Nez: Now here is an ode to those little people who drive me insane on a weekly basis!
Zan: You know leprechauns?
Nez: No you dolt. My religious education class. I had to change some names though.
Zan: We is not owning the rights to both HP thingies, steel wool, religious education classes, Pokemon or know the horrible students.
Nez: Easy for you to say, you don't have to teach them!
Zan: -snickers-
Chapter Nine: Religious Education Time
Now, the rest of Sunday passed in a general manner. Everyone went back over to Nehszriah's house, the Maraurders passing out playing video games on the newly discovered Playstation in Nehszriah's basement and when they woke up, there was not a trace of her at all.
"Hey, look!" Sirius yelled from up the basement stairs. Remus and James went to the bottom of the staircase and looked up at their friend.
"What is it?" James asked.
"I found a note!" he cried.
"Then let's hear it!"
"Alright: 'Guys, I have gone to school. It will take a bit to get James and Remus enrolled and Sirius is not going to my school. There are other plans for him. I won't take you guys with me until Wednesday. Please stay here until I return. Threatingly Yours, Nehszriah.' Wow. I think she wants us to stay in place, don't you guys?"
"Oh, lovely," Remus sighed. Suddenly, there was a knock on the back door and Nehszriah's voice from the other side.
"Open up you yogurt-brains!" she yelled. Sirius opened up the door to let her in. "Come on! We are going to be late!"
"Late? Late for what?" James asked.
"Class! Come on!" Nehszriah said. The guys followed her out the door and over to what looked like a Catholic elementary school, since it was attached to a church. The four teens went inside and walked into a dark classroom that had no one in it.
"What are we doing here?" James asked.
"This is the class you were talking about?" Sirius pondered, looking around. It appeared to be a fifth grade classroom, class projects about the states and art doodles plastering the walls.
"Sort of, now go and sit down in the back there," Nehszriah said, pointing to the very back of the room, where there were two computer chairs and a normal plastic chair. The guys went back and sat down and just as soon as they were seated, children started to come into the room.
They were all small children, every one in the fourth grade. Once Nehszriah closed the door, one of the kids raised their hand.
"Where is the teacher?" he asked.
"I am the teacher today!" Nehszriah answered brightly.
"Then who are these guys?" a small blonde girl asked, popping up right in front of Sirius. He jumped back, quite startled at how she got back there.
"Megan-chan! Get away from my friends! Back to a desk!" Nehszriah yelled. The small child reluctantly went back to her seat. Then, a boy stood plain up out of his chair.
"Do you have any Pokemon games?" he asked Nehszriah the teacher.
"Yes," she replied. "Good, addictive things, that they are, now sit down Josh."
"Which ones?"
"Josh, explain to me how religion and Pokemon are even slightly relevant to each other?" Nehszriah growled, her eye twitching.
"I asked a simple question," the boy-child replied.
"Onsuwari," Nehszriah said.
"Stop talking in Japanese," a random child said.
"No. Now sit down Josh."
"Which games do you have?" the Josh-child asked, being utterly stubborn.
"Blue and Yellow versions, now sit," Nehszriah answered in an irritated voice. "Now class, open your books to page..."
"Blue and Yellow suck!" Josh said loudly. The Maraurders could barely believe their ears. This was a very defiant child and they were surprised Nehszriah hadn't slapped him yet.
"Josh, stop being a pain in the rear," Nehszriah said, her eye twitching all the more feverishly.
"I have better ones!" the Josh-child said, holding up some game cartridges. "See, I have Sapphire and Ruby and Crystal and Leaf Green and Fire Red and... HEY!"
Nehszriah had snatched the small pieces of plastic from the boy's hand, sending him into hysterics.
"You shall get them back at the end of class," she growled.
"Those are mine! You can't take them!" Josh said, reaching for his games.
"They are mine until the end of class, is that understood?" Nehszriah growled, getting into the small child's face.
"Geez, don't have a cow, dawg," he muttered.
