Nez: Just a warning to all, I make some video game and ice hockey references in this chapter.

Zan: We do not own HP the book, HP the steak sauce and why have I not appeared in the fic?

Nez: You haven't.

Zan: No fair!

Nez: You try being the one losing sleep over this thing, slaving away over a hot keyboard.

Zan: -scoffs- Whatever.

Chapter Seven: Playstation 101

Sirius, Remus, Toran, James and Nehszriah all sat on the ground in front of Ureth, who was going about "the ancient ways of the gamer".

"…and that concludes my lecture. Any questions?"

"Yes, I have one," Sirius asked, the only one to have not drifted off into some form of comatose state. "Can I play Dot Hack now?"

"Fine, just… wake everyone else up," Ureth muttered. Sirius happily went and poked everyone until they were awake and grabbed a controller.

"You know..." James grumbled. "This contraption is pretty pointless if you play it like you are now." Toran and Ureth looked upset.

"Now how could you make this game any better?" Ureth protested.

"Yeah, show us how," Toran added.

"Fine," James said. "I need Toran, Nehszriah, Sirius and Ureth right here." He pointed to right in front of the television set. Said teens followed orders and with a flick of his wrist, all four of them disappeared.

"Merlin's beard Prongs! What did you do?" Remus yelled.

"Ah, gave them a taste of some real fun," James answered. He pointed to the television screen. "Look."

Remus looked at the screen and could barely believe his eyes. There was Toran, Nehszriah, Sirius and Ureth, all inside the .hack video game. Toran was dressed similarly to Balmung, Nehszriah to Black Rose, Sirius to Kite and Ureth to Bear.

"Wow, that you Nehszriah?" Sirius asked, looking at the video game version of her in skimpy armor. Nehszriah in turn drew her heavy-blade sword and tried to slice him in two. Sirius however, figured out what to do with his twin blades so he could block.

"Hey, cool! I'm Balmung!" Toran said happily. Ureth was not concerned with his costume however.

"Look out guys! It's a monster!"

Sure enough, a guardian monster, a grey blob similar to the one in the .hackSIGN anime appeared and tried to attack Sirius and Nehszriah, who were still fighting. Lucky for them however, Toran and Ureth blocked for them.

"Go for the monster!" Ureth yelled. Sirius went ahead and charged the monster, only for the amoeba-like form to lash out at him and go right through his shoulder. Nehszriah ran up to him and quickly gave him a healing potion.

"You morons!" she yelled. "That thing cannot be beaten! Haven't you watched the anime?"

"No," all three guys answered at once.

"I hate you all," Nehszriah sighed, smacking her forehead. Suddenly, the scenery around them began to change. It warped and twisted and finally settled down again. Then, everyone was a character from Final Fantasy Beginnings.

"Hey! I'm Fighter! Yay!"

"Good for you Toran," Nehszriah muttered. She was dressed in the robes of White Mage.

"I am Black Mage, Destroyer of All!" Ureth cried out. He happily danced around in his mage's robes and hat, not acting a thing like the cranky Black Mage.

"Nez, who am I?" Sirius whimpered. He was dressed up as Theif.

"Don't worry," Nehszriah assured. She then glared over at the dancing Ureth, who had her preferred role.

"I can blow up stuff! I can blow up stuff!" Ureth sang. This angered Nehszriah.

"Why are we in a different game?" Toran asked.

"I don't know. Maybe someone... CHANGED IT ON US!" Nehszriah yelled at the sky.

Outside the television, James was in absolute hysterics. He loved this game, switching worlds on those in the television. Remus though, was freaking out.

"What did you do? What if they get hurt? Will they be able to get out?"

"Ah, relax Moony," James said cooly. He took the Final Fantasy game out of the Playstation and put in a sports game.

"SWEET MONKEY! WE ARE PLAYING THE SPORT OF THE GODS!" Nehszriah squealed as the game loaded. They were NHL 2005 and playing a really rough game of ice hockey.

"Gaaah!" Sirius cried as the puck came at him. He was in the goaltending position and instead of catching the puck, he ducked and let it go in.

"Baka! Aho! Idiot!" Nehszriah cried as she went and smacked Sirius. "Catch the puck, not hide from it! This is not dodge ball!"

"What's dodge ball?" Sirius replied. Nehszriah just fumed off and went to take the face off.

The whistle blew and the puck dropped. Nehszriah won the face off and passed the puck to Toran. Toran passed the puck to Ureth right before he was checked into the boards. Ureth then passed the puck off to Nehszriah. She was just about to make a perfect slap shot when the game changed again.

"Oh, what now?" Nehszriah whined, upset that she did not get to score a goal.

Suddenly, they all found themselves in a dark rom. Toran, Sirius and Ureth were in matching baggy black blue jeans and a white sleeveless shirt while Nehszriah was in baggy blue jeans and a red sleeveless top.

"Where in the hell are we?" Sirius asked. Then, four keypads with arrows appeared in front of them. Once they stepped on, a light, poppy song began to play and arrows appeared on a screen in front of them.

"Awesome! We're playing DDR!" Toran said, hopping up and down on the dance mat.

"DDR?" Sirius asked.

"Dance Dance Revolution," Nehszriah said, she too hopping on the dance mat she occupied. Japanese vocals then filled the air.

"I don't get it." Sirius said as he just stood there. The score bar on his portion of the screen flashed bright red.

"Step on the arrows!" Ureth yelled.

"The arrows?"

"YES! THE ARROWS!"

"Whatever," Sirius mumbled. The song stopped abruptly though and the surroundings became swirled again.

"Where next?" Nehszriah said. To her dismay however, she found herself back in Ureth's room, where Ureth, Toran, Remus and Sirius were ready to beat the living crap out of James.

"That was cool, but don't do it again!" Toran yelled.

"Yeah! I almost died!" Sirius said.

"Let's go guys," Nehszriah said before Ureth could take his shot at James.

"You have to go?" he asked.

"Yes, and I'm taking the Three Stooges with me. Come on you guys." She walked out of the room and out of the house. As much as the Maraurders wanted to stay though, they followed her morosely out the door, Ureth and Toran telling them they could come back at any time.

Zan: -grump- I wasn't in that chapter.

Nez: Oh, shut it.

Zan: Why is Remus a nerd, James a prep and Sirius a punk?

Nez: Because that is what I think they would be in the Muggle world.

Zan: Fine. I just want to be in here soon.

Yes, there you go. Chapter Seven. I put it off and put it off and shall now put off homework to work on Chapter Eight. You all are so lucky to have such a dedicated author. -Zan nearly dies laughing- Alright. Until Eight!