, several slits and scars. Not thinking on it for a moment's time, Ruthie put the cold metal to her skin and drug, producing a small amount of blood. She sighed, suddenly feeling her anger melt slowly away, and a new sort of calm taking its place.

Ruthie let her head fall back, letting it be supported by the door behind her. During those next few minutes, thoughts of Lucy ran through her mind. She found herself fearing what Lucy would do if she ever found out about her newfound addiction. An inhuman sort of laugh generated from her mouth.

"Damn Lucy. Damn her to hell."

I know I was wrong,

But what does it matter?

My parents are gone

My heart they did shatter.

Matt closed the door to the taxi he had ordered from the airport and paid the man his money before turning to Lucy's home. He hoped that he had not made a mistake coming here because leaving Sarah back in New York without her support was hard enough. Then the plane ride where he tortured himself the whole way about it was even harder. This had to be the right thing.

Before his finger even left the doorbell, Lucy was revealed. She kind of looked at him, her eyebrow raised.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, Kevin and Simon coming into view behind her.

"I- Well, I thought-"Matt stammered, not finding any words that fit.

Lucy threw herself at her brother, cramming her face into his chest. "Oh, I don't care why you're here," she said. "It doesn't matter. I'm just glad we have more help." She pulled away.

"More help?" Matt inquired, stepping inside.

As he closed the door, Kevin and Simon looked at each other and Lucy looked away.

"What?"