"IMPROPER USAGE OF THE ENGLISH LAAAAAAAANGUAGE!" Nehszriah yelled, jumping into a stance and pointing her finger at the child, who just rolled his eyes and muttered to himself.
"This is definitely odd," Sirius whispered.
"I agree," James said.
"Brillo Pad! Start reading for us on the top of page 197!" Nehszriah said, pointing to a kid with fuzzy brown hair and big glasses.
"Okay!" the child said, grinning broadly. He started to read and then Nehszriah picked on someone else to read, then another, then another. All this time, they were talking about some religious thing that none of the guys really paid attention to. They were actually playing a game of Go Fish when Nehszriah yelled at them.
"Guys!" she snapped. "Get up here!" The three Maraurders obeyed and got up at the front of the class.
"What is it?" Remus asked.
"Kids," Nehszriah said to the class. "Mr. Moony, Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are going to watch you guys for a second. I want them alive when I get back."
"What!" Sirius whispered at Nehszriah. "What are we going to do with them?"
"Entertain the Muggle children," she whispered back. She walked out the door and as soon as she was out of sight, the children all got up and gathered around the Maraurders.
"Who are you guys?" Josh asked.
"Which one of you is Miss Nez's boyfriend?" a small brunette Nehszriah had called Taylor-chan asked.
"You look funny," a pudgy blonde girl wearing definitely grown-up clothes told Sirius.
"Get away from me," Sirius growled.
"Why do you have weird names?" Brillo Pad asked.
"What kind of a name is 'Brillo Pad'?" James snapped.
"Wheee! I wanna piggy-back ride!" a small boy called Stephan said, jumping onto Remus's back. This sent the unsuspecting Maraurder toppling over and he quickly became engulfed in the sea of children.
"Moony!" Sirius yelled. James put his hand on his friend's shoulder.
"We've lost him," he said morosely. The door clicked open to reveal Nehszriah, fresh back from wherever it was that she had went.
"Kids!" she yelled, closing the door. "Off Mr. Moony! Get! Get!" She shooed them away from Remus and helped him up to his feet.
"Merlin's beard, how are you not consumed by them all?" he asked, his eye twitching and his hands shaking.
"Easy," Nehszriah said. "Don't let them. Justin-kun! Stop standing on the desk!"
"I am never going to become a teacher," Remus muttered.
"How about if none of us ever have kids? You know... just to be safe from this?" James added.
"Let's stay away from those things period," Sirius finished. They all stared at Nehszriah, who had literally picked up one of the children and carried him to a random chair.
"Now... onsuwari!" she commanded.
"What's uhn-swa-rie?" the kid asked.
"Honorable sit!" Nehszriah answered, posing and looking very proud of herself.
"Hey! Our parents are here! Can we leave?" Josh asked, looking out the door's window.
"Go! I don't want to see you kids here for another week!" Nehszriah yelled. The class cheered and ran out the door, all except for Taylor-chan, who clung to Nehszriah.
"I don't wanna go..." she whined.
"Taylor-chan, it's been an hour, go home."
"Miss Nez..."
"Your mom's here. Just be sure to come next week."
"Ohhh..." Taylor-chan sighed and walked out the door.
"Why do you do this?" Remus asked as Nehszriah gathered up all the kids' books and pencils.
"I think of it as A) rewarding B) proof to those in my parish that I am not a blasphemer and C) its good practice for when I do become a teacher," she said.
"How much are they paying you?" James asked.
"Not enough," Nehszriah answered, taking the bin of books into the hall for the book cart boy to pick up.
"How much is not enough though?" Sirius chuckled as they all walked out of the building.
"I do it for free," Nehszriah laughed. The guys stopped dead in their tracks and thought at once:
Weekly torture for free? She's off her rocker...
Nez: -violin playing in background- Ah, hard is the life of a religion teacher...
Zan: ...especially when she slept through most of her own religion classes!
Nez: Gick! Baka! -bops Zan- Oh, review please! Everyone!
Zan: -rubs head- Owww... T.T