Nez: Chapter Eleven! Yayness!
Zan: -looks at chapter- This is more of a one-shot!
Nez: Well, I thought I needed to write more per chapter, so I did.
Zan: We is not owing various forms of HP, Greek mythology or anything else like that.
Nez: I did quote my English teacher in here though. The bizarre quotes belong to him and my English II class.
Zan: I wish my English class was this fun... -sad-
Chapter Eleven: English With Mr Jones
So Wednesday morning came and Remus and James were awoken hastily by Nehszriah. She gave them both a sharp kick in the side and yelled at them.
"Come on you guys! You need to get up!"
"I don't want to..." James whined.
"Sleep," Remus muttered.
"When did you guys go to sleep last night?" Nehszriah asked.
"Two, the earliest," James sighed, still half-sleeping.
"Well, get up damn it!" Nehszriah yelled, kicking James in the side. His yelp of pain woke up Remus and alerted him that Nehszriah was not joking.
"Are we going to school?" Remus asked as he got dressed into his nerd outfit again, Nehszriah with her back turned.
"Yes. You two have to follow my schedule and everything, so don't mess anything up," she muttered. "Hey, can I turn around now? I sort of need to see when walk to the bathroom down here."
"You can look," James grumbled, he and Remus having finished dressing themselves. Nehszriah turned around to see that the guys' clothes were all wrinkled and messy and that they really needed a change.
"Damn it," Nehszriah muttered. "Can't you guys learn how to conjure new clothes?" She took out her wand, flicked it at the guys and their clothes changed. Remus was now in blue jeans, a white t-shirt along with a red flannel shirt over it and James had on his own pair of blue jeans and a preppy-looking striped polo shirt. Nehszriah then went over to the basement bathroom and closed the door.
"Well, I'm hungry, how about you?" Remus said to James. The both of them smiled and they walked up the stairs and into Nehszriah's kitchen. There they could only find some sugary cereals and Pop-Tarts worth consuming, lest they would have to break out a frying pan.
"What kind of a cereal is called 'Count Chocula'?" James asked, looking at the cereal box with wonder and worry. He poured some into a bowl to find it was chocolate cereal with random marshmallows. He was about to eat it when Nehszriah came bounding up the stairs. She was wearing blue jeans and a blue Gulf Oil employee shirt that seemed to appear out of nowhere, since the were no Gulf gas stations in Michigan, let alone the Detroit area.
"Come on, we are going to be late if we don't move!" she said, sprinting off to her room to retrieve her backpack. She came back to the kitchen to drag the guys out the door and off towards Glenview.
"My breakfast!" James cried as the three teens walked up to the bustling highschool.
"Pop-Tart?" Remus asked, offering one of the toaster pastries to James. Prongs happily took the processed food from his friend and munched on it as they went into school and up the stairs.
Now it was a bit strange for Remus and James to be in a Muggle school, packed with Muggles everywhere. In Nehszriah's first hour computer class, they marveled at how the Greek man who was the teacher did not sound Greek at all and how he did little to stop some kids from molesting the computers. Then there was the class Nehszriah called "Directed Studies" on the main floor. There they got to meet her midget teacher and her idiot classmates, most of whom just sat there and made paper airplanes while the teacher yelled at them that they would receive no credit for the day. After that class, Nehszriah led the guys upstairs and into a small room. James and Remus nearly fell down when they walked in and were blasted with the smell of old and burnt coffee.
"What the...?" James groaned. He noticed that there was a huge coffee pot on the other side of the room, right next to a computer by the window. Looking around, the guys found the room to be somewhat interesting looking, being there were some posters from the novel 1984 tacked up randomly, along with some student projects and rugby posters.
"Come on and sit down guys!" Nehszriah called. She was sitting in the back of the room, right by the counters. James went and sat down on the left and Remus to her right.
"Where are we?" James asked.
"Well I'll be a blue-nosed gopher! It is the exchange students!" someone said. The guys and Nehszriah turned to find a very tall man wearing a dress shirt and tie.
"Hello Jones!" Nehszriah said pleasantly.
"Monty, please tell me they speak English," Jones said, looking directly at Nehszriah.
"They're British, of course. They speak English perfectly. It's American they have the problem with," Nehszriah answered.
"So, what are your names then? I really was not given any information about you two," Jones asked the guys.
"I am Remus Lupin."
"James Potter."
"Loony and Toilet, got it," Jones said. He then walked off to turn a projection screen on.
"He just called me a toilet!" James whined, glaring at the teacher who was now instructing a boy with a Polish surname whom he called "Yao" to sit in another seat for James was occupying his.
"Monty... where have I heard that before?" Remus pondered.
"Monty Python most likely," Nehszriah said. "My last name being a common Scottish and British name, so it wouldn't surprise me if you have come across someone with it." Then, a girl with brown hair came and sat in the desk in front of Nehszriah. She turned around and looked directly at her classmate.
"Monty!" she said, poking Nehszriah in the shoulder.
"Faucet!" Nehszriah said, poking back. James and Remus assumed that the name that Mr Jones had given her was "Faucet", but they were slightly perplexed to why.
"Hey, what names did Jones give you two?" Faucet asked.
"I am Loony and that over there is Toilet," Remus happily replied. James was saddened by his unwanted nickname and buried his head in his arms.
"Right then class!" Jones said once the bell rung. "Let's get right to work! Get out your books and open to the Illiad, Book Twenty-Four. Come on!" The class that had assembled all took out their books, while Remus and James had to lean over to see Nehszriah's book.
"Jones, I had problems with the questions last night," a girl with curly brown hair said. "They were confusing."
"Ah, but did you read it?" Jones smiled. His large hand picked up a child's coffee cup with Joe Cool on it and he took a sip of the "black gold" inside. "Monty! Did you read the reading for last night?"
"Yes," Nehszriah answered.
"Then answer the Homework Fiend's question then," Jones said. The girl grouched, looked at her paper and found what she had wanted to ask.
"I couldn't find who saw King Priam first when he came back to Troy with Prince Hector's body."
"Oh, that would be his daughter Cassandra. She was the crazy chick who could see the future and kept on telling everyone, yet no one listened, so she nearly went insane, all because she wouldn't let Apollo do her. She told them to kill her baby brother for heaven's sake, so I think she really is crazy at heart."
"All right, then who is Chalcas? I forgot," the girl asked.
"The seer dude with the lacking of proper upper limbs so his hands acted a bit like flippers. He told Agamemnon icky visions of his future and said things concerning the gods that was not in Agamemnon's favor, so Agamemnon did not like him very much." Nehszriah then drew her hands up towards her shoulders and imitated what the man Chalcas would look like with no arms, but perfectly good hands.
"Right! Now did anyone else have any questions about the homework?" Jones asked the class. "Okay, now we pick up with Hector's wife Andromache lamenting. Why is she lamenting?" Jones pointed around the room until the blonde boy sitting in the seat before James's answered him.
"She was grieving over Hector getting himself killed by Achilles."
"Yes and without Hector, the number one Trojan fighter being beaten by Achilles, the number one Greek fighter and fighter of all time, what is going to happen?" Jones asked.
"Troy shall be razed to the ground," Faucet said.
"Yes, and who else is Andromache lamenting?"Jones asked.
"Her baby son Astyanax," Nehszriah interjected.
"Why her son? He is dead?" Jones asked, giving Nehszriah a intrigued glance.
"Not yet. He will be killed because when the Greeks take over, he will be tossed from a tower like an ancient Frisbee and go splat on the ground," Nehszriah giggled.
"Ah, Monty, do not giggle at these poor misfortunes... Gick! Sweet Monkey!" Jones accidently tripped over one of the desks and started to hop around to keep his balance. The whole class laughed except Remus and James.
"Is this class a bit strange to you?" Remus asked.
"Any class that has students answering to bathroom fixtures is strange!" James whispered.
"Now class, tell me, is this a folktale we are talking about?" Jones asked.
"No!" the whole class answered.
"Why?"
"FOLKTALES ARE NOT RELIGIOUS!"
"That's my class," Jones laughed. Then a random bald man also in a dress shirt and tie came in with a travel mug in his hand.
"Stealing some coffee," the bald guy told Jones.
"Then you shall have to make it," Jones answered back. The bald guy took the empty coffee pot and walked out to fetch the water.
"Who is that?" Remus asked.
"Mr Lavender. He teaches herbology and potions," Nehszriah said.
"Who are all of the teachers in your school who teach sorcery?" James whispered. Nehszriah took a clean sheet of notebook paper and started to write.
Mr Lavender: Potions and Herbology (Science)
Ms Hazel: Charms (Spanish)
Mrs Hull: Alchemy and Transfiguration (Math and Chemistry)
Mr Smith: Quidditch (P.E. and Social Studies)
"What about Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Wizarding History? Do you not have teachers for them or something?" James asked quietly.
We do, it is just that they are teaching at different schools. Care of Magical Creatures is taught by Mr Petrovich over at Normandy High, Mrs Lavender over at SouthGlen teaches Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts is taught by both the Kingsley Bothers who both teach in Violet City High and Mrs Bowman, who teaches Wizarding History, is over at Glenview's middle school: Buchanan. That is where Zanbato and his buddies go to school.
"I am surprised at all of the teachers being so spread out," Remus said.
"Monty, Toilet, Loony, quiet or you shall not here the glory that is a correct answer from Kush," Jones said. He pointed at a boy sitting at the front of James's row and paused.
"Umm..." the Kush-person said. "The Greeks believe that the gods play an active part in history?"
"...and...?" Jones added.
"Ordinary people's lives?"
"Yes! Kush has done it!" Jones said, quite happy with his student. "Now does anything seem squirrely about Zeus choosing Alexandros/Paris to be the judge for the beauty contest between the godesses in the first place?"
"No," someone answered.
"Why not?"
"He's smarter than to get two goddesses angry," Nehszriah chimed in. Then the bell rang and everyone filed out of the room.
"Now off you all go... like a herd of turtles!" Jones exclaimed as his students left.
"Is class usually as strange as that?" James asked as they headed for a set of stairs that led to the lunchroom.
"No, stranger. We did not even get to how every Greek is related to Zeus and how loose Aphrodite is," Nehszriah said casually.
"So there is never any normal conversation in that room?"
"James, unless your version of normal conversation is discussing the soap opera lives of the Danaans and their neighbors and even down to how the Judeo-Christian Bible can be considered "Hebrew Literature", then you are going to have a tough time."
Damn, both boys thought at once as they sat down at the lunch table. Luke, Kit, Fufu, Tsuki and Chels had already arrived and it looked as if there would be no rest to the madness that had become the lives of the Maraurders.
Nez: Wow. That was short.
Zan: Short?
Nez: On a one shot standpoint.
Zan: But this is a fic chapter!
Nez: So?
Zan: -sighs-
There you all go! The madness that is the eleventh chapter! I would really like reviews for this one, being it is pretty much what does happen in my English II class. Chapter Twelve is in the works, a Slayers multi-chapter is being prodded and so are three Inuyasha one-shot fictions. Do not expect an update soon! Then again, you were not expecting two chapters, were you